


Life. Love and Secrets

by cinderspenguin



Category: Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crossover, F/M, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealous Steve Rogers, Love Triangles, Multi, Oral Sex, Possessive Steve Rogers, Pregnancy, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-05 14:18:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 38
Words: 119,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderspenguin/pseuds/cinderspenguin
Summary: You spent 10 years with the Winchesters after saving you from a vampire attack. IN those 10 years you develop a relationship with Dean Winchester, a relationship that is going nowhere. You decide its time for a fresh start and with the help of your Angel, you get one.But fate brings you back, with a new guy from your new life. When your past and your future collide your life is turned upside down. Who will be your future and who will remain int he past. What does the future bring?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***Updated note***  
> Not so much a summary as a note. Thank you to everyone who has chosen to read this. I hope you enjoyed it. I wrote the whole story out before I posted it so the story wouldn't be altered bt opinions. I honestly believe that stories should be allowed to tell themselves.
> 
> That is just how I write.
> 
> Anyone have any ideas they would like me to tackle let me know I will do my best.
> 
> Please, this is my first fanfiction post. Let me know what I got right and what needs work. Thank you ;)
> 
> *****NOTE: For those who want to avoid the rape scene. I isolated it to chapter 22.*****
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you like and don't like so I can make changes for future fics.

Things in your life had never been what is considered normal. You jumped from one crazy trauma to another. When you were in college your entire sorority was killed by vampires trying to "recruit". If it wasn’t for Sam and Dean Winchester and their friend Castiel they would l have killed, you too. You stayed on with them finding you had a knack for research and felt you’d be safer with them around. So, you moved into the bunker with them.

That was 10 years ago. A lot has changed since then. You look around the small efficiency apartment you rented in New York. It was not much different from the bunker in that your personal living space was contained to one room, but you missed the spaciousness of the rest of the bunker and the guys. To be honest you had grown remarkably close to them they were your family. But when you started to develop stronger feelings for the oldest Winchester you knew it was time to run. You knew that he was not the type to settle easily, and besides he had experienced it once before, they all had, that intimate relationships did not work in this line of work. So instead of facing him and the heartache that you knew would go with hiding your feeling you bolted.

You remember the day you told them you were leaving it was hard and you had to give them a bullshit reason because the truth would only open a whole other discussion that you did not want to face.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dean, I can’t live under your protection forever. I need to have a life of my own.” You try to reason with him.

Dean just glares at you, taking another drink of his whiskey, while watching you from the door as you packed. “You're running away…that is what you are doing.”

“Yeah as opposed to what you do!” Your voice getting louder as you try to hide the pain. You knew that Dean can tell there is more to you leaving, but you didn’t want to tell him, and he is too stubborn to ask you.

“I don’t run! I never run!” he grumbles glaring at you while gesturing at your packed bags by his feet just inside your door.

“Not physically…No. You just drink yourself into oblivion instead of dealing." You point to his drink with your hand that is holding a bag as you head to the door stopping to pick up the other two. You pause looking him in the eyes. He steps toward you his face now close to your face, dangerously close. Dean is now so close to you that you can smell the whiskey and gunpowder that is distinctly him. After a moment, you make your way down the hallway to the main area where you see Cas and Sam. They are sitting silently, trying to pretend that they are occupied. The awkwardness in the room hinting to you that they heard everything that was said between you and Dean.

Sam looks up at you first, Cas following shortly after as if queued that it was okay. You look at the two men, knowing you will miss them immensely, especially Cas. The way he makes you laugh with his naivety and innocence. He always had a knack for breaking the tension with bizarre comments, strange questions, or odd behavior. He won a special place in your heart. "Come here you guys," you say quietly giving them both a hug as you say goodbye. 

You feel Sam hug you a little tighter as he says softly to you, “He would’ve made it work.”

You freeze for a moment, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Emotional pain making your heart race. “I know, but I don’t want him to.” You reply fighting back the tears. After Sam lets you go, you turn to Cas. You find a sudden interest in the floor. “Hey, big guy, ya wanna give a gal a lift?” You mumble, then you smile, fighting back the tears that are trying to fall. This is harder then you thought it would be.

“Umm…” he looks uncertainly from you to Sam. As his eyes turn back to you, they freeze on something over your shoulder and you know at once who. The expression on Cas’ face says it all.

“It’s fine, I’ll catch a cab to the bus station," you reply grabbing your bags and start-up to the stairs to the exit. The sound of your boots clinking on the metal steps fills the silent room. Once out the door, you breathe in a sigh of relief, allowing the tears to finally flow. You walk to the edge of the small drive. You put down your bags a third time to retrieve your phone and call a cab. Just as you were about to dial the number you heard the swoosh telling you that Cas had just arrived. You put your phone away, hoping that he will not try to convince you to stay.

“Dean just destroyed half the library,” Cas said matter of fact. 

You look at him in shock, and then tears start to fall again, "I really hurt him."

Without a word, he pulls you into his embrace and in the next moment, you appear in a small efficiency apartment. Cas releases you, you look around. “Where am I?” you ask him.

“Your new apartment.” He looks around ensuring it was safe. “I may have helped you, a bit.” He looks down again.

“Cas…” you don't know what to say. You just look around. “Do the guys know about this?” you ask him.

“No,” he looks into your eyes, a resolve there that you never saw before. “You need to be safe. As much as they think so, you are not safe with the Winchesters, everyone they get close to dies. I can’t let that happen to you.” His statement is so simply put that it shocks you.

“You hid this...from them?” you ask both in shock and admiration at his actions.

“Yes,” he replies tilting his head slightly. He looks confused for a moment eyes narrowing. “You did want to leave correct?”

“Yeah, Cas, I did, but I thought….” You take a minute and trying to gauge his emotions. “This is just not usually something you do.”

“I have done this before…but for you it's different. I need you to be safe.” He looks at you with pleading in his eyes. There are emotions there that you did not realize were there before. He cares for you, more than cares for you. You froze in thought this confession, the implications running through your mind.

Before you can say anything on the subject, he changes it. “There is a group of individuals here. They can protect you if you need that.” He stops to making sure you are hearing him. You simply nod. "I have been in contact with one of them. He owed me a favor. I called it in."

“Who?” you ask Cas. Your curiosity now peaked, so much so you almost forget the fact Cas has feelings for you.

“His name is Tony. He called on me once when he lost his parents some years back. I helped him with the grief and a couple of times since then.” Cas paused, in his mind, he is hoping that this is not a mistake. “He is a little unconventional, but he has a good heart and a good group of friends. You should find it a good fit.”

Cas suddenly pulls you in for an extraordinarily strong hug. You begin to sob, knowing this is goodbye. You pull away keeping your arms around him looking into his eyes. “If you do need me, just pray, I will always come for you.” You nod again looking into his eyes trying to memorize the blue. You feel yourself getting lost in them. Cas pulls you in for a kiss. Shock flies through your body, but then you give in to the kiss. The feeling of the tingling sensation to your toes.

Your mind is scrambled with the gentle passion you feel behind Cas's Kiss. You feel Cas pull away. You stand there a moment more, eyes still closed cherishing the feel a moment longer. When you open them, you find him gone. All that is left to remind you of him is a note. In the note, the fact that you had three months rent paid in advance, and a couple of credit cards in the envelope under it for any other expenses you may need until you get on your feet.


	3. Chapter 3

That was 3 years ago. Since then, you had contacted Tony. “Tony” happened to be Tony Stark the billionaire, also known as Iron man. Cas wasn’t lying when he said he found someone to protect you. What better than a group of superheroes who work for a secret government agency. You have not heard from the Winchester’s or Cas since the day Cas left you there. The kiss Cas left you with a pleasant memory you held.

Tony put you to work doing research on cases for the Avengers. He brings you files gained from missions and tasks you with combing through it for anything of use. It is an excellent job and pays well. Through it, you make friends with all the Avengers, and they seem to have taken you under their wing. They even call you the “honorary avenger”.

Today you are decrypting some files Steve retrieved from a recently exposed Hydra agent. A state senator no less. It had ceased to surprise you how deep Hydra has infiltrated the government. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if the president is a Hydra agent. The decryption file has just finished with another file when Jarvis interrupts you. “Tony needs to see you immediately.” The AI informs you. You quickly run your own encryption of the file, safety is the key. Stark Tower having experienced several attempts of hacking from Hydra in the past, you did not want to run that risk again. Grabbing your suit jacket, you throw it on as you make your way to the elevator. Your heart begins to race when you see Steve in the elevator as the doors open to let you in. “Hi” he flashes that killer smile at you. You quickly push the button to the main floor where there is housing, the labs, and avengers training facilities.

“Hi” you respond barely above a whisper. Your eyes find the floor of the elevator, then the door and the control panel. Your stomach was full of butterflies as your heart races. You have had a crush on Steve since you first met him, but were afraid to do anything about it. You have spent time with him but rarely was in one on one and even then you had issues talking to him.

“How is the decryption coming on that intel I got yesterday?” he asks.

“Just finished decryption, I should have a report ready for you in a few hours. Depending on how long Tony keeps me.”

Steve turns to you, surprise on his face. “You too?”

“I guess.” You reply worry etching your face. What if Tony wants a report now. Usually, the decryption would not have taken so long, but for some reason, this file was more heavily decrypted than most.

“I’m sure it’s something simple, like what type of pizza should we have for lunch today?” Steve replies. You know he's trying to soothe your nerves. It was comforting, how well Steve could read you. You just hope he hasn't read too much into you. Your feelings for him are not something that you are sure you wanted him to know about yet.

The doors open, and in true Steve manner, he puts his hand on the front of the door holding it open. He motions for you to go first. You step out past him, his cologne filling your senses and you move to close to him your shoulder brushing his chest. "Sorry," you mumble.

"It's okay," he smiles brightly. Secretly he felt a spark with the contact. Quickly he puts the thoughts aside following right behind you. You feel him put his hand on the small of your back, sparks shoot up your spine. Steve feels it too and takes it in as the two of you make your way into Tony’s lab.

“Hey, you two” Tony looks up, a welder’s helmet on his head. He immediately notices Steve’s hand on your back and files that away for a moment. You breathe a sigh of relief at least it wasn’t about the files. “Got plans for the next week or so?” he asks.

You look at him confused for a moment, then reply simply. "Other than skimming Caps stuff, no,” you reply. You blush with the realization that, with the current company, how what you said could be construed. Sure enough, Tony’s eyebrows both raise and he coughs to cover a smirk. You feel your face turn the brightest red, looking out of the corner of your eye at Steve who seems oblivious to the innuendo, thankfully.

“Okay,” Tony says getting a Cheshire cat smile on his face. You feel your stomach drop. Tony was up to something and you do not like it.

“You two need to go undercover for me, well Fury. I think we may have found another hydra cell, but Intel is still too sketchy.” He tosses a file at Steve and then his smile falls onto you. You try to ignore Tony's smile as you look at the file Steve was reading. Your eyes fall onto the location. Immediately your eyes shoot back to Tony.

“Kansas…Lebanon Kansas. Tony…” you glare at him. He knows the circumstance that brought you here, and why you did not want to go back there for any reason. Steve just looked between the two of you his interest peaked but too polite to pry.

“This will be a chance for you to catch up with some old friends, trust me you.” He winks at you, slightly gesturing to Steve. You get the inference and become even angrier. You did not want to see them, and you certainly did not want Steve to meet them. Despite this, you also know that any further argument would open up a discussion of what you left behind, and you did not want to do that either. You had successfully made a life here, and you did not want to bring the past into your current situation.

“Fine” you reply curtly. Your disdain clear in your voice and your eyes. As you turn to leave hearing Steve run up behind you.

“Hey, wait up!” he calls after you, you wait by the elevator for him. “I take it you’re from Lebanon Kansas?”

“Yes and no” you reply to him. He holds your eyes with his own. You sigh and give as little information as possible. "I lived there with some friends once. They gave me work and we were close. When I left, it wasn’t on good terms, they didn’t want me to leave, but I felt it was for the best.”

“Oh, I see.” Steve wants to ask more but leaves it for another time. “Well, I guess we should pack.” Replies as he walks to the elevator. As it opens you both step in. You get off so you can go back to your office.

After closing the files you transferred to your laptop and stuffing that in your bag, you head out to the elevator to go home to pack. When you reach the lobby, you find Steve waiting there for you. “Hey” he calls out to you, raising his hand to get your attention. As if you could miss him in the nearly empty lobby. Even in full room, you could feel his presence. Your stomach always getting butterflies when you see him for the first time whenever you meet up.

You force yourself to smile. “Hey”

“I thought maybe you could use help packing or something?” You smile at him 'always the gentleman' you think to yourself.

“I’m fine. I’ll meet ya on the tarmac” you reply just needing a minute to vent your anger at Tony for pushing you to do this. You did not want to resurrect your past with either Dean or Cas, and you did not want to use the jealousy card to see if Steve had feelings for you. You just wanted to leave the past where it belonged, and look to the future you had in front of you.

A half an hour later you are in the taxi on your way to meet Steve. You are a combination of nervous and anxious to go back to Lebanon. It would be nice to see Sam again, even Cas, but you knew Dean would not be happy to see you and even worse with another guy, with Steve no less, Dean would be furious.

You decide it would be best to at least give Sam or Cas a fair warning that you are coming. Maybe they can cushion the blow. You call Sam’s phone…it rings 4 times…5 times you are about to hang up when a familiar but unexpected voice picks up.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello,” a gruff voice answers. Your heart jumps in your chest.

“Dean…”

“Y/N…” the surprise in his voice is exactly what you expect. He is the last person you want to talk to. 

If he is answering the phone then where is Sam? You pause, swallow, then after another moments pause, you ask. “Is Sam or Cas there?” You don’t hear anything from the other end, just silence, and you think maybe he hung up. 

Quickly checking you see the phone is still connected. Bringing it back to your ear you hear muffled voices, then thankfully Cas.“Y/N”

“Hey” you reply trying your hardest to keep your voice even. You didn’t realize how much you missed him until you hear his voice.]

“Are you okay? Do I need to come to you?” he asks.

You hear Dean’s voice in the background. Very angerly, he asks Cas, “You knew where she was? All this time and you didn’t tell us!”

“No, I’m fine. I’m actually coming to you.” You reply. You hear Dean’s voice on the phone again. Cas has turned it onto speakerphone. Probably to pacify Dean.

“About. Damn. Time.” Dean replies punctuating each word for emphasis. You sigh. Then decide you might as well put it all out there now that you had an audience.

“I’m not coming back alone.” You say quietly waiting for the backlash. Cas suspected you may have company, being who he left you with, but Dean was not prepared for this.

“OH…so is she hot? We gonna have to put a leash on Sammy?” He tries to play off his disappointment, knowing both, that you were not coming home to stay, and that you are coming back with someone.

“He…” you pause to gather the courage you need to finish what you need to say. “He is someone you probably already know.”

Now, Dean was just pissed. Not only was it a guy, but another hunter. Who else could Dean, Sam, and Cas know? You left your family, him, to have a “normal life” with another hunter. “Who is this ass hat?” you hear Dean reply.

“Dean!!” you hear Cas chastising him.

“His name is Steve.” Now both Cas and Dean are quiet. Dean, because he is trying to figure out how many hunters he knew named Steve, and Cas because he already knows who you are talking about. Cas knew you would find someone like Steve, but he did not think that you and Steve would…You wanted normal, and Steve was just a variation of himself mixed with Dean.

“Y/N…Do you mean Steve Rogers?” Cas asks. You pause, knowing where his mind was, and you waited for the backlash from Dean, you know is about to follow.

“FUCKING CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!!” was all you heard Dean say before there was silence. You assume Cas had muted the phone. You get out of the cab, you wait for the few minutes it takes for them to get their shit together. While you are waiting, you go to pay for the cab. Steve is already there paying the driver with your bags under his arm. When he is done he guides you to the jet with a hand on the small of your back. As you board the plane, you hear a click and know that you are off mute.

“Y/N?” you hear Cas’ voice.

“Am I still on speakerphone?” you ask in annoyance.

“No”

“Did Dean finally calm down?” you see Steve’s attention turn to you the second he hears a man's name. Steve, Wanda, and Bruce all knew vaguely about your past. They knew you had friends who were remarkably close to you, as well as their names and that your parents were dead. They knew little else. Tony was the only person at the tower who knew everything about what you left behind, thanks to Cas.

“He is out getting more alcohol,” Cas says plainly.

“Cas.” You sigh. “Don’t let him do that to himself” you feel responsible for him now. Knowing he was hurting, again, because of you.

“Y/N… Are you dating Steve?” Cas seems hurt by this. You knew this was going to be hard, but did they have to make it this difficult.

“No Cas, I am not seeing anyone.” You reply, your attention pulled to Steve. He is looking at you now... with an angry look? 'What the hell?' You think to yourself. You never realized your love life was such a hot topic. Or that Steve cares at all.

“Oh, I thought…” Cas' voice pulling you from your thoughts.

“I know what your thinking Cas…and no,” you reply. Your attention is pulled from your phone to the pilot, who informs you that you have landed. “Hey, Cas…we just landed. Can I call you after we get settled in?”

“You’re in town already?”

“Yes, perks of having your own jet.” You quip.

“OK, I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” you reply and hang up. You look to Steve knowing he has questions. Your eye meets his briefly and you look away as you gather your bags, or try to, as Steve grabs them all along with his.

“So…” Steve starts. You simply look at him as you wait for the car Tony rented for you. “Dean? Cas?”

“Yeah.” You reply knowing he was looking for more, but not wanting to volunteer the information.

“So, an Ex?”

“Not really”

“What does “Not really “mean?” he asks pressing for more information.

You sigh knowing it will get out sooner rather than later. “Dean and I had something close to a thing. We flirted, we considered the idea of more, but nothing came of it, OK?” You look at him pointedly. Thankfully the car pulls up allowing you a distraction, albeit momentarily.

While Steve puts your bags in the trunk, the pilot walks up to you. He hands you an envelope with two room keys and a credit card. “Ma’am this is your room keys and a card for expenses.” You nod to the pilot thanking him.

Steve gets his bike off the plane as you get into the car. You examine the room keys, then pull out the credit card and a note you did not know was there. You turn to Steve as he walks over to your car window handing him the note assuming it was directions or an address for the B&B. You are about to point out that the room keys are both for the same room when Steve shakes his head handing the paper to you.

 

I hope you enjoy this week off. Cap, I know this will give you a chance to get some things off your chest.  
I figured the only way to get you and Y/N alone is to make up a case. You need to put closure on your  
past before you can move on with your future. 

So, I figured what better way than to get you two in the same town, and the SAME ROOM.

Have fun kids,  
Tony

 

Your face goes white. You look at Steve. “We only have one room.”

“Well, I can see if we can get a second room, if not I can take the floor.” He replies. You know you will not let him do that. If there was only one bed and no other options, you’ll offer to share the bed. You did it all the time with Dean when you travel for cases. it would be no different with Steve, even better, maybe Steve isn’t a cover hog. 'Either way, this was going to be an interesting week.' you think to yourself.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony set you up with a B&B on the edge of town. It is a quaint turn of the century home. The attendant Charlotte is very welcoming and tells you that Tony himself had set up the reservations a week ago.

“He is such a nice man, reserving the entire inn for the whole week. So you can enjoy your engagement as well as visit your family to announce your engagement.” Charlotte is beaming with excitement. She obviously knows who you are.

“Thank you, Ma’am, we are very happy as well,” Steve replies putting his arm around your waist and pulling you close to his side. Your heart races and you are momentarily speechless as you look at his smiling face beaming down at you. “I’m a very lucky man to have found someone to share my life with.” He finishes looking at you. You are lost for words.

“Oh, you two are such a cute couple.” She gushes. "If you need anything just let me know.”

“Can you keep our visit private, please? We just want to be able to enjoy our time together before we make our announcement public.” You smile through gritted teeth, plotting exactly how you were going to kill Tony when you got back to New York.

“Oh Yes!! Mr. Stark told me the same thing. He was adamant that discretion was key to your visit and he asked me to give you this extra gift.” She hurried behind the check out counter she was standing in front of and pulled about a black garment box with a red ribbon on it. Smiling while she places a do not disturb door tag on it. “Just in case” she adds with a wink.

You feel your face blush. You're looking down at the box, your curiosity peaked, as you excuse yourself and head up to your room. Steve follows behind you with your bags. Once you get to the room you take in your surroundings. You note the room is not the flowery mess you expected from a B&B, it does have wallpaper, but it is a two-toned buttermilk color. The bedding is white and very inviting. The down comforter looking like a pillow, standing in stark contrast with the dark mahogany four post-antique king-size bed. There is a private bath to your left and a large claw foot tub that looked big enough for two. The idea of you and Steve sharing that tub making your body tingle with the thought of it. Then you realize you are letting the story Tony started get into your head. Putting your wishful thinking aside, you go to your bags, unpacking and putting your clothes into the matching antique dresser to the right of the bathroom door.

You notice Steve standing behind you still taking in the room. “Well at least it's not filled with flowers,” you comment. He turns to you his face slightly flushed.

“Y/N.” he looks unsure of what he wants to say. He looks down and then around to room rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, Steve” you reply.

“There isn’t a couch and not enough room for me to lay on the floor without bumping into something” his face reddening, "and I don’t think asking for a second room is an option, being that Charlotte thinks we are engaged.” You see the dilemma he is struggling with and you smile. You're hoping this is your chance to make your move without seeming too eager.

“Well, we can share the bed.” You pause to gauge his reaction. Then rush forward, when he looks slightly shocked for a moment as he then turns to look at the bed as if considering it. “It’s not a big deal I’ve done it before.” You blurt out trying to convince him, but this last comment caught his attention.

“You've shared a bed with a guy before haven't you?” he looks at you.

Shit, you chastise yourself knowing you just reopened that conversation. “Yeah, when I was working with the guys, we didn’t have a lot of funds. So we would rent one room and there were usually only two beds, and three of us so…” you trailed off hoping that would satisfy him but of course it did not.

“You slept with Dean, in the same bed?” he turned facing you fully and you knew that this conversation was not going away anytime soon. You turn to continue putting your clothing in the drawer and slam it shut showing your frustration.

“YES! Steve, I slept with Dean in the same bed MANY MANY times!” your voice rising. “You happy Steve! We slept together. We cuddled in bed... together. It was hard to adjust to being without him when I left, I got used to him being there.” You freeze not sure what just happened. You didn’t intend on telling him all that. Tears starting to fill your eyes as the hurt and fear fill them. You are over Dean, but knowing that Steve knew this might push him away and you felt that fear grip you. You turn to him hoping that you hadn’t just lost whatever it was you had with him.

Steve just looked at you, not saying anything for a few moments, absorbing your words. You look down at his arms crossed in front go him and step forward to touch him. “Y/N,” he says his voice very low. “Are you going to be okay sharing your bed with me?”

“Yes.” You say meekly. You step closer and reach out for him. He puts his arms around you giving you the comfort that you desperately need. You love this, the way he comforts you when you are upset or scared. The way he makes you feel safe from the past you want to forget, the pain that lived there. He is your rock and your haven from the nightmares you had had when you first began to work for Tony. He is the first person you would reach out to you and he welcomed you in. This created a bond between the two of you that started the spark that now burned in your heart for him.

“Shhhhh….” He hushes you as he runs his hand over the back of your head. “I’m sorry I let my jealousy get the best of me.” He said quietly.

You stiffen at the confession. Did he say jealousy? “Did you say you were jealous?” you ask him.

“Maybe” you pull away looking at him. Wanting him to explain. He keeps his arms around you looking at you. "You have so much history with them. I wish I had that kind of history with you. All of my history, is ancient history.” he jokes. You laugh and hit him on the chest playfully.

“Yeah, you are an old man” You joke smiling. “But you don’t have to be jealous of that. We are creating our own memories. Like Tony said, my future is with you….” You stop for a second taking his hand in yours. “and the other Avengers.” You add to cover your near confession. “Dean, Cas, and Sam are my past.” You smile at him hoping this helps him feel better.

What you didn’t know is he is jealous of the way you spent time with them, but he wasn’t going to push it right now. You had enough to deal with at the moment. It was not the time for him to tell you how he felt, the feelings he had for you had to wait. Even if his feelings were even something you were interested in, had to wait until you dealt with your past, meeting up with your old friends, and making the decision once and for all to leave them behind. Steve had brought his bike along to use to get around so you would have the car. You appreciated the gesture Steve was always thinking of others especially you. 

The two of you decide to take the bike. You take the car to the jet and unload the bike. Steve always enjoyed a chance to get you on his bike it gave him the chance to feel you close to him. Being on his bike gave you the chance to experience the freedom that the bike offered you was just what you needed at the moment. This time, however, you found it more comforting, holding him then you expected. It was nice to feel that sun on your skin and the wind in your hair as you travel to the bunker. The momentary feeling of freedom helped you to build your courage up for what you were about to face while he drives the two of you through town. Occasionally someone would recognize him, and he would wave as you passed through the small town to the highway on the other side. Pulling up to the bunker you direct Steve to park across the road from the entrance. You sit for a minute gathering your thoughts. A million memories running through your mind. You get off Steves bike stepping across the street and are standing there taking it all in when almost as if on cue, Cas opens the door to the bunker stopping at the sight of you.

“Hello Y/N,” you're about to head over to him when you feel a hand on your arm. Stopping, you look to Steve, his eyes filled with worry, looking to see if you were okay. You look back to Cas who also stopped and looks to Steve then back to you. You turn back to Steve nodding and he releases you to go to Cas. 

You run to Cas and he sweeps you up into his arms. “Cas,” you whisper as he holds you in his arms. Thoughts of the kiss you shared rushing back into your mind. You sigh wishing that things had been different.

“I know Y/N,” he says, and you feel tears fall from your eyes. He pulls you closer. While Cas is holding you, you can hear a shuffle of shoes behind you from the road and know Steve was approaching behind you. You stifle the last of your tears as Cas puts you down. You smile at Cas and turn to Steve. Steve sees the redness in your eye and pulls you to him wrapping an arm around your waist you rest your head on his shoulder.

Cas sees this interaction and nods. An understanding forms between the three of you. Secretly, however, he knows this will not go well with one of the two Winchesters inside. Cas just hopes that he can hold back Dean while keeping his emotions in check as well. Cas never even bothered to show you how he felt until that day you left. Another thing that made Dean angry. Dean cared for you. Cas knew this and that is why he never acted on those feelings. When he told Dean that he had taken you away and let it slip that he kissed you goodbye, Dean attacked. It took weeks of time, one-night stands and copious amounts of alcohol for Dean to talk to Cas again. He just hoped that this would be easier for him to take.

“Steve,” Steve says to Cas holding his hand out in greeting.

“Castiel” Cas replies taking the man’s hand in his firmly shaking it. “So, should I call you Steve or Captain or…” he releases Steve’s hand. “I never met a soldier and superhero before, not sure what the proper edict is in such matters.”

“Steve is fine.” Steve immediately begins to like Cas. He senses a desire to be respectful to Y/N and himself. That respect earns points with him.

“Ok…Steve.” Cas replies turning to move to the bunker door. The Large heavy metal door creaks open and the smell of oil, gasoline, and familiarity rushed to you. For a moment you pause, your nerves starting to leave you, but before you can treat you feel Steve’s hand on the small of you back and his breath reaching your ear. 

“Are you okay?” he senses your anxiety as well. But his touch and voice bring you back to safety. You just nod knowing your voice will betray you at this moment. Your two worlds are about to crash together, and you are not sure what the outcome will be. You take Steve's hand in yours. He looks at you briefly. He smiles and nods giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You walk through the garage, the vintage cars reminding you of Steve and the years that have passed by from his time to yours. Reminding you that he has a past that was very much separate from his present much like you. Just another thing that you both have in common. 

You squeeze his hand getting his attention. His eyes are drawn away from the cars to you and he smiles down to you. His smile giving you that little bit of confidence you needed. You gaze turns to Cas. He stands a short distance away, waiting for you. You finally realize that you have stopped walking. It was then that you see her, Baby, in all her glory. She sits right by the Cas and the door to the bunker. You walk slowly up to her, placing your hand on her hood, taking another moment to remember the road trips, the fun times and the bad spent with her, in and with her owner. Steve watches you not sure what to make of your behavior. You nod to Cas and smile. He takes that as a cue opening the door stepping through.


	6. Chapter 6

You look to Steve. “You ready to meet the guys,” you say to him and he nods. You step into the bunker, pulling Steve behind you. You are immediately hit with the smell of old books, whiskey, and faint cigar smoke for the previous residents. Cas is already halfway down the stairs. You stand at on the top of the stairs by the door with Steve right behind you. You can feel his body heat on your back his closeness giving you courage and comfort. Then you see him. Dean, sitting at the large map table, as you like to call it, the glow of the lights from the tabletop making his face look almost angelic. You, however, know better. You see the bottle of whiskey on the table and know that it is not the only one he drank today. His eyes are rimmed red and the pain on his face looks as fresh as it did the day you left. Your hand tightens on Steve’s as you descend the stairwell, your eyes scanning the room. You see Dean’s eyes drop to Steve’s hand in yours and then back to you as he downs his drink, then pours another one, drinking most of that one too before turning his attention to Cas.

“They stray has returned.” He mutters loudly to Cas. The words cut into you, but you know they are said out of hurt and not the truth of how he feels.

“Dean,” Cas warns stepping slightly closer to him while moving to put you and Steve behind him. You can tell he's trying not to make it look too obvious. You notice the movement and know the reason behind it. Cas has stepped between many fights between the two of you in the past. Steve seems to have missed it still taking in the fact that the man in front of him was Dean. Dean radiated anger, regret, self-loathing, but mostly pain. Steve knows you are the source of that pain, he also knows that you have dealt with your own pain and has moved on. Steve protectively draws you closer to him putting his free hand on your waist. He means the gesture as a reassurance for you that he was here for you. Dean, however, takes it as a territorial move and verbally pounces.

“Hey, Captain Douchebag, I know she’s yours! You don’t need to piss on her leg to make your point.” Dean's glare meets Steves then yours. 

Steve stands taller if that was possible and retorts. “Only a disrespectful drunk would feel that they can own a woman.” Dean stands up knocking the chair over from behind him. Just as you are about to start to step in to break them up, you see Sam, and you see your opportunity for distraction. 

“SAM!!!” you yell pulling Steve with you trying to diffuse the situation.

“Y/N?” he says walking over to you. You let go of Steve to jump into the taller man’s arms and he spins you around. Putting you down only after you start to laugh loudly and hit his chest begging for him to put you down. You turn to introduce Steve to Sam and see Dean had sat back down and taken to drinking directly from the bottle. “My God it’s good to see you!!” he smiles down to you.

“Sam this is…” and Sam cuts you off.

“Captain America, I know." Sam smiles shaking Steve’s hand vigorously. "You look bigger in person.” Dean rolls his eyes resorting to drinking directly from the bottle. Steve just lets him geek out for a moment trying not to look as awkward as he feels. “How do you know our Y/N?” he asks letting Steve's hand go. Steve returns it to the small of your back. You look over to Dean and he just scoffs at you.

“Please…just Steve.” He corrects Sam. “We met at work. Y/N is a researcher for the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D.” He smiles at you proudly.

“SOOO…ya trade us for a NORMAL life and go right back to the same thing.” Dean is done being quiet. He gets up and struts over to where the four of you are talking.

“Dean…” Cas warns him again his eyes narrowing at him, ready to act if needed.

“No Cas! She left because she wanted to." Then Dean air quotes. “Be on her own”. He glares at you then turns back to Cas repeating the air quotes again saying, “Have a normal life”. He turns and gestures at Steve. “THIS is not normal. This is far from normal.” Dean turns and gestures to Sam. “At least when you left you shacked up with a Veterinarian.” Dean turns looking directly into Steve’s eyes “not a senior citizen.” Before anyone had time to react Steve punches Dean right in the nose and Dean falls back. Cas catches him. Dean begin to see red, you can see his fight face go into place. Cas holds him back, as Sam just stands there in shock.

“STOP DISRESPECTING Y/N!” Steve grunted out. Ready for Dean to try to fight back.

“What a piece of work,” Dean growls shrugging off Cas. Then stomps off to his room, grabbing the whiskey bottle on the way.

“I am sorry,” Steve apologized to Sam.

“No, it’s okay,” Sam countered, “Dean sometimes needs to think about what he says. Especially when he’s been drinking.” Sam’s gaze falls on you and he continues “He’s just been hurting since you left, and well, he’s not dealing very well. He never does when he loses people he cares about.”

Looking down, you nod, “Yeah, this was probably a mistake. I never should have come here.” You say as you turn to leave.

“Y/N, no! That’s not what I meant,” he sighs running his hands through his hair. “Don’t go! We...” Sam motions between Cas and himself, “ We would love to catch up with you. Its been too long. Dean is just…well-being Dean, he will come around." Sam starts to walk off to the kitchen calling over his shoulder. "Let me get you something to drink. Coffee, soda, what you drink nowadays?” Sam asks trying to be accommodating.

“I'll take a beer.” You answer knowing that Dean inevitably has a stock somewhere. Unless he drank them all in his latest drinking binge.

“Got it,” Sam smiles and looks to Steve.

Steve looks unsure of what to say still feeling bad for hitting Sam’s brother, so your answer for him. “He’ll have beer too” answer. “He’s like Cas with alcohol and Sam nods leaving for the kitchen.

Now that it was just the three of, you turn to Cas. “How bad has it been?” you ask. He immediately knows you are talking about Dean.

“He was fine, until well...this morning.” He looks down at the table.

“Until I said... I was coming back.” You whisper. You see Steve reach a hand out to hold yours. You take it needing the comfort and your eyes shoot to Cas. His eyes lock on your hands entwined and then nods to himself, your heart drops.

You know he believes Steve and you are a couple, and you want to be. Or you thought you did, but now that you are back here again...in Cas’ presence...you feel torn. Part of you wants to run to Cas and kiss him like he did the day he said goodbye, but another part reminds you that you left that part of your life behind. Even if you did want to pursue this with Cas, you would only cause Dean more pain and even worse hurt Steve. Getting together with Dean's best friend, knowing he still obviously harbors feelings for you. That would be like twisting the dagger you put into his back showing up with Steve in tow.

“Y/N” Cas sighs reaching across the for you to get you to look into his eyes. “ When you left he drank for weeks. It almost killed him. He was walking a thin line before you came back. It was bound to break.” You nod to Cas. Hearing his words wanting to believe them but, in your heart, they are hallowed.

Sam returned with the beers for the four of you. He sits them down on the table as you all sit down and pulls out a deck of cards. “Cap…Steve,” he corrects himself. “You know how to play poker, right?” Sam looks hopeful. He is obviously sensing the tension and is wanting something to break the mood.

Steve quickly picks up on the idea and smiles, giving your hand a tight squeeze before letting it go nodding and grabbing the deck of cards. “Yeah, I learned how to play before the war. We all used to play it during the war. It was the only thing we had to keep our minds off of…things.” He finished.

Cas’ head popped up at his eyes narrowing at Steve. “You fought in the war?” he asks looking to Sam in confusion.

“Umm…Yeah” Steve was unsure how to answer.

“Cas. Steve was in WWII. He fought against Hitler…” Sam tells him. Cas nods looking to Steve again for a moment in understanding. Originally, Cas had thought Steve was part of the war to prevent the apocalypse.

“How?” Cas asked again. You couldn’t help but laugh. Cas looked at you tiling his head. “I don’t understand.” He continues his eyes narrowing in thought. “You are much too young to be…ove 100?!?!?” Cas looks even more confused looking to Sam.

Sam shakes his head, smiling, while Steve just looks dumbfounded. “Cas…It was the serum and being frozen in ice.”

Steve looks to you for help and you just smile trying not to laugh. “I am actually 100 but physically I am 37. That’s what my driver’s license says anyway.” He jokes at the end. You and Sam both smile. Cas nods in understanding then replies with, “I can relate I am 2 millennia old, but my vessel is only 39 years old. It is strange to see so much time pass.”

Steve just froze. He looks to Y/N wanting to know if this was a joke. You supply “Steve, Cas is an angel.”

“Oh…” he takes a minute to take this in, he laughs then nods.

“Steve, I’m not joking.” Unable to believe he took the information so well.

“Y/N…I’ve seen aliens fall out of a hole in the sky, I was unthawed after being frozen for over 70 years in ice, one of my good friends is a Norse God of Thunder” He motions to Cas. “An angel actually makes sense to me.” He replies dismissively. Sam busts out laughing, and you just smile. Steve never ceases to amaze you. He is taking this whole situation in stride. Steve finishes shuffling the cards he has in his hand and begins to deal them out. 

“Well since that is out there,” you reply smiling at Cas. “Did you ever get to the bottom of what Crowley was up to with all those texts he was collecting." You ask picking up your cards one at a time.

“Well he was trying to open another gate to purgatory,” Sam responds picking up his cards as well.

“You’d think he would have learned from what happened to me when I did it…” Cas adds. You notice the cards had stopped coming and you turn to Steve after you notice you only had 3.

“Steve?” his face is pale as he looks at you. “Steve, you ok?” worry seeping into your voice.

“Did you see a ghost?” Sam asks looking over his shoulder. You look to Sam. Sam turns to look at you. “Yeah, apparently the bunker is not ghost proof.” You nod.

“Ghosts...too?” Steve says as he looks between the two of you. You sigh. You should have given Steve the talk before you came here.

“Steve” you start. Then you place a hand on his arm. “Everything you ever heard of that is supernatural…well it is all real and we...” you stop, yourself correcting yourself for a moment. “They fight them.” You gesture to Sam and Cas.

“This is what you did before you came to me…to the Avengers?”

“Yes”

“That’s dangerous.” He turns to Sam. “You let her do this?” Sam’s jaw drops. Speechless.

You can feel your anger rising. “They didn’t let me do anything! I wanted to. It was What. I. wanted. And I was good at it.”

Steve instantly back peddles his comment, regretting what he's said. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…I just.”

“I know what you meant, Steve. This isn’t the 1940’s and I’m not some dame needing saving. I can take care of myself." and you get up from the table, walking to the hall.

“Y/N” Cas calls to you.

“I’m going to the bathroom…I think I'll be okay." You spin on your heals to face Steve. Captain! Do you think I need an escort? Can a girl do take a piss without getting hurt?” you snap stomping away not waiting for an answer.

“I just screwed up, didn’t I?” Steve looks to Sam and Cas. He knows he did. He is just hoping for a sympathetic voice or even advice.

“She'll be fine” Sam reassures him. “Dean and she have had this fight quite often... In the Beginning.” Sam trails off.

“Then they started to sleep together” Cas added.

Steve’s look shoots straight to Cas and Sam yells “Cas!!”

“What?” Cas asks, confused. “Isn’t that the goal that Steve has, to bed Y/N?”

Suddenly it hits Sam, “Wait for you two aren’t together?”

“No,” Steve replies simply his eyes dropping to the table. Steve hangs his head. After a few moments pause, he looks up. “I want to be. But we just keep dancing around it.” Both men just look at him and Sam gives a single nod in response. Steve rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not good at the whole romance thing. The last woman I was attracted to…I waited too long, and now she’s gone. I just am not sure what to say.”

Sam nods, “I was the same way. When I was younger. I was awkward, shy and a loner. I didn’t even know how to approach a girl. I had to get advice from…” Sam stopped. He didn’t want to say Dean’s name, but he didn’t have to.

“Dean… Sam, it was Dean. He told me this story when he tried helping me court a girl once. He is an excellent source of advice. He has quite a way with the ladies.” Cas finished. A slight admiration in his voice. Steve’s face drops. His mind reeled. If he didn’t tell you how he felt, he might lose you to Dean. What Cas just said confirmed he already had a way with you that gave him the advantage. “

Steve, don’t worry,” Sam tries to console him while glaring at Cas. Turning to Steve he finishes, “Y/N cares for you deeply, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. I’ve only ever seen that look on her face once before.” And he glares at Cas mentally telling him to shut up. Cas gets the message. Steve also notices the look but dismisses it, he knows that Sam is thinking of Dean. Steve finishes dealing out the rest of the cards and the three sit silently, waiting for you to return. Sam gets up to grab more beers leaving the Cas and Steve to sit in quiet contemplation.


	7. Chapter 7

You finish in the bathroom and are about to head back to the group. You start down the hall when you feel the need to check on Dean. You make your way to his room. You step into the door casing and take in the room. The whiskey bottle he left with lies empty on the floor. You see him just laying there staring at the ceiling. You lightly wrap on the open door.

“What do you want?” he asks knowing it is you just from the smell of your perfume. It's a new fragrance, and obviously more expensive then what you used to wear. He assumes it's a gift from Mr. Spangly pants.

“Dean,” you say softly stepping into his room. You are about to close the door, but then think twice of it and leaving it partially open. You want to ensure that you are not sending the wrong message. This hint of privacy gets Deans attention despite your efforts the almost closed door gives him hope. He sits up a grin forming on his face.

“So, you’re coming back home...to me, huh. The captain not doing it for you.” He half smirks at you, a flirty tone in his voice.

“Dean...I came to talk.” You say standing by his desk arms crossed in front of you. He would normally sit on the bed by him but you don't. You keep your distance.not wanting to give him the wrong idea nay more than you already have. “Can’t you just come to join us? We’re playing poker.”

Dean just sighs, then pats the bed next to him. You oblige, moving to sit on the bed. He moves to sit next to you, his thigh rubbing against yours. “Y/N. I just don’t get it. When you left, it was because you wanted “normal”. I get that. I even tried that once myself." He looked off for a moment lost in the memory. “But the Avengers? That is the farthest from normal you can get. It’s like being with us, but with the government funding.” You couldn’t help but laugh. 

Dean looked at you frustrated. You were laughing at him. He is trying to make a point, but the effect of hearing your laughter after all this time. He can’t help but smile. Your laughter melting the anger out of his heart. “I missed you.” He says to you, the reality of things sinking back in as you stop laughing.

“Dean, I have a different life now.” You remind him.

“I know.” He sighs then asks. “Are you happy?”

“Yes, I am.”

He nods thinking you are talking about being with Steve but really you are talking about your work and life with the Avengers. “Com’ere,” he says, holding his arms out to you. You move into them. He holds you close to him. You take in the smell of whiskey, leather, and motor oil filling. You relish in the familiarity for a minute before pulling away. “Dean, I need to get back to the rest of them.”

“You mean back to him...don’t you” he grumbles. And just like that, the truce is fractured.

“I mean them! The OTHER PEOPLE I came to see.” You start to get up off the bed and he grabs your hand stopping you. “DEAN!” You say loudly laughing at the same time losing your footing and falling into his arms.

“Oh, I know sweetheart." He smiles at your situation. "Ya don’t have to push yourself on me. I'm right here.” He quips. You push yourself off him, adjusting your shirt and jacket, as you turn to head for the door. Halfway to the door, you feel him grab your arm and spin you around. He is right there. You can feel his breath on your lips. Before you can register what was happening, his lips crash into yours. You are shocked at first but give in to the kiss. It feels familiar, like home. The feeling lasts only a moment before your brain kicks in. You push him away and smack him across the face.

“Dean...” you sigh shaking your head turning and walking out of the room. Steve had seen it all the exchange between you and Dean, or so he thought. 

Steve hears voices on his way to find you in the bathroom, recognizing one as yours he goes to find you. Steve stops at the door when he hears you laughing. He stops himself from running in and keeps listening. He knows this is wrong, but he needs to know what is going on between you and Dean. 

He hears Dean say something about going back to him, then your response quickly followed by a shriek and laugh while you say his name. Steve grits his teeth. Dean says something about you being on him. Now Steve needs to see what the hell is happening. 'Do I need to step in?' He thinks as he looks through the crack of the door. He sees laying on him on a bed. Steve fights hard not to walk away. He's been caught in compromising positions before and knows not to judge things at first impression. He watches you get up to leave and feels relief build up in him. Then he sees Dean grab you spinning you around and him kissing you. He fights the need to go into the room. But he is trying to let you handle this yourself, so waits for you to push Dean away but you don’t. He sees all he needs to see and stalks away. He knows he has no right to be angry with you. You were not committed to each other. He is trying to calm himself before he reaches the War room. Sam enters the room at the same time with beers. He takes his seat again. Reaching for his beer, nodding thanks to Sam who nods back, and drinks most of it in one swift motion. Sam cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Everything okay?” Sam asks Steve.

“Yeah. Fine. Y/N should be out in a minute,” Steve hesitates to take another swig of his beer. He is wishing for the first time, in a long time, that he could feel the effects of alcohol. Steve looks to Cas and sees the angel looking at him. Cas' eyes are squinting and his head tilted. Steve looks back and Cas quickly drops his gaze.

“Hey, did you start without us?” Dean calls from the hall. You and Dean emerge from the hall and make your way to the table. You pull your chair out, retaking your seat next to Steve, picking up your cards.

“Well yeah…” Sam says, giving Dean bitch face. “You weren't here jerk!” 

Steve looks to Sam this interaction bringing back memories of himself and Bucky.

“Bitch” Dean replies with a smirk and a wink to you as he takes a seat at the head of the table. Dean looks around for a moment. Then says. “After this hand, why don’t we take this to the “Man Cave.” There’s an actual poker table there.” He suggests.

“Actually, I think we need to go after this hand” Steve answers back before you can reply. “Long trip and all.”

You look to Steve knowing damn well it wasn’t a long trip. You’ve seen him stay up for 36 hours before without needing much sleep. So, you knew he wasn’t tired. Despite this, you follow his cue. You can tell he is just uncomfortable, especially after what happened between Dean and him earlier. Dean was not one for apologies. Dean's offer to continue the night in his 'Man Cave" was the best apology Steve was going to get from him.

You decide to ask Steve about what was going through his head after you got back to the B&B.

“Steve, let me finish my beer first, then we’ll go. Okay?” Steve shoots you a look but then softens. 

"Ok" he replies softly as you grab his hand and give it a squeeze before letting in favor of your beer. The moment wasn’t lost on Dean, but Dean keeps quiet. You were back and talking to him again, he didn’t want to ruin that.

“So…” you look to your cards. Then up at the guys. “Let’s get this going, bitches.” You sass. The guys all laugh except for Steve who just holds his cards very tightly willing you to hurry up and drink your beer.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam is walking you out to Steve’s bike with Cas trailing. Once you get to breathe in the fresh air, and then you look up to realize it has gotten dark. The stars twinkling in the sky and the full moon are the only things lighting up the night. Steve says goodnight to Sam and Cas before crossing to his bike. You hear him getting it started and waiting for you.

 

The bike not lost on Sam, he raises an eyebrow to you and you smirk. Sam shakes his head pulling ya in for a hug. “Captain America on a Harley. Never thought.” He whispers in your ear holding you tight. You stay for a moment before you pull away not wanting Steve to have to wait too long, plus you knew Cas was waiting for a hug as well. Sam steps back looking at you and nods. “We need to get together again before you leave.” He reminds you and you nod. Then you turn to Cas who is standing watching you with his hands in his coat pockets. You never understood how a man could be that adorkable and yet one of the most powerful beings you know.

 

“Cas” You motion for him to come to you as Sam heads to the door. You pull him in for a hug holding to him as tightly as you can. You want to try to remember everything about his embrace, the tenderness of it. The way he treats you like a fragile seashell and smells of the early morning ocean air. You sigh knowing you must let go. You sigh letting go stepping back.

 

Cas moves in and you panic for a moment thinking he is going to kiss you again, this time in front of Steve, but he just whispers in your ear.

 

“You look beautiful when you’re happy.” Your heart flutters and a tear fall as you know he just acknowledged that you are finding happiness with another man.

 

You step back, his hand still in yours as you walk away, holding it as long as you can, only letting go once your fingertips no longer touch. You are about to turn away when you see Dean watching from the door. You wave at Dean then turn away, walking to the bike. Getting on you turn to the bunker waving one last time. Seeing Dean is the only one there. The unmistakable look of hurt on his face watching Steve driving away with your arms firmly wrapped around the waist. You bury your face in Steves back avoiding the pain you would see on Dean's face.

 

When you get back to the B&B town, it is past dinner time. The two of you go out for some take-out at a local diner, getting it then heading to the B&B. The trip back is terribly quiet. You're wondering what is going on with Steve. You decide to wait to ask him once you get back to the B&B.

You bring in the two chocolate shakes, while Steve grabs the bag of burgers and fries. He Juggles the key unlocking the door to your room, he steps aside and you rush ahead into the room. Your hands are cold from holding the shakes. You turn to Steve who stands in the entryway with the food. A look on his face telling you he wants to say something but is unsure how to begin. You sit at the small table that is positioned in front of the door and motion for him to sit across from you. You take a sip of your shake. Steve hands you, you're bacon cheese as he sets down his California burger. He pushes the bag aside with the fries still in it.

 

You sit for another long moment in silence, waiting for him to say something. He doesn’t, he just studies the floor. So, you decide to start. "Steve is everything ok? You got really quiet after I got back from the bathroom?” Steve just looks at you, taking a bit of his sandwich and stays silent. “Did someone say something to you?” you push.

 

Steve swallows his bite as you take your first. The burger was amazing and silently you remind yourself to thank Sam for the suggestion. “No,” he says looking at you. Then takes another bite. You just look at him. He is hiding something, and it is starting to piss you off. You decide to just finish your food and talk to him once you were settled in. Both of you eat in silence.

 

After you finish eating, Steve decides to take a shower. You hop onto the bed turning on the tv waiting for your turn. Just as Steve goes into the bathroom your phone rings. You look down seeing that it is Dean. You take a deep breath before answering.

 

“Hey, Dean.” You try to keep it light even though you are worried that he is going to try to push what happened earlier.

 

“Hey.” He replies. You wait as he says nothing.

 

After a few moments you decide to try to get his attention, “Dean we're on your dime here.” You say reminding him he called you.  
“Yeah…Its just good to hear your voice.” He replies.

 

Just as you are about to say it was nice to see him too Steve pokes his head out of the bathroom. “Y/N, can you grab my shampoo? It's in the grey bag in my suitcase.”

 

'Shit,' you silently curse. “Yeah Steve, hang on.” You shuffle the phone your shoulder as you dig in his bag finding the grey bag quickly. Compliments of military-trained packing.

 

You walk it over to him. Handing him the bag He sees that you’re on the phone and doesn’t need to guess who. Then he gets an idea.

 

“Thanks, doll,” He says close to the phone and kisses you on the check next to the ear that has a phone attached to it. You almost drop the phone in shock as he closes the door.

 

'Dean!!' You know he had to have heard that. “Hey sorry about that.” You say casually into the phone trying to pretend it was nothing. Dean, however, reading into it way more than need to be.

 

“Oh Yeah,” Dean spits out. “Nothing going on there!” he is shouting through the phone at you. “You’re sharing A ROOM, Y/N.”

 

“Yeah so did we back in the day!” you spat back at him, realizing after the fact. that it really didn’t help your case any.

 

“We were together then!” he spits back at you.

 

“No, we weren’t! Are you delusional?”

 

“Well we should have been!” he blurts out before he catches himself. There is a long pause then he says quietly “I wanted us to be.”

 

You don’t know what you say to that, so you say nothing. You sit in silence trying to just process what is going on. Everything you thought you knew about Dean and your relationship with him was apparently wrong. All your relationships with the guys that you had left behind, were not what you thought you they were, you realize.

 

“Dean, we never would have worked.” You try to tell him. In your heart, you weren’t so sure about that then, but now you knew you had no feelings for him anymore.

 

“You don’t know that.” He says quietly, the sound of surrender in his voice.

 

“Dean, I can’t do this, not tonight. Goodnight.” You say hanging up. You turn to see Steve standing in the doorway. His eyes locked on you. You look down at the phone in your hand then back up to him. “How much did you hear?” you ask. You really didn't want to care at this point, you were emotionally drained. You wanted a shower and then bed. You were ready for this day to be over.

 

“Enough.” is all Steve says, walking across the room to you, pulling you into his arms. You take refuge in the feel of his arms. The warmth and the smell of his body wash filling you with comfort. You realize your hands are touching flesh you remember that all he is wearing is a towel. You look down for a moment, the situation finally registering in your mind. You look up and you see Steve looking down at you. His eyes are soft and understanding. Time freezes as you feel electricity fill your stomach. You want to just reach up and capture those lips with yours, but you don’t want to make Steve uncomfortable. After another second you look away, only for him to gently grab your chin turn it towards him, doing what you are afraid of. He puts his lips to yours. The kiss is soft sweet loving and made every part of your body sing. It is over just as quickly as it began, and you take a second before you open your eyes to look into his. A smile on his face reaching his eyes and you feel another brief jolt of excitement.

 

“That was perfect,” You say in a whisper. Beginning to mentally kick yourself.

 

“It was.” He agrees. He leans in giving you another quick peck on the lips. You move your hands around his neck and are about to pull him in for another kiss. He breaks the moment by smacking you on the ass. You jump and squeal and the new side of him “Go take your shower.” He says to you. You smile feeling the blush fill your face as you gather your things and run into the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean stomps into the war room looking for Cas. “Sam! Where is Cas?” he asks trying to control his anger. 

 

“Umm…I think he’s in the stacks somewhere, why?. We may have a case... ”

 

“Because I need to talk to his feathery ass! That’s why!” Dean offers as an excuse or a reason. Sam shrugs his shoulders, deciding to stay out of it. He looks back to his laptop continuing his research on the possible coven that has moved into town. Probably in search of the tombs he and Dean have stowed away a couple of months back. Sam looks up one last time, as Dean storms off down the hall, to find Cas.

 

Cas is sitting in your old room, in his hand, an old picture of the four of you at the local pub in town. It was a happier time. Before the leviathans, before Sam being taken over by Lucifer, and when God was still a mystery, not a writer named Chuck. He was happy then. He was in charge of keeping you safe, while Sam and Dean hunted. The two of you did research together. He remained on call for truly bad spots or quick heals. It is during these times when he had first discovered his feelings for you. Looking at that picture he longs for those times again.

 

“Those were the good times, weren’t they?” Cas hears Deans voice over his shoulder.

 

He puts the picture back on the nightstand. “Yeah, they were,” he agrees.

 

“Cas, I need the truth.” Dean sits on the bed beside him. "Can you give me that?"

 

“Of course, Dean,” Cas responds tiling his head in classic Castiel fashion.

 

“Do you love her?” Cas’s head whips to face Dean. And there it is, the proverbial elephant. Two best friends in love with the same girl.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Cas replies. Deans head drops knowing the answer right there. “She is destined to be with another.” He finishes mimicking Dean’s posture.

 

“Captain Asshat…. Yeah, I figure that.” He concedes then is hit with a sudden thought. “Cas. She told me there was nothing going, between her and spangles.”

 

“There isn’t…. Yet.” he grounds out. He knows the road that Dean is trying to go down and it will only end with another month of binge drinking, and at least 3 or 4 trips to Johnny’s pub for him to drag Dean home before he gets into a bar fight.

 

“So, there is a chance?” Deans voice is hopeful and Cas knows he needs to dampen that hope.

 

“Dean…They are attracted to each other. Their heart rates increase by 5 beats a minute when they are near each other, their pupils dilate, and she glows whenever he touches her.” Cas looks to him sternly. “Are you really going to cause her more pain to satisfy your own selfish needs?”

 

Dean looks at Cas, his mind racing to find a scenario where he doesn’t look like an asshole, “...but…” he pauses trying to find anything to rebut this. After a few moments, he sighs in defeat. “Not I guess not.” They sit in silence for a few long moments. The Dean turns to Cas. “If she weren’t with him, would you have tried?” he looks to Cas seriously.

 

Cas seems to give this some serious consideration. Then after some thought, he looks at the wall and states simply. “I think that I would have to let her make that choice.” Dean just nods. They both sit in silence, again.

 

Dean gets up, looking to Cas, who also looks up to him. “I’m going to get a drink.” Cas just nods, looking back to the floor. Dean walks to the door, pauses with his hand on the door casing. Turning back to Cas he says simply. “Don’t count us out yet.” He says then leaves.

 

Cas doesn’t respond or even lookup. If Cas did, Dean would see Cas give a half-smirk in agreement. If there is one thing he knows about Y/N. It is that if she is committed to something she is completely committed. When she left tonight, he saw the longing in her eyes, she wanted to stay. The way they parted was akin to something he had read in a romance novel. He knows the connection is still there. He just needs to let her decide. Just like he decided not to tell Dean what he saw in her tonight.

 

“Steve, maybe we can catch something on TV?” You say as you step out of the bathroom towel drying your hair. You freeze. Steve is lying on the bed, shirtless, with a thin pair of dark blue pajama pants on, hands resting behind his head which is resting against a pile of pillows. The pillows propping him up just enough to give you an excellent view of his very chiseled and very tempting physique. He smiles at you knowingly catching you staring. You quickly advert your eyes to the nightstand next to your side of the bed. "We apparently have all the movie channels. I’m sure we can find something that is on your must-see list."

 

You move over to the bed and then sit down next to Steve. You feel ridiculous next to him, in your spaghetti strap tank top and yoga pants, you suddenly feel overdressed. As you move onto the bed you realize that Steve’s position left little choice but for you to sit very close to him. Normally, the closeness would not bother you. The two of you often relaxed with each other in very “cozy” ways as Nat would say. Usually occurring on the rare nights when the group did movies, or you and Steve had time to catch some time to watch Netflix. Most of the time, however, you went home to the apartment Cas set up for you.

 

Once you are situated you reach for the remote. It is laying on your side of the bed on the stand. Once you get it you start flipping through the channels. Steve comments on a few options you offer. You finally settle on a rerun of a tv show you both have gotten invested in. You lean over to place the remote back onto the stand and return to your upright position to find Steve has put his arm behind you. Without saying a word, you cuddle into his chest, watching the show while listening to his heartbeat. This has put you to sleep several times in the past, the steady thump, thump, thump, of his heartbeat, is soothing. This time is no different and you fall asleep before the show is even over.

 

You wake the next morning hearing Steve shuffling round on the other side of the door and quickly brush your teeth and hair in an attempt to make yourself somewhat presentable. Once done you head back out to the main room. Steve is still there, in all his shirtless glory. And you smile for a moment but are suddenly distracted by the growl of your stomach. You instinctively put a hand to cover it and Steve notices it too. “Breakfast is buffet style, downstairs in about...” he looks to his watch. “15 minutes.” He gives this some thought then adds. “I’m gonna try to get a quickie in before breakfast,” he says.

 

Your eyes go wide, 'Did he just say what I think he said.', you ask yourself. Steve is looking at you, confusion on his face. 'Say something!' You yell in your mind at yourself, but all that comes out is “ummm”

 

“Did you wanna go first?”

 

“Ummm”

 

“Ladies first…” he gestures to the bathroom. You look over your shoulder then back to him this time the corner of your eye catches the open suitcase on the bed and clothing on the bed next to it along with toiletries. You feel absolutely dumb. He is talking about a shower. Your face turns red.

 

“No, you go ahead. I need to get my stuff together first.”

 

He grabs his stuff off the bed and walks to you, he smiles at you briefly, leans down to your ear and whispers. “I’m taking my time with you.” And walks past you into the bathroom. You stand there in jaw dropped as the door quietly closes behind you. 'Did that just happen?" You choose to forget the fact that you had, just a moment ago, felt completely embarrassed. 

 

You decide to focus on the fact that Steve seemed to sense what you were thinking, and he is ok with it, in a way. This thought haunts you the rest of the day. You and Steve spend the morning exploring the town. You stop in at a few shops in the town and just getting yourself reacquainted with the town. Not much has changed in the year you have spent gone. You and Steve are about to grab lunch when your phone rings. "It’s Sam," you say to Steve.

 

“Hey Sam,” you smile looking to Steve. Steve nods and continues just sitting on the bench in the park you are relaxing in.

 

"Hey…You busy?”

 

“No, Why?”

 

“Well, I was thinking maybe we could all grab lunch?” His voice hitches and rises very slightly in the end. You know this habit.

 

“Sam…” You know there is something more behind this than just lunch.

 

“I…I just knew you were in town this week and I have a possible case.” He pauses for a moment gaging your response, then hurries on talking faster to defending himself. “It may be nothing, but I just wanted you to look at it.”

 

“No, Sam. You want me to help you out. You think that getting me involved with a case will get me to stay.” You say to him. Letting him know that you know what his scheme is. You see Steve turn towards you instantly. His expression turns to a mixture of worry and anger.

 

You hear Sam sigh, visualize him running his hand through his hair as he decides to come clean. “Dean wanted me to call you.” You can see him shaking his head as he pauses. “I’m sorry, but I could use another set of eyes on this. It is definitely a case, but the circumstances seem different, unlike anything we had faced in the past.”

 

“Fine Sam, but only because you told me the truth.” You turn to Steve and even though he says nothing you can tell he is worried about your getting into a dire situation. “But I am only looking at the stuff you have right now. I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED.” You tell him sternly. Steve settles back on the bench a smug look on his face and his arm finds its way down your back, his hand resting on your lower back. The touch and the look he's giving you, makes you suddenly want to go back on your threat to Sam. You don’t really want to get involved with the case, but you don’t want Steve treating you like a porcelain doll wither. “Where are we meeting for lunch?” You look to Steve smiling, secretly scheming how to make it look like it is Sam’s idea for you to go on this hunt.

 

The diner is a short distance out of town and seemed to be older looking like a small older home turned into a cafe. Steve pulls the bike into the lot, slowing considerably, to keep the dust from rising too much. There are three other cars in the lot. Two you assume were for café workers, being as they were parked on the far side of the gravel lot by the dumpster and the Impala. Baby is parked on the far side of the front entrance.

 

As Steve pulls the bike up to the other near side of the entrance you look into the window and see Dean watching you pull up. Your eyes meet his and you see hurt there. You feel guilty for being with Steve, but then remind yourself you have no reason to feel anything but anger at him. Dean is trying to drag you back into hunting. Once the bike comes to a stop you hop off the bike and step aside to wait for Steve. He puts the stand down as he gets off the bike pulling you to him in a soft embrace. He leans his head down to our ear as if someone else would hear. “You okay?” he asks pulling back to look into your eyes. He can momentarily see the truth in them to see the truth in them.

 

“Yeah, I’m just going to see what’s what and offer what help I can.” You smile. You are trying to hide the discomfort you are feeling. You can feel the eyes you know are focused on the back of your head. Steve looks up for a moment, then ducks down to you, kissing you briefly. 

 

“Ok.” He grabs your hand, and you walk to the door of the dinner together, knowing that this situation has just become a lot for complicated. What was supposed to be a simple meeting to discuss a case, has become a battle of wills; at least for you and Dean.

 

Steve holds the door for you as you step into the café. There is a small smattering of tables, no booths, but it has a quaint grandma's kitchen complete ambiance, with its various pictures containing framed sayings and other such items. There are fake flowers next to the register that is situated at the end of the 4-person bar. The bars sits in front of the service window leading to the kitchen. There are two large countertop cases, full of various pies, and a hand-written sign hanging between them reading Best Pie For Three States. You smile, 'No wonder Dean picked this place.' you think as you smile to yourself. 

 

You move to the table in the corner near an old rock-a-loa jukebox. Sam turns to see you and smiles from the closer side of the table his laptop open in front of him. Dean sits across from him staring at you, a mix of irritation and anxiety on his face. You look for Cas but don’t see him. You grab the chair next to Sam giving him a hug then taking your seat. Steve grabs a chair from another table sitting on the end of the table, as far away from Dean as possible. You make a mental note to try to get these two to at least try to be civil to each other, meaning get Dean to apologize in his own way for being an ass to Steve.

 

“So...what you got?” You ask Sam. You see Steve grabs a menu. Your stomach grumbles at the reminder that neither of you had eaten since that morning, and it was now closing in on late afternoon. “Can you get me a burger, fries, and coke, please?” You smile at Steve. Steve nods at you, still looking through the menu. You are sure he is deciding how much he can order without looking like a total glutton. With his metabolism, he gives Thor a run for his money.

 

Sam looks at Steve, then you. Sam deciding that you can fill Steve in later if you want to or if he needs info. “Well, here’s what I have, three women all disappeared in the last two weeks, all of them from different towns, but they all were last seen leaving one bar. Shep’s, it’s a small out of the way place. We already checked it out, and according to the bartender they all left with a guy, but she didn’t have much of a description beyond tall, light brown or blonde hair and somewhat good looking.” He paused looking at Dean who is still giving Steve a stare down.

 

Dean looks to Sam after hearing he has stopped talking, Sam gives him bitchface. You can tell Dean is about to say something, but the waitress arrives at the table. Dean turns to just looks out the window. “So, I see everyone must be here, can I get you’ll some drinks to start?” She smiles at everyone, winking at Steve who immediately flushes, then looks to you. You just smile, Steve is a very attractive man and you know girls notice, but you also know all of Steve’s affections are reserved for one girl at a time, that girl at the moment being you. It is these old-fashioned values that attracts you to the idea of seeking something more for him.

 

Dean of course also notices the wink, and not to be overlooked as well as in an attempt to get you jealous speaks up. “Yeah, sweetheart, I see that you have the best pies in three states. Is that true?” he flashes his sinfully devilish grin, and you almost feel the waitress swoon.

 

“We sure do, interested?”

 

“Oh, you have no idea!” he says back. You notice this last comment is not directed at the waitress, but at you. You look at Sam’s laptop, trying to avoid his stare. You are not the only one who notices it though. Steve also notices it. You hear his teeth grind a bit and feel his hand softly but firmly grab yours. The move startles you for a moment, but then you turn back to Sam’s laptop wanting to pretend this power struggle is not happening.

 

“We’ll have a bacon cheeseburger extra bacon, fries and a large coke for her,” Steve nods towards you. The waitress nods, and you can see her shot a look between the two of you. You turn and smile at her, smug in knowing that Steve just basically told her to move on. “And for me, I'll have the monster burger, a chef salad, and a strawberry shake.”

 

Dean’s and Sam’s head both spin to look as Steve eyes wide. You just giggle, it was amazing how much Steve ate. You were actually surprised that he didn’t order an appetizer and dessert on top of the order. “And how about you?” the waitress you notice is named Callie asks Sam.

 

“Oh, uh, a chef salad sounds good...and a water.”

 

“Can you bring a pitcher of water actually?” Steve adds realizing that water sounded good. “Thank you, miss.” Steve smiles and hands the menu’s back to her.

 

“Hey, I still need my pie,” Dean reminds the table, irritated that he lost her attention again. “Do you have cherry pie?” he asks.

 

Callie blushes. “Yes, we do.”

 

“Great!” Dean claps and then rubs his hands together. “Give me one of those, and a slice of apple too please.” He finished with a wink. The waitress nods and walks away to place your orders.

 

“Sam, I am not sure what to say. It might not be anything. It sounds like it just might be girls looking for a good time and then feeling guilty after..." You start to say.

 

"...and not returning to the scene of the crime,” Dean adds you don't miss that it is a jab at you returning here.

 

You are slightly disappointed by this possibly not being a case, but it is what it is.

 

“That’s what I thought too until I got a call from Jody,” Sam states tiring to redirect the conversation.

 

“And…" you urge him on.

 

“According to the description. This same man did this same thing in Sioux Falls, last month. Jody thought the same thing you and Dean do until she found the bodies,” Sam stops pulling up crime scene images on his laptop. You move closer to see them. “Okay, yeah that is not humanly possible.”

 

“Y/N” Steve looks at you. You look to Sam who has a grimace on his face but nods. You motion Steve over. He moves over to you to stand in behind you and Sam wrapping. Steve's arm resting on the back of your chair. He stands there for a moment looking at the photos. Sam expects a gasp or some reaction to the gore, but then he remembers Steve fought in WWII then again against Hydra, and another against aliens, this is amateur hour for him. “That had to take someone with tremendous strength.” Steve comments. He thinks for a moment. “The only thing I know who could do that kind of damage to a person is Banner or Banner's other half. Banner has him pretty well under control. Not to mention that I think people would remember a 20 ft green man running around.”

 

“Well, we can think of about 6 or 7 things that can do this. Our money for the moment is on shifter, werewolf, or vampire.” Dean retorts leaning back, crossing his arms smugly.

 

“Dean, it can’t be a werewolf. The kills are over a two-week span.” you remind him.

 

“Oh yeah, since you’ve been gone, we found out that pure-blood wolves can change anytime,” Sam says quietly from your left. He quickly closes the laptop as the waitress approaches, She has Steve’s and Sam’s salads as well as both slices of Dean’s pie.

 

Sam puts the laptop away then he grabs a fork for his salad. Steve looks guilty for a moment about eating without you. He grabs his fork and spears all the cucumber slices from his salad and hands the fork to you. You try to figure out what he is doing.

 

"I know you're hungry, here take it. You always steal my cucumbers anyway." He smiles at you. You smile at him in thanks, grabbing the fork. Smiling while munching on the cucumbers. Dean just watches the exchange and scoffs. Sam simply smiles at the sweet gesture from Steve.

 

After a few minutes, the rest of the food comes. Dean takes one look at Steve’s Burger and orders one with onion rings as well. You and Sam get involved in a deep conversation about any trace marks on the bodies but are still stumped. You are finishing eating when you hear the bell on the door ring. Dean begins waving someone over, you turn looking over your right shoulder and see Cas. You jump up to greet him with a big hug. He hugs you back tightly.

 

“Dean, Sam, Steve.” You hear him greet each person as he holds you. You let him go and sit back down resuming your conversation with Sam. “There is only one way we’re gonna find this guy. I go in as bait.”

 

“What!!!” Sam’s head whipping in your direction.

 

“Y/N” You hear Cas’s disapproving voice.

 

Steve recovers from his shock, his fork hitting the plate. He grabs your arm pulling you out of your chair, almost knocking it over. He moves away from the table pulling you over to the small hall leading to a back entrance. The other men are watching the scene from the table not wanting to interfere.

 

Dean smiling slightly, knowing that Steve just pushed you further away from him. If there was one thing Dean was positive of when it came to you; it is that you did not like being told what to do. But even more so you definitely did not like being told what not to do something. He continues eating and smiling. The pull s over his second slice of pie waiting as Steve pushes you right into his arms.

 

“Steve! What is wrong with you?” you hiss at him.

 

“You Are NOT Playing Bait to some MONSTER!”

 

“Since when can you give me orders?” You are pissed.

 

Your venomous tone sobers Steve for a moment. He realizes how he is coming across. “I’m not…I just think this is dangerous. You are putting yourself at risk. You saw those photos,” he points to the table where Cas and Sam are watching the two of you. You can see they are trying to figure out what you and Steve were saying. “Is that what you want to happen to you? Because I sure don’t! I already lost one person I love! I can’t lose you too.”

 

Your eyes go wide. You look into Steve's eyes a mixture of hope and fear there. “Steve…did you just…” You fight to form words.

 

“Uhh.” He is looking down at the floor. His hands drop from your arms. His entire posture shifts from complete confidence to uncertainty in a matter of seconds. “I didn’t want to say it that way.” He looks to you and takes your hands in his. "I was thinking a nice dinner off on a quiet walk, or maybe while we are alone watching a film.” His voice gaining more confidence, and he chuckles. “But hey, I guess saving you from yourself is a good time to.” He looks back at you smiling. You are smiling back at him for a second. After a moment it occurs to you, Steve probably wants an answer.

 

“Hey umm…I.” 

 

Steve pulls your hands towards him, effectively pulling you to him, and then he reaches to pull you face close to his. “Y/N, I know…You have this bond with him.” He nods his head to the team. “And it’s…complicated.” You nod, a sad look on your face. “I didn’t say it to get a response." Steve thinks for a second. “I didn’t mean to say it at all, actually.” You smile at his confession. He is caught up in your smile leaning in and giving you a soft sensual kiss.

 

At your table, Sam coughs softly, trying to cover the smirk on his face. Cas looks down at the paper placemat. He realizes that you are more conflicted then he had originally thought. Dean, however, is not so subtle in his reaction; looking over his shoulder he expects to see an argument. What he does see; is you and Steve kissing. His heart drops in his chest. The pain mixes with anger and disappointment.

 

"Awesome,” Dean says sarcastically, the disdain dripping off his voice. Sam coughs louder stifling a chuckle. He hates seeing Dean suffer over his feelings for you, but also thinks it will be the push Dean needs to finally be more open about his feelings for you.

 

“Dean,” Cas says quietly his gravelly voice drawing Deans attention away from the narrow hall. Once Cas has Dean’s attention he continues. “Dean, Y/N has moved on. We both knew she would.” Cas reaches out to console him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Dean shrugs it off glaring at the angel. He runs his hand over his face, throwing a twenty on the table and abruptly gets up leaving the café.

 

You watch as Dean leaves out of the corner of your eye. “Hey, let’s get back to the group. We'll figure something out. I promise I’ll be ok. These guys are EXCEPTIONALLY good at their job. They are like Nat, they grew up hunting, their dad taught them. They will not let anything happen to me, I promise.” You reassure him as giving his hand a squeeze.

 

“Ok...” Relenting, he moves in kissing your forehead. “But you are not doing this alone. I am going to be there." You can tell Steve doesn’t like the idea, but he knows that you have done this before you came to New York, so he lets himself trust you. Besides the idea of seeing you in action was making him feel even more attracted to you.

 

“Cas, where did Dean go?”

 

“He wanted to get a start on the case.” Sam jumps in. Cas gives him an odd look and you immediately know that Sam is lying but let it go. Whatever Dean’s problem is it didn’t need to be yours. You sit back down by Sam. You look across the table at Cas, catching his eyes with yours. Cas nods knowing the look, you want to talk to him later and this is fine with him he wants to talk to you too.

 

Just as you are about to tell the group your plan Callie stops by the table. “Did we need separate checks…or?” she waits for a response, her eyes stopping on Steve. She smiles again.

 

“One check is fine!” you grit out getting irritated with Callie and her flirting, but more so with Dean. His behavior since you got back is really starting to piss you off. You just need to vent, and Callie drew the short straw.

 

Callie doesn't seem to notice your tone. She continues looking at Steve. “I’m sorry to stare,” she says sweetly. “But are you Captain America?”

 

Steve blushes and you know it is from being recognized, not because of Callie. Callie seems to think if is from the later, however. “Yeah, ma’am. I am,” he says shyly.

 

“Oh my God…” she gushes. "Can I get your autograph! Oh, wait! Hang on.” She rushes away.

 

Sam starts to laugh. “Wow…Do a lot of girls...fangirl over you like that?” he looks impressed. You notice Cas, however, is looking at you, studying your reaction.

 

“A little,” Steve says sheepishly. “But I already have my eye on someone.” Steve's eyes move to you. You smile. What Sam doesn't notice is your eyes are locked on Cas’. Steve notices this but ignores it.

 

“Here. Please sign this for me” Callie is back shoving a t-shirt in Steve’s face. “To Callie…” she adds as if she forgot she has a name badge on. Steve smiles grabbing the marker from her and signs the shirt handing it back to her. She squeals clutching it to her chest. “My friends are going to be so jealous.” She blurts out. Before anyone can react, she is hugging Steve.

 

Steve is not falling for a fangirl. He had integrity, morals, and well taste, but you can’t help but feel a particular realization hit you. This is what you are up against. If you want a life with Steve, this is a part of that life. The idea makes your heart sink.

 

Finally, Callie leaves with her new prize. Sam, Cas, Steve, and you formulate a plan to ensure you get the attention of the thing you're hunting. You feel really good about the plan, agreeing to meet at the bunker. The plan is to head to Shep's at 10:30.

 

That night you walk into the bunker with Steve in tow. You could not find anything in the clothes you brought with that screamed come hither, so you just threw on Jeans and a spaghetti strap tank top with a blue flannel shirt. You are planning on going through what clothes you left behind thinking you'll find something there. You could tell Steve is not completely on board with the plan, but he is submitting to you, knowing this is something you've done before, much to his discomfort.

 

Sam is the first to see you. He smiles and waves at you both. Then he turns back to his weapons continuing to go over his weapons again. They are preparing for anything, being as the culprit was still not named. “Hey Sam!” you call out to him. As you get down the steps.

 

Cas hears your voice pulling him from the adjoining library. “Y/N” his voice draws you to him. “Are we ready?” you ask him. He looks at you, a quizzical look comes over his face.

 

“Y/N. This is not what you usually wear when you, 'Play bait'." he air quotes the last part.

 

“WHAT!!!” Steve exclaims. Sam puts his hands up to try to assure Steve that you were fine. "You've used her as 'bait' before?"

 

You feel Steve glaring at you but ignore him. 'It's too late to turn back now.' You say to yourself. “I know, I guess I didn’t pack my “'come get me outfits.'” you air quote back at him playfully.

 

“We packed the rest of the things you left up. They are in storage. I can show you” Cas answers. You nod, he grabs your hand. You both disappear with the sound of fluttering wings. Steve is about to go after you when Sam puts a hand on his arm.

 

“They just went to storage,” Sam informs him.

 

“They just disappeared.” Steve pauses as if trying to figure out a puzzle. “Is Cas an enhanced?”

 

“Kinda,” Sam smiles. He had the same reaction the first time Cas popped up out of nowhere. "He’s an angel. As in the biblical sense.”

 

Steve finds himself needing to sit down. “Oh” Is all he can say. Taking a minute to wrap his head around this new information, wondering why you hadn’t told him yourself that you were friends with an angel. “So…” he tries to find the words. “Angels…Does that mean”

 

“Yeah” Sam replies. Already knowing where this is going. “God, Lucifer, demons, prophets…all real.” Steve nods, letting himself absorb this. He always believed there was a God, It was one thing to believe and the next thing to see visible proof. “Oh and fun fact. God likes to go by Chuck, and he has a Sister named Amara.”

 

That gets Steve’s attention. “What?”

 

“Oh yeah, it was a whole thing.” Sam sits across from Steve. “Apparently “Chuck” was writing our stories. Dean and I. They are some prophecy or something like that.” Steve sits back on the couch. Not sure what to believe anymore. This is all getting to be too much for him. But then he reminds himself that he did fight a bunch of aliens from another galaxy, alongside a Norse god, and a very large green man who is about two stories tall. Reality had become subjective the day he went into the ice all that time ago and came out alive60 plus years later.

 

“So God...Chuck is an author?” Steve is trying to understand what he is hearing.

 

“Yeah, well he had a pen name, Carver Edlund. But he’s gone now. He and his sister went off to sort out family matters.”

 

Steve just looks at Sam. This was all sounding even more fantastic as he hears it. " God is gone?" Well, that explains a lot." he mutters the last part to himself.

 

“Amara, Chuck's sister, caused a lot of issues with Dean and Y/N. She had a thing for Dean and well Y/N was not happy about it.” Sam looks down, shaking his head at the memory of that nightmare.

 

“Wait!” Steve puts his hand, up motioning Sam to stop. “God’s sister has a crush on Dean?”

 

“Yeah” Sam answered. “She said they had a connection.” Sam looks up at Steve. “It was all very strange really.”

 

Steve just sat there, unsure what to think. 'What did this guy have that drew every female to him?' Steve asks himself. Knowing God’s sister is attracted to Dean. The thought was intimidating to Steve. How could he compete with that?

 

They both sit in silence, Sam rechecking the weapons, Steve in silent contemplation, hands neatly folded in his lap like a boy waiting for his date.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cas zaps you to your old room. It was exactly as you had left it. You look around and notice the picture frame you left by the bed had been moved the small dust imprint visible, letting you know it was moved recently. You pick the picture up. Looking at it, the memories it provides making you feel a tang of guilt for how you left. Cas sits on the bed next to you. “We didn’t want to move anything in case you decided to come back.”

 

“We?” you look to him questioningly.

 

“Dean and I, mostly, but Sam ultimately decided to lock the door. He felt it would help avoid the pain it was causing Dean. We all missed you soo much Y/N”

 

“You could have come to see me. You knew where I was.” Your eyes meet his and at that moment you knew the truth. They didn’t come because Cas never told them where you were.

 

“I wanted you to get a fresh start. You didn’t need us to interfere with that. And I…” Cas looks down to the hands in his lap. Then back to you the pain evident in his eyes. “I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to leave you again.”

 

Those words just hung in the air, the meaning behind them was obvious, even if neither of our put words to them. You just look at Cas, you eyes absorbing and sharing in his pain. You feel yourself leaning into him and his eyes shot to your lips then back to your eyes. The permission he is seeking he finds in them. He pulls you in for the kiss that until that moment you didn’t even know you wanted. His kiss is firm, not like the first time. It is like he is trying to make you feel what he feels. You moan into the kiss which he seems to urge him on. He pulls you in tighter and deepens the kiss. You feel your whole body erupt with electricity. Heis gentle with you, showing you the love that he has held in for Dean’s sake. Feelings Cas now finally feels free to express. Your mind is light with the sensations the kiss is filling you with. These same feelings you felt with Steve. STEVE! You freeze. Cas senses your change in posture pulling away. 

 

“Y/N,” he asks looking at you, deep concern in his sparkling blue eyes.

 

Looking into his eyes you remember another set of baby blues. At the thought of Steve, you jerk away from Cas. “I’m sorry.” You say shifting away from him. He nods in understanding. 

 

“I'll give you a minute.” He says and disappears. You sigh. Your life just went from complicated to a complete bag of crazy.

 

Dean is sitting in his room thinking about how he was going to try to talk to you, alone, during this mission. He needs to let you know how he feels. He wants to tell you that he wants you back home. That he cares about you, and that he needs you here with them. This is the life you know, not the life of being controlled by Avengers. This is where you belong. Building his resolve he heads out to the meet with the rest of the team.

 

He reaches the War room the same time that Cas materializes. “Where is Y/N?” Dean asks noticing that Sam and Steve were in the library at the table.

 

“She’s changing.”

 

Dean doesn't hear his response, all he sees is red. As in the red lipstick that is smudged on Cas’s lips. He knows the color anywhere. He had that same color on his lips on multiple occasions. Before he can even process this, he registers that fact that Cas had said you are changing. His mind goes into another more darker direction. He reacts with his fist meeting Cas’s face.


	10. Chapter 10

Cas falls to the floor unprepared for the assault. Sam and Steve hear the noise and come running only to see Dean on top of Cas, the lapel of his coat in Dean's left hand and his right fist meeting Cas’s face. “How could you!” Dean exclaims as his meet meets its target.

Sam reacts immediately, pulling Dean off of Cas. Steve helps Cas up. A tiny amount of blood dripping out of Cas’s nose. Steve looks to examine the damage and sees the same trigger that Dean saw. Steve just steps back looking to Dean then back to Cas and leaves the room.

“Dean! What the hell!” Sam gets in Dean's face trying to stop him from attacking Cas again.

“You son of a bitch!” Dean grounds out to Cas. “You knew…You knew what she meant to me. Means to me and still…” disbelief filling Deans mind.

Sam turns to Cas, not sure what was going on, but understanding hits him as he sees Cas’s face. “Son of a bitch!” he whispers more to himself in the realization of what happened.

Dean tries to attack Cas again, but Sam holds him back, straining even harder now. He knows in the mood Dean is in, he would rip Cas apart if he could. “Dean. Stop!” Dean looks at Sam as if he finally realizes who is holding him back.

“Sam…” Dean pleads with him.

“Dean, I know…” Sam says with understanding in his voice and expression on his face. “But Cas is like a brother to you. You need to hear him out. If it were me, you would.”

Dean considers this, then stops straining against Sam. He puts his hand up in surrender and turns away facing the far wall trying to collect himself. Letting himself take satisfaction in the fact that he got a few good hits in.

“Dean…It just happened.” Cas begins. Dean turns on him. The restraint he is showing impressing Sam. He can tell it is pushing a thin line, but it is there, for the moment, anyway.

“Kissing a random hookup just happens, Cas…” Dean counters. “But this is Y/N! Cas!” Dean's eyes harbor anger, hate, and betrayal. He never expected this from Cas. Cas is the one person he could always depend on to do what was right. Or at least what he thought was right. There is no way he can justify this to him. Cas had flat out betrayed him.

“I know…” Cas hangs his head shaking it. Looking back at Dean as he steps closer. He wants to hug Dean, apologize. But this is not something you can just apologize for. Cas's emotions overtook his rational self. He acted without thinking and this is the consequence.

“Then why?” Dean asks, his eyes are beginning to tear up. This whole incident causing him more pain then he could deal with at the moment.

“I…” Cas’ weights his options carefully. “My emotions got the best of me.” He decides to go with a partial truth. He was never good at lying and figures this is the next best thing.

Dean’s expression sobers at the confession. It hits him like a stone fist. “Your…emotions…You have feelings for Y/N! I can’t believe what I am hearing right now” Dean begins to pace the room. “How long?”

“Dean...” Cas tries to reach out to Dean, but Dean wasn’t having it.

"CAS! HOW LONG?” Dean grits out. Dean's fists are clenching and his glare shooting daggers at Cas. Steve returns to the room, having composed himself, only to hear Dean put a voice to his realization. Steve’s heart sinks. His mind flashes to all the times he saw you with Cas. His mind is flooded with images that he dismissed without thought. He now puts it together in his mind and knows.

“Since the incident with Amara.” He answers shame filling his tone. “She came to me for comfort. She cared for you and you wouldn't even acknowledge her.” He glares at Dean going on the offensive. “She felt like you chose Amara over her, and she was broken over it. I was there for her. And while I was comforting her, I saw her heart. Her innocence, purity, and her soul. I was drawn in.”

“Oh, so you’re saying it is my fault…That’s just great!” Dean retorts.

Steve stands there, not sure what to think. He hears himself asking Cas one question. “Is this why you brought her to New York. To us? Because she was tempting you?”

Cas turns to Steve, noticing that he is in the room. “Not entirely,” Cas turns back to Dean. “She wanted to get away from you.” He says pointedly to Dean. “She was tired of being played with. You were treating her like a toy. Giving her attention only when it was convenient for you. She wanted to distance herself to start a new life.”

Cas turns to Steve. “She wanted to try to find normal. I assume, now, she meant a normal life with a guy who would treat her right.” Cas meets Steves gaze for a moment. Steve nods to Cas, an unspoken understanding between them. Looking back at Dean, Cas finishes. “You said yourself. After what happened with Lisa, that you could never have a normal life...settle down. She knew how you felt, so she left. She left to save you both the heartache.” Cas finishes looking at the floor waiting for the backlash.

An uncomfortable silence fills the room, Everyone lost in their own thoughts about you and what had happened to you. It was at this moment that you enter the room. You found a very simple, but very tight fitting off the shoulder black and white dress. It is white with black lace overlay. It is a little too formal for the bar normally but nothing else seemed to work for you and you had created a whole backstory in which to explain the dress. You had worn it for a different case, where you had to infiltrate a funeral. You figure if you throw on your black leather jacket it would downplay the look enough to sell it. What you do not expect is to come into a tension-filled room. Or to see everyone standing around, the heavy tension and deafening silence. You take the scene in for a moment. What you expected is a catcall from Dean, a smile from Cas and Sam, and for Steve to either blush and hide his face or give you a lecture about how your dress is too revealing. You did not expect this silence. You clear your throat to get their attention, as you step into the room to grab your coat. You don’t want to seem needy, so you set your mind on the slight alteration to the plan.

As you go to grab your coat you felt a familiar hand on your arm and look up to see Sam. The other men just stared, after what was said in your absence, none of them dared to move. They maintained their distances in an attempt of avoiding provoking another argument. Sam cleared his throat, “Y/N, you look beautiful.” He smiles at you and you’d nod.

"Thanks, Sam." You look at the other men who are all now studying you. You shrug your coat on as the other men seem to find their voice.

“Isn’t that a little much?” you hear Steve say.

“Well…about that. I have an idea." Your eyes turn to Dean, then decide against it and turn to Cas. “Wanna be my date?”

Cas’s eyes go wide, and the attention of the entire the room falls on him. The tension rises and you now realize that this was the reason for the awkwardness that was there when you came into the room. “Umm…” He looks to Dean and then Steve for help.

“I have a new plan, and I need a date who is not famous.” you look at Steve. You look at Dean. He stares back as if challenging you. 

"Cas, huh." Dean's gaze meets Steves. Steve shifts uncomfortably. "Why not me? Or christ, Sam even? Why Cas?" Dean moves close to you. "We did this before. You and I. Remeber Y/N? When we had to pose as a fake couple fro that housing development to catch the shifter." Dean gets a smug look. "You seemed to love playing pretend with me then."

"Dean..." You look away not wanting to tell him or anyone that playing his date would just feed into his misconception about your feelings for him. "I think Cas is best fro this. He'd help me blend better." She motions to her outfit. They all know there is more to it. All three men had suits then all could pull fo the businessmen look.

After a moment, Cas breaths in, “Ok, but what do I have to do.” He just wants to get this over with.

You smile sliding up next to him as you lay out the new plan for the group. Reluctantly, they agree. Dean is still furious at you choosing Cas over him, again but doesn’t push it. He chooses instead to focus his mind on the night ahead. Steve, however, is not quite so contemplative.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean I should be in there with you. What if something goes wrong?” you were ready for this and pull a hat out of your bag. It was Steve’s. You had stolen it from him some time ago. “Here put this on and borrow a flannel from Sam. You’ll fit right in. I can ask Cas to cover me if this goes outside before we nail him down.” 

Steve takes the Army hat and puts it on giving you a half-smile. He recognizes the hat and knows you had gotten it from him. Sam had already begun to dig through his bag for a spare flannel. Pulling out a dark blue checked flannel he hands it to Steve. “Always carry extra clothes in case things get…messy.” He explains.

“Thanks” Steve replies with a nod shrugging off his jacket. He is wearing a light grey t-shirt that is snug against his body, showing off every muscle flex. He places the jacket on the table to put on the shirt. Your eyes trailing his body, he sees your stare and his half-smirk comes back.

You turn to Cas trying to distract yourself. “Are you going to be comfortable with kissing on me and grabbing my ass?” Steve freezes one arm in his sleeve that other holding the shirt up.

Before Cas can respond Dean jumps in, “Oh Cas is more than ready. I’m sure he will put in a very convincing performance.” Dean glares at Cas. Now you really want to know what is going on.

“Dean! What is your problem?”

“MY problem?” he sets his shoulders and looks fully at you. “I don’t have a problem I am VERY clear on what is going on here. Are you?”

“Apparently not!” you shoot back and look to Sam for help. He gives you this don’t look at me look as he puts his hand in the air. Deciding you are not going to get anywhere with them. You decide to adjust your dress while turning back to Cas. You have never known Cas to be anything but a gentleman. “You need to sell being an insensitive jerk, to get me mad at you, too”

“I…” he stops looking at Dean again, then back to you, “I think I am ok with being an insensitive jerk right now.“ You don’t seem too convinced, so he adds. “I’m not feeling like myself lately.” He grabs your hand giving it a squeeze of reassurance before letting it go.

“So.” You turn to face Steve, Sam, and Dean. Sam, you and Dean go in together, just be yourselves.” You nod to Dean who makes his way over to Sam. Dean grabs some extra ammo for his gun. You turn to Steve. “And Steve, I want you to come in last. Give them about 10 to 15 minutes, before you come in. I don’t want to raise suspicions. If we all arrive too close together it might draw too much attention. Cas and I will go in last. That way we can let all of you get the lay of the room before we get there. Got it?”

They all nod reluctantly; the tension seems to be replaced with a sense of duty. The change of mood makes you feel more comfortable with the plan. As long as Dean’s jealousy doesn’t get in the way.


	11. Chapter 11

Both groups leave for the bar, while you and Cas stay behind. You assure them you will be there shortly not missing the uncertainty on Steve’s face as he looks between you and Cas. There really is a story there and you really need to know what is.

As you wait for Cas to change out of his clothes and into a more somber looking suit coat and jeans. You think about saying goodbye to the guys before they left for Shep’s. You are trying to figure out if there are any clues to what happened between them while you were changing.

“Well I guess that’s it, lets head out!” Deans voice moves everyone into action. Sam grabs up his bag of weapons and Dean moves to head to the door before he turns to you. Dean struts over pulling you in for a hug. While holding you he leans over and whispers in to your ear. “You stay safe, I can’t lose you again.” He whispers and there is a slight catch in his voice you can tell he’s fighting back his emotions. He runs a hand over your hair then pulls back a bit to kiss you on the forehead. In a move uncharacteristic of him he turns to Steve and offers his hand. Steve takes it with a moment of hesitation. “We got this. Just keep your eyes open for shifty or suspicious acting guys.”

“Thanks,” Steve responds. “I think I can handle that.” This interaction fills your heart with warmth seeing them finally come to a common ground, even if it is momentary, you will take it. Steve turns to you and you see him stride towards you with purpose. You think he is going to try to convince you one last time to not go. But he does something very different. He grabs you around the waist with one arm while pulling you into him, with the other he laces his fingers through your hair and puts his lips to yours. The kiss is deep, tense, and passionate. You feel warmth and electricity throughout your body. You moan into it as you give in. He pulls you even closer if that was even possible. Your arms go around his neck the feeling of his body against yours and the emotions the kiss is pulling you out are enough to make you forget yourself. The two of you also forget the three men who are watching this whole display. You feel Steve's hands move down to your lower waist and push your hips into his. You feel him push against you and realize that the kiss is affecting him as much as it is you.

Sam clears his throat reminding you both that you had an audience. Steve pulls back from the kiss. You rest your forehead on his chest. You know you have a job to do, but you want to get lost in him again like you just were a moment ago. “We’ll pick this up later,” Steve whispers you and kisses the top of your head before stepping back. You can only nod. The sensation still causing involuntary shivers in your body in spots.

“Y/N” Cas’s voice brings you to reality. "Is this okay?” He is standing in front of you. He has on a simple dress shirt, tie, and blue suit coat. He has on faded blue jeans on, just as you asked him to wear. Your eyes stop on his shoes. You expect dress shoes like he normally wears, but he has on brown cowboy boots they seem to make the whole outfit make a kind of sense.

“Um…Yeah. Cas where did you get those boots?” you ask.

“I saw that Sam and Dean wear boots a lot, and thought that it was what you do when you wear jeans.” He looks at the boots. “Is that, not right?”

“No. it's good” you smile at him. "It's really good." You say. He looks like he just walked off a ranch in south Texas. The look is doing things your mind that is not unpleasant. You hurriedly change the subject. You try to avoid the thoughts that have been confusing you since you had come to the bunker last night. Since you saw him for the first time. 

“So, we have some time to kill." You sit down on the sofa in the library. "What was going on earlier?” You look at Cas, knowing that he would tell you. Cas may be many things, complicated in many ways but in the truth, he is always straight forward with you.

“Dean was angry with me.“ He starts leaving out the fight, knowing it will anger you. “I betrayed him, he found out, and we argued.”

“Oh...” was all you could say. You think about it for a moment. You want to know what the fight was about. You wait to see if Cas will offer the information freely. “What happened?” you ask. After a moment you realize you might know. “Was it because of the kiss?” you mind fills with worry. If Dean knew you kissed Cas, then so did Steve. Oh, God. Your mind is reeling.

“Yes, he saw your lipstick on my lips, and he knew.” Cas’s voice is filled with shame. “I knew he cared for you, but I did it anyway. I let my feelings take over, a very human thing to do.” He smiles at the thought.

“Cas…” You don’t know what to say. You feel something for him, you can’t deny it, but then there is Steve. You have something with Steve you just don’t know what it is yet. You have a life in New York, and Cas is here. Even if you want to pursue things with Cas, there is Dean. It would kill Dean to see you with Cas every day. “We…Dean” was all you could get out before Cas is there kissing you again. This time the urgency is gone the rush is gone. You both have time to enjoy each other. His lips are different from the feel of Steve’s. They were more ghost-like, whereas Steve’s were more powerful. But they both held the same effect on your self-control. You feel yourself climbing on to Cas’s lap, your hair running through his hair. The soft noise he is emitting letting you know his approval. 

Your hands run down to his chest. You feel his hands move too. They travel from your waist to the small of your back then very slowly moving down to cup your ass. There is a small shift as he lifts you up. He pulls back, his eyes meeting yours, making sure you are okay with this. You wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to the larger couch. He lays you down his eyes rarely leaving yours as he begins to kiss up and down your neck. You moan softly at the sensation. His hand slowly moves down your side to the hem of your dress and again he pauses to gauge your reaction. You pull him in for another kiss. This is all the permission he needs before pushing his hand up the outer side of your thigh the dress moving up in response.

The kiss becomes more sensual and you feel your core tingling with excitement and yearning. You haven't felt this in a while. It has been a while since a guy had you in this position. Cas breaks the kiss, his lips moving back to your neck as his fingers reach the inside of your thigh. You feel them ghost over you as he reaches between your wet folds. His fingers stop and before he can even try to ask, you moan out for him, and he gets the hint. He slides one finger between the slick folds and eliciting a guttural response from you. He adds a second moving back to kiss you again more forcefully this time. You buck your hips into his hand encouraging him deeper. He moans into your mouth making you even needier. You pull your lips away from him, looking into his eyes you see his confusion. You are lost in your need of him, forgetting what you had to lose. 

Your eyes are full of lust you whisper softly to him. “I need you, Cas. I need ALL of you.” Cas’s eyes go wide but he just nods and pulls his fingers out of you. You moan at the lost, feeling the throbbing emptiness they leave behind. You wait as you feel him use that same hand to remove himself from the constraints of his jeans. In a matter of moments, his hands are back to your face. His eyes capture yours and they are filled with love and adoration. You know that this will change a lot between the two of you, but you can’t think about that now. All you can think about is this moment and your need for him.

“Are you sure you want this?” Cas asks his voice a gruff whisper that sends chills down to your core.

“Yes, Cas. I do” You whisper to him before pulling him in for a kiss as you grind your hips into his. This is all the encouragement he needs. He reaches down and lines himself with your entrance. He looks into your eyes as he pushes into you. He wants to see every emotion you have as he fills you. You moan out at the feeling and a tear slips from the corner of your eye. Cas wipes it away with his thumb as he pulls you into a kiss before he begins slowly making love to you.

He moves his hips slowly, at first, relishing in the feel of himself in you. The noises you are making and the feelings they are bringing to him are driving him even more into an internal frenzy. He wants to give you what you need. He wants this to be perfect for you. He tries to read your body, trying to focus on what you want.

You feel full as he moves in and out of you slowly, you feel the love he has for you and has had for you for all this time. You wonder at how he kept these feeling hidden for so long but then just give in to the feeling of the moment and worry about the rest later. Cas is doing everything perfect, he kisses down your neck slowly, leaving wet kisses that tickle as they cool and dry with exposure to the air. You move your hand to his ass. Guiding him to move faster as you feel your need rise. He responses eagerly and increases his pace to match your gestures. You move your hands up his back. It is not as muscular as Steve’s, but it offers comfort all the same.

You begin to kiss his chest, and you hand snakes into his hair pulling him down to kiss you as you buck your hips up, encouraging more. He growls at you, almost as if you were on the same page. He can feel his orgasm coming on and was trying to hold back until he knew you were there too. Once he feels you pushing your hips up to meet his he knows you are almost there and grabs you left leg pulling it over his should giving him the perfect angle to give you what you realize you desperately need. You let out a loud moan that drives him crazy as he begins to test the new position. Now knowing that you approve he beings to move faster. You moan louder encouraging him more. Before he knows it, he has lost all control of himself and is slamming into you, you screaming out his name as you both are reaching your peak. Both of you feeling your release at the same time, the moment is marked all the lights in the bunker explode in sparks, materializing the feeling you have in your mind. 

Cas stills for a moment, looking at you. He lets your leg down and leans in to kiss you softly, sweetly, and slowly. You relax into the kiss still coming down from your high. He lies there on top of you, inside you, relishing the moment. You run your hands though his hair memorizing the look of contentment and completeness on his face. You feel like you need to say something, some affirmation of your feelings but you don’t know what they are. 'Do you love this man, this angel? Or is this just a curiosity that you needed to itch? What about Steve?' Then it hits you Steve the team. 

“Oh God” you gasp and Cas’s face drops. Shame spread across it. You instantly realize what he is thinking and, in a panic, pull him into you giving him one last kiss. “Love,” You say to him, knowing that the old term of endearment you used to say would soften the situation a bit. “We have to go they’re waiting on us.” Cas what you meant and smiles. He is glad you have no regrets about what just happened.

You feel Cas pull out and away from you slowly. He puts himself away as you adjust your dress. “Cas…I” you are still feeling the need to say something.

“No...,” Cas says. He puts a finger to your lips then smiles kissing you quickly before getting to grab your coat. “Just let me have this” he finishes, helping you into your coat.

You nod to Cas. The next thing you know you are standing in the dirt parking lot in front of Shep’s. Cas has your hand in his. You look around to make sure that the guys had all gone in, they had. You give Cas one more look squeezing his hand one more time before you walk towards the door.

Walking in the front door you are taken back at how large the place is. It is busy, but it doesn’t feel overly crowded. Not like some of the clubs that Wanda and Nat would drag you too in New York. Those places you couldn’t seem to be able to move without bumping into someone. But here you felt that you could move easily and still look inconspicuous in your actions. The perfect hunting ground. You now know why he chooses this place to hunt. It was perfect. You turn to Cas, still holding his hand you walk with him to the bar and he orders a couple of drinks. You decide to start out with something strong, then adjust once you see what will happen later. Cas pays the bartender and you sip on your drink. You keep your eyes on Cas. He starts a conversation you are supposed to be having. “Everyone has their eyes on us.” Cas states.

You smile back putting up the façade of the happy couple, but in reality, the guilt of what you did. How you feel is creeping up on you. You take a generous drink of the amber liquid wincing as it burns going down. “I’m scared Cas.” You lean into him to whisper in his ear.

He looks at you unsure what to say, “We don’t have to do this…” he says. Seriousness all over his face.

“No, not afraid of the mission, I’m afraid of how I feel.” You admit your eyes meeting his. He simply nods and places a hand on your back. He turns you toward the rest of the bar. The motion reminds you of Steve. You falter for a moment and then regain your smile as Cas leads you to a booth. You slide in and he excuses himself for a moment. The booth is perfectly positioned, it is in the corner, but near the dance floor, and it offers the perfect view of the entire bar. You allow yourself to scan the room looking for the guys. You take your seat in the booth. You look around again spotting Dean and Sam by the pool tables opposite you from the dancefloor. They seem to be engaged in their game, but you know they are watching all the doors and the bar for the target. You scan the room further and see Steve sitting at the end of the bar. Your heart freezes for a moment. He might have heard what you said to Cas, panic rises in your mind as you replay the conversation. After you replay it you feel confident there is nothing said that can be seen as incriminating, so you calm yourself again. You look at Steve and for a moment your eyes locking with his. An instant comfort washes over you as you look into his eyes. He smiles and nods to you then turns back to his beer. Cas moves through you gaze as he comes to sit back down next to you tow more drinks in his hands. He puts down that drinks then puts an arm around you and pulls you in to whisper into your ear. “Should we do something?” he asks you. You realize he is probably unsure of how to act on a date.

“Cas…Is this your first date?” You joke with him. His smile fades as he looks at, his eyes wide like you had learned his deepest secret. “It is.” You whisper, he nods, swallows and then looks away in shame. You shift closer to ensure no one but the two of you hear the conversation. “You sure didn’t act like it earlier. You seem pretty experienced.” You say and his head whips and his eyes meet yours. You feel encouraged to continue. “You did things to me that none else had ever been able to do.” You keep your eyes on his. You see the confidence return to his face. He leans in kissing you softly. You freeze for a moment knowing that you had eyes on you but give into it. Your brain reminding your body that this was part of the role you are supposed to be playing. You hope Steve doesn't pick up on how comfortable you were in Cas’s arms. You didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially Steve and definitely not when you are still unsure of what or if there was anything to be betraying.

Cas senses your hesitation, probably because you don’t surrender your self as you did before, and pulls away slowly. You smile at him and he smiles back knowing that he has to let you sort this all out. The two of you sit quietly for a few moments letting the atmosphere and the music from the band flow over you. You rest your head against Cas for a moment while admitting the bar. It is quite nice for a honkey tonk. Stripped trunks of wood serving as pillars holding up the exposed wood beam of the same material. The beams supporting a silver tin roof. The whole bar appeared to be hand made, from the booths to the tables. All having the light natural wood look giving the bar an authentic country feel. Your eyes wandered over to the pool tables again. You see Sam has just finished racking another set of balls, as Dean is staring at you. The anger and hurt evident even from where you were. You feel bad for Dean. If things had been different you may be with him right now. You might never have left, and you might have pushed Dean to admit his feelings for you instead of chasing after Amara. But it is what it is, you left and met Steve. Steve. Your mind flies to him and you turn to see him. He is no longer at the end of the bar. Panic sets in and you look around to see him talking to a server. You freeze. She has her hand on his upper arm, and he is smiling while talking to her. She laughs and he shakes his head. You feel jealousy raging its angry head.

You know Steve doesn’t get jealous easily, but you feel the need to show him that two can play this game. You turn to Cas. “You wanna dance?”

Cas smiles, it is beautiful and the first time you’ve seen a real smile on his face in a long time. “I’m not sure I know how?” he says shyly.

“After what you did to my body tonight, I think you’ll do fine.” You wink at him, Not caring if Steve hears your confession or not. “Just move with me like your making love to me.” You see movement out of the corner of your eye and see Steve’s eyes shoot over to you. For a second you are sure he heard you, he grabs a chair at the table next to the dance floor. You smile smugly knowing he was in for a show now.

You pull Cas out on to the floor. As you pull Cas in front of you you see Sam looking at you, he has a smirk on his face. He raises an eyebrow. When Sam realizes your intentions, he laughs a little and then says something. Whatever he says catches Deans attention. Dean looks up from his shot at the two of you. Dean stands upright and you can see his grip on the pool stick getting tighter. His face in a grimace.

You look at Cas who is just standing there. You are about to start showing him a country line dance when the band ends the song. You look at Cas with a shrug and move to head back before you are able to move a foot Cas grabs you hand and pulls you in. Your hand hit his chest in an attempt to keep your balance in the 2-inch heels are wearing. He smiles down at you. "Give it a minute," he whispers. Seconds later the band begins to play your favorite slow song.

“You remembered.” You say to him.

“Of course I did.” He smiles back. His hand goes to the small of your back pulling you in as close as you can get to him. He takes your left hand in his and places in on his chest over his heart settling his on top of yours holding it in place. You move your free hand to his shoulder, he beings to move slowly, stepping to the beat. 

"I thought you didn't know how to dance?" you ask.

"Not to what was playing before. Byt his music, I learned just in case," he replies.

You rest your head on his chest getting lost in the feeling of safety there, closing your eyes. The band plays three songs in total before picking up the beat again. The change of tempo stirring you from your peace. Reminding you that you had to find a reason to fight with him soon. As you pull away from Cas, and you slowly walk back to the booth with him. You let him sit then lean over telling him that you are going to go to the bar and let Dean come do his thing. Cas nods as disappointment fills his face. He didn’t want time to end either.

You slowly make your way to the bar, passing Steve’s table. His eye on you the entire way. As you pass you purposely bump into him causing him to spill his drink. You lean over as if to apologize. “Steve, we are acting you know this right?”

Steve just nods, then adds very softly looking down, trying to hide his fear from you. “VERY convincingly.” You may not see his face, but you hear his voice and you know there is going to be a very heated discussion later, you are just not sure about what, and that scared you.

You pull away, your eyes locking with his. You stand up and continue walking up to the bar. You are standing waiting for the bartender to notice you. The bar has picked up a few more customers. As you scan the crowd you see a new face walk through the door. He fits the description that Jody had provided for you perfectly. Your eyes shoot back to Steve who nods as at you, acknowledging that he sees him too. You let your eyes move to the posters of all the bands on the walls of who had performed there. They fall casually onto Cas who doesn’t have to say a word. You know he knows. You turn casually to the pool area where you see Sam on the barstool near a high-top table. You make eye contact with Sam. HE follows your gaze as you turn to the door. The way you all fall back into this routine of just knowing. The unspoken communication both amazed and comforted you. Steve see this as well and realizes how well the four of you work together. He only just started to build that with you.

You turn back to the bar seeing the bartender finishing up with the last patron and heading down to you. “What can I get you?” he asks.

Before you can respond Dean settles up next to you, putting his hand squarely on your ass. ‘She'll have two shots of tequila.” He smirks at you. “And I’ll have two whiskey doubles.” The bartender raising a brow at you two, you nod, he nods and walks away to get your drinks.

“Let’s get this party started,” Dean says. His comment letting you know he has seen the target walk in and he is not exactly happy with your behavior on the dance floor.

“I thought it already had.” You shoot back countering his remark knowing he will get the undertone of it. 'I am not going to have this argument with him right now.' You tell yourself. You turn back to the bar as your drinks are set down in front of you. You wait for a moment as the bartender pours Dean's drinks. He gets out two lime wedges and a salt shaker for you to take your shots with. “Are these both for me?” You ask Dean while he is paying the bartender. You see Cas has moved over to Sam and they are beginning another game of pool. 'Good.' you think to yourself. The more everyone can get into one area without looking suspicious the better this will go.

“Oh yeah, princess bottoms up” Dean encourages you by handing you a shot. You smile at Dean taking the shot. You turn your back to the bar and lick your hand before pouring salt on it then you grab the lime wedge with the same hand as you grab the shot with the other. You catch Steve looking your way. Steve is shaking his head at you. You know he is regretting this plan even more not that he is watching you drinking way more he's ever seen you drink.

Looking back at Dean, you lock your eyes with his, exclaiming with a laugh, “Bottoms up.” And you go through the process, like clockwork. You breathe out, lick the salt, down your tequila shot and bite the lime. Dean just beams at you not giving you a minute before he hands you the next shot with a lime. You look at him then take a deep breath in, then exhale repeating the process. The second shot not as much a shock to your system as the first one was. You chase the taste with a shot of the whiskey that Dean hands you. “Thanks” you smile at him. His face beams, this is the first time you smile at him, and it fills him with joy. Dean orders two more sets of drinks for the two of you. The bartender brings them promptly. You clink the shot glass with Dean and take the shot. Dean smiles at you, then he looks to Steve. Seeing Steve is watching both of you dow grabs his shot downs it then pulls you in kissing you. The whiskey sliding down your throat. You put your hands on his chest attempting to push him away but you start to feel light-headed so instead grab on to him tighter. His hands move down to grab you ass lifting you onto the bar stool. He deepens the kiss then pull back.

“Okay, so…” his hand returns to your ass this time giving it a squeeze which makes you jump and him to chuckle at you. “You’d think with all this attention you’ve been getting lately you wouldn’t be so jumpy.” He whispers in your ear, his hand remaining firmly on your ass.

“Dean,” you shoot him a warning look. Then you go back to looking around trying to locate the target. You had for a moment forgotten the real reason you are there for. “This is all an act. You know this.”

Dean just shakes his head and releases you ass bring his arm up to rest on the bar behind you. “You may be fooling Captain Perfect over there, ya may even fool Sam, but Cas…,” he nods to Cas who is taking a shot at the table with Sam who is casually looking around. “and I.” You tun your gaze back to Dean as he studies the dance floor. “We’re not fooled.” You freeze as you feel other eyes on you. You look around thinking that it may be the target but your eyes lock on Steve’s. His eye filled with hurt. 'Damn it! Dean.' You look away the pain in those eyes tearing at your heart.

“Dean, this is not a game.” You hiss to him trying to cover for yourself, even though you know Dean's words and your reaction to the is all Steve needed to confirm his suspicions. “We are working...or the rest of us are.” And with that, you walk away from him. The team needs a distraction for the plan to work. Hell if you aren't going to get them one. Just not the kind, they were expecting. You are staring into your drink as you head back to the safety of your booth, just as scripted, Cas would find you there, after seeing your exchange with Dean and make and outrageous display of jealousy over his obviously overly drunk and flirty girlfriend which would result in him leaving you there alone and vulnerable to the target. The key was to make sure the scene was big enough so that you both get the targets attention and make it clear that you are indeed alone. You, however, have a different idea in mind now.

On your way back to the booth you pass Steve, who was again being flirted with by the same waitress you saw earlier. You shoot him a look letting him know that you are not happy. His smile falters for a moment. He wants to follow you, but he knows it would expose you and ruin the mission. If he did that would make you even more angry at him. Instead, he looks down at his drink and hopes for the best. He knows you had feelings for one of these men. He just wasn’t sure which one, if not both, but at this point, his mind was set on Dean. After the verbal beat down Dean gave Cas, he is sure that whatever feelings Dean has for you are far from gone. Dean is tenacious. It is for these reasons that Steve comes to the conclusion that Dean is the ultimate threat. He just wants this all over. He wants to go back to being the only object of your affection.

When you get back your booth you slide into it, mentally willing Cas to return. You remove your jacket, leaving your shoulders bare, the full power of your appearance getting put into play, hoping to drag this bastard out so you can get this done quickly. You want to get back to your room with Steve. You need to talk to him to clear things up.

Before you even have a chance to take a swig of your drink you see Cas sliding in across from you. “I have been informed not to get so 'Cozy'” he offers by way of explanation. You nod knowing that was probably Dean’s request, which just fueled your rage even more. You decide to go off-script. You grab Cas’s hand and pull him onto the dance floor. Cas is helpless to do nothing but follow. Once on the floor, you start to move to the sensual country-rock song. Cas quickly glancing gauging what everyone else is doing. He feels relieved when the band ends the song. Some of the couples start pulling together as the band announces a set of slow numbers again. Cas moves pulling you into him ready to take up the position from the last dance, but you have other ideas.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull his head down to you whispering in his ear. “I want you to fuck me, over my clothes on this floor, in front of everyone.” Your words make him freeze in place. You’re not sure if the drinks are taking effect, or if it's your anger that is driving you, but you want to show both Dean and Steve that no one owns you. 

You begin to grind your hips against Cas’s pelvis. Cas is startled out of his shock when he feels you hips grinding against. In a second he is awkwardly trying to figure out what he should be doing. You sense his insecurity and make the decision to give him some initiative. You pull him down and kiss him deeply and passionately. His hands instinctively moving to your ass pushing you into him. You feel his erection pressing between your legs. You pull away looking at him. His eyes filled with lust. You lean into him whispering into his ear. “Good! Now, do what we did earlier, but with less gusto.” You pull back winking at him. 

He growls softly with need and lust moving one hand to your back. The other pressing firmly on your ass. You move one of your hands up pressing your chest into his wrapping your hand around the back of his neck. He leans down, kissing you firmly, as the two of you begin swaying, grinding into each other at the same time. You can feel both Dean’s and Steve’s look burning into your body as you and Cas moved in sync. For you, it feels like the most natural thing for you both to do. Cas ends the kiss leaning his head on top of yours closing his eyes relishing in the feeling as you do that same resting your head on his chest.

Just as the first song end, you feel Cas being jerked back and see Steve standing there. Your eyes go wide. 'What the hell is he doing?' You think to yourself.

He looks at you then back to Cas. "I am cutting in” he grunts out. Leaving no room for negotiations. Looking at Cas, you nod, dropping his hand. He holds your eyes as he retreats back to the booth. 

Steve pulls you close, you can feel the vice-like grip he has on your waist. His hand grabbing yours and he resting them both over his heart. “What was that all about.” He asks you pointedly.

“I am sick of Dean...” you stop trying getting your courage to say what you really mean. “I’m sick of Dean and you trying to dictate what I do. I wanted to show you both that I am my own person.” As you are saying it, it sounds petty and you begin to feel ashamed. 

“So you what? Decide to basically fuck an angel on a dancefloor in front of over 50 people!?” Your eyes go wide as you hear the profanity coming from his lips.

“Cas is not as innocent as you would think.” You respond in defense of yourself.

“Apparently,” Steve answering you back sharply. You say nothing, letting Steve calm himself. Letting the feeling of his arms around you comfort you, you sigh. There is safety there, a different safety from what you can find in Cas’s arms offered. In his arms, it feels like a shield is surrounding you. A protective shell keeping the outside world from getting in. With Steve, the feeling is more like that of being cuddled up on the couch in your home under a warm soft blanket. THe is a gentle peace in his arms despite the muscularity of them. You relax into his embrace. You can feel Steve letting down his guards at the same time.

You dance through the remainder of the song and part of the next one when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You look around to see Dean. Steve keeping his arms around you. His eyes shooting daggers at Dean. Dean ignoring Steve looks at you. "Our guy is noticing you, we need to be doing something crazy," Dean says softly. You look at Steve. He nods reluctantly and letting you go heads off to the bar. Dean grabs you around the waist. 

Deans style of dancing differing from the other. He pulls you in close, putting both arms around your waist. He is resting his head against yours he begins to whisper in your ear. “Hey, he only noticed you after you were dancing Cas on the dance floor. If that’s what you’d call it! I think, he thinks you are completely unattached, just enjoying the attention of all us guys.” He pulls back and smiles at you.

“You know if that’s the case then I don’t need to make a scene, do I?” you answer.

“Not necessarily…” he looks over to see if the target is still watching the two of you, he is. After that display you gave with Cas, it makes him look pretty invested in you. You have to make a scene with him and leave with one of us, or at least make it look like we head to the parking lot for a quickie and see if he follows...If not, then we’ll have to go to plan B.”

“Okay…” While you are considering the first scenario, you ask. “What is plan B?”

“We wait for him to snatch another girl and follow him to the parking lot. We go hoping we can catch him before he disappears, or something happens to the girl.” Dean looks you in the eyes and you nod.

“Okay, not a good plan.” You nod. “Who is going to be the lucky guy?” you ask. He raises his eyebrow at you and smirks. You sigh knowing look.

“Does Steve know, or Cas?”

“Well Captain spangly pants, no” His smile getting bigger, an added bonus to his impromptu plan. “Cas, well…” Dean leads. You pinch his shoulder and he flinches. “Ok OK, he knows but he said you should pick who you leave with. It would be more believable.” You smile at this. Cas thinks it will be him, especially after what we both shared earlier. He is sure you will pick him.

“Uh Huh,” Dean nods knowingly. “And that’s why I am making that choice.” The look of surprise on your face telling him exactly what he needs to know. “WE WILL TALK OUTSIDE.” His face going dark pulling your hand with his. Heading to the door he nods to Sam. Sam nods back knowing what was happening.

Cas watches what is going on and his heart sinks watching you leave with Dean. Cas concluding that either you choose to leave with Dean or Dean never gave you the chance to choose. Either way, he knows you are not going out that door with him. He just looks back at the table and pretends to drink his beer. Waiting for the target to follow.


	12. Chapter 12

The brisk cool air hits your face, you realize you are tipsier then you thought. You were downright drunk. Dean pulls you over to him. You sit on the trunk of baby and Dean leans against her next to you. The muffled sound of the band coming from inside. You hear crickets and the distant sound of traffic from the interstate just beyond the field behind the bar. 

“Y/N." You hear Dean's voice. You see he has moved to stand in front of you. His back to the very door you are supposed to be watching.

“Dean” You want to tell him you had a job to do, but instead, you are cut off by Dean.

“When did you fuck him?” Your jaw freezes agape. Fear and shock grip your entire body. “I know.” He adds his head hanging low as his hands rest on both sides of you. You lean against the car as he pushes into you.

“Know what?” You are trying to play innocent. You are pretending you have no clue what he is talking about, but deep in your heart, there is a heaviness that tells you that he knows and that Steve probably knows too.

“Y/N.” he looks at you, tears filling his eyes. “I knew the second you walked into the bar. AN HOUR LATE.” He chokes out. Taking in a deep breath he tries to suppress the pain, you want to deny it and this time you knew you couldn’t. You look away, fighting back your own emotions. “It is all over your faces. At least for those of us who know you both well enough.”

“Did you tell Steve?” It is all you could think of to say. Maybe Steve didn't know, that thought gave you a moment's hope.

“WHAT!” Dean punches the trunk with his fist, making you jump. His anger scaring you. “DID I TELL…" He drops his head. Taking a breath he looks up at you again. "...did I tell Mr. perfect.” He shakes his head, a disturbing grin coming across his face. His laugh is so sharp and maniacal it makes your skin crawl. For a moment you are reminded of Dean when he was carrying the Mark of Cain. “NO? I'll leave that one to you.” You drop your eyes from him. 

You start to feel the effects of the alcohol. You feel your self falling forward. Dean grabbing your arms to steady you. He leans into you. You eye meet his. His drop to your lips and back you yours. You try to pull back but his hold on your arms holding you close to him. "I know what the problem is." Dean's voice ghosting over your cheek while his words reach your ear. "You forgot how good we are together. How I make you feel." he moves back so your eyes are meeting. You feel yourself fill with something not need but not anxiousness either. You try to pull back again but this time his hands move to the sides of your head. His hands twining in your hair. His lips crash into yours. You weakly try to push him away but quickly find yourself relaxing into the kiss. You realize what you are doing and try to push him away. Dean, however, pushes you down onto the hood of the Impala, his body pressed against yours pulling you into him. He pulls ways just enough to look into your eyes. What? Cas is good enough for you, but I'm not? You taking us all for a test drive? You gonna jump Sam next?"

"Dean, it's not like that..." you feel a tear fall out of the corner of your eye.

"Oh...so..." Dean leans in kissing you again. "You're just playing hard to get." Dean's lips clamp onto your you try to tell him to stop but it's muffled by kiss. His hands travel up the front of you and cups your breast. He massages it softly, you moan into his mouth the feel. You try to move away from him but his other hand grabs your hip holding you in place. He breaks the kiss. His lips moving to your neck, "I missed you..." he whispers. 

"Dean..." You gasp. "Dean we need to..."

"Don't you dare say stop." He growls against your neck biting you hard. You know a mark will appear in the morning. " You sure as hell didn't tell Cas to stop!" He grinds himself in between your legs to make his point. His lips capture yours again, more forcefully. He moves his hand to the outside of your left thigh and pushes the dress up a bit, his hand squeezing your thigh. You try again to wriggle away from him. His hand squeezing you leg harder pulling you even closer to him. His other hand moving to your other thigh. Your dress was now at your waist. Dean breaks the kiss again. "Do you remember the last time we were like this. On Baby..." He doesn't wait for you to respond as he starts to kiss you again. This time you hear him undoing his pants. Your try to call to him again but he ignores you muffled cries. A moment later you feel his hands on your core rubbing you lightly. You moan at the feeling, but try to struggle a bit. " I know baby, you're finally remembering how good I can make you feel," he mumbles against you lips before kissing you roughly again. You feel him pull your panties off. Then his hand coming back up to your core. You gas as he enters a finger into you. He moves it in and out slowly before pushing in a second one. You moan into his mouth, the feeling making your body hum. You moan his name as he adds a third finger. "That's it, baby, you feel so ready for me." He kisses you again deeper this time, more passionately. You feel him shift and then feel his tip lining up with your entrance. "Okay, sweetheart. I'm going to do thins to you that your Captain can't. " He whispers in your ear. "You ready?"

"Dean, I didn't...I haven't...not with Steve." You squirm slightly under him.

Dean pauses and looks at you. "Never...?" disbelieve in his voice. You nod. He smiles, "Good..." He kisses you again before slowly entering you. You cry out in pleasure. His size always makes you feel full. He slowly begins moving in and out of you slowly. You grab on to him. pulling you into him. He slowly picks up the pace. His moans into your ear. "God baby..." groans He crashes his lips to you as he moves to change the position, his arms pulling your legs around his waist and he sinks in deeper. You scream into his mouth as he hits that spot inside you. Encouraged by the sound you are making his starts to move even faster. "Christ, I forgot how good you feel." He moans loudly. His lips attaching to your neck nipping and biting at it.

You start to feel you release building inside of you. "Dean..." You moan out, the feeling of impending release coupled with your drunken state pushing you to a sate of other worldness. 

Dean pulls you further off the Impala. He pulls you thighs against your chest. The new position allowing him to move harder and faster into you. "Y/N....Fuck....taking me so well..." He is panting now. Your eyes meet his. He is completely lost in lust. You close your eyes again letting the sensations of him wash over you. HE moves his hand up your thighs spreading your legs wider letting you legs drape over the crock of his elbows and his moves faster using his new leverage on you to pull you into him as he slams into you. His movement is coming faster, the rhythm faltering. He moves his had down between your legs and begins rubbing you frantically as he feels his release coming. The new sensation moving you to the precipice of climax. Jesus....fucking ...christ....good damn sweetheart.... you are so fucking tight." Each word accented with a moan in-between. You feel yourself falling over that edge and Dena follows behind you a second later. He collapses onto you, panting. You are both panting when you hear voices in the distance. Dean quickly pulls out of you and tucks himself away. He looks at you with a softness in his eye and turns to see a very drink couple stumbling to their car. He moves back to you kissing you softly and quickly on the lips

"Dean..." You say softly. "I....I'm sorry but this...we...this shouldn't have happened."

He spins on you. "Did you say that to Cas too? or is this speech reserved just for me?" the softness you once saw there is gone instantly.

"Dean...that's not..." You run your hand down your face. "I'm not stying here. I can't"

"So...what? You're going back to him?"

"I'm going back to them. MY friends!"

"Yeah, because you and 'Steve' look like such good 'friends'." He steps back from you removing his arms from around you. He turns to walk away. You jump down from the back of the car and follow him. He must have heard you following him because he turns back around and spits out at you. “Go back in there. Go find him. I’m done.” He turns away and walks out of the parking lot.

Standing there numb, you are not sure what to do. You are not even sure what you had done. Did you just destroy everything you ever came to care for in one action? You head turns back to the door. You are about to head back in when someone grabs you by the arm from behind. He catches you off guard, you aren’t ready, you don’t have a weapon and now with Dean gone, no backup. You pretend to not know who he is. You smile at him attempt walking around him, but he moves in from of you. You look to him, fear reaching your eyes, and like a predator he senses it. “Hi” he smiles.

“Excuse me.” You try moving away, but he steps in front of you. You are getting tired of this dance. You being to pray really loud to Cas. When Cas doesn't appear you begin to scream hoping Steve or someone would hear you. The scream seems to awaken something inside the man in front of you. He hits you on the side of his head. You crumple to the ground. You can see him moving to look at your still body. You can't make out his face clearly. You hear some voices from somewhere distant, they are yelling your name. You are trying to call to him but all you manage to do is scream in silence, then darkness claims you.


	13. Chapter 13

When you come to, you are in a soft bed. The smell of flowers filling your nose. Opening your eyes burns with the bright light flooding them. You are squinting against the light, trying to let your eyes adjust. Moving your hand you shield your eyes in an attempt to open them completely. The movement garners the attention of someone. You hear a shuffle and feel the bed shifting next to you. Turning your head you see Steve lying on his side next to you, facing you. You reach out touching his chest gently. You are hoping it is real, that you are not dreaming. Your hand coming into contact with his smooth, firm chest. You know now that he is definitely real. You are smiling happily as you roll over to him. He pulls you in close to him kissing the top of your head. Rolling over he pulls you onto his chest attempting to hold you as close to him as possible while making you more comfortable. You lay there in his arms for a moment as your sleepiness is fading from you. As you wake up, your brain recalls the events from the night before.

“Dean,” your say softly remembering being with him last night. The next moment you remember him walking away from you in that parking lot.

“Well, that was not the name I was hoping to hear first thing this morning.” Steve mumbles.

“No... have you seen Dean?” Steve looks away you push further. “Did he come back to the bunker?” You finish.

“Actually, Sam is hoping you could tell him where Dean is.” Steve attempts to pull to back to him. You let yourself fall into his arms for a moment. You try to let yourself relax but you can't. You shake your head, moving to get out of bed. Your head starts spinning and you fall back into Steve's arms.

“No, we got into an argument and...” You answer him. Your voice quieting as you remember the entirety of the night, shame filling your voice for him and yourself.

"Is that before or after..." He hold up the panties you had on last night.

"Steve..." You feel sick.

"I can't say anything..." He sighs. "I haven't exactly made myself clear about how I feel about you, or what I want."

"But Steve..." He doesn't let you finish he just pulls you in fro a deep kiss. You pull him in and lose yourself in the kiss. You move over him to get a better angle. He runs his hands own you back to your ass squeezing slightly, then let's go.

"Doll, as much as I'd love to continue this I think we need some time to figure things out between us, and..." He moves you off him and onto the bed. "You took a nasty hit. “Banner says bed rest for you."

“Bruce is here?”

“Yeah, when this all went south.” He gestures to the situation and then you. “I called in some backup." You flop back onto the bed. "Y/N, can you please tell me what happened?"

"Dean...I didn't want to but when we got into the parking lot he started kissing me. Things got heavy. I tried to stop him and I really did..." You plead with Steve. His face goes dark. You immediately see where his thoughts are going. " But something flipped, maybe the alcohol or the familiarity of it, but I gave in." Steve's eyes meet yours and he nods, you continue. "But after...he thought..." You feel tears sliding down your face and you wipe them away. "He thought that we made up and that we were getting back together." You take a breath trying to keep calm. You know this has to be ripping Steve apart. "When I told him we are not. That I wanted to go back to New York..." Your eyes meet his, he smiles at you. You smile back. In your mind, you know that you belong with Steve, in New York. In your heart, you are torn. "He got pissed. Then he stormed off.

“He left you out there!!!” Steve bolts upright, anger flowing off him in waves. Steve looks at you. Your lack of eye contact confirming it. “He’d better hope he is dead or very seriously injured when we find him, or I’m going to kill him!” Steve’s voice was low and threatening. Steve gets up quickly beginning to dress. You move to do the same, but dizziness hits you again. “Oh no you don’t,” Steve says softly, putting his hands on your shoulders, his shift in demeanor and tone reflecting the feelings he still harbors of you.

You resign to being stuck in bed. You watch him, as he starts to dig for a shirt when you remember the case. “Did we get him?”

Steve considering it and you moment, looking at you. He sighs turning back to his bag, zipping it up. “Yes, but he was just…He is bringing them somewhere else.” Steve pulling his shirt turns to you. “I’m going to get Bruce, just stay here and rest.” He leans over giving you a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. 'You really need to figure out what is going on between you two.' you tell yourself. 'At least you know how he feels.' You hear your phone looking over to your nightstand to see Steve had plugs your phone in for you. You see your phone has five missed calls. Opening the phone you find they all are from either Sam or Cas. Just as you are about to call back there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in,” you assume it’s Bruce coming to check on his patient. But are surprised to see it’s Nat.

“Hey girl, a hell of a way to spend a vacation.” She smiles coming into the room. She is looking around then raises an eyebrow. You know what she is thinking and decide to save her the questions.

“Tony booked our accommodations.” Nat nods smiling but you can tell she ist done with the questions. 

“And...things have taken a turn on the, you and Steve front.”

"Things are...complicated..."

“I can see,” she says nodding to the bike keys and Dickinson book. His side of the bed, the bed that still has to covers pulled back.

“It’s not that far…”

“Yet.” She finishes for you and you blush.

“So tell me. Why are you trying to have fun without me?” she asks sitting on a small armchair in the corner of the room.

“It wasn’t really planned, it just happened. I was so frustrated with Steve being so protective, and so I just…” you couldn’t finish just shaking your head.

Nat laughs softly at you. “Yeah, I warned Steve he’ll have his handful with you.” You look up in surprise. “Yeah, he asked me if he has a shot with you. I told him he has to check the 1940’s chivalry at the door, then maybe. Apparently, he doesn’t listen too well.”

“I think I screwed it up, Nat.” You say trying to hold back tears.

Nat gets up closing the door softly before returning to you. “Y/N, I doubt that. He is head over heels for you, you're not going to push him away, not unless you want to.” Nat says rubbing small circles in your back. The comforting feeling calming you as the sobs you were trying to keep down escape your body.

“I…had sex with... .” The rubbing stops, the room going silent. She slowly resumes the ministrations on your back while taking a deep breath. 

“Who...?”

" Dean..." You begin.

"The ex?..." She asks.

"And...Cas?"

She raises her eyebrow at you pulling her had away. "At the same time?"

"NO!" You almost shout. "I...it was in the same night but tow separate occasions..." Your eyes drop.

"Well..." Nat sighs taking in everything you are telling her. " I now about Dean...so tell me about Cas..." she takes you hand in hers. You look up to her teras in your eyes. You are grateful that she is there for you.

“Cas, it's short for Castiel, he’s a good friend from…before.” You’re unsure how much you want to tell her.

“So what leads to...?” she asks. She is not judging you It is exactly what you are needing at this moment.

“I don’t know! I never even knew Cas cared for me…Well… he kissed me the day he brought me to New York...but then he disappeared.” You say without thinking. Nat catches the wording immediately.

“He disappeared... as in left never to be heard from or…”

“He…Well, he flew off.” You say you don’t want to lie to her.

Now you really have her attention. “Cas can fly? Is he enhanced?”

“No…” you feel yourself slipping down the rabbit hole. Nat needed to know the truth though. It would all come out anyway when you got talking about the case it would all come out anyway. “He’s an angel. Like God-created, wings, prayers…”

“Huh…” Nat thinks this over for a minute. “Well, at least we know you have a type.” She is smiling at you and you snort-laugh. “Good." She smiles at you. "You needed to send that cloud out from over your head.”

“This isn’t funny.” You retort trying to keep from smiling at her foolishly grinning face.

“Actually it is...but it’s also SOOO adorable. You managed to find two most virtuous, honorable, and probably chivalrous men on the planet, and managed to get them both to chase you. You are just amazing.” You can’t help laughing.

“Amazing mess, maybe, yeah.” You laugh again. You hear knocking and know it must be Bruce. Nat opens the door. In comes Bruce, he smiles at Nat. She’s about to close the door when Steve pops in with a tray. It is filled with bacon, eggs, French toast, juice, and fruit.

Nat looks at you smiling as Steve is moving to the other side of the bed, wanting to ensure Bruce has room to work. Steve, after setting the tray down on the dresser, turns to watch Bruce examine you. Nat shuts the door then turns to you, a huge smile on her face. “Chivalrous…” She smiles then you both start giggling for a moment. She smirks at you while moving to help Bruce get situated for the examination.

“Hey, Y/N. I heard ya had a nasty run-in." Bruce smiles at you. "Steve wants me to give ya a once over. You okay with me checking you over? I’m not a medical doctor.... but I can see what I can find."

“Yeah, Bruce. I’m good." While, Bruce, takes your blood pressure you look over at Steve. "When we're done I need to go talk to Cas and Sam.” Steve just nods at you.

“I’m sure you do,” Nat comments playfully. You shoot her a look. Steve looks between the two of you suspiciously. Steve makes the decision to talk to Nat later about is going on. Obviously, Nat knows more than he does at this point.


	14. Chapter 14

“Any word on how Y/N is doing?” Cas asked Sam.

“Not, yet,” Sam asks looking up at Cas. “Apparently Bruce Banner just got there. They are going to look her over. Steve flew Banner, Romanov, and Stark out. They basically took over the B&B.” Sam laughs. “That ought to be a sight.”

“I’m going to see what’s going on,” Cas says simply then disappears.

Sam just throws his hands in the air. “Great! I’ll just wait here then.” He says to the empty bunker. Dean’s missing, Y/N's hurt. This is the worst hunt he has been on yet, and it isn’t even done.

Cas appears outside the B&B. He stands there for a moment trying to figure out what he should say. This is the first time he has seen Tony in over 20 years. Although he, himself, wouldn’t have aged a day, Tony will have grown from a young man, into a fully-grown adult. 

Walking in the front door he sees a lady named Charlotte. She appears to be a little flustered. He surmises she must be the innkeeper. “Which room can I find Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

She motions to the stairs at the far side of the room. The staircase appears to separate the lobby from what seems to be a parlor. “Just follow the crowd,” she says sweetly. Cas thanks her and nods, he is about to head up when Charlotte asks him. “Are you with Mr. Starks group? He booked all the rooms I had left.” She explains.

Cas nods. “No Ma’am. I do not require sleeping quarters. thank you for the courtesy." He moves to head to the stairs when Charlotte speaks again.

“I have never seen such commotion,” her voice is flustered, and Cas just continues on. He feels for the women, but she is not his priority.

He finds the hall, seeing several doors along the hallway. He is about to start opening every one of them to find you when he sees a man step out to one. The door is about midway down the hall on the left. It takes Cas a moment but he recognizes the man like Tony Stark. Tony sees him freezing in place. Tony turns to look down the hall to another door. The door Cas assumes is Y/N’s room.

“I thought you were at your bat cave, waiting for the bat signal?” Tony whispers trying to avoid drawing the attention of the others down the hall.

“I am here to see if she is O.K,” Cas says trying to move past him.

“Steve told me about what happened. Your team is unhinged, they got her hurt. No wonder why she ran to me, to us.” Tony throws in his face. Cas is not in the mood for this right now.

“There is more to the situation than you know.” Cas grits. Trying to move around him again.

“I think she needs to be with her family to rest and recover right now. She doesn't need to have to deal with the mess she left behind.” Tony retorts. Cas is glaring at him. For a second, Tony flinches but then he stands his ground.

“I am warning you…DO NOT PUSH me.” Cas says his eyes monetarily glowing a bright sky blue. Tony feeling fear balling up in his stomach still refusing to let Cas cause more problems for you.

“And what are you gonna do? Smite me?” Tony snaps. Cas has had it. he holds his hand out levitating and then forcefully throwing Tony down the hall. Tony landing against the huge armoire at the end of the hall. The armoire shakes with impact but stays put. Tony landing softly the only thing hurting is his ego.

Walking down the hall Cas hears voices coming from a door. He knocks lightly before opening the door.

Stepping inside, Cas is just in time to see Dr. Banner stepping back you on the bed. Your left eye is swollen and back and blue. Despite that, you seem to be in good spirits. He steps forward, filled with pain and regret to see you so battered and broken. He wanted to heal you last night, but Steve refused to let him, or Sam touch you. He carried you to the car himself and wouldn’t let go of you Sam reluctantly drove you to the B&B after which Steve refused to let them take you to the bunker. Cas has never gotten the chance to heal you. Now he was going to fix that, and no one was going to stop him.

Banner backs into Cas while Cas is approaching your bedside. Steve quickly moves to move the bed tray to your lap so that you can eat.

"Who are you?" banner asks Cas.

"Castiel, a friend of Y/N..."

Nat hears Cas from the end of the bed. She gets up moving to stop Cas from disturbing you, but Steve speaks up first. “He’s a friend. This is Cas” Cas looks around to everyone and nods. He needs no introduction, already knowing who they are.

The ones left in the room stand by watching you and Cas with interest. He moves closer to you, turning to see him, your eyes meet, he smiles. “You need to stop hurting yourself, Y/N.” Cas jokes placing a hand on you. A white light emanating from where he is touching you. “I’m not going to be around to heal you forever.” He is smiling as he sees you giggling at his joke.

“Ok…” Bruce says in awe. “Who are you? I’ve never seen anyone…” Bruce reaches toward you, turning your head. Looking for any trace of the bruising that was there. “How did…”

Before Cas could respond you grab Cas's hand telling Bruce. “He’s an angel.”

Bruce’s face turns pale. He looks at Cas then you. He plants a hand on his forehead. “You can heal people.” Bruce looks at Cas.

“Yes, but what was done to you. I cannot fix. It has altered you at the molecular level.” Cas says matter of fact way. “You and he. You are one now.” Cas sighs turning back to you. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes,” you reply weakly holding his hand. Silence filling the room. Everyone gathers up, wanting to see what just occurred. 

The gathering is interrupted by Tony. Tony throws the door open.“Rematch…MR.…Angel...man.” Tony blurts out. You take one look at his disheveled appearance and break out laughing. Cas just gazes at him a dismissively.

“Cas?” you squeak trying to stop laughing, and catch your breath. “Cas, what did you do to Tony?”

“He wouldn’t let me see you,” Cas replying like an obstinate child.

“Cas…”. You use a scolding tone

Nat tries covering her face to hide her smile. The image she has of Tony getting his ass handed to him by an angel.

“I just moved him,” Cas says quietly

“Into an armoire, on the other side of the house! I want a rematch. This time without surprise attacks.”

Cas turns to Tony. “I told you to move.” Dismissively he turns back to you. “I don’t want to bother you, but Sam has been up all night. Do you know where Dean is?”

You are about to answer when someone clears their throat from behind Tony. Tony moves to the side and you see Dean. He has a very prominent 5 o’clock shadow. His eyes are red. You can tell he has been crying. Dean is looking around the room taking in everyone. Bruce and Tony move to the side deciding to leave. They tell you different excuses to leave, but you know the real reasons is because they don't want to be in a room that has both Steve and Dean. Bruce's excuse is getting too crowded for his liking and Tony's excuse is that wants to discuss some improvements for with F.R.I.D.A.Y for his rematch with Cas. 

You can see Steve looking at Dean, his fists clenching and his jaw setting. You can see he is about to punch Dean, you quickly grab Steves hand. His eyes switch to yours and you nod to him then say. “Can you get me some of the great homemade syrup for my French toast?” you ask him, and he nods. Leaning in to kiss you softly, you wrap your arms around Steve. The kiss filling you with love. You sense the kiss is him sending a message to the others in his own way. Steve pulls away turning, glaring at Dean, before he leaves. Nat shrinks into the chair in the corner. Your eyes meet hers and she smirks at you, then waves at you to carry on. You know she is not going anywhere until she figures out who this new arrival is, plus she seems intent on watching the show.

Cas turns to Dean once Steve was gone. “Where were you?” Cas grinds out and Dean turns on him grabs him by the collar and backs him into the wall.

“You just couldn’t leave her alone, could you?” Cas is glaring back at Dean at the mention of your name. Cas then turns to you.

"You slept with him...last night?" Cas looks to you, hurt and confused.

You are already sitting up on the bed ready to break them up, but you freeze. You look to Nat who looks more surprised than ever. "You're Dean? The Dean?" Dean looks at her. 

"Yeah, sweetheart. And you're Natasha Romanov." He turns back to Cas. "And to answer your question, yeah, in the parking lot on the hood of Baby...Yout turn..."

Cas looks at you again, and you look away. You feel unable to breathe, your chest tightening.

Nat can see you having an anxiety attack and moves to try to defuse the situation. “Ok guys,” she says pushing Dean back slowly. “Let’s breathe for a minute, here.”

“Natasha, You don’t know me, and if you put a hand on me again, I will PUT you back in that corner!” Dean growls to Nat. She just steps back and crosses her arms in front of her.

“And I DON’T CARE who you are, but if you start to a fight in this room, I WILL put you THROUGH that window.” She motions with her head to the window across the room. They both look and see you staring at them, a terrified look on your face.

The look on your face getting Deans attention. He gives you a second look before turning back to Cas. Nat notices Dean backing off. She returns to her chair, staying attentive this time. “Cas, why her?” Dean motions to you.

“Because, Dean...I love her.” You freeze. Cas never told you that. He never put words to his feelings for you. “I have since she came to stay with us. But you cared for her and I wanted to give you a chance. You needed... need happiness, I thought she would give you that.” He says looking down shuffling his feet slightly.

“Cas, you never told me.” You whisper. “Why?”

“I want what is best for you. With me, you can’t have children. They would be Nephilim” Sadness filling your heart, knowing that he is right. Life with Cas would be difficult if not impossible being that he is an angel.

“So you just what? Decide to have sex with her anyway!?!” You see Nat adjusting in the corner like she is watching a good drama. That is what your life has become, a big drama, you think shaking your head.

“Dean that is not fair.” You shoot at him.

Dean spinning on you. “None of this is fair. That’s life, or did you forget that living in the fortress of solitude with your rich friends and government connections.”

Nat moves to confront Dean, but Cas beats her too it. “Dean, I know you are hurting, but I CHOSE that life for Y/N, not her.” Cas turns to Nat. “I thought the best place for her would be with all of you. She would be familiar with the operations and lifestyle.” Turning back to Dean. “So if you want to get angry for ANY of this blame me not her.”

Dean visibly calms. He hangs his head. “Cas…I just don’t understand,” he says quietly. He turns to look at you, tears in his eyes. “I care about you, I would have tried to give you what you wanted but you just left. I thought that it was because we weren’t enough. I thought that I didn’t make you happy. Maybe our way of life was too much for you.” He moved to sit next to you on the bed. “I just got so pissed when I found out that it was ME that you wanted to get away from.”

You look into his eyes, then at tears falling slowly down his cheeks. You can’t help but pull him in for a hug. “Dean,” you whisper into his ear, holding him close to you. “I thought that you didn’t want any of that. Your life is hunting, not a house, kids and a dog,” You feel tears falling from your own eyes now. “I moved on, Dean What I felt for you, Dean, is gone. I’m sorry.” You feel him tense and pull him closer trying to keep him calm.

It was while you are holding Dean that Steve returns. He standing in the doorway holding your warmed maple syrup. Seeing you hugging Dean, Steve figures you must have made up. Deciding to let it go, for now, Steve walks over to you. Steve glares at Dean, a promise that they will talk later. Steve is will in tot let it go now but definitely wants some answers as to why left you alone in a knowingly dangerous situation.

“I have your syrup warmed up.” He raises the syrup to emphasize it. “Charlotte says if you need the rest heated up just let her know.

“No it’s good,” You smile at Steve. Dean moves away so you can eat. “Gimme, Gimme Gimme,” You exclaim playfully reaching out like a toddler for their bottle. Steve and Dean both laugh while Cas and Nat shake their heads. The tension in the room broken

“Well, it’s good to see you still have an appetite,” Nat adds, as Steve sits next to you on the bed.

“This is not how I pictured bringing you breakfast in bed, but I guess it works.” He smiles at you then looks at the audience around them. His eyes land on Nat. "We still have an unsub out there of unknown origin. We didn’t get it last night, just the lackey.” Nat nods getting into business mode.

“Wait! That bastard is still out there?!” Dean looks to Steve, then Cas in complete surprise. “I thought you were right behind him.”

“We were.” Cas answers. “He just wasn’t the one. He was a…lackey.” Cas finishes using Steve's word.

“Awesome” Dean looks to you. “Did we just put a target on your back then?” he says to you.

The idea has never occurred to you until now. But now that it is spoken you realized that may be the case. Steve speaks from next to you. “So, NOW you are concerned about Y/N’s safety, how convenient.”

Dean is about to retort but looks away. He knows he was wrong. Now he just needs to find a way to fix it. “Does Sammy have any leads?” he asks Cas.

“No. But you should call him. He has been up all night worrying about you. We both have.”  
“Cas, you don’t sleep.” Dean points out grabbing his phone.

Cas stands there looking at you, watching you eat your breakfast. He always loves watching you. The very human things consisting of your daily routines. He finds beauty in them, in how you do them. Just as he gets lost in thought, Nat asks him a question. “So how did you all meet Y/N?”

“Well, we were on a hunt in Minnesota. It was a vampire nest. Vampires are real.” Cas clarifies. “Sam and Dean were finishing off the last of them. I heard a shuffling noise in one of the upstairs rooms. I went to make sure it wasn’t a vampire. I got to the room and find Y/N crawling out of a closet. She had hidden in a secret storage area. The rest of the sorority was killed but she survived.” He looks to you with admiration. “She didn’t have a place to stay. We couldn’t leave her there. They would assume, she had killed all those people. So we took her in.” Cas looks at Steve. Steve nods back a silent thank you. Nat looks at you, her heart going out to you. She can relate to what you had gone through. “She never wanted this life. She stayed out of a sense of obligation, to Sam and Dean, who helped her. She grew to care for them. We became a family, but she always wanted to be free. When things didn't work between her and Dean, she decided she had enough. That was when I brought her to you.” He nods. "I never regretted the choice." Cas looks at Dean. Dean looks at him sadness in his eyes. "even though it took her away from me as well."

“Well, now that storytime is over. Cas, Sammy may have a lead,” Dean informs Cas. “We’re going to go check it out. You coming?”

“Of course.” Cas answers standing up.

“Where we heading?” Steve replies moving to head out with the group.

“Whoa, hang on,” Dean says putting his hands up. “I’m not getting my self in more shit with Y/N. If you get a scratch on that pretty face of yours Y/N will have me roasting over a spit.”

“I am going to make sure this thing doesn’t come after Y/N.” Steve steps up to Dean. Dean having a very slight height advantage over him.

“Fine. Fine” Dean says throwing his hand in the air for emphasis. “Anyone else coming? The big green guy or the flying tin can? How about you sweetheart? You going to join our band of merry men?” Dean shooting at Natalie who is sitting quietly in the corner the whole time.

“Nah, I'll sit this one out, I think Y/N and I need some girl time.” She looks at you. You are just sitting there trying to picture these two groups together. The images making you feel caught between an outburst of laughter and fear. This was either going to go terribly bad or terribly good.

“Perfect,” Dean says. He looks as if he is about to leave. Instead, he turns walking over to you. He is standing in deep thought for a moment. Then he says under his breath “What the hell!” he leans in and giving you a simple kiss. Before you know it the kiss escalates into a full-blown kiss. Putting your hands on his shoulders you attempt pushing him away, at least mentally. Your body, however, has other ideas and you just let him kiss you. It is soft and passionate, but needy. It communicates everything to you he can’t put into words. Dean pulls back a smug look on his face. He looks at Steve as he stands up and walks out. Acting as if kissing you in front of everyone is the most natural thing in the world. The surprise on your face making Natasha break into laughter. Steve shoots her a death glare. Steve is unsure of how he should react.

Cas, however, used to this display from Dean. He walks over to you kissing you on the forehead and puts his forehead yours. “We’ll finish this love, we have the best with us, don’t worry.” You nod as Cas pulls back still holding your hand. He drops it to the bed leaving the room allowing Steve a moment.

Steve is standing there, looking at Natasha, she nods excusing herself for a second. You watch her leave and turn to Steve. His chest heaves in a huge breath. “Well, that was fun.” He sits next to you.

“Thank you for not punching him.” You smile at Steve, he just nods.

“He deserves it, both for leaving you last night and again for…” He can’t bring himself to say it. “For just now.”

“Still, thank you. Dean is complicated.” You nod taking Steves hand in yours. “He doesn’t compartmentalize emotions very well. He’s kinda an all-in guy with everything and that includes his feelings.” "Which is true once he accepts said feelings." You think to yourself.

“You got it Doll, I love you,” he whispers and leaning in to kiss you softly and sweetly. You pull him in wrapping your arms around him. He deepens the kiss. The kiss awakening something inside you and you moan into the kiss encouraging him to pull you closer.

Before you know it, what little of what is left of your breakfast along with the tray itself is falling on the floor. Steve shifts on top of you. The sound lost on you both. Steve continues to kiss you deeply his hand sliding around your back pulling you into him. He rolls you both over onto his back. You move, straddling his hips your hands moving up his chest, his hands resting on your hips. You grind down against him feeling him through your thin shorts. You move to kiss down his neck, Steve pull your face back to his and begins to kiss you feverishly.

Nat just smiles and Tony tips his head to the side, then says. “Bruce and Thor soooo owe me fifty bucks each now.” Nat slaps him. “Ouch” he plays hurt. You both hear them. You look to moving off of Steve. He is now moving away from you to climb off the bed.

“So much for privacy” your shoot to Tony.

He just rolls his eyes at you. "You just had a party's worth of people in here two minutes ago." Turning to Steve. “So Nat says we need to suit up? I figured we might. I got yours in the other room along with your shield.” Steve nods to Tony. He turns giving you one last look. You see the longing there. It stirs the butterflies in your nether regions.

“I'll see you when I get back” There is a promise behind his tone that makes you want to crawl under the covers and scream like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

You jump off the bed, ignoring Tony and Nat and give Steve one last crushing kiss. "You better hurry." Steve leaves with Tony closing the door behind him.

Your eyes move to Nat who is just fanning herself with her hand. “What have you been doing here?”

“Nat.” you try to dismiss her.

“No. Don’t you do that. Don’t you get all dismissive with me.” She looks to the door, making sure it is closed. “You have three HOT guys readying to kill each other for you. What is THAT about?”

“That,” you pause. As you sit down on the floor trying to gather most of the fallen breakfast and dishes, then getting up placing them on them onto the dresser. “Is my past and future colliding.” You turn trying to find Nat. She moved and is now sitting at the end of your and Steve’s bed.

“So…Steve is your future?” She asks you. You hang your head. “I’m not sure. I thought so. That is what I thought... until Cas told me how he feels, or rather showed me.”

“About that…” Nat pat the bed next to her. You move to sit down “How is it with an angel? That has to be mind-blowing.”

“I don’t know. Nat, I don’t feel like talking about my sex life.” Seeing the disappointment on Nat’s face you sigh. “He is sweet, gentle, and considerate. He allowed me to control everything that was happening.

“Aww...so sweet.” Nat gets a mischievous look on his face. Her expression telling you this isn’t over yet. "And Dean...?"

"Dean is more of a take-charge guy. Very experienced, very dominating, but always makes sure you are satisfied before he is." You look at her willing her to stop asking.

" But he's your ex? Are you considering?"

"No. He may care about me, hell he may even love me but we can never work. He lives for the work. I need a life beyond all this."

"Hun, Steve, He would be lost without a war."

"I know...but he can compartmentalize, Dean can't." You answer hoping she'll let if go.

"Soooo....What is up with you and Steve?”

“That’s easy, you saw it.” You smile welcoming a change in subject however slight.

“So you haven’t gotten down and dirty?” 

“Nope.” Just some heavy kissing and a little over the clothes but nope nothing.

“But you want more, with Steve.” She adds to get clarity.

“I do, but I’m not sure what is going on with us. and then there’s Cas.”

“But Cas told Dean straight out that it wouldn’t work because of him being an angel?” You nod. 'Nat makes a good point', you think.

“I know about that. But that is only if I want what he can’t give me. I did want that once upon a time, but now? Now, I am not so sure that is a good idea. My life just isn’t normal. And no matter who I chose, it will never be normal.” Nat looks to you and nods.

“But at least you have a choice.”  
>  
“I’m sorry, I know”

“No it’s okay, it's the past.” An uncomfortable silence settling over the room. You are going to say something to cheer her up, but she just pops up and exclaims. “So ya gonna show me around this crazy town?”

You're startled by the sudden shift in mood. Smiling you say, "Okay just let me go shower and change. Just give me a minute.” You start grabbing your stuff and head to the bathroom.

“Okay, I’ll go let Tony know what we have planned so that he doesn’t get all…Tony on us.”

You smile, laughing softly, “Ok.”


	15. Chapter 15

“I have no idea what I am doing here.”

“Cap, it’s not that hard. You touch the green button with the phone symbol, and it will place the call.”

“THAT... is not what I am talking about!” Steve’s voice is low and lacking the confidence that is usually there. This fact is not lost on Tony.

“I know…” Tony puts down his tablet and leaning against the small dresser in his room. “You didn’t expect there to be competition. But the angel swept in and now both you and James Dean Jr. are out of your minds.” Tony stopping himself from going on seeing how completely destroyed Steve is looking. Instead Tony changes his tactic, “You thought you could just stroll over, batt your pretty eyelashes, flash your smile, and she would just swoon.” Turning to look at Tony, Steve is about to protest, but Tony cuts him off holding his hand up in Steve’s face. “I know not completely correct, but in the ballpark right?”

Steve hangs his head, Tony always seems to have a good read on situations without even asking. “I just thought I could show her how I feel, tell her and that would be enough.”

“Well, old man, it would have been…say….60 years ago. Times are different now and dating is very different.” Tony turns back to his tablet, picking it up putting in another upgrade idea as it is coming to him. “You have the fangirls. You can easily just pluck one out of a crowd. You have the more reserved gals, who are looking for a good guy who will treat them well. A guy who will make them forget all the bad relationships from the past. These are the types of girls you'll get using you would be the girls you’d get with your dating tactics. Steve, out sweet Y/N, is neither of these.”

Steve shifts on this feet looking at Tony waiting for him to explain. Tony remains silent. Steve knowing what Tony is after is trying hard not to give in. Tony wants Steve to admit he is in need of help with women. Steve knows Tony is charming and charismatic and could have any women he wants. Tony still can actually, but he doesn’t. Tony has found his love, and doesn’t need to look anymore. 

Steve has found who he wants too but is struggling in the making her his part. Steve sighs giving in to Tony’s ego. “So what kind of girl is Y/N?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Tony says smiling smugly. Steve is instantly regretting asking, but he has to admit he needs help. “Y/N is a rare creature. You can’t swoon her or convince her to chose you, you have to let her decide to choose you.”

“And how the HELL do I do that?”

“Language Cap!” Tony smirks. Tony is loving the hold he currently has over Steve. “Just show her you're the right choice.” Steve’s is looking at Tony even more confused. To Steve Tony seems like he is talking in riddles.

“Uh-huh,” Steve says. Already thinking that maybe he’d have better luck talking to Natasha.

“Com’ on now Cap. Why do you think she was drawn to you to being with?”

“I was the only single guy around?”

“PFFT…No. And BTW I think you have already forgotten Thor and Banner?”

“Thor is never around long, and Banner has a thing with Natasha from what Y/N told me last.”

“Really?...Huh.” Tony deciding to put that information away for use later.

“You aren’t helping…” Steve stands up heading to the door. At this point, he just wants to go see if Bruce has any ideas on how to track the unsub.

“Wait! Cap! I DO have an idea, it's quite simple really. Just step back.” Steve looks at him as if he was crazy, there are two other men vying for your affections. Here's Tony telling him he should just step aside? “I’m not saying give up, but don’t push.”

Steve looks interested, curious as to where Tony is going with this. “Ok…so I just what watch her get hit on and do nothing?”

“No…I am saying don’t push her. The more you pursue her the more she will run, right to them.” Tony looks at Steve making sure Steve sees where he is going, but Steve remains confused. “Ok here let’s put it this way. She is confused, feeling torn, not sure who she wants, you see that right?”

“Yes.”

“Her mind is probably overloaded with all these people telling her to do this or that…”

“I guess…yeah I can see that,” Steve admits.

“So instead of adding to the chaos in that poor girl’s head, be her beacon, her lighthouse.” Steve looks down at his feet trying to sort out Tony's analogy. Tony can see him working out the problem, but his impatience gets the best of him.

“Instead of being just another person, chasing her pushing her to do something, filling her head with reasons why she should do something, for example, chose you.” Tony gestures to Steve. “Let the others push her to you.” Steve’s face lights up. “Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.” Tony walks over putting his tablet on its charging dock. “Boy, it must be a maze in your mind. I’m amazed anything gets in there.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve responds sarcastically. 

Tony just waves him off dismissively. “Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding…Better yet name one of the kids after me.”

Steve turns to leave, opening the door to see Natasha on the other side. “Hey, Steve." 

"Natasha"

"yeah, you three really did a number on Y/N. She doesn’t know which way is up.” Steve looks over his shoulder to Tony. Tony smiling, no beaming, loving being right.

“I know…I’m going to go talk to her,” Steve says softly.

“Sam, I know I messed up ok?” You are pacing with the phone at your ear while trying to gather things to take a shower.

“Y/N, you had sex with Cas...Y/N...Cas. Deans best friend! Then you had sex with him too! That is going way beyond messing up.”

“I don’t know how it happened! Cas and I were just talking, then we were kissing, and it just escalated from there.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No…yes…I don’t regret being with Cas, but with Dean yes. I just regret that I was with Dean at all." You sigh, this is all such a mess. "I don’t know how I feel about anyone right now. I thought I had it all figured out. Before I came back here I was sure that Steve was the only guy I wanted. I had left things behind with Dean. I didn’t even know Cas has feelings for me, well I did but…”

“Wait! You knew Cas had feelings for you? Since when?”

'Oh God, now you just put your foot in it.' You curse yourself. “Since he kissed me… The day he left me in New York.”

There was silence on Sam's end of the phone. "Sam..." you say into the phone thinking he has dropped the phone, or you are disconnected. “Y/N…that was over three years ago.”

“I know” you feel guilt seeping into you.

“Wait!!! He kissed you and then just left you there!”

“Yeah! …he has had feelings for me for some time, apparently, but didn’t act on them because of Dean.”

Sam did his little sigh, you hear him through the phone. It tells you that the situation is now getting even more difficult for him to handle. “Yeah. That sounds like Cas. He always puts Dean ahead of himself.”

“Yeah” you agreed.

“What do you think changed? He doesn’t seem to have a problem with it now?”

“Steve.” It suddenly dawned on you. "They saw me with Steve. It must look like I am slipping away from them. The more they see me with Steve, the more threatened they feel. Steve is the reminder that you am going to be leaving them again. Possibly for good." You tell Sam as you yourself are realizing this truth.

“You think they see him as a threat and decided to try to do something.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Did you tell Dean how you feel about Cas?”

“I really haven’t gotten the chance. Once Dean found out that Cas and I had sex last night, he kinda came unhinged.”

“That’s why he did what he did at Shep's last night?’

“Yeah…” you finally get everything together for your shower. “Hey, Sam, can I talk about his with you later, I need to get in the shower. Then and Natasha wants me to take her around town today.”

"No problem, Y/N. Thanks for filling me in."

"Thanks for listening." You hang up the phone tossing it down on the bed. You turn to head to the bathroom, but you freeze. Steve is standing there. His face is pale, he has a tear tracing his left cheek and you can see there was a similar trail on the right.

“Tell me what you just said that to push Dean away.” Steve choked out.

At first, you are unsure of what he was talking. Then it hits you like a punch right in your gut. He heard you talking to Sam about Cas. You feel tears in your own eyes now. Being unsure of what else to say you you tell him the truth. “I…it just happened.”

That is all he needs to hear. He turns walking out slamming the door so hard it breaks in half with the impact. You immediately burst into tears. None of this is what you wanted. You just crawl onto your bed and curl into a ball, willing the world to go away.

Steve is barely holding it together. He has never been so hurt before, or angry. He isn’t angry with you. He is angry at the situation you are finding yourself in. In his heart, he knows that if the two of you had not come here none of this would be happening. The two of you would be getting closer to forming an actual relationship. He flies out the door and getting on his bike. He doesn’t know where he is going, he just knows he needs to leave. He needs some time alone to sort this mess out in his head.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean pulls the Impala up to the bunker. He and Cas not saying a word to each other as they ride to the Bunker from the B&B. The silence is deafening, but neither knowing what to say to alleviate the situation, so they decide not to say anything.

When the pair walk into the bunker they find Sam with an arsenal laid out on the war table. “I’m trying to be ready for anything,” Sam says calling to the two hearing them move down the steps.

“Well we may not need all that Sammy, we’re going to have a backup.”

Sam turns to Dean to see if they have other hunters with them, Jody, or Donna maybe? “Dean?” he looks to his brother confused when he sees no one behind him or Cas.

“Y/N’s NEW 'family' will be joining us.” Dean’s tone is low, blunt and does not sound happy, so Sam simply nods. He knows that Steve and the rest of the Avengers are a sore spot for Dean, not so much though for Cas.

“Cas...” Sam looks to Cas. Cas looks at Dean then back at Sam.

“Sam.” Cas moves to sit at the table full of weapons. Dean sits down across from Cas.

“SO…” Sam says testing the room. “Should we talk about it?”

“There is NOTHING to talk about Sammy!” Dean growls. He glares at the two men, first at Sam then Cas. “Cas fucked Y/N. What more is there to Say? It's done! Apparently I’M the past, according to her. CAS is the future!” Dean shouts motioning to Cas. Dean standing up quickly, throwing his chair back stalking off heading to the kitchen. Sam presumes Dean is heading off to get a beer or something stronger.

Turning to Cas Sam locks eye with him, waiting to hear has happened since last night. Cas, trying really hard to avoid Sam, suddenly finding the edge of the table very interesting. “Cas...” Sam starts knowing that Cas is trying to avoid facing this.

“Sam. Don’t.” Cas pleads, looking up at Sam. "I am NOT going to apologize from my actions. We are two consenting adults. Adults who care very deeply for each other. We did nothing wrong.”

“Cas, we’re talking about Y/N!”

Sam mentioning your name seems to stir something in Cas. Cas getting on his feet instantly, slamming both hands on the table in front of him. The loud bang bringing Dean running. He is holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. Cas looks between the two of them. Standing up as straight as possible saying very loudly and firmly. “Yes, Sam. We are talking about Y/N. Y/N! Who, up until recently, has always had our respect and admiration. We would have never disgraced her by discussing her such her in such away. Fighting over her like she is property”

Dean is standing in the entryway frozen. and Sam swallowing hard. Cas eyes the brothers then continues. “I will not allow you to talk about her, or …” he turns staring pointedly at Dean. “Fight over her like she is some object, to be possessed.” Cas stepping back from the table waiting for either man to say something. When they both remain silent he turns and walks to the door. “I need to go Y/N’s in distress.” Then he disappears.

“Well, that’s just great!” Dean shouts at the ceiling of the bunker.

“I just talked to Y/N. She was about to take a shower.” Sam tells Dean confused as to what just happened.

“Oh, that is just SOO much better!” Dean says laughing. “What's he gonna do! Go bone her in the shower now?” Dean's aggravation and bitchiness finally rubs Sam the wrong way.

“Dean!” Sam shouts at Dean. Dean just looks at him. Sam glares back at Dean. There is a silent conversation between the two. After a moment, Dean punches one of the chairs at the table. “Sam, this is Cas. He KNOWS how I feel!”

“Yeah, he did. That’s why he waited until now to do anything.” Sam speaks quietly trying to calm Dean. “He gave you 10 years to tell her how you felt.”

Dean drops down into one of the chairs, knocking back a huge swig of his beer. His frustration deflating as his body goes limp. He knows that Sam is right. He never told Y/N how he felt. Sure he flirted, hinted at various things, and even fooled around with you. But when the mention of a relationship was brought up by you or anyone, he’d shut down. He didn’t want you to get hurt.

“Sammy, it's this damn life. You know what happens to people we get close to. You of all people should know. I couldn’t let anything happen to her.”

“Are you going to hide behind that forever?”

“I’m not hiding from anything. I'm just stating the facts. We don’t have the greatest track record with keeping people alive. I mean. dammit Sam, look at how many times WE died.” Dean motions between the two of them. Even Cas has died four or five times.

“So that’s it. You’re just gonna roll over and never open yourself up to the possibility of ever finding love. Never settling down?” All Sam feels for Dean now is pity.

“Is that a bad thing? The one person that fit into my crazy life bolted. What else is there to do?”

“Well, the Dean I know... He would fight for her. He wouldn’t just give up.”

“You’re telling me to fight Cas…for Y/N?”

“I’m telling you to not give up. Just make sure she knows how you feel. Tell her. Let her decide. Right now, the only person who is that doing anything to show her how they feel is Cas. Look where that got him.”

Dean considers this taking out his gun, beginning to clean and prep it for the mission. After a few moments of silence, the room is filled with banging. Someone banging on the bunker door.

Sam looks to Dean, they quickly load their guns. Sam hold his gun close, as he and Dean start up the stairs. At the top of the steps, Dean turns to Sam, Sam nods, ready for whatever is behind the door. Dean reaches over from the side ready to pounce on who or whatever is behind the door. The banging returns one last time as Dean opens it.


	17. Chapter 17

Nat grabs her purse getting ready to head out with you. On her way to your room, Nat sees that Steve is just coming out of your room, and he does not look happy. Nat wants to step in and see what was going on. She definitely wasn’t going to try to ask Steve, she made that mistake once before when Peggy had died, and she was not about to repeat it. She just nods and goes on to talk to Tony. She has time to talk to you on their girl’s day. She just decides it needs to be a day of ice cream and shopping. “Tony, what’s up with Steve?”

“Women…what else.”

“He doesn’t look too happy, did he talk to you?”

“Well, of course. Who among us is the ladies’ man…Wait don’t answer that…Who among us besides Point Break is the ladies’ man.”

“Well…” Natasha is about to remind Tony, Steve has the most female fans of the whole group. Before she can Tony interrupts her.

“You are taking Y/N out today, right?." Nat nods at Tony. " Good, HSe needs some time to clear her head a bit.....and maybe you can use some girl talk to convince her that Steve is the best guy for her.”

“Tony! I am not…”

“I don’t mean like brainwash her or anything.” Tony goes on ignoring Natasha’s protests. “Just remind her that Steve is…you’ll know. I don’t want a moppy Cap running around the tower for the next 3 years while Y/N is stepping out with some other guy. It would kill the moral.” Tony jokes, in truth, he will never admit it he is hurting for Steve. Steve has not loved a single woman since Peggy. Now, From what Steve has told him, he loves Y/N even more than Peggy. A love like that can destroy a man if it went unrequited.

Natasha decides to use this as the perfect moment to fund her girl’s day out. “You know female bonding requires food and copious amounts of shopping…maybe even something a little special for the twilight hours. Since Steve and Y/N are sharing a room…”

“AHHH! …Great! Now I have to acid wash my eyes and my brain! That image will never go away. Here just go!!” Tony hands over his wallet to Natalia, who just smiles and walks out. “Just tell Jarvis how much you spend, Pepper will kill me if I don’t let her know.”Nat walks away with Tony calling after her.

Natalia makes her way to your room. Expecting it to be only you inside, but stops hearing voices and stopping, debating on whether or not she should go in.

“Cas! You can’t just pop up like this. What if I was in the shower or not dressed?” You are happy to see him, but if he had shown up when Steve was here it would have been a huge brawl.

“I’ve seen you naked before. I don’t understand?”

"Cas, Dean talked to you about knock and personal space, right?”

“Yes,” Cas squints his eyes, considering it for a moment. “Is this one of those moments.”

"Yes!" You sigh. You adore Cas, but the intricacies of being human always elude him. “Yes, Cas it is.”

“I apologize. I meant no intrusion. I was sensing you were upset, I wanted to ensure you were okay.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Reaching out, you and grab his hand pulling him to sit on the bed with you. Sitting by you folding his hands into his lap he looks at you. You sit there silently, figuring out how to tell him what you are feeling. Hoping maybe by talking to him you can figure out how you really feel. But instead of talking the tow of you sit in comfortable silence. Just having Cas there is comforting to you, his presence calming you.

“I'm about to take a shower.” You say meekly. Not wanting him to leave, but unsure if he would wait.

“I can join you,” Cas replies. He gets up off the bed with you removing his coat.

“NO!…” You stop and collect yourself. “I mean... no Cas, I’m fine. I wasn't asking you to join me." You feel flustered for a moment. "I... I'll just be a minute. Cas you to stay here until after I get out? Please?” Cas sits back down.

“Yes, I can do that.” He replies looking at you.

“Thank you.” You say to him kiss him quickly on the cheek and grab your things for the shower.

Cas sits there watching a bird bouncing from branch to branch on the large oak outside your window. He is jealous of that bird's simple life. Its life is not filled with all the complications of human emotions and relationships. He considers how damaged his relationship with Dean is. Since Cas showed his affections for you the relationship is now going quickly from strained to volatile. He knows he needs to repair their relationship he just doesn’t know how. He wants to call Sam and ask him, but he knows that Dean is there at the moment. If he were to call now it would lead to conflict between Sam and Dean. He has caused enough conflict in Dean’s life. Cas does not want to add more. He decides to wait quietly for Y/N to return from her shower. After another few seconds, he hears a loud bang from the bathroom. He rushes to the door and knocks softly, “Y/N…you okay.” He hears nothing. He turns the door handle, it turns easily, he pokes his head in seeing Y/N was standing in the shower her silhouette outlined by the frosted curtain. Pausing for a moment admiring the beauty of her shape. “Are you okay?”

“Shit!” Dropping the shampoo, a second time and pull the curtain back partway to see Cas standing there in his usual suit minus the tan trench coat and suit coat. “I’m fine Cas, just dropped the shampoo again.” You tell him from around the thin shower curtain.

“I heard a noise, you didn’t answer when I knocked.” He offers, explaining himself.

You sigh. “Let me rinse my hair I'll be right there.”

Cas looks around the room then sits on the toilet seat. Waiting.

You finish rinsing your hair and step out, looking for the towel. Cas hands it to you, you take it thanking him. Taking a moment to realize he is standing next to you while you are completely naked. “Um…Cas…I don’t have any clothes on.”

Cas, looking you up and down. “Yes, I know.”

“We just talked about this.” You say to him. Your face is turning red. realizing he is stepping closer to you.

“You said you’d be right out,” Cas says as if explaining everything.

You can feel your stomach fluttering. His proximity and your nakedness betraying your attempts at self-control. You look down trying to remember where your towel was, then realizing it was in your hands. You made a weak attempt at covering yourself, despite the fact that your body was being drawn to the angel in front of you. The angel who now seems to be closer t but still far too far away.

Cas seems to sense your conflicting emotions closing the distance between you. Bringing his arms around your waist, pulling you into him and kissing you deeply. The kiss awakening your body. Electricity shoots throughout you making you moan into the kiss. You drop your towel in favor of wrapping your arms around Cas’s neck, he, in turn, picks you up and carries you into the bedroom laying you on the bed him half laying on top of you keeping one foot on the floor. Your fingers fumble with the buttons on his shirt tugging at the tie around his neck. Cas moves to kiss down your neck. The feeling making your body respond, you are pressing into him forcefully needing to feel him more. He is moaning against your skin his breath making your skin tingle.

Cas starts to climb onto you completely but then there is a knock at the door. Your brain is ripped back into reality. You realize what you are about to do, again. “Cas. I'm sorry, I can’t” you whisper to him. “Not now, not here.” Cas nods in understanding. Rolling to the side so you can get up. You quickly grab a t-shirt and shorts that happen to be laying on the chest situated at the end of the bed. You realize once they are on that they are Steve’s and  
a new wave of guilt washes you  
.  
You rush to the door to find Natasha on the other side. “Are you okay. I saw Steve leave and…” She stops when she takes in your room and the person sitting on the bed, tie all but off and the top four buttons undone. “I’m sorry I'll come back.” Nat apologizes, about to leave.

“Wait, no. I’ll be ready in a minute.”

“So you’re going with wet hair and in…” She looks you up and down with a knowing look. “Steve’s shirt?” she smirks seeing the shocked look on your face. Natasha turning to ook over your shoulder pulling your eyes to Cas. A knowing look on her face. You know you have some explaining to do.

“Umm… Well, it is warm out?” you say trying to make a last-ditch effort at covering up what was really going on.

“Nice try…” she smiles but points to Cas with a thumb. “Explain the rather disheveled angel on your bed then.” You look to Cas then back to Natalia. Shame fills your face.

“It’s not what you think…” You are trying to explain the situation away. Looking to Cas with an apology on your face. You don’t want to belittle whatever it is that is going on between the two of you. You just don’t want to admit to anything, or label anything, until you know what is going on in your mind and heart.

“Oh…” Natalia says nodding slightly as she looks the room over once more. “So you weren’t making out with Cas after you had a shower.” She smiles slyly looking at the two of you and shaking her head. She wants to laugh and would have if it wasn’t for the fact that one of her good friends stood to be heartbroken by this situation.

“Well…” you try to find an explanation for the situation but can’t. “I just…”

“Y/N. Your lips are kiss swollen, you haven’t even brushed your hair from the shower, which you do religiously.” She smiles. Your looking t the floor knowing you’re caught. “I would have said he took a shower with you, but he isn’t wet and he’s well...partially dressed.”

“Please don’t say anything.”

Natalia just nods. “Got it. But I have to ask.” She turns to Cas. “Is Y/N going to feel God’s wrath?" She is joking. You can tell she is but you doubt Cas will get the sarcasm. "I mean she deflowered and corrupted an angel of the lord. That has to be up there with one of the seven big ones, right?”

Cas was about to say something, but you decide it would be better if you handle this. You put a hand out to stop Cas he looks to you, you smile at him. “Well, we know God, Cas’s father, as Chuck, and well…” How do you tell someone that Chuck could give a rip about is happening here on earth? “Chuck has a more modern view of the world these days. But at the moment he’s off with his sister Amara.” You finish.

By the look on Nat’s face, her dropped jaw, and wide eyes, you had a lot more explaining to do. “You’d met God as in the Big “G”, and he has a sister.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be such a big leap,” you motion to Cas.

“Ok girl we really need to talk.”

The next hour, the three of you spend talking about God aka Chuck, Amara, Cas’s fall from grace, and his time with the Winchesters. By the time you are done, you have gotten dressed, changing into a real outfit befitting a day of shopping. Having Cas and Nat in the same room makes it easier to change without feeling self-conscious of Cas. Maybe it is because of the incident this morning or because Cas is busy answering all of Nat’s questions, either way, you are ready to go. 

You are about to head out when Cas’s phone rings. Cas looked at it, then to you. “It’s Dean.”

“Well answer it.” You tell him.

Cas answers the phone, putting it on speakerphone. He has no reason to hide that he was with you. It was his intent and Cas has made it known to Dean and Sam.

"Cas, we found where the target might be. A small cabin about 30 minutes from the west side of town.” It is Dean’s voice, he sounds better, not as angry as he was this morning. Probably due to the mission progress. Either way, you decide to try to attempt to fix the damage from last night.

“Hi, Dean.” There is a long moment of silence.

“Y/N,” Dean answers back. You hear a small shuffle, you assume he just put you on speakerphone as well. “So are you okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You give Cas a confused look.

“I thought you were in distress, that is why I came.” He reminds you.

“Oh, she was in distress alright.” Natalia chimes in. There is a long moment of silence.

“Y/N. We may need some backup on this, is Mr. Stark there?” Sam’s voice comes through the phone. You can tell everyone is trying to ignore Nat’s comment. From sounds in the back round, Dean caught the meaning of Natasha's comment, full well.

“Yeah, he’s doing some adjustments but he’s ready. I'm not sure where Steve is though. We…he’s not happy with me at the moment.”

You hear some voices in the back and then Steve's voice comes over the speaker. “Y/N, I’m here. I found the cabin...I went out for a drive.” Your heart jumping into your throat. He knows you are here in YOUR room with Cas, but Nat is here too that had to mean something right?

“Are you okay?” You ask Steve.

“I’m fine, we do need to talk later though...if that’s okay?”

“Yes, I want to talk to you too.” You sigh, glad he is willing to talk to you. You catch Cas watching you out of the corner of your eye. You place your hand onto his and give it a squeeze.

“Yeah...Yeah...Yeah…” Dean gets back on the phone. “Save the chick flick for later. Hey Cas, we need ya here bud.”

“Of course,” Cas replies.

“I’m coming too!”

“NO” you hear from three male voices protesting through the phone. You know better than to argue. If they all can agree on something, you are definitely not going to fight it.

“Fine!” you pout.

“Good” Sam seems to have taken the phone off speakerphone. “We’ll leave as soon as Cas and Mr. Stark get here. Stay safe… Y/N”

“You too…” you pause for a moment. “Tell my guys to stay safe too, keep an eye on them for me.”

“Will do,” Sam replies looking at Steve knowing where your concern is directed before hanging up.

“I need to go,” Cas says looking at you.

“OK." You move in fixing his shirt. You don’t want him showing up to the bunker in his current state. At the moment, looking like someone who has just snuck out of his mistress’s house. Misinterpreting the move he pulls you in kissing you softly catching you off guard. The kiss soft and brief, when the kiss is over, he is gone.

“Wow. I'll never get used to that.” Nat says. 

You, however, go into a panic. Dean for sure will take in Cas' appearance know what was happening between you and Cas. If Steve is there he will easily figure it out by Dean's reaction. Sam will have his hands full. “Natalia, we need to let Tony know he will want to suit up before he gets to the bunker.”

Natalia looks to you for a moment before she realizes what you were talking about. “Oh!”


	18. Chapter 18

Sam puts his phone down on the table. “Well Tony is on board, and Cas is on his way”.

“Well, that shouldn’t take long. Now we need a plan,” Dean says trying to figure out their next step. Steve moves to examine the weapons on the table, he debating on calling Tony. He wants to remind Tony to bring his gear. Before he can call he hears something similar to a vacuum, turning he sees Cas. Cas is disheveled and it only takes a moment for Steve to put it all together. Rage fills him, but he pulls it together. He wants to give you the chance to explain, no more jumping to conclusions. So instead he focuses his anger on the mission and not his allies. They seem like rivals under other circumstances, but not these. Dean, however, has no such restraint.

“Cas,” Dean grinds out pushing himself to keep in mind what Sam had said to him earlier. “How’s Y/N?” sarcasm drips from his voice but Cas chooses to ignore it.

“She’s ok, now” He turns to Steve. “She was very upset when I got there but after a shower, she seemed visibly improved. 

Cas's comment gets Steves attention. Steve’s knuckles are turning visibly white, Dean looks about ready to jump over the tabled and kill Cas. Sam knows he needs to divert attention from Cas’s appearance. “So, what do we know about this cabin.”

Steve pounces on the chance to move on to the case and away from the pain. “From what I was able to see. I’d say there is nothing within 5 miles of the place. I only happen on it because I was trying to find a quiet place to collect my thoughts." He considers this for a moment, then he finishes. “We’re going to have to go in on foot from a distance.” He looks to the group. “The location is chosen for a reason, privacy, but more so security, anyone that comes within a mile of that cabin is there for one purpose. There will be a perimeter.”

Sam shrugs. This would not be the first time they had to infiltrate a high-security area. But it would be the first time they would do it without knowing what they are trying to get to.

“Well, this will be fun.” Dean grinds out. Sam looks at him, then gestures with his head to Cas. Sma is trying to encourage Dean to at least try to rectify things with Cas. Dean shooting him a “No” look, to which Sam shoots him a bitchface gesturing again. Dean throws his hands in the air and says “Fine,” then looks to Cas. “Can we talk for a moment, in private.” Cas looks confused from Sam to Dean then Steve.

The two get up, Cas following Dean. Dean stopping for a moment. “Anyone need something to Drink? I think we're going to be planning for a while”

Steve looks at Sam who smiles back, not sure what to say. They look back at the table, Steve plotting a plan on a notebook.

“Dean, I don’t want to fight. I'm tired of fighting my friends. I am following my feelings." Sam and Dean did that all the time, he always took his cues from them. Why was this suddenly wrong now?

“I just want to talk,” Dean says quietly. He leans against the counter looking anywhere but at Cas. “We need to get this… we need to come to an agreement.” Dean is not sure how to put it so that Cas understands. Cas simply nods.

“I know there is something going on between you and Y/N. You know that I still care for her, and I’m not the only one.”

Cas nods. He is aware of this but feels firmly believing he has the upper hand. “So what must happen before this is settled.”

“I’m not sure,” Dean admits. "I guess that is up to Y/N. But we need to agree that no matter what happens...that we.." Dean gestures between himself and Cas. “stay together. We're family and nothing comes between that.”

Cas is moved by this. He smiles at Dean and nods pulling him for a hug. The two sit in silence for a moment then Dean says, “So…Cas…I know why you are drawn to her...but damn. When did you turn all Don Guan on me?” Dean jokes. “Never thought I’d be competing for a girl with you.” Dean chuckles patting Cas on the back. Dean gets up going to the fridge for beers. He pauses thinking twice about it then turns heading to the coffee pot instead.

Sam is just sitting there, watching Steve over the top of his laptop. Sam has so many questions but doesn’t know where to even begin. What was it like fighting aliens, living with the Avengers? Did he prefer the 1940’s or now? Instead, starting with something closer to home and more current for him.

“So how’d you meet Y/N?”

Steve looks up slightly puzzled at the question. Then he smiles, welcoming the opportunity of the distraction, especially this kind. The memories of you flooding back to him.

“Well it was about three years ago, and she was fairly new at the tower. I was looking for Stark and we both ended up on the same elevator together.”

***************THREE YEARS AGO************************************************************************************************

Steve is standing hands clasped in front of him. Tony has summoned him to his office again. Steve only hoping it isn’t about this ridiculous party he is throwing. It is always the same type of people, all paying through the nose to some charity or another to rub elbows with THE Avengers. Steve hates these parties, but he also needs to show. It is part of the agreement they all have for housing at Avengers tower. It is a PR nightmare waiting to happen, and Steve is getting tired of playing the gilded monkey. But Steve continuing to go believing it is good for the charities. This is what he keeps telling himself as the elevator rises. He continues to remind himself over and over it’s a pain but for a good reason.

The elevator stops 3 floors down from his destination. He steps back allowing whoever is about to board room. The doors opening to you. You step in your face turning red immediately. Steve has used your reinteraction from new employees, especially women. Steve for some reason with you he finds it adorable, you are blushing. The expression on his face making him laugh inside. The feeling warming his heart. He nods to you. You shyly smile back.

Steve stands next to you but slightly back a bit watching you quietly. He determines you obviously work here. “So...when did you start?”

You jump a the sound of his voice breaking the silence turning to Steve, you answer. “About a week ago.” You look down the elevator floor. Steve understanding why he has never noticed her until now. He's been gone on a mission for over a week. “I work for Tony. I got the job, as a favor for a friend.” You finish smiling.

Steve is now intrigued, knowing Tony doesn’t allow many people to keep in him in their debt for any reason. “Is that so?” Steve asks. 

You are trying to figure out why he was talking to you. “I don’t know the details,” you respond.

“So…” Steve continues. “Where are you working?”

“I’m Tony’s personal assistant. Well...one of them anyway.”

Steve is impressed. That position is one everyone in the company covets. At least everyone looking to move up. “Must have been some favor,” Steve replies, fishing for more information. You offer nothing anymore. Your eyes focusing on the elevator doors waiting for them to open. “Steve... by the way." he holds his hand out. You hesitate taking it in yours. “Y/N” you shake it. The doors opening, you both step out. You glance at Steve. Then trying to ignore him you turn down the hall to Tony’s office. Your heart racing a smile a minute. Seeing Steve was something, you had a crush on him for a long time, but when you shook his hand you feel something different. You felt connection electricity that you have never felt since that day Cas kissed you. the feeling he is giving you scares the hell out of you. Steve feels the same thing. Intrigued he follows trying to keep in step with you. Halfway down the hall you stop and turn to Steve. You just want to get away from him and the feelings he is causing you to feel.

“Can I help you.” You spin on Steve, there is a mix of attraction and frustration in your voice. Steve notices and this makes him smile again. “Nope, I’m good just heading in to see Tony.”

You give him an odd look, and start walking again. Both of you and Steve reach the office at the same time. Steve opening the door for you. You smile and nod stepping inside. Steve following behind.

Tony is wandering standing in the middle of the room working on different screens. He seems to be studying some type of military base. Steve knows exactly what Tony is looking at. He quickly walks over joining Tony. You remain standing there looking on in confusion. You were sure Tony was no longer involved in military contracts.

“Where is this?” Steve asks.

“Canada” Tony answers.

After a moment you realize, this is an avenger mission. You panic wondering if you are even supposed to be seeing this. You turn to head out to the door. 

"Y/N." You hear Tony's voice calling out to you. "This involves you, too." 

Steve's gaze spins onto Tony than to you. "Tony..." Steve's voice dripping with concern. Tony holds aa hand up stopping Steve from saying more.

You look between the two. Steve's reaction making you remember how Dean used to do the same thing. You step forward in between Tony and Steve, studying the screen. “Where are the monsters? I'm assuming I'm here because this is not your usual bag?” you ask. Tony ignoring the fact that Steve is about to protest, but looks to you. Your change in demeanor and your knowledge making him more curious about you.

“This is Hydra. Steve has been fighting them for close to 70 years now. They’re like a virus.”

"Then why me?" You ask Tony, "I don't know anything about Hydra, well not much?"

Steve looks at you. Hyrda has been a pain in his side since he was part of the SSR. “Well, time for a lesson." He looks at you and smiles. Tony knows the expression on Steve's face. The only other time he's ever seen that on his face is when he talks about Peggy. Tony decided right there that he need to play matchmaker. "They’re a secret organization that started under Hitler. They are tech group originally led by Johann Schmidt. When I Schmidt disappeared into a portal into space, the group splintered off. I thought I had eliminated them years ago, but they just went underground until recently." You simply nod. Working with the Winchesters always brought weird stuff your way, taking all of this new information in cams easily for you.

“We need to get a team together to head up there see what’s going on.” Tony turns to Y/N. “And I need you to go with. We’re going to need onsite analysis so we don’t miss anything.”

You nod, Tony knows about your past and knows you can handle this easily. Steve doesn't and panics as he looks between you and Tony. “Tony, I don’t think she should be in the field,” Steve says tipping his head to you. This pisses you off, reminding you way too much of Dean.

“I don’t need you to hold my hand. I can handle myself, Captain.” You glare at Steve. For a moment, you remind him of Peggy and his heart begins racing. Peggy had guts, ti was what drew him to her. Her fierce determination and take no prisoners demeanor, it is the same thing that draws him to you.

*************************************NOW******************************************************************

“That was our first mission together. She was a great help. Without her, we wouldn’t have found the 2 dozen children that were hidden under the compound. It was also on that mission that I saw how extraordinary she is. I guess I owe some of that to you. Your little group here trained her well. She’s invaluable to our team, to me.” Steve finishes taking a sip of the coffee Dean had brought. Steve nodding to Dean in thanks.

Hearing the end of how you ended up with the Avengers team, how you and Steve seemed to hit it off almost instantly, it really hits the guys hard. They felt betrayed by your ability to move on so easily. Dean looks to Sam, Sam shifts in his seat seeing in Deans face what he feels, Steve was in love with her, there was no way around it.

“How did you all meet her? She said she met you while she was in college?” Steve asks figuring a little quid pro quo would help create some unity between himself and the other men.

Sam looks at Dean, Dean looks to Cas, Cas shrugs. Dean just plants his hands on the table and sighs.

“Sam, Cas and I had heard from Donna, a local sheriff and fellow hunter, that there was vamp nest in the area. Donna could’ve taken them out herself. So we all drove there. When we got there, they were already feeding on a sorority. Sam and I went to work on taking out the vamps while Cas went to find and evacuate survivors.”

********************************************************13 YEARS AGO**************************************************************************************************************

“Dean! Behind you!” Sam yelling across the room to Dean. Dean turning in the direction Sam is looking swings his machete taking off the vamp’s head. The head falls with a thump on the floor, blood spits onto the walls and ceiling as Dean moves onto the next room. As Dean moves into the hall, he sees Cas heading up to the final floor. “Cas, find anyone yet?” Dean calls out to him. Cas shaking his head, the look he gives Dean telling him they should have gotten there sooner. Dean nod's voicing Cas's thoughts “We should have come sooner,” Dean says to Sam. Sam joins him in the last room on the floor. The death, and destruction of the innocent girls weighing on him.

Cas is moving quickly through the last rooms on this floor. He is glad to see that there aren’t many people here. Most of them appear to have been gone for some reason or another. Their rooms empty. He notes the glass scattered on the floor at the end of the hall, now realizing how the vamps got in. He thinks maybe the girls ran down to the lower levels when the vampires attacked. He decides to finish checking the rooms. Finishing Cas goes back down the hall to check on the brothers. Getting to the last room, he steps in. There are signs of a struggle, a tiny amount of blood on the floor. Cas looks around making sure the room is clear. He is about the leave when he hears a whimper and a few soft thumps coming from the closet. Looking into the closet, he doesn’t see anything. He's about to turn away. Out of the corner of his eyes notices a small seem in the back of the closet. It would go usually go unmissed if he had not suspected something there. He knows someone, or something had made that noise and he's guessing the source is behind this panel. Cas pulls out his angel blade just in case tapping lightly on the panel.

“It’s okay, they’re all gone.” He waits a minute. Hears nothing then knocks one more time. “Well, I’m just going to sit over here by the window, when you’re ready I'll be here to help you.”

Cas sits down by the window near the closet and waits for a minute. He faintly hears the panel pop off slowly. He pulls his blade closer to his side, watching as a young girl, no more than 20 crawls out. Cas keeping his distance watching as you emerge from the closet. Cas seeing Sam and Dean out of the corner of his eye he raises his hand to stop them at the door. The pause in confusion but wait.

“Who are you?” She says to Cas.

Cas just smiles and figures he’d just come clean. “My name is Castiel. I’m an angel.”

"Y/N." You maintaining your distance for the moment. Fighting the desire to run to him.

You sit there on the floor looking at him for a long moment debating if he is real. He doesn’t move to attack, just to stand up. He actually seems genuinely concerned for your safety, so you make the decision he is at least not a threat. Jumping up and running to him, jumping into his arms. Cas's arms wrap around you. There is an instant feeling of warmth and safety there, and the smell of fresh sea air filling your nose. It's at this moment Cas falls in love with you. You trusted him so completely in an instatnt, after such a horrific event. He can sense your soul and his mind screams for it to be with him. The complete trust she places in him 

Dean and Sam see the commotion and step into the room. They are glad to have finally found at least one survivor. Cas nods to them still holding you in his arms while you cry with relief. You sense Cas nodding to someone and slowly release him. You turn to see who is there still clutching to Cas’s side, not willing to let go of the safety you feel with him. “Who are you?” she asks moving to hide behind Cas.

"Y/N, it's okay. They're friends." Cas says softly to his side at you. You look into his eyes grabbing his hand moving out from behind him.

Dean watching you entwine your fingers with Cas' and raises an eyebrow. “I’m Dean, and this is my brother Sam.” Dean motions to Sam. “And Tall dark and handsome there...” He says pointing to Cas. “is Castiel. We call him Cas.” You look at Cas. Then the men again. You move away from Cas slightly but keep holding onto his hand for comfort. “I’m Y/N.,” you tell them.  
*************************************************************NOW************************************************************************  
"She left the sorority that day. Coming to stay with the us in the bunker. She started out with researching everything she could get ahold of on the supernatural." Dean motions at the library walls. " As you can see that is a hell of a lot. "It is a start," she'd say. "So I'll be better prepared for what is going to come next." 

"It ends with her becoming the best researcher they have ever seen. She didn't only do research for us, but also for other hunters." Sam adds a sense of pride in his voice.

“And I still do…on occasion.” You chime in, coming into the bunker at the end of the conversation. "Now boys...I got in here without a peep from any of you." you smile as Natalie who is keeping a stoic expression. "Sloppy!" you say in a sing-songy voice. You can't help feeling happy to see them are all sitting around talking, not fighting.

Steve shoots up immediately, turning to see you. Your eyes meet his. You want to run to Steve, to apologize for everything, but then you see Dean and Cas. You are reminded that this is neither the time nor the place.

Tony senses the awkwardness, breaking it up with a well-timed joke. “So...this is what the bat cave looks like on the inside. Neat…” He looks around. “Could use an update. Let me set up with my people.” He finishes looking at Dean and Sam. “Hey Cap, what’s the plan?” Tony asks as he plops down on a chair next to where Steve is now standing.

Steve looks down at Tony then back to you. He wants to go to you as you make your way over to the table. Natasha moves the opposite way nodding at Cas, Dean, and then Sam. She takes a chair at the end of the table. You move to Steve and pull him into a hug. He pulls you in almost painfully close and puts his face onto the top of your head breathing in the smell of you. “I’m sorry.” You say to him. He stiffens and just replies. “I know” the reply is both positive but painful. Letting you know he will forgive you, but that he is hurting.

You pull away from Steve as Dean walks up to you. He holds his arms out and you walk into them “Glad to see you all getting along a little.” You whisper into his chest, the smell of whiskey and leather filling your senses.

His arms wrap around you a little more and he leans down to your ear and whispers. “Yeah, I’m trying.”

“Thank you” you whisper back to him.

“I couldn’t stand hurting you anymore. Besides he’s not too bad once you get past eh self-righteousness.” Dean chuckles sounding like music to you.

“You ass!’ you laugh and slap him lightly against his chest. You feel a lot of eye on you and realize that what you just did may seem flirtatious.

“Hey now, save it for the bedroom,” Dean says a little louder. You tense feeling at least one pair of eyes burning into your back. You pull away from Dean and he just shrugs his shoulder. "Couldn't help it, sweetheart." You smile at him and shake our head. You were glad to see his flirty sense of humor was back even if it was directed at you.

You go to sit next to Cas. Steve is watching you move through the room to the table the entire time. You place your hand on Cas's shoulder. He smiles up at you and you smile back. Before you can sit, you see Steve, he is pulling your chair out for you. You smile at him and sit down. “So what is the plan?” you ask looking around the room. everyone remains silent for a second smothered by the elephant in the room.

The group formulates a plan of attack. The plan seems solid to you. Your part in the plan is to stay on standby just in case they need some last-minute info. Meanwhile, you and Natasha are still going on your shopping trip. You need the girl time and more importantly, you had come to a decision. You just needed to see where the decision would lead Hoping it would fix a lot of the problems you created when you first got here. You are also hoping Nat will keep your plan secret, at least until you decide once and for all.

Everyone goes their separate ways. The decision is made to travel separately from different directions to reach the cabin. Steve feels this is the best way to avoid drawing unneeded attention to themselves. You give each one a hug while they head out. Eventually, there are only people left. Natasha sits waiting in the car as you say your goodbyes. 

Steve is sitting on his bike looking at you. You walk up to him. You are feeling awkward and unsure. You are unsure if you should just hug him, kiss him, or just wish him good luck. It was never this weird with him before, but that was before Dean and Cas. Now your life is chaotic and confusing. You decide to just go with it whatever feels right.

“Be careful,” you say to him. Shuffling your feet ready to take his lead.

“I always am.” He says. You stand there debating on whether you are supposed to walk away now. “Hey,” he says. “Come here…” he grabs your hand pulling you to him. “I know that I haven’t been the most understanding lately.”

“Steve…”

“No, let me finish” Steve sighs. “You were thrown into this. You past thrown back in your face. THen I chose that moment to tell you how I feel and try to take us to the next step with us, on top of that.” He swallows hoping that this next part doesn’t blow up in his face. “I’m here for you. I’m not giving up, but I’m going to try to give you your space.” He looks at you trying to gauge your response. You look at him scared, wondering if this is him stepping away slowly. Your plan is starting to get better all the time.

“Steve, I don’t want to lose you.” You say to him. You lock eyes with him, and you see a glint of happiness behind the hurt he is feeling from trying to distance himself.

“You won’t,” his hand reaches up. His palm cradling your check while his thumb runs lightly over your lips, thumb caressing your jaw slowly. You look into his eyes and feel yourself gravitating to him. You feel his lips brush yours then he kisses the corner of your mouth. He begins to pull away and you throw your arms around him pulling him to you and off of his bike. You turn your face to his looking him in the eyes then to his lips and to his eyes one more time before leaning in. You press your lips to him. He responds by pulling you flush to his body. You open yourself to him and he deepens the kiss. You feel the love he’s giving you, feeling it pour throughout your body. He ends the kiss sooner then you would have liked. You look into his eyes and see happiness there. You decide to tease him a bit, both to be flirty and also to get payback at him for the briefness of the kiss.

“When you get back to the room,” You take a breath lowering your voice to a husky whisper, as you lean toward his ear. “I have a surprise waiting for you. I hope you can handle it” You step back to wink at him and walk away giving him a little extra swagger. You see him his jaw hanging open staring at you, as you catch a glimpse of him over your shoulder. You keep walking getting into the car where Natalia is waiting.

“I don’t know what you said to Steve.” She smiles at you as she starts to pull away past Steve who is just starting to get onto his bike. “But I could’ve landed the quin-jet in his mouth, the way his jaw was hanging.” You just laugh.

“Oh, you’ll find out.” You smirk at her and she raises an eyebrow at you.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Nat do some shopping and you finally spend the night with Steve.

Nat takes you out to shop at several boutiques in town. She finds a few dresses and two pairs of heels. You buy a few blouses, a couple of skirts, and a light blue chiffon dress you are sure Steve will love. When the two of you stop for a late lunch, you check your phone. Then decide to find one more store, not finding what you wanted at any of the others so far. You now there used to a store like this in town before. It is a store you threatened to take Dean to a couple of times when his flirting would get extra flirtatious. You finally find it. Laying the phone on the table. You smile while slipping the phone over to Nat. "We have one more stop to make before we head home," you announce a huge smile spreading across your face. She looks at you in curiously before, looking down at the phone. She spits out her soda and looking back at you.

“And who is this stop going to be benefiting.” She asks you slyly.

“I was thinking of surprising my roomie.” You respond and she laughs lightly.

“You’re thinking about killing him is more like it.”

You look at her with a devilish grin. “I’m sure his super serum heart can take it. Just not sure the rest of you can handle it”

Nat just looks at you and smiles, Glad that you see you softening to Steve.

You get back to the B&B late. After you finish shopping you and Nat head to the local bar and have a few drinks, shooting some pool, and taking time to catch up. Nat finally spills that she and Bruce are dating. She tells you that Tony is thinking of proposing to Pepper. You fumble with the keys for your room a bit, feeling a little tipsy, but think that’s a good thing. It is helping you to get the courage you need to follow through on what you have planned. Nat knows to make sure no one besides Steve come to your room for the rest of the night.

You light a dozen candles unscented throughout the room, creating a nice romantic glow. You place the fresh roses you bought on the dresser. You light an orange-vanilla-jasmine incense, the lady at the lingerie shop telling you it is a natural aphrodisiac from men, not that you need it. You are very confident Steve will be enticed by your choice in lingerie alone.

Once everything is set you hop into the shower. When you get out, you hear your phone ringing. Grabbing your towel you run to the phone, it is Steve.

“Hey, how’d it go?”

“No one was there. They moved out a few hours before we got there from what we found. Tony uploaded what he could and we loaded up what files they felt behind. We’re heading back now.”

" So...Do I have some work waiting for me?" You ask hoping what they found can at least wait until tomorrow.

"No, Sam is going to take a crack at them, W...the team thinks you need a night off." You catch his slip and know that he told them to leave you alone tonight. Something telling you that Nat must've talked to Tony.

“Ok well, I'll be here waiting with your present.”

“Not even a hint?” Steve whines slightly. You giggle at the childishness of it.

“Well, I bought it today.”

“Hmm…See you soon.”

You put down the phone, thinking about it for a second, pick it back up, turn it off and put it in the drawer on your side of the bed. If the team has an emergency or a break in the case they can either wait or knock. You go to the small bag sitting on the end of your bed. You pull out the three-piece lingerie set you bought at the last store you and Nat went to today. You knew the second you saw it that it was perfect. It has a silky blue top with a white star on each breast and red silk bottoms that fastened on the sides with a narrow Velcro strip. It also has a see-thru white open front shawl with fuzzy blue trim sprinkled with tiny red stars. You put the outfit on and wait.

About 15 minutes after you get situated on the bed, you hear the key to the door being used. You know who it is and quickly adjust your hair making sure it falls just right on your shoulders. The door slowly opens, and Steve freezes halfway in and halfway out of the door casing. His eyes going wide. He swallows slowly.

“You can close the door," you say softly. "Unless you plan on the company.”

Steve's eyes moving up your body slowly, taking in your curves one last time. His eyes moving to meet yours as he closes the door locking it behind him. He takes a step, pausing then clearing his throat. “Hey” he whispers still lingering by the door. You move off the bed slowly sauntering over to him.

“So, do you like your present?” you smile snaking your arms around his neck.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?” Steve replies with a smirk as he leans in and kisses you softly at first, but the kiss deepens quickly. You push yourself into him moaning into his mouth. His hands pull you incredibly close finding the small of your back. Your hands move down to the bottom of his t-shirt and begin to pull it up needing to feel his skin under your fingertips. Getting your idea, he begins pulling away from you, his lips the last to leave yours. He pulls the shirt over his head and removes his jeans as well. He then pulls you back to him, his lips returning to yours, full of passion this time. Your body reacts feeling you need growing in your core. That need spreading quickly your body. The sensation making it hard for you to stand. Your nails gently trace the contours of Steve’s back as you push your sex into him begging for friction. He rewards you by firmly planting both hands on your ass. His hands both pulling you into him and lifting you up he moves the both of you to bed. He gently lays you onto the bed never separating his body from yours continuously giving you delicious friction you were craving. Once Steve is fully situated on top of you, he starts to move, kissing you down your neck, gently moving the sheer fabric of the shawl as his lips reach your shoulder. Next, you feel the strap of the top piece of your outfit moving out of the way. The kisses become wet on your skin and you can tell he is getting needier for you.

You reach your hand down in between the two of you. You gently lift the band of his boxers, slowly moving your hand inside. You wait for a moment giving him the chance to stop you. Instead of stopping you he ruts into you hand moaning against your skin encouraging you to move forward.

You push your hand further into his boxers feeling his member brushing your hand. The contact makes Steve moan even louder. He moves back to kiss you again. The passion in his kiss increasing as you massage him inside his boxers. You gage his reaction to your ministrations enjoying the power you seem to have over him. The sounds he is making are making you feel bolder. You wrap your hands around him and move slowly up and down once to see his reaction.

He pulls away from you and gasps out “Fuck”.

“Language Captain.” You say slyly at him. He looks at you growling in aggravation. You can tell you are driving him crazy, and it increases your own need. You start to slowly move your hand in his boxers and he starts to pump into your hand.

You keep moving your hand as you capture his lips with yours. Your need is going beyond the point of control. After a couple more strokes you pull your hand out of his boxers and pull him to you, you whisper into his ear. “Make love to me.”

You are expecting him to reach down and pull off you red panties or attempt to remove his own boxers, but he just freezes, his eyes locking with yours. “I…” he turns red and pulls away. Heis now balancing on both elbows, his forearms on either side of you. “This is my first time.” He admits gaging your response.

“Oh baby,” You whisper to him, cupping his face in your hands. “If you don’t want this to be your first time, I understand.” His face goes pale.

“NO…I want to be with...fucking hell...I NEED to be with you. I just want you to know...in case...I disappoint you.”

“Steve....baby...You could never disappoint me.” To prove your point you pull him in for a deep passionate kiss. "All you have to do is kiss me and I turn to putty." Steve revels in your acceptance of him. His hand begin running down your side and plays with the side of your underwear for a moment. You feel his lips break into a smile as rips the tab from your side. He quickly switches arms and gives the other side a quick tug as well. You feel him remove the garment. He leans in to kiss you again as his hand gently rubs circles on your outer thigh. You move your hand back down to his boxers and then gently give them a pull.

“There need to go,” you tell him pouting a bite.

"God, you look so sexy when you look at me like that," Steve growls.

He quickly starts to shove the boxers down his legs. You catch one side with your toe and push them down the rest of the way. You could feel his erection pushing against your core. You kiss him deeply once more than pull back to look into his eyes. “Are you ready?”

He just nods to you and then asks you sweetly. “Are you? I don’t want to hurt you?”

You smile at him. “Well just push in slow give me time to adjust to you. You’re WAY bigger than I’ve ever had before. It will take me a second to adjust to you.” He nods. You feel his right hand moving down your side. His lips capturing yours. His fingers ghosting over your left hip then sliding in between the two of you. His fingers quickly finding your core and he begins rubbing you softly. 

"Is this good?" he asks you softly.

"God...yes." you moan, you can already feel your core aching for more.

"Then how about this?" he moves a single finger into you and tests the feeling slightly. You moan loudly and buck up against him. "THat's good?" he whispers in your ear.

"Steeve..." you moan. He pumps the finger in and out of you a few times, then adds a second. Steve's eyes flash with lust, his mouth forming a mischievous grin. “You're worried I’m going to be too big for you?” You look into his eyes feeling intimidated. You moan even louder. "Fuck..." you cry out as he hits that sensitive spot inside you. He leans closer to you, whispering in your ear, making what he says sound even dirtier than it is. “I’m going to make you so sore, you can’t walk tomorrow.” His eyes move back to yours and you have to catch your breath. Before you know it he adds a third finger, and you cry out. The thought of what he is going to do to you shattering your perception of him. He must sense how turned on you are by what he just said. He leans in his voice drops into a low growl, "Fuck that...I’m going to make sure you know how good I can be to you how good I can make you feel. You’ll be lucky if you can get of bed for the rest of the week when I'm done with you.' His voice and words driving you beyond the point of self-control. You are grinding into his hand recklessly as he keeps hitting your sensitive spot again and again. Your eyes meet Steves and he seems fascinated by what he is doing to you. He moves his hand faster in and out of you. You feel your release rising inside you. "Steve..." you pant. You quickly start moaning again. "Oh...Steve...Fuck...YES...." You are now writhing under and against him. He leans in kissing you just as you scream out his name as you orgasm hits you like a train. You feel your body shuddering with the power of it.

“God! I just need you inside of me!” you pant pulling him into a deep passionate kiss as you grind yourself into him and he moves into action. You feel him moving himself into position. His eyes locking with yours and you feel his tip against your entrance. The feeling of that alone making you moan in anticipation. You feel him push forward agonizingly slow, just like you asked. You can feel him stretch you. He gasps and closes his eyes trying to concentrate, pausing with just the tip in. His eyes open and he looks at you. He doesn’t say anything but the look on his face tells you that he is trying really hard not to just ram into you.

“You can move a little faster.” You reassure him, he nods, his breath catches as he slowly gets himself halfway into you. "FUck baby, You ARE tight....are you sure I won't hurt you?" You are throbbing at this point your body crying for more. You decide to take initiative knowing Steve was moving slowly to accommodate your comfort. You kiss him softly then increase it to a passionate kiss and without warning, you buck you hips up to meet his, the pain making you scream into his mouth. "Y/N...FUCK!" he gasps into your mouth both in surprise the move and the extreme pleasure it brings him. The pain you were feeling is now gone and you moan in pleasure at the fullness he is giving you. You still for a moment enjoying kissing him. Ending the kiss, you look to Steve who seems content to lay still encased by your womanhood. You smile knowing he is in for a real treat then.

“Baby. When you're ready, you can move.” You whisper in his ear, then give his lobe a nibble for extra encouragement. You want to give him full control. Letting him explore the new sensations.

Steve slowly pulls out about halfway then pushes back in hard. "God you feel so good." he moans sounding completely recked already. 

He starts out with a slow steady pace but picks up the pace as he discovers what makes you moan louder for him."You do too baby..." You whisper then moan loudly as he moves out of you again. He moves you cup your face kissing you as his pace picks up. You quickly feel your climax rising as he moves slightly faster finding a rhythm. You wrap your legs around his waist the new position bringing new sensations to you and he starts to breath heavier. 

He moves his left arm under the leg around his waist hoisting it slightly higher and leans in to kiss you as his pace quickens even more. The kiss covers the moans and screams of passion that are tearing through you and this new position combined with the increased pace has you seeing stars. Steve his pulls face away looking into his eyes. His eyes are heavily lidded as are yours. You are both lost in the passion you are bringing to each other. “Oh God Steve.” You cry out as he pulls your other leg to match the one, he already has lopped over his arm. You feel your walls starting to spasm knowing you reaching your climax.

Steve seems to sense it too as his tempo speeds up. He is now ramming into you. His hands are digging into your hips and the antique bed is slamming against the wall. With each slam, you are crying out a mixture of moan and his name falling from your lips. "STEVE!.....FUck...GOD YES...." You know you are going to hear all the jokes and innuendo in the morning, but you just don’t care. You are lost in Steve. Your orgasm is fast approaching, and you can't help the guttural moans that are coming from your mouth. Your moans spurring Steve, picking up even more speed if that was even humanly possible. Your feel your walls clench around him as you feel him spill into you. You are pretty sure, you screamed his name at the sensation. You definitely know you heard him call your name out. You’d never had a man call your name out during sex. Although you couldn’t blame him. This sex was the best you’d ever had, and you were glad it was his first time with you.

Steve continues pumping into you for another minute milking both of your orgasms. He pulls you to him and rolls onto his side he is still inside you and you snuggle up to him. Before you even have time to consider anything the two of you had fallen asleep in each other’s arms.


	20. Chapter 20

You wake the next morning still curled in Steve’s arms. Sometime during the night, he must have woken up. You have on pajama pants and t-shirt, and you are both under the blankets. Your back was to him, his arms were wrapped around you his warmth pressed against you. You felt safer now than you had ever let in your life. You felt home for the first time since you left college. You just lay there relishing the moment.

After a few moments, you feel Steve stir behind you. You twist around facing him. “Good morning sexy” you whisper kissing him softly.

He just smiles looking into your eyes. “Good morning to you beautiful”

You stare into each other’s eye for a moment. “Shower?”

“You read my mind” he smiles back at you and you climb out of the bed walking to the door you turn to him, motioning to him with your finger to him. He quickly follows behind you.

Once you get into the bathroom you hear Steve gasp. You turn to see what is wrong and see him looking at the bruises he left on your hips and inner thighs he begins feeling guilty for hurting you. “I’m sorry, I hurt you.” He runs his hand over the bruises slowly, focusing on them.

“It’s ok.” You turn his face to look at you. “Last night was perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.” Reassuring him, you kiss him softly.

You turn on the water adjusting it making it slightly hotter than usual. You step inside your stuff still in the shower from yesterday. Steve steps in behind you. You reach for the shampoo but Steve's hand clasps on yours and pushes it up against the shower wall. His other hand moving about the front of you dipping into your core, you main at the feel of his finger inside you. Your other hand round his neck pulling him down for a kiss. Moaning into his mouth as his finger is joined by another one and starts moving faster. You start to feel the tension building as he pulls out of you. You whine a teh loss. He quickly spins you around, bringing his hands to the backs of your thighs and lifts you up pushing you into the wall of the shower. you arms drape over his shoulders and he ruts into you kissing your neck then clamping onto your breast. His mouth nips at one then the other, moving between the two before recapturing your lips. He moves in closer settling himself in between your legs. You can feel his erection against your stomach and you moan at the thought of it being inside of you.

Steve leans his head next to your ear. "Patience, doll."

"Steve..." you moan. "If we take to much time, Nat..." You moan as Steve pushed three fingers into you. 

"Then I guess I need to hurry...dont...want....to ....keep...a lady...waiting." Each word is accented with his fingers hitting inside you.

"Steve..." You cry out. "Please..."

He says, "Ok doll..." as kisses you roughly to muffle you as he slams into you. You scream out as starts pounding into you roughly. You grab tightly onto his shoulders just trying to hold on. Steve pulled back looking at you. He looks ingot your completely blissed out face. He pushes your legs up higher and he starts hitting your g-spot and you start moaning frantically. When he increases the power of his thrusts you start screaming his name out. "Baby...call me cap-OH FUCK..." you cut him off as you squeeze around him with your release. He keeps thrusting into you. 

"God...Steve...I ...I can't..." You pant and groan. Despite your words, you feel another orgasm building inside you.

"i've got you..." he moans. Suddenly he pulls out he lets you down the spins you around so that you're facing the wall. "Hands on the wall." He grunts as he reenters you in one swift movement. "Fuck..."

You put your hands on the wall, deciding to test something. "Is this okay...Captain Rogers?" his hands tighten on your hips. He grans out as you this name.

"you are asking for it aren't you..."Steve growls out slamming into you harder but slowing down his pace. You feel his arms wrapping around your torso. "DO you trust me?" he asks still thrust ing slowly.

"GOd...Ye...Fuck." You try to spit out your second orgasm building quickly.

He pulls your feet in the air then quickly wraps a hand around your waist. The new angle driving you crazy. You can feel him deeper inside you than ever. He starts moving into you faster bot more shallow testing his grip. Feeling confident after a minute he starts pounding into you. Your grip moving to the soap holder as you start crying out in pleasure. "Fuck me...Christ...." you cry out.

"Oh...yeah...You take my dick so good." Steve pants out.

"Captain...god...harder! Fuck yes right...oh GOD!" you scream as your second orgasm hits you." 

Steve's trusts are starting to get sloppy his rhythm becoming erratic. He starts to lower your legs one at a time while still pounding into you. Afte both your feet are planted he moves his hand between your legs and starts rubbing your clit vigorously. " Oh...WHA...FUaa...."

"That's it, baby....You feel so fucking good...." Steve pants very loudly. " Just like...FUCK Y/N!" He cries out as you feel your body spasming around him as you are reaching your climax. He continues his ministrations on your clit while his thrusts start becoming frantic.

"STEVE....I'M....CHRIST...." Your orgasm causing you to almost collapse steve catches you as he chases both of your orgasms. As you come down you fall against him. "Steve..." 

"I've got you..." he holds you against him waiting for you to gain the strength back in your legs. While he kisses you softly up and down your neck. "You okay?

You nod. "That was...I..."

He smiles, "I've left you speechless...I'll take it." He says smugly kissing you softly. "Now we should actually get our shower over and get downstairs for breakfast."

"Only if you carry me..." You joke but he smiles. "Anytime doll."

After you finish your shower, you and Steve head down from breakfast. Steve carrying you on his back. The two of you giggling and laughing basking in the glow of morning sex.

“Good morning love birds,” Nat says to you from the far corner of the long table. The buffet is calling to you as you smell the heavenly smell of bacon and eggs. Steve carries you to the table across from Nat as the rest of the group watches you. Steve moves to put you down in the chair. Bruce smiles at you as Steve kisses you briefly before going to get food for the both of you.

“Good morning everyone”, you say to the table. The feeling of their eyes on you was making you feel odd. You knew this was going to happen but to actually experience it is still offsetting.

“Moring” Tony smirks at you, then looks at Steve. Steve looks back at Tony for a moment while he finishes topping your plate off with extra bacon. You see this and smile. Steve moves to sit next to you handing your plate to you, you grab a piece of bacon kissing him softly then whispering thank you to him.

“Glad to see you in one piece.” Tony snarks and both you and Steve look at him wide-eyed. Your face turning red, you can feel the heat feel form your face. Steve places his hand on your leg under the table and you look at him. He smiles at you and you instantly feel calm. But of course, Tony wasn’t done. “For a second there, I thought Steve had broken you in half, but then I figured it must have been the bed.” He smirks at his cleverness, Bruce chokes on his food, Nat giggles behind her juice glass, and Steve shoots him a death glare. Tony just meets his look and smiles. Then continues on. “F.R.I.D.A.Y please order Steve and Y/N reinforced beds for their apartments.”

"Right away sir." the A.I. answers back.

“Tony!” you shriek.

“Y/N, I’m only trying to make sure your furniture can hold up to your extracurricular activities,” Tony replies trying to sound innocent

“Tony,” Steve steps in. “What happens in a lady’s bedroom should not be discussed outside of it.”

Tony laughs briefly. “Well, I figured it is free game for discussion, when we are all invited to hear.” He retorts.

"That’s it!" You pick up your plate grab your glass of juice, “I'm going to take breakfast in my room, thank you.” You say leaving. You hear Steve coming right behind you.

“Don’t break any more furniture, I only put down so much for a deposit on the rooms” Tony calls after you, you hear Bruce scold Tony telling him to stop being an ass.

Once you reach your room, you start laughing. The situation was so ridiculous. Were you really THAT loud? When Steve walks into the room you smile at him and quickly finish your breakfast. He quietly watches you eat as he eats. He has three times the food. 'Him, and his damned increased metabolism.' You curse him for it.

“So what are your plans today?” Steve asks you before shoveling a huge spoonful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“Not sure…I was thinking of hitting on this really hot guy that I’ve had my eye on. Maybe trying to seduce him, but damn it! I did that yesterday.” Your snarkiness making him smile.

“Oh is that so?” Steve starts eating faster seeing where this is going.

“Yeah, it worked like a charm too.” You smile back at him.

“Oh did it now?”

“Yeah, a little too well. Now I think I’m stuck with him.” You smirk at Steve goading him

“I don’t know about that? Maybe it’s the other way around?” Steve teases.

“You think so?”

“I do.” The confidence in his voice makes you giggle.

“Well, maybe we need to test that theory?” You raise your brow at him over your juice glass as you finish the juice.

“Is that a challenge?” his voice deep with lust.

"Maybe." You smirk and raise an eyebrow at him. You set your tray aside finished, and watch him basically inhale the last few bites of grapefruit. He sets his tray on the nightstand and attacks your lips. You kiss him back softly and slowly pushing him away. "Slow down there cowboy." you giggle when he groans in frustration. "I have all day..."

Steve smiles back at you, the urgency there before, is now gone. " I think I can deal with that." He starts kissing your neck as his hands slip under your shirt. His lips moving to your stomach, leaving soft wet kisses at the band of your bottoms. You giggle at the feel of them. You place your hands on his shoulders then move them to his hair. Looking up at you, he smiles mischievously. In one quick move, he stips your bottoms off. His hands quickly moving to your hips holding them in place. His eyes meet yours for a moment before he slips his tongue in between your folds. You cry, out slamming you head back to the bed. "You taste so fucking good." he moans before punching his face back against you tongue driving into you.

"Sweetheart, I just started," Steve says against your core. The vibrations rumbling against you. He slowly moved his tongue in and out of you before moving to lap at your clitoris. You grab onto his hair as the pleasure starts to build in you. He continues to lick and suck on your clit as he slides a finger inside of him. You moan out as his finger moves in and out of you. He quickly adds a second and your hands go to brace yourself against the headboard. The motions of his fingers are starting driving you into it. 

"Fuck...Steve....GOD..." You cry out. "Where....How...." You lose the ability to speak when he adds a third while clamping fully onto your clit.

"That's...it, baby...let go," he whispers. The sound of his broken voice sending you over the edge. You feel yourself letting go on his face as he continues lapping at your juices. "Baby...I could eat you all day..." he whispers again. "But I think you might want something more than my fingers."

"GOD....YES!!!" you cry out.

"My...my..." He smiles at you smugly moving up the bed. " I think I might need some convincing..." He trails off then kisses you deeply. You can taste yourself on him and it makes you moan. You feel him pulling your shirt up over your head and quickly move to do the same to his. He pulls away quickly pulling yours off then letting you remove his. tossing the shirts aside quickly reclaiming your lips with his. His hand slowly moving down your side. caressing and grabs at your as he goes. When he reaches your hip he pauses. He pulls ways from you looking you in the eyes for a moment then kissing you harder as he moves to plunge two fingers into two in a single thrust. You moan into his mouth as setting a brutal pace. His lips leaving your mouth then moving down your neck, to your shoulder. He bites you and bit sucking and nibbling after alternatively. the feeling of him making you squirm a bit. "This way EVERYONE ELSE knows you are mine." He growls biting you and licking you one more time.

"Your...I'm your always..." You pant as you reach down between his legs. You need more of him, all of him. He completely stops moving. 

"Why don't I believe you..." He growls. You look at him with a mixture of lust and fear. "I think..." he starts, beginning to remove his sleep pants. "I need to show you where you belong." He grows. You are trapped under the feeling of a new level of arousal. Steve, showing this dominant side, was the biggest turn on you've ever seen.

"Please..." you beg again.

He tosses the pants aside. "Please what?" He grows a slight smirk on his face. You can tell he is enjoying this.

"Please...fuck me, Steve."

"Who?" Steve asks moving his fingers into your folds gently rubbing your clit, just enough to torture you.

You panic, unsure of what he is wanting, after a second it comes to you. "Captain...I want your big cock inside of me..."

Steve growls, loving you calling him that. He is about to give you what you want but..." I will doll, But first, your captain has something you need to do." He shifts slightly on the bed grabbing your hips. he flips you over as he leans back on his knees. "On your hands and knee for me." you quickly comply. He takes a breath unsure about how you were going to take this next command. "Turn around face me." You move to face him, you core dripping iwth anticipation. He gets up on his knees and gently moves the tip of his penis to your lips. He hesitates, unsure if he should proceed. You surprise him by opening your mouth and taking him in. You only take the tip in at first but then slowly move further up. "FUCK....Christ that....OH GOD!" he grabs your hair in his fists and slams into you, losing all control. 

You struggle to adjust. but eventually, you do. He keeps pulling your head on to him meeting his trusts. You can hear the bed slamming into the wall and Steve grunting and growling above you. The sound tuning you on. You move your hand to your clit rubbing furiously trying to help along with your own release. You feel his grip on you tightening and now that he is about to come. you move your hands to hold onto his hips. You want to give him everything he gave you. You main around him. "OH...GOD....Y/N...FUCK...." you feel him starting to cum. It hits the back of your throat sliding down. He slows his movements looking down at you. Once he is done you pull of him with a pop...You are still throbbing in need of him inside you.

"Y/N...I..." You see the guilt filling him. It is obvious he is feeling bad for taking you the way he did. You want to see this side of him again so you do the only thing you can think of to get him back.

"Captain...please..." You beg him moving your ass to face him, giving it a wiggle. 

Within seconds you feel his hands on your hips. He runs his hand over your core a couple of times then plunges his fingers in leaning over you. "So do you know who you belong to yet..."

You decide to push him, challenge him. Brin out hi dominance. " I...Steve..." He smacks you lightly on the ass with his other hand.

"No...You need more lessons," he growls out and your smile. 'There he is...' you wiggle your ass for him. He smacks your ass again. " Lean down.' He is using the tone he uses on missions now. You clench around him. You know now, you are in really going to be sore after this. He pushes you down with his free hand between your shoulder as he removes his fingers from you. You moan at the loss. 

"You will learn who you are..." He whispers into your ear. Then quickly moves to ling himself up to your center. " And you will learn that you are..." he thrusts into you hard shoving your face deep into the bed. You cry out as he hits your cervix. "MINE!" His hands going to your hips and he slams into you again just as hard. Your screams of pain and pleasure muffled by the bed your face is planted in. Your hands frantically search for something to hold onto. They grab onto the headboard in from of you. You can feel his hands digging into your hips as he slams into you over and over, his pace picking you to a steady rhythm, the headboard tapping in time to his trusts. You can feel your chest starting to burn, the friction of the sheets rubbing into you causing the burning feeling.

You turn you head to breath your moans and cries filling the room. Steve leans over you again pulling your hands under his pinning them ot the bed. "Who do...you....belong....to....!" he gorans into tyour hear thrusting into you slowly.

"YOU..." you moan wanting him to go back to fucking you.

"Almost...beleive you." He rams into you hard and you cry out in pleasure. 

"Steve...Captain....I love you...Only you I am yours....always!!" You cry out as you feel your orgasam builind at teh slow methodlcal thrust. His cock rubbing you just the right way.

"I love you too." His whispers softly against you your then pulls away quickly resuming his position kneeling behind you. Slamming into you with a renewed vigor.

"Christ...FUck....Captain.....GOD YES!!!" YOu scream out as he hits that sweet spot inside of you. He moves on of his hands from his hip to your lower back and starts pounding into you faster. YOu can here him panting a grunting.

"Sya it again..." HE grunts.

You know exactly what he wants. "FUCK ME CAPTAIN!!!! MAKE me yours!!!!" YOu are answered with an exxtremely hard trust followed by hi moving his hand to your clit.

"Come for me, baby. Come for your Captain..."

You are panting at this point, you know you are about to lose it any moment. " IS...THAT...AN ORDER?" you pant out and he growls. HE pulls you up against him, causing your head go blank. 

"Dont....sass me, little girl," he growls. You instantly come on his cock while he continues thrusting into you. You melt into his arms but he's not done with you yet. He moves his hands up to your shoulders, still moving in and out of you slowly. "Now lay down on you back, and spread your legs for me." He takes in a breath, "That's an order." you move quickly your body blissed out by the multiple orgasms you have already experienced.

HE moves over you slowly like a predator stalking his prey. He leans in kissing you. Without warning slams into you. You cry out into his mouth and he moans into yours. He quickly hooks your legs over his shoulders and sets a brutal pace. He moves his lips the mark he left on your neck earlier. Sucking and biting it again. You can help but cry out in pleasure as he fins and starts pounding into your sweet spot over and over. You move you run a hand between the two of you but Steve grabs it pushing it down next you, your head and does the other one with the same. "No dol...you are coming only by my touch alone. You need to remember you are mine." his eyes cutting into you. His expression scaring you. There is a dark possessiveness in his eyes. His lips go back to your neck at the spot he was nursing before extra sensitive now.

"Steve...I..." he thrusts into you with extras force iwtha single thrust. You understand. "Captain...I'm going to..."

"I know baby...." His lips meet yours. He spread his legs a little further and the rub up against yours his thrusts taking a new angle. Everytrust is hitting your spot and you cant help but scream in pleasure. He kisses you fro a few more second the moves to kiss down your neck you feel him leaving a matching mark on your other shoulder. His thrust becoming harder faster more frantic.

"Steve....GOD...I CAN'T....NO AGAI..." YOu cry out then your orgasams hit you both. Steve keeps moving inside of you slowly helong you and him come down from your high. Your eyes meeting Steves then you fade out.

Steve rolls off to your side checking your pulse. It is strong and steady slowing down. He pulls you to him kissing your temple. He quickly gets up washes up then brings out a cloth washing you down quickly too before climbing in bed next to you pulling you into him.

"Right were you belong, Y/N." he whispers to you kissing you atop your head.  
************************************************************************************************************************  
“I think we created a monster” Nat says to the other two men at the breakfast table.

“We...” Tony starts looking at Natasha completely abashed. “I gave him advice on wooing her. You…” he points at Nat. “You’re the one who took her lingerie shopping.”

“Nat you didn’t” Bruce turns looking at her appalled.

“It was her idea.” Nat retorts trying to defend herself.

“And you didn’t think our geriatric Captain may not take one look at her and Keel over?” Tony jokes.

“I don’t think stamina is the issue here.” Bruce comments.

“From what I heard this morning, I’d say that Cap’s stamina is better than mine,” Nat says quietly and Bruce spits his juice onto the table.

“This morning! Again! Really?!?” Tony says shaking his head in astonishment. “Man I need to get his secret. You’d think after the marathon last night that Cap wouldn’t be able to give a full salute right away in the morning.” Tony says shaking his head again.

“Well at least Y/N won’t be left wanting in that department” Nat finishes.

The rest of their breakfast was eaten in silence until they hear a faint thumping on the floor. Tony looks up along with Nat, Bruce just tries to ignore it, finishing his breakfast. “F.R.I.D.A.Y can we find a cabin for rent nearby for the duration of our visit here. Our two love birds need some privacy. And I need to protect what’s left of my sense of manhood”

“Right away sir” F.R.I.D.A.Y responds, and Nat cannot contain her laughter anymore, and busts out laughing. Tony shoots her a hurt look and Bruce smiles. 

"SO who is up for a drive...Anywhere?" Tony adds looking at Nat and Bruce. "I'm not sure my fragile ego can withstand another sex-a-thon.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

Dean, Sam, and Cas make their way into the bunker. The mission a bust, no one was there. Dean throwing his bag of weapons down on the table and drops into the chair next to it. Sam pulls out his laptop and Cas just stands to look around trying to decide if he should see you or just stay here.

The three of them sit there going over the case in their own way, “So I wonder how Y/N made out on her shopping trip?” Dean says sarcastically at no one.

“Why?” Sam asks over the top of his laptop, Cas looking at Dean curious too.

“First off.” Dean sits up. “When is Y/N one of those girly girls, that likes shopping?” He looks at both men waiting for an answer, not getting one he continues.

“Secondly, I find it interesting that this…shopping trip…happens to occur at the same time that we head out on a mission that Steve didn’t want her on.”

“It could just be a coincidence,” Sam says trying to defend the situation. Dean just shrugs. Cas, however, is considering Dean's words carefully.

“You think Steve deceived Y/N?” Cas asks Dean.

“Bingo!” Dean says pointing to Cas.

“And…” Sam says. “Maybe it’s a good thing. Y/N should be sidelined against this thing. It has its eyes set on her now especially after what we found there.”

“Dean, I have to agree with Sam, there was a picture of Y/N on the VIC. wall. She is next on that list. It would not have been good if she saw that.” Cas concedes.

“That’s only more the reason why she should have been there with us. What if she was abducted while out shopping?”

“Dean, we can’t watch her all the time.” Sam shakes his head. "Besides she had Natasha with her."

“Why not?” Dean asks. "Why can we have her with us all the time? She used to be?"

Cas jumps in, “Because...Dean...that is why she left.”

Dean turns to Cas, extremely interested in their new information. “Is that so?”

Sam just sits backcrossing his arms over his chest. He wants to hear this too. “Apparently, Y/N confided in you, more than me then?”

“She did…about some things,” Cas says plainly.

“Well...do tell. What did she tell you, that she couldn’t tell Sam or me?” Dean pushes Cas.

“She cared about you too much to stay,” Cas admitted.

Deans eyes shoot up to meet Cas’s, seeing the truth in his eyes Dean becomes angry. “Why didn’t you tell me how she felt?!?”

“She didn’t want you to know.”

“Or YOU didn’t want me to know” Dean grinds back at him.

“Dean…” Sam interrupts trying to intervene.

“NO SAMMY. I need to know.” Dean shoots at him. “Cas…why didn’t you tell me?”

“She didn’t want to make things awkward. She knew how you felt about relationships...in this line of work. She knew she couldn’t be with you and it hurt her being here, without being with you. So...she felt she needed to leave.”

Dean opens his mouth to say something but closes it again. They all sit still for a few minutes thinking. Dean breaks the silence getting up throwing the bag of weapons over his shoulder. "I'm going to go unpack then get some sleep." he announces as he is walking down the hall to his room. 

Cas is standing there not sure what to do. Sam taking another second to think then shakes his head and goes back to his laptop. Cas goes into the library to think. Getting there, he decides to try to call you and find out if you are okay. He calls it rings a few times then goes to voicemail. “Y/N, When you get this please call me. It’s important that I talk to you. I need to talk to you.” Cas end the call and puts his head in his hands, wondering how badly he just made the situation for you.

Dean gets to his room throwing his bag on the floor in the corner, slamming the door behind him. He dropping down on to the bed and considering whether or not he should call you. He is wanting answers, but he doesn’t know if he wants to hear them right now. He isn’t sure if he even knows the questions. Staring at the ceiling he comes to a decision, “Screw it.”

Pulling out his phone, hesitating a moment trying to muster the courage to dial your number. He takes in a deep breath "Come on Dean, No guts, No glory!" And pulls your name up from his contact dials. He knows that it may be late. You might be sleeping but he still needs to try. He listens to the phone ring, once…twice…three times, he’s just about to hang up when a voice comes over the phone. “Hello?” the voice was definitely not yours, it was deep, a man’s voice.

“Let me talk to Y/N.”

“She is asleep.” Steve answers.

“Does she know you have her phone?” Dean asks. Wondering if this is some attempt to control her more. She never leaves her phone far from her.

“No I’m fairly sure she doesn’t, but I don’t think she’d mind. What did you need?”

“I need to talk to Y/N. Is she okay?”

“She’s fine…She’s more than fine. She is contented, fully sated in fact. I think I may have tired her out tonight.” Steve knows that this comment would make clear the new development in your relationship and put across a message clearly to Dean.

“Just tell her I called.” Dean gnashes and hangs up.

Steve just looks at your phone smiles and plugging it in on your nightstand. Turning to you and finishing pulling the t-shirt on you. You moan a little and he kisses you lightly on the forehead before moving around the bed climbing in behind you, happy that he finally had you to himself...hopefully.

Dean is laying on the bed staring at your number on his phone, anger raging in his mind. You were his once. You would snuggle against him at night when you were on a hunt and even sometimes when you were home, having had a bad dream or just needed comfort. He would wake up with you next to him in the morning. He wants that again, he wants to fix the mistake he made. He wants to tell you he wants to be with you. He’d even give up hunting for you. Sam may not like it. but for you, he’d do it. The more he thinks about this and what he lost the angrier he gets. Steve, you, Cas, the whole situation. It just pisses him off. He has made too many mistakes, most of which he can’t fix, but this one he sure as hell is going to try to fix.

He hears a knock on the door. “Go AWAY!” he lays there another minute and the knock sounds again louder this time. Dean tossing his phone on his nightstand sitting up and staring at the door, running his hands over his face. He takes a deep breath to calm himself going to answer the door. He opening the door he find Cas. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Dean moves ove to his dresser deciding to finish up packing. “What you going to tell me now. That she ran off and eloped with spangles?”

Cas looks at him thoroughly confused. “I don’t know why you'd think that. I have no news on Y/N. She is not answering her phone.”

“So you tried to call her too?”

“Yes,” Cas says looking down at the floor.

"So spill. What did you have to talk to me about? What is so important that you needed to talk right now?”

Cas shifts. “I made a mistake not telling you about Y/N’s feelings for you, I’m sorry.” He looks up gaging Dean's reaction.

Dean considering this for a moment responding. “Me too, I should’ve just manned up and told her how I feel” Dean smirks at Cas.

“Maybe, if I knew I had some tough competition, I would have.”

Cas smiles back, “I’m not much competition, not then atleast.”

“Cas, you’ve got more of a chance with her now than I do. Atleast you have the balls to do something about how you feel.” He shakes his head. “I just pretended she was just another fling like all the others.”

Cas looks at Dean, not sure what to say. He knows deep down that Dean has a very narrow window of a chance to get you back. Cas saw the way you responded to the kiss you shared with Dean the other day. After he saw you not push Dean away, he knew you still have some feelings for Dean. What doesn’t know how strong your feelings are for Dean or Steve. Or if, Steve was really the right guy for you.

“I want to talk about Steve…and Y/N.”

This gets Dean’s attention he turns looking at the angel. “What? Why? Do you know something? IS Y/N ok?”

“She’s fine…Physically.” Cas starts, trying to figure out what he wants to say. “I’m just not sure if she should be with him…them.” He clarifies.

“What do you mean? Did she say something?”

“No…I just see the way they are with her. They care about her…they do. But she needs to spread her wings. She doesn’t see it, but her spark is…” Cas tries to find a better way to explain it. “Her soul is not as bright as it once was. Dean, she’s dying inside.”

Dean looking, trying to understand what he’s saying. “They’re killing her?” Dan asks his heart sinking.

“No…they aren’t doing anything to her.” Cas thinking for a minute continuing on. “It’s like a flower. If it doesn’t get sunlight or water it wilts and dies.”

Dean considers this and nodding. “So, she needs to what, hunt?”

“Yes. Dean, she thrived in our world. She was happy, she had everything she wanted.” Cas pauses carefully considering his next words. “With them, she is reduced to paper pushing. She doesn’t go out on hunts. It’s killing her spirit slowly.”

Dean becoming angry again slams the drawer shut on his dresser. Cas quickly rushing ahead, trying to calm Dean as much as he can. “They don’t know what they are doing to her, Dean. They think they are keeping her safe. They are doing what I asked them to do.” Cas eyes dropping, shame filling his voice. “They’re doing what I asked them to do.”

“We need to do something Cas.” He begins pacing the room. “We can’t let her just fade out.”

“I know…I just don’t know what to do. I can try talking to Steve. He seems to genuinely care for her. Maybe he can arrange for her to get into more missions.”

“Maybe…” Dean’s own wheels spinning. He is seeing this as an opportunity to get closer to her. Maybe he is what Y/N needs. If he can show you, you belong with them. Hunting is what you are meant for. Maybe he can get you to come home. Maybe, then, he can sort this thing out between you, Cas, and himself. Either way, he’ll be okay as long as you are home where you belong.


	21. Chapter 21

You lay curled up next to Steve pleasantly spent. His arm is wrapped around you his hand resting on your shoulder. He Is rubbing small circles on the curve of it. “Steve…”

“Hmmm…” you feel his head turn to look at you and you return the look.

“I think we need another shower.”

He smiles back at you. You see the mischievous smile from on his face. “Alone,” you say firmly.

He laughs lightly. “Am I too much for you, little one.” He says to you.

“You…,” you kiss him on the lips, moving away from him. Your body shivering as the heat of his body leaves you. “are too much for any normal girl. But Luckily for you. I’m not a normal gal.” You grab clothing for the day and disappear into the bathroom.

“No…no you are not,” Steve says after you, but you don’t hear him.

 He settles back pulling the book he is reading from his stand waiting for his turn with the shower.

After you finish you quickly dress grabbing your make-up bag and brush so that Steve can have his turn. As you pass him you quickly give him a brief kiss. “Sure I can’t convince you to join me?” he asks.

You smile, “Us normal people need recovery time after a night like last night. Maybe later,”

He nods, “I’ll hold you to that.” He winks and closes the door behind him. You quickly apply your makeup, running the brush through your hair. After dabbing on your perfume, you grab your phone. You see a missed call. You check your call list to see who it is. You see two calls from last night. One from Cas and the second from Dean.  you decide on calling Cas first. Not sure if you can deal with Dean. His mood swings this morning.

The phone rings once and Cas picks up. “Y/N, I’m glad you called.”

“What’s up Cas?”

“I need to talk to you, as soon as possible.” You hear the phone shift around. “Can I come there.”

“NO!” you say too quickly and curse yourself. “No Cas, I can come there. I need to talk to you anyway.” You need to tell both of them you are with Steve now. “You at the bunker?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there in about an hour is that okay?”

“Actually, can we meet at the diner in town?”

“Ok…Cas what’s going on?”

“I don’t want Dean to know I am talking to you. Not yet.”

“Ummm…ok?” you think for a second. “Cas. Should I be worried?”

“No…I just need to talk to you without any distractions.” He reassures you.

“Ok. Be there in a bit.”

You end your call with Cas. Curiosity about what he is up to eating at your mind. You turn, seeing Steve coming out of the bathroom. Your eyes travel ing over his body, as per usual he is wearing only a towel. You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself grounded. 'This man is going to be the death of me.' you mumble you yourself. He says something, but you miss it, focusing on the water tracing the curves of his chest. They move slowly down to the towel that hangs exceptionally low on his waist. “Huh…” your attention still on how the water traces the muscles that make up his chest and stomach.

“I said…” He steps closer pulling your attention to his face. “Who was on the phone.”

“Oh.” You smile at him the move to grab your shoes and jacket. “It was Cas. He wants to meet for coffee and talk.”

You see Steve’s posture straighten. “I see…” A silent awkward and tension filling the room. “Did you want me to come with?”

“I got the impression he wants to talk to me alone.” You say trying to make it sound casual, but it is feeling odd to you as well.

“I’m sure he does” Steve mumbles.

“IS there something WRONG with me meeting with a FRIEND, Steve?”

“No…” Steve acts like he is considering it. “If that is what he is…but he’s not. You had sex with him. You have a past.”

“Steve…” You try to explain it away, but you can’t. You know that he is right. It’s not as if what happened to you and Cas is from the past. It only happened three days ago. “Please trust me.” You reach out to him, pulling him in front of where you sit on the bed his chest inches from your face. You look up to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what this is between us, but I want it to mean something. What happened with Cas and I is a one-time thing.”

“But you still care for him…and Dean.” The sadness in his voice hurts.

“I will always care about them. They saved me from a dire situation.” You affirm. You weren’t lying, but not being completely truthful. Your feelings for both men are still strong. Your feelings for Cas are still smoldering, just waiting to be fanned.

“Do you love him?” This catches you off guard. DID you? You never thought about that. How do you feel about Cas or Dean that matter?

“No.” again you weren’t lying, for all you knew you didn’t love him. "I love you," you say knowing at least this is true. This calms Steve a little.

“Can you call me and let me know you made it there ok?”

“Steve… I’m a grown woman. I don’t need to check in like I’m on house arrest!”

“Y/N. I just need to know you are okay. Especially with this…thing…out there somewhere.” Knowing Steve is just concerned for you, you concede.

“Fine, but only because you make a valid point.” You pull your jacket on. “Just don’t expect it every time I go out. I’m my own person.”

Steve moves closer to you pulling you to him, “Deal…” he leans in and kisses you softly. You pull him down further deepening the kiss before pulling away.

You smile at him before walking around him and to the door. You find Tony sitting on the enclosed porch. “Hey, Tony. Can I use the car? I have an errand to run.”

His eyes move to look you over. “Did you leave Steve in one piece?” he says as he grabs the keys from the table next to him handing them to you.

“Yes, Tony. He’s fine.” You smile at him. Deciding to tease him as he did you this morning. “Me, on the other hand, …it was a little touch and go there yesterday after breakfast.”

Tony covers his ears mocking you, “TOO MUCH INFO” he sees that you have stopped talking, then takes his hands off his ears. “Just get back in one piece young lady. Steve would kill me if he knew something happened to you, and I gave you the means to leave.”

“Tony, Steve knows I’m leaving, quit being so dramatic.” You roll your eyes walking to the car.

You pull into the small café, three doors down from the boutique your bought Steves present at a few days back. You go inside seeing no sign of Cas. You grab a booth by the window, call Steve. 

"Parolee Y/N Y/L/N...checking in," you announce when Steve answers.

"Baby..." Steve chuckles. "

"Well, I'm here Cas isn't yet. I'm going to order an appetizer, find out what's what then I'll be back."

"OK, we may have a lead Tony is double-checking it now."

"Good, keep me updated."

"Oh, you're giving me orders now." He chuckling.

"No, just making a request."

"Yeap I'm the only one giving orders in this relationship."

"Only in the bedroom, Captain," you say in a low seductive.

"And I can't wait to get you back there. Love you."

"Love you too. Call ya on my way back." You end the call tossing your phone in your bag.

The waitress comes and gives you menus and waters. Surprisingly you're hungry again, so decided to look over the menu. You find a perfect looking appetizer, you hear the bell above the door. You look seeing Cas coming through the door looking around the café. Spotting you, he makes his way over to you. Pulling out a chair sitting across from you smiling. “Y/N” The waitress showing up a few seconds later.

“Cas,” you smile back. “So did you want something to eat or drink?”

“No.” he answers then adds, “thank you.” You nod. Turing giving the server your order.

After a brief moment, he speaks. “Are you happy?”

“What?” You're taken back by the abruptness of his question. 

“Are you happy with your current situation?”

“Cas. You are going to have to be more specific.”

He sighs in frustration. “Are you happy with the Avengers, with Steve?”

“I…I think so?” You never really gave it any sincere consideration. You feel like you are happy, but now with Cas sitting across from you asking you; you were not so sure.

“I need you to be sure.”

“Cas…” you were beginning to get concerned now. “What is going on?”

“I’m not sure I want to tell you,” Cas says his eyes focusing on yours.

“Cas, you’re scaring me.” Your apprehension rising. Cas has always been incredibly open to you, but this side of him is foreign to you.

“I don’t want to tell you here,” Cas says then takes a drink of his water. You are about to push him when your food arrives.

“Fine.” You are distracted by the large appetizer plate in front of you and dig in. “But you’re the one who wanted to talk to me.” You eat your food slowly. The need to know what is going on with Cas is eating at you.

Dean calls Cas, informing Cas that they may have a lead on the case. You keep eating while watching them, the conversation piquing your interest. They appear to have located a building close to town. They seem to have moved into it. Cas telling Dean they will look when he gets back. Dean reluctantly agrees.

Cas, ending the call, begins watching you, then down to your plate. You have finished most of your food. The waitress brings you the check and Cas quickly grabs it and goes to pay as you finish your food. When he returns to the table, as you are finishing eating the last chicken strip. Throwing down some money down on the table for a tip, he takes your hand in his. He looks at you to see if you are uncomfortable. You look at him puzzled, but don’t pull away. He continues holding your hand as he gets up pulling you gently to the door. Neither of you says anything, an unspoken language saying all you need to know.

Walking up to your car, Cas opens the passenger door for you. You let go of his hand giving him a confused look. “Please... I need to take you somewhere...private.” You nod, trusting him, getting into the car. Cas’s weird behavior starting to make you concerned. Shutting the door, he moves around to the driver’s side door. Getting in his puts his hand out for the keys, you hand them to him.

“Cas where are we going?”

“A special place. A place I like to go to think.”

“Okay....and,” you are hinting at needing to know more.

“You’ll see,” He says taking your hand in his to reassure you.

The two of you drive for about 20 minutes. He turns off the main highway onto the side road. After another 20 minutes, he turns into a dirt road. The car pulling in to a clearing with the most beautiful view you have ever seen. There is a glasslike lake a short distance away surrounded by nothing but hill and trees. Cas pulling the car further in parking at the edge of a small clearance. “We need to walk from here, but it’s not far.”

“Ok…” You get out of the car following his lead, feeling more curious. Taking your hand in his you walk for a short distance before you see the small cottage on the horizon. It is simple but beautiful. A small white building. It looks like a one-bedroom or a small two home. There are vines covering a good portion of the home, giving the place age. You see a small chimney on the right of the home, made of stone. As you reach it you see a generator is next to the chimney. A new addition judging from the start of what appears to be a housing unit someone is building to hold it.

“Cas…Why do I feel like you’ve been here recently?” You say looking at him as the two of you reach the door to the cozy little home.

“I was here last night.” He says simply unlocking the door to a surprisingly updated home inside. “I wanted to make sure it was ready for you.”

You look at Cas unsure what you should be saying to him. You look around the modest home. You notice there are two bedrooms. One small room on the main floor next to what appears to be a bathroom. There is a small loft and storage area above these two rooms. You can not make out what is there, but it also looks recently used. You turn to the right to see a small kitchen straight ahead of you. A new refrigerator and stove both stainless steel. The cabinets are light wood with a black countertop. The floors are also the same wood. You see a small table set for two. You look to your right and see a crème sofa and small mahogany coffee table with matching end tables. There is a TV attached to the wall across from the sofa. Beyond the living area, you look seeing another door opening to an area that looks like a slightly larger additional bedroom. It appears to have a queen-size bed and skylight that you did not notice from outside you step closers seeing that it has a small suite with a large soaking tub. The walls have a light log siding that is continuous throughout the home. Overall the place has a homey feel.

You turn to look at Cas. You want to thank him for the beautiful place, but are unsure how to or why he feels you need it. Seeing you looking at him, he motions for you to sit on the sofa. You walk over to the sofa and sit down, he does the same. “I am hoping that being here will let you know that I want to ensure that you have options.” Cas begins. You are now even more confused.

“Cas, Can you please tell me what is going on?”

“Y/N, You are being targeted, and I know why .”

“OK…” You say trying to encourage him on.

“That night, we had together.” Cas looks to you and you nod. “I made you a bigger target then you are already.” He moves to look at you, trying to convey the full weight of what he is trying to say. “You were a target before, the men that are after you. They are Hydra. When you came to Lebanon you, became a target. The plan is to use you as leverage to get to Steve.”

“Cas, how do you know this? And what does that have to do with you?"

“I’m getting to that.” He says taking your hands in his, continuing. “They are watching you. They are here conducting experiments on monsters, extracting their DNA, and using it to engineer hybrid enhanced people. They are taking the characteristics such as shape-shifting, strength, healing capabilities and using these to create an indestructible super-soldier.” he pauses taking in a deep breath, preparing for your reaction. “Steve was going to be their first test subject, and source of power to perfect this new serum.” You gasp. You know that Hydra has been trying to recreate the super-soldier serum, but you didn’t think that they decided to pervert it as well.

“Ok, but why am I suddenly a bigger target?” trying to get back to what he said before.

Cas looks at you, studying you. He feels fear and regret, feeling like he did the worst thing he could to you. With his nerves starting to cave, he forces himself to push forward, knowing you need to know. Both you and Steve need to know. “You’re pregnant..." He gives you a moment to process this. When you say nothing he continues. "...and Hydra wants to use the baby. They want to experiment on it.”

Your jaw just drops. The shock of it all slowly starting to feel real. You don’t know how to react. Your mind going into a million directions. You feel as if your life’s story is just been laid out for you. Suddenly the realization that you are pregnant hits you. “Oh....” Tears start falling down your cheeks, your body is wracked with sobs. Cas pulls you into his arms. The warmth embrace, helping you calm your tears slowing to a stop. You pull back and look to him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I can hear the heartbeat. I knew, the second I sat at the table with you.” You nod that explains why he was acting so odd.

“Why did want to meet with me, to begin with?” You ask Cas trying to change the subject. He looks at you with a strange look on his face. “You called because you wanted to talk to me.”

“It is no longer of import.”

“Cas? Why? What was it?” The look on his face telling you you should already know.

“I want to be with you.” He blurts out. His eyes drop trying to collect himself. “And now… I want us to be a family.” He finishes motioning to your belly. Your jaw dropping. Looking around the room, it all suddenly becomes clear.

“All of this is for me?”

“Yes, I know you wanted a life away from hunting. But I think it’s more than that now. I think you need a place of your own. A place away from Sam and Dean, and hunting…And now you’ll need a place to raise the child.” Cas says motioning to the home. “A place where I can keep you both safe.”

“Cas…” You're thoughts overwhelming you. Your emotions going crazy, you’re not sure what to say.

“I know it is a big decision.” Cas is looking at you, hope filling his eyes. “I know there is a lot going on. Other people to consider.” His eyes drop to where his hands are holding yours. “I just want you to know how I feel about you…and the baby.” He sighs, looking into your eyes. He sees tears are forming in them. He leans into you kissing you softly. You immediately return the kiss, his hands cupping your face. You feel yourself falling into the kiss, he deepening it. You moan at the sensation craving more. You climb onto his lap, his hand falling onto your ass, pushing you into him.  You grind yourself into himself. He moans into your mouth while his hands slowly slide under your shirt touching your skin. The feeling of Cas's hands on you, suddenly reminding you of what you are doing. You pull away quickly. 

“Cas…” you sigh pushing him back as he tries following your lips. “I can’t…I need time to think.” You remove yourself from his lap and sit next to him.

“I understand.” He says disappointment in his voice. Your heart aching for him. Cas has this image of a perfect little family; his family. A family Cas is dreaming of and you just destroyed by your actions.

“Cas…” You reach out tipping his head up so his eye are meeting yours. You see tears pooling in the oceans of blue. “I’m not saying no..." you tell him giving him hope that you did not intend on giving him. "I just need to think. This is a lot to take in.” Cas is nodding but you can tell he is still feeling the rejection. “I need to go.” You say to him and he nods in understanding.

You move to get up he stands upright behind you. pausing you consider the situation one last time. Throwing caution to the wind, you turn, looking into his eye’s, and pulling him in for one last kiss. You are pouring all your emotions into the kiss, everything you feel for this man. Cas responds by wrapping his arms around you, you feel an extra warmth you never felt before as Cas wraps his wings around you. The kiss goes longer than you planned. You want him to break it, you want him to know that you care, you just need time.

When he pulls away, he nods, your message made. You look him in the eyes walking backward to the door. The same way as before. The same way you did when you left him the first night you were in town. You're holding onto him until you could no longer, then turn to leave. Getting into your borrowed car. You sit for a moment, considering the events of your lunch date. You need to talk to Nat, you need to tell her what is happening, to hear what she thinks. You can not make this decision on your own. You realize what you need to do is talk to Steve.

You start to consider everything while you are driving back to town. You have a lot to consider. How do you feel about Cas? Do you care about him enough to raise a child with him? Your head is swimming with thoughts. Considering how your life is going to change, for the better and the worse. The thoughts in your mind distracting you, lowering your senses. You become completely engrossed in your own thoughts, and because of this, you don’t see the large grey SUV pulling out on the road behind. You get another mile before a dark blue van pulls out in front of you, blocking the road. You pull to a stop and look behind you to see the road behind you blocked by another vehicle. You quickly grab your phone and dial the last number on it. Which happens to be Steve. The phone is ringing, and you need him to pick up. You see two large groups of men approaching you from the front and back. They are moving steadily, but they are not running. You know it is worthless to run, you’d just get shot.

“Hey...” you hear Steve’s voice. "STEVE!!! HYDRA..." you are interrupted when you hear the window of the car smashed in. An arm reaches in unlocking the door. You scream, then remembering the phone in your hand you start rattling off where you are anything that may help. One of the men sees the phone grabbing it from you. Throws it to the ground he smashes it.

Steve is sitting with Tony on the front porch. He is reading while Tony is playing with some new tech. Steve’s phone rings. He noticed the time and realizes you’ve been gone for two hours already.  “Hello, Y/N?”

“STEVE! HELP!” You scream into the phone Steve in instantly on his feet putting it on speakerphone.

“Where are you? What’s going on?”  Tony everything and immediately begins a trace of the phone.

“Steve…There are….” You are cut off and he hears you scream at the sound of breaking glass, and the sounds of a struggle following. Steve is already moving, grabbing his gear.

“Steve! Where are we going?” Steve stops turning around glaring at Tony who is following him. “Y/N has just been taken. I’m going to find out what the hell is going on!” And with that Steve gets on his bike and is gone.

Tony moves into action. He immediately checks to see how far the trace got. It had narrowed down your location to a road outside of town, he had about a two-mile radius. Tony, now wishing he had implanted you with a medical tracking device. It is something he considered for all the Avengers and being your proximity to Steve, it only made sense to include you. After this is over, he is going to make a formal suggestion. This need to be prevented from happening ever again. For now, Tony runs into the house beginning to make phone calls, while gathering up the group there. "This is an all-hands-on-deck situation," he calls out as he knocks on Nt and Bruce's doors.

Steve is pulling up to the bunker. He is just in time to catch Sam walking outside. Sam upon seeing Steve pulling up waves, a friendly smile on his face. Steve, now knowing the to of you have no idea what is happening. He parks his bike as Sam stands there waiting for Steve to come over. Sam sees the look on Steve’s face telling him immediately something is terribly wrong. He also knows that if it brought Steve here, it could only mean one thing. Sam’s face turns stoic. “Something is wrong with Y/N?”           

“She was taken about 15 minutes ago, she called me as it was happening,” Steve answers heading straight to the bunker door. Sam is not the person he came here to see.  Sam turns watching Steve as he flings the bunker door open. He hurries to catch up to Steve, worried about what he is going to do to Dean.

When Steve gets inside the bunker, he begins calling for Cas. “Castiel!!!” Steve pounds down the stairs.

Dean emerges from the hall leading to his room. “What the HELL?!?” Dean shouts pissed that Steve is storming around his home. “Cas isn’t here just calm down!”

Steve turns on Dean. The darkness in the look giving Dean a slight pause. He puts his hands up ina sign of surrender. Dean can tell something is going on with Y/N. It is written all over Steve’s face. “Cas left about 2 hours ago," Dean says slowly calmly. "He said he needed to figure some stuff out?”

“He was with Y/N”

“Son of a Bitch…He didn’t tell me that.” Now Dean wants to know what else Cas is not telling him. “I haven’t seen him since he left this morning.”

“Call him.”

“Whoa…” I don’t take orders from men in spandex!” Dean spouts back at Steve. His anger not really at Steve but feeling the need to direct it at someone.

“Dean…” Dean turns to see Sam, an equally anxious look on his face. Now Dean is really concerned. “If Y/N has been abducted. Cas is the last one to see her.” Sam confirms. Now Dean is even more pissed. Why did Sam know Cas was seeing you this morning and not him?

“Fine, I’ll call him,” Dean says pulling out his phone and dialing Cas’s number. Dean turns his back to the two men and waits for Cas to answer. After a few rings, he is about to give up when Cas picks the phone up.

“Dean…” Cas answers

“Cas, where are you? And where is Y/N?”

“I’m…” Cas pauses when the second question comes to him. Cas realizing Dean knows about you and him spending time together this morning. His mind races, how? Sam! “Y/N is heading back into town she should be there any minute now.”

“Back to town? Where are you?”

“Not in town,” Cas answers evasively. Dean, wanting to press the issue, but doesn't, he has more important things to worry about at the moment.

“Y/N is missing, Cas. You were the last tone to see her. If…” Cas immediately appears in front of Dean. Steve jumps, but Sam and Dean are used to Cas doing this. Dean ends the call. “Do you know where she might be?”

“No…” Cas says. His voice low. “But believe I know who took her.”

Upon hearing this Steve has Cas by the collar and two inches off the floor. “Tell me! Or so help me!!”

Cas is looking at him, unaffected by Steve’s actions. He knows, if things go his way, Steve will become much angrier before this week is over. Especially when he finds out about the child you and he possibly share.

“I believe...you know them as Hydra,” Cas answers simply. Steve drops Cas, quickly turning to make a call.

“Tony…Hydra has Y/N.” He is fighting back anger and tears. He needs to be a soldier for you right now.

“OK. Cap, relax. They won’t hurt her. They need her to draw you in. This has been their play all along, and we knew it.” Steve breaths in deep. “It doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know… I called in the team. If that helps.” Tony says softer, trying to be reassuring.

“It does.” Steve pulls the phone away from his face looks around for a minute then puts his phone on speakerphone. "How many bunks does this place have?”

"Yeah big guy the team is coming to town and we need a place to stash them all," Tony says in a way too cheery tone

Sam’s face goes pale. He knows where this is leading and looks to Dean who just nods. “We have about 22 beds each with a private bath. A full-service chef’s kitchen and as you know a command center as well as a library.”

“We are going to need the rooms. We are going to be using your place as a command center. At least until we get Y/N back and maybe even a little after," Tony adds for good measure. Steve realizes that Sam, Dean, and Cas are probably not used to getting orders. So he decides to soften tony's orders a bit. “If you are ok with that.”

Dean is the first one to speak up. “Yeah, I get that. It'll probably be a lot more functional and secure, then a B&B.”

Steve meets Dean’s eyes a mutual understanding coming between them. “Thank you.”

Steve turns back to his phone taking the phone off speaker, then telling him he was going to stay at the bunk. "The Winchester's know the area better than any of us. I'm going to tell them what we know and see if they can fill in the missing pieces. Tony agrees and tells Steve he will immediately get to work setting up the transport of supplies, tech, and other necessities needed to begin a full-scale hunt for you.

As the day goes on Steve gets busy setting up a command center in the war room. While Nat works on getting food, bedding, furniture, and other items in place, as well as assigning rooms to the rest of the Avengers, noting they should be arriving shortly. Tony and Bruce took up a three-room block each of their rooms on the ends with a center room becoming a makeshift lab for R&D as well as recon.

Dean sits by the minibar watching all the commotion. He keeps reminding himself it is for you, so it's okay. His apprehension subsiding when he sees delivery men bring in several cases of alcohol one of them containing bottles of brandy, another of whiskey. Tony sees Dean looking at the cases. Tony reaches in handling him a bottle. Dean looks at the label "Uncle Nearest 1856" he looks at it in appreciation “I hear you’re a whiskey man?’

“Yeah.” Dean looks at Tony and gives him a nod. “Thanks, good label” he adds

“Don’t mention it,” Tony replies. “I think that we both will be needing it until we find her.” Dean just nods in response. He knows that between him and Steve, he is sure they will be driving everyone else crazy.

After a long day of moving people in and out., along with calls, looking through surveillance videos, the team finally finds what appears to be a possible lead. A gas station camera on the edge of town catches what appears to be two men in a blue van filling up with gas. Steve recognizes an ex-shield agent. An agent who worked with the enhanced individuals' program. The man never seemed right with Steve, now he knows why.

“Him,” Steve says pointing to the screen. Sam looking to see what Steve is looking at. The war room now is full of 55-inch computer screens that have feeds to all the satellites orbiting space. Sam’s mind is blown by the type of access these people had available to them.

Sam takes note of the license plate. He running the plates,finding the van belongs to a catering business. The catering business linking to a local café right in town. Sam’s heart sinks. It’s the same café they all met at the second day you got to town. He realizes she must have been on their radar even then. Sam starts to run a search, seeing if he can trace the van to an address. Maybe catching a glimpse of where they may have taken you.

While Sam is doing that Steve, Announces he’s going to look into the café. As Steve head to the door Dean runs up to him. “You get a lead?” Dean asks Steve.

“Partially, a café, the one we met at for lunch. There’s a van it's registered as a catering vehicle for them.”

“Want some company?” Dean asks. Before Steve can answer, Dean adds. “If I sit around here any longer, I’m going to go crazy. I have to get out there. I need to do something.”

Steve nods understanding.  “I get it, grab your gear. It could get rough.” He turns to head out stopping, looking back at Dean. “You’re driving.” Steve turns back to the door walking into the garage to wait for Dean.

“Dean, I’m coming too,” Cas informing more than telling Dean. “I feel responsible for this. I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

“Cas, it’s not your fault. It could have happened to anyone. You just happen to be the lucky bastard to have seen her last that’s all.”

The three men arrive at the café after a silent trip. The tension in the car is thick, the tension shifting their previous anger to worry towards you. Steve finds it ironic. It always takes something bad happening to bring people to understanding. It happened with the Avengers and now he and the Winchesters.

Once inside, Steve walks up to the counter. The same waitress from the other day working again today. She immediately recognizes Steve and after looking at the other two men, seems even happier. Steve frowns. “Is the owner here?”

“Hi Steve…or should I call you Captain?” she gushes ignoring his question.

“Steve is fine.” He fights to maintain his composure. He does not have time for this.

“Ok…Steve…” She tries his name. Feeling the way it comes out of her mouth. “The owner hasn’t been here in a couple of days. I think he’s at the warehouse doing inventory. The word 'warehouse' getting Dean’s attention.

“Where is this warehouse?” Dean steps forward. Steve turns back to look at Dean, knowing that Dean is on the same line of thought he is.

“Oh, it’s about five miles out. Right by the We Store It 4 U.” She smiles, so excited to be helping Captain America. Hoping he’ll thank her personally, although she won’t mind if the man next to him will be grateful to her either.

“Thank you.” Steve turns to leave but she grabs his hand.

He takes a deep breath trying to hide his annoyance. For once Dean is happy not to be the object of the girl’s attention. He knows that they need to move but watching Steve get delayed and trying to maintain his old-fashioned gentleman façade is quite humorous. “Can I get your number, Steve?” She asks him. Dean tries really hard not to laugh, knowing women were not so forward in Steve’s time. This will be good.

“I'm spoken for,” Steve says politely, looking at Callie, shooting a side glance to Dean. Steve knows that the two of you had not told the brothers about your relationship yet. He thinks you may have told Cas this morning, but again he’s not sure if Cas would have relayed the information to the other men, even if he did know. The look on Dean’s face telling him Dean had no idea.

“Oh…” Callie replies. Her face dropping and her smile fading away. “Sorry.” She lets go of Steve and turns away.

Steve turns to leave and Dean follow behind him. “Where did Castiel go?” Steve notices the angel is gone.

“Dammit,” Dean whispers. “He went ahead.” He says giving Steve the only logical explanation. 'Could this day get any worse?' Dean thinks to himself as he and Steve drive to the warehouse.

 Cas arrives right outside the warehouse. He sees no warding, so he continues inside. The main floor of the warehouse is empty minus half a dozen boxes and some furniture matching the café scattered about. He sees two vehicles at the far end of the building. They are near an office with a light on. The office is heavily warded. He determines that must be where they are keeping you. With little else to do, he goes back outside and waits for Dean and Steve to arrive.

Dean pulls up and sees Cas sitting on a bench in front of the self-storage place next door. “Well this is just great” Dean throws his hands up at Cas. Steve just sits there looking at him. Steve is hoping that Cas sitting there doesn’t mean this is another dead end.

Dean gets out of the car and walks up to Cas, Steve following. “So, what did you accomplish by running ahead of us?” Dean scolds Cas. “Other than letting them know you’re here so they can fortify their forces.” Cas looks up his Dean his face going pale, then he looks down realizing he may have just made things worse. The thought making him question everything he's done even more than he has. Most importantly whether or not he could properly protect you and the child. “Oh, you didn’t think about that? Did you Cas?” Dean says crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for Cas to say something.

“Dean, she’s in there.” He looks up at Dean. For the first time, Dean sees how truly wrecked Cas is. “And they warded the entrance inside heavily. “I cannot get in.” Cas hangs his head in defeat.

Dean moves over to Cas sitting on the bench next to him, putting a hand on Cas’s shoulder. The simple gesture reassuring Cas. “Is she at least ok?” Dean asks. Cas nods not looking up. “Yes Dean, they’re fine.” Cas sighs. Dean frozes looking to Steve who seems to have turned to a statue. “I can sense them, they are under extreme amounts of stress but they are fine.”

Dean is at a loss for words. He immediately taking in the implications of what Cas just said. Steve, however, is not sure how to feel. “Castiel, did you just say “they”?” Steve moves to stand in front of Cas. Cas just nods, Steve begins running to the building.

“SHIT” Dean takes off after Steve.

Steve storms into the building seeing the same vehicle he had seen on the surveillance video. Then he hears Dean coming up from behind him and pausing to let him catch up and taking the time to call Tony.

“Steve” Tony voice comes over the com.

“Tony, we’re at a warehouse. I’m sending the address now.” Steve pulls out his phone and shoots off a text quickly as Dean reaches his side, gun drawn. Steve pulls another com from his pocket and hands it to Dean.  He looks at it nods and puts it in.

“Steve…Wait for backup.” Steve stops walking. He making the decision to tell Tont.

“Tony, I can’t…She’s pregnant.”

“Oh, God…” Is all Steve hears before he starts moving, at a jog this time.

Inside the office, Steve starts tearing the place apart looking for a lever, or switch, something to activate the trap door to the hidden room. Dean takes a more methodical approach. Dean notices some scraps on the floor.

“Steve,” He points to the floor. Steve looks down together they push the desk finding it reveals a subfloor with a trap door.

Steve nodding at Dean quickly climbing down the steep step like a ladder.


	22. Chapter 22

You wake up strapped to a table. You look around attempting to figure out where you are. There are no windows that you can see, but you can tell you are in a lab. No one is in the room the moment. You're hooked up to a monitor. You can see it is monitoring two heartbeats.  You break into tears. This is the first time you hear your baby's heartbeat and it’s in this place, the thought making you extremely angry. Pulling on your restraints trying to break free, all you manage to do is make your wrists hurt worse. You begin praying to Cas, hoping he can hear you, hoping he can get to you.

While you are laying there you continue thinking about the child inside you. After a few moments, your thoughts turn to the two men you are torn between. Is this a sign? Is this pregnancy to help you figure out what who you are supposed to choose? Is it a sign of what you’re supposed to do? Or is it an omen reminding you of what will happen to you if you do choose Cas? Will you be in constant danger being with Steve? The more you think, the more frustrating the situation becomes to you. You begin to cry. Your sobs beginning to wrack your body when you hear someone entering the room.

“Now, now,” the male voice says. “You will be okay. We have a place all planned for you. We'll be needing you alive and growing that wonderful baby inside of you. Then when he or she is fully ready we will just pluck them out like a flower. And you’ll just be all done with the whole ordeal.” The man sin songs while moving to check the readouts of the EKG on the baby. “Such strong a little one too”

“You’re a monster.” You spat out at the man.

“No no no my dear.” He turns and has the evilest smile you’ve ever seen on a human. “We create monsters, but me.” He presses his hand to himself. “I’m very human.” Turning away he begins checking your IV. He then turns away plucking a hypodermic needle from the tray next to it along with a vial of milky white solution. “Well as human as your Captain is anyway.”

You struggling against the restraints again, not wanting him to inject you with anything. He is trying to hush you, feeding the solution into you through the IV feed. You feel the solution in making you feel drowsy. You fight to stay awake but with no luck.

You awaken again, this time in a soft bed. You sigh without opening your eyes. For a brief moment, you think someone found you. Open your eyes you looking around to see sterile white walls. Sitting up you see you are in a small concrete room barren of anything but a bed and four white walls. You start to panic. Your mind immediately knowing where you are. Hydra has you. That exact thing that you and Cas were just talking about. You get up pacing the room. You move slowly, testing your body for any damage or changes that may have occurred, there are not. while you are pacing you notice a very faint light coming in from a one-foot by three-foot window at the very top of the wall behind your bed, figuring it must be light from outside. “Well, at least I can keep track of the days.” You try to find anything positive.

After what feels like hours. You see a shadow enter the room and closing the door behind them. You feel you sing tingling at the sense of danger. This is your first clue something was not right. Your heart is starting to race, instinctually you begin looking for some way to protect yourself, coming up blank. There is nothing in the room that could be moved beside your bedding. You resolve to brace yourself for whatever fresh hell they have concocted for you now. The moonlight is streaming into the room. You can see the man is a large man, not as large as Steve but bigger and taller than Dean. He doesn’t say a word. He just keeps walking to you slowly. You decide to say something, maybe if you're nice to him he won't hurt you. “Hello?”

He pauses for a moment then laughs. Your head spinning toward his laugh. It is deeply maniacal, sending chills down your whole body. You instantly give up any chance of convincing him to be nice to you “What do you want?”

He is standing next to your bed. “Everything…” He says with a low growl. “Everything you can give me. And more” He grabs your arms pinning them above your head with one hand, pulling something that looks like restraints out with the other. You try struggling against him. You don’t bother screaming for help, knowing that no-one cared. You feel cold metal surrounding your wrists, struggling harder, trying to free yourself from the manacle-like cuffs. Then you hear a loud clink and your hands are firmly held in place. You stretch your fingertips trying to find any leverage only feeling the smooth material of the padded wall brush your fingertips. Your wrists were firmly fastened to the metal of your bed frame. Panic filling your mind. You begin kicking wildly trying to push his away feeling the fabric of the hospital-style pants being pulled off. You feel the cold air hitting your exposed skin, knowing you are now fully to this man. Your next kick making contact feeling your foot making contact with his abdomen. He growls at you grabbing one of your legs. You feel the familiar sensation of metal as he attaches similar cuff around your ankle. Trying to kick him with the free foot he manages to secure that one too.

You try to pull away from the restraints. The feeling of being able to slightly move your legs giving you hope. But you quickly realize that there are chains holding you in place. Turn to see what the man is doing next you start to cry silently. He is standing looking at you as he slowly undresses. You feel a new wave of panic, you realize what he intends to do. You scream this time hoping someone here had some sense of morality to not allow this. “Scream all you want.” He laughs. “No one will hear you and I love it when you girls scream for me.”

You immediately stop, knowing this is not the first time he has done this to Hydra prisoners. You turn your head away from him, trying to take your mind away for the situation ahead of you. You try to think about Cas or Steve. When your mind drifts, he slaps you. “NO NO.” he scolds. "I want you right here with me. I want you to remember me.” He smirks. “I want Captain America’s girl to know who showed her what a REAL man can do."

“Well...then you better go find one!” you spit at him earning yourself a hard smack across the face.

“Oh, so that’s how you wanna play it.” Climbing on you his weight adding to the pressure of anxiety already in your chest. “Well let’s see how your smart mouth likes this.” He smirks reaching on to the floor, pulling out a small walkie talkie. “In about fifteen minutes you can come down here and have a turn. Same for the other guys. This one thinks she needs more than just me.”

Your mind instantly going into shock. A laugh comes from the walkie. “Ok well, the guys would love a little entertainment. Yeah, I’ll let them know. Just make sure to leave some for us.” The man smiles at you, placing the walkie down on the floor. “Ok now, where were we?”

He reaches up, pushing your shirt up, running his hands over your beasts pinching your nipples hard, the pain makes you cry out. “Like that, do you?” he says amused. You try to wiggle away but his body on yours is holding you in place. You feel his erection getting hard against your inner thigh. You are more afraid now than you have ever been in your life. He puts his mouth on your nipple sucking it before moving to the other. His hand moves down to between the two of you working its way down to your folds. Roughly parting you rubbing against your entrance with his fingers before sticking a finger into you.

“GOD... you are tight!” he groans against your chest. “You’re gonna feel so good for the guys.” He smiles at you pulling his finger out before lining himself up to you. You begin struggling again but he holds you in place pushing into you. He growls and you feel tears falling down your cheeks. He stills for a moment and then begins to pound into you. He is moving slowly at first, but his pace picks up quickly. He is grunting and moaning over you as he begins to reach his orgasm. You can feel him grunting against you and this makes you cry even more. As silent tears fall, he rams into you hard enough to make your whole body jerk. He is spilling into you with languid thrusts. You hear the door opening from behind him. Three other men enter the room. He is slowly pulling out of you, as the men close the door behind them. Closing your eyes you are wishing you to die. The man who just violated you leaves the room returning, bringing a chair back into the room. “This is one prime piece of ass boys. Don’t mind if I watch? I may want seconds.” He says his eyes not leaving you. The three other men are already getting undressed. Your sobs are now tearless but no less emotional. You think this must be what hell is like.

The first man is moving over to you, as the other two watch closely. “Hi, sweetheart.” He says you kissing down your neck. You want to throw up, recognizing the voice as the one on the walkie. “We're gonna make you forget all about the Captain.” whispers into you ear slamming into you. His pace is slower. He is enjoying the moment, not in a hurry to be done anytime soon. Another one the guys coming over, grabbing your face turning it towards him. “I’m going to put my fat cock into your pretty mouth. If you bite me, I will knock out every one of your teeth. You understand?”

Your eyes going wide. Before you can say anything, his dick is pushing against your mouth. He pries open your mouth with his fingers beginning pumping into your mouth. You are gagging trying to focus on breathing. The man in your vagina is groaning loudly, while the man at your face is grabbing your hair. "Holy Christ! She’s good at this!” He pants out, moving in and out of you faster.

The other man responds. “I think I need to try that next.” He is panting moving faster in and out of you you as well.

The third man speaks up. “Hey guys, I want in,” he speaks up trying to remind them. The two men just continue. “Just wait your turn!” the man in your face grunts out. Moments later he spills into your mouth you choke on the cum. Pulling out of you, his softening cock dropping for a moment. The man pounding into you cumming quickly, slamming into you chasing his organism. One he finishes he climbs off of you. The third man is about to climb onto you when the man who was just in your mouth gets an idea.

“Let’s all do her at once.” He looks around the room and sees curious looks from the other men. The third man nods he just wants a chance at you.

“Here, hold her legs up. I’ll loosen the shackles a bit." The men move around. You hear the movements of chains and feeling the chains loosening a bit. You can feel the cuffs above your head shifting to the side. The man slides under underneath you. You begin to cry fresh tears, feeling him pressing against your ass. The other man, the third one. Eagerly getting on top of you the first man moves your face.

He immediately shoves his dick into your mouth, effectively silencing. Within seconds, both men penetrate your holes at the same time. The scream lost around his cock, making your mouth rumble around his dick giving him even more pleasure. “FUCK” he cries out.

“Good...isn’t she?" the man underneath you gasp out. The three men setting a brutal pace inside of you. They settle on a rhythm that has you bouncing back and forth between the two men. The third man ramming himself into your face, holding your hair for leverage.

“That’s it baby take my cock in your ass” the man below you pants into your ear as he grabs hard onto your breasts. The man above you begins to pant louder. "Fuck! She is so tight!” he groans moving his hand to your clit rubbing it. “Holy shit” he cries out again as the man below you begins speeding changing pressure and sensation for the other man.

You see the leader standing behind the man in your mouth moving over to the rest of them. You close your eyes not wanting to know what he is planning. “Hurry UP,” he says to the man in your face, deciding he wants to get back in on the action. The man in your face groans, and nods. Moving faster in and out of your mouth as he cums into you. Before you even have the chance to breathe the other man is shoving his erection into your mouth setting a fast pace. “Christ, I think we need to keep this one on tap!” He laughs as you try to keep from choking. He is sinking deep into your throat.

You feel the man on top of your finishes and then another takes his place. The men trade positions on you for what seems like hours. You feel yourself going in and out of consciousness. When you wake for what could be the third or fourth time you notice the men seem to be finally slowing from their marathon.

Just as the one on top of you finishes you hear alarms go off.

"Fuck" The guy at your mouth yells. "Guys we got company."

They quickly dress and leave you. You hope that it is Cas finally hearing your constant prayers. You try to see what is happening, but instead, you feel yourself slip out of consciousness


	23. Chapter 23

Dean is following behind Steve, watching the man work. Steve is like a one-man wrecking crew. Dean takes out a few men, but mostly he is just watching Steve tear through the facility. He can see how the other Avengers naturally follow him. He natural takes command of the room immediately representing a threat through his presence. Dean is watching his back, taking out people who come up from behind. Dean feeling it is surprising the lack of men in the facility. He thought given what little he has been told about Hydra, they would be facing a small army. But Dean isn’t about to complain. 

They seem to have cleared out every room along the way. Some of the rooms were empty holding cells, offices, and storage for equipment and weapons. They are onto the last door positioned at the end of the hall. Steve opens the door holding his shield in front of him and walks in.

He sees you lying unconscious naked and shackled to a bed. He glances around the room, not seeing anyone running up to you. Dean starts moving into the room tucking his gun away. He freezes when he sees you looking up at Steve. Steve is completely livid he eyes meeting Dean. "Stand in the hall and make sure no one else comes in here." Dean nods looking at your bruised and battered body one last time, Rage filling him. Steve turns to you, he considers waking you but decides against it. He quickly unlocks the shackles with keys he found on one of the, now dead, guards. He looks around seeing a pile of clothes on the floor. Picking them up, he slowly begins dressing you. He is extra gently fo the bruises on your face and arms. You slowly open your eyes, the movements of Steve dressing you shaking you awake. For a second, you start to fight him before you realize who it is. You immediately break into tears and jump into his arms. You're holding him as if he is the last life preserver in the middle of the ocean. Steve wraps his arms around you, feeling you cringe, he pulls back. He gently picks you up, just holding you to him. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers and you begin to sob even louder.

Dean lets Steve have his moment with you. Dean listens to the tow of you as he monitors the hall, after a moment. "I'm not trying to push, but we need to leave before they bring in reinforcements. “Steve…” He says walking up to the two of you, coming to stand beside Steve. “We should probably get her back to the bunker. Maybe Dr. Banner can make sure she's....” Dean trails off unable to continue. Steve nods scooping you up, carrying you out of the warehouse. When the three of you get to the car, Cas is already there waiting, relief is on his face when he sees you in Steve’s arms.

Steve standing there for a moment while Dean opens the back door for him. He climbs in holding you to him. Cas climbs in the front passenger seat, looking over his shoulder as Steve sits silently holding you. Steve will not take his eyes off you, Cas watches as he stroked your hair, his fingers tracing your face, then he leans down and kisses you on the forehead. The scene telling Cas how much the man truly cares for you, how much you truly care for each other.

When all fo you get back to the bunker Tony and Natalia show up right behind them. The group follows Steve as he carries you down the stairs and straight to your shared room. Tony completely refurnished the entire bunker for the team, ensuring that their accommodations would guarantee rest and comfort.

After Steve settles you into your new bed, grateful for the fact that the larger beds Tony ordered will allow for him to give you the space you will need to recover. Bruce appearing moments later to check on you. Bruce's examination of you is hard for him. You are skittish to let him touch you, but after Steve talks your hand and reassures you you'll be okay. You allow Bruce to complete the examination. When Bruce is done he motions for Steve to follow him, then goes to wait outside your door. "Doll..." Steve's voice soft and dripping with compassion and love. "I'm going to go get you some soup and juice. I'll be right back. You going to be ok?" His eyes probing yours looking for any sign that he needs to stay. "Can you see if Dean has Chicken noodle?" You say smiling. Your voice horse and weak. "Definitely...if not I'll send him out to get some." "Cas..." you start to cough. Steve's heart sinks. 'Is she asking for HIM?' "He's out with the others..." You realize what he is thinking and quickly shakes your head, suddenly feeling dizzy at the movement. You stop take a deep breath then try again. "No, send Cas...he'll be faster and I'm hungry." Steve smiles at you, looking at you in amazement. After what you just went through you are still maintaining your sense of humor. He leans over to kiss you on the forehead. You quickly move your hands up to his face pulling him to your lips kissing him deeply. Steve instantly responds to the kiss. After a second he gently pushes you away. "Hey, I'll be back in a minute with food and videos." You sigh then nod. Steve steps into the hall closing your door behind you. "Bruce how bad is it.?"

Bruce hangs his head, he is trying to fight back his emotions. HE decides to give a basic diagnosis keeping his distance treating you like a test subject. It is the only way he can keep from breaking down. He takes a deep breath. "There is extensive vaginal and rectal damage. He throat is severely raw. She has no broken bones but some of the bruises need to be monitored to prevent internal clotting. When I run the blood tests I will know if there are any STD's or other infections I will need to treat her for." His eyes moving to Steves. Steve's jaw is clenching as are his fists.

"Banner, we're talking about Y/N. I need to know how to help her and your acting like a FUCKING ROBOT!"

Bruce steps back. He has never heard Steve use that word before. He's never raised his voice to him. "Steve..." Bruce starts taking in a deep breath. "Thing like this change a person. She went through a very traumatic experience. I would say the best thing you can do is be there when she wants you to be and give her space when she asks for it. Most importantly try to get her to talk about it. The more she talks about what happened and how she is feeling the easier it will be for her to move forward with her life. Steve breathes in deep nodding.

Bruce and Steve reach the main area where everyone else sits waiting. Steve looks around for a moment. "Dean...can you point me to the kitchen. Y/N is a bit hungry."

"Yeah man, right this way." Dean heads off to the Kitchen as Steve follows him. All eyes watching as they walk away. A silence filling the room. After a moment Tony breaks it. "So glad that drama is over..."

"For now, at least..." Natasha finishes.

The remaining people in the room redirect their attention back to their reports, working the case.

When the two men enter the kitchen Steve begins looking for something to make soup with. "Where are your pots?"

Dean is at the fridge pulling out a beer. "What you trying to make?"

"Y/N asked for chicken noodle soup..." He replies continuing looking for what he needs, pausing when he finds you a bowl.

"Here..." Dean says handing him a box of dry soup. "This is her favorite." Steve takes the box giving Dean a nod. He starts to read the instructions on the back while Dean walks to another cupboard pulling out crackers. then leans down digging out a tray from a rack full of cookware. Dean looks over, seeing Steve beginning to microwaving your soup.

"So...is she going to be..."

"She will be..." Steve cuts him off. His voice is low, Dean can feel the anger in it, deciding to leave it alone, for now.

"Well, it looks like you go this, so I'm gonna..." Dean trails off motioning to the door.

"Yeah...thanks," Steve says as he stirs your soup before putting it back in the microwave.

Steve finished heating up your soup. He places the hot bowl on the tray and grabs a few napkins off the table putting them on it as well.

When he gets to the common area with your tray, he can feel the eyes on him. He looks up as Nat moves in front of him. "Steve..."

"Nat...don't"

"It's not..." His eyes pleading with her to not say it. She drops her head, changing her mind. "If you two need anything..."

"I know..." Steve trying to smile at her. She nods stepping aside quickly.

Steve makes his way to your room. He slowly steps inside not wanting to disturb you if you are asleep. But he finds you awake flipping through channels on the T.V.

"Hey...I have food..." He says trying to sound chipper.

"My savior...." You call out to him dropping the remote in favor of food.

"Careful it's hot..." Steve tells you sitting on the bed next to you. You move over slightly to give him space the movement causing pain to shoot from your core. Steve seeing you wince immediately setting the food aside on one of the end tables. "Baby...hold on. You need to be careful."

"I'm fine..." You say holding your hands out for your tray. Steve places it carefully on your lap. "Thank you."

"Love you..." he leans over placing a soft kiss on your lips. "I'm going to go see if Banner can write you a prescription for pain medication." After taking a tentative sip of your soup you nod.

"Steve..." He turns from the door looking at you. "I love you too," you say to him. He smiles. stepping out closing it behind you. He walks quickly out to the main room.

“I’m going back. I'm going to see what they are up to,” Steve says informing Tony. Turning to Bruce, "Can you give her something for pain...and possibly sleep?

"Yeah...ok..." Bruce usually carries a lot of medicines with him do to the teams repeated injuries. He figures he can come up with something.

“I’ll go with” Tony answers. “The rest of the team will be here in the morning.” Steve nods. He didn’t want to leave you in the condition you’re in. He also knows whatever they are planning for you is a worse threat. Now, having you here in the safety of the bunker, he is determined to eliminate the threat completely.

Steve and Tony make their way to where they wear keeping all the gear, running into Natasha. Tony continues past her looking at her over his shoulder for a moment starting a program for his suit. “We’re going to do some recon, you ready?” Tony tells her while Steve steps into the bathroom to change. Nat moves without hesitation grabbing guns and nodding to Tony leaving the room. Steve steps out of the bathroom just as Natasha comes back into the room. Seeing Natasha joining, Steve nods, glad to have her along with. Tony and Nat head up to the garage piling into the rental. Dean and Sam also decide to join the group. Sam mostly because he wants to see the team in action. Dean because he just wants to know what the hell is going on. Both offer their expertise on monsters. "I'll be right back, I'm going to let Y/N know what is going on.

He enters your room quietly. Seeing you are finishing up eating he moves, taking your tray away. He turns, putting it on a nearby chair then sits on the bed next to you. Reaching to turn on the bedside lamp he sees two pill bottles on your nightstand. "Did you take these yet?"

"A pain pill...it's kinds early to take a sleeping pill." you smile at Steve. "I don't think I can sleep unless you're holding me." You feel tears in your eyes. The new fear you are feeling paralyzing you inside. You no longer feel safe alone.

"Baby...I'll be back soon." He says softly leaning over you kissing you softly. You pull him into you. Trying to pour all your fears, your emotions into it. After a few moments, you pull back.

" Ok..." you say quietly.

Steve steps out the door closing it behind him. He starts down the hall running into Cas. Steve, walking over to Cas, reaches a hand out stopping him. ‘Hey. Can you keep an eye on her for me please?”

Cas nods, he is feeling the impact of the words, along with the actions. The man in front telling him mountains with those simple words. You were his, Cas may be feelings there for you, but you belonged with Steve. Steve could protect you in ways that Cas could not. Today had proven that. “Yes, I will keep her safe.” Cas nods in response.

“Thank you,” Steve says. Even though he hasn’t admitted it, Steve knows how much you and Cas mean to each other. He also knows the angel will die to keep you safe. Steve just hopes that despite all this, he will win out in the end. With a nod, Steve leaves you alone with Castiel.

Cas turns watching Steve leaving to meet the rest of the team. After a moment, he turns back walking into your room. Glad to have a moment alone with you. He desperately wants to talk to you. Wanting to let you know, no matter what you chose, who you choose, he will love you and protect you and your baby the best he can.

When Cas enters your room, he sees you lying peacefully on the bed. He just stands there in the doorway. Watching the beautiful sight in front of him. You are looking so angelic, your soul is so bright, you are beautiful and the child you carried, is like a beacon. He wants to burn the image of the moment in his mind. He begins feeling tears falling from his eyes. The pain of knowing you have most likely chosen Steve a reality. Cas knowing he will have to accept your choice. It is a good choice, he says to himself, trying to convince himself it is the truth. His heart crying out to him, telling him you belong with him. His mind telling him you’d be safer with Steve and the rest of the Avengers. 

Moving further into the room, sitting on to the edge of the bed. He takes a moment taking in the room Stark furnished for you and Steve. Stark seems to have really made it more like a home for the two of you. There are pictures of you with the Avengers team. He picks up one, it is of you, arms are around two men. One is Steve, the other was also a blonde man, but the other man’s hair was longer, he is wearing warrior garb. Examining the man closer realizing after a moment it is the pagan god Thor. He sees the two men are smiling fondly. The image shows a bond much like Cas feels with the Winchesters. Putting the picture down, he reaches over picking up another. This one is more candid. It is of you, with white foam of some type, all over you. You are laughing, spraying what appears to be the same substance on Tony. As Cas is looking in the picture sees Steve in the background. Steve looks as if he is sneaking up on you. Again you all seem so happy and carefree. A look Cas has never seen on the face of You, Dean or Sam before.

He puts down the picture, hearing you starting to stir. He turns to look at you seeing you slightly open your eyes then covering them quickly moaning at the lights. He snaps his finger turning them all of but the bedside lamp.

You try to say something, but it is a verily audible whisper. “Shhhhh…here drink this.” He says grabbing a glass of water sitting on the table. You take a quick sip swallowing slowly.

“Thank you.” Your voice much clearer. You sit up slowly looking around. You realize you fell to sleep. "Where is Steve?" you ask looking around. 

“Everyone went?” He simply nods. "Everyone one but Dr. Banner...." “And they haven’t killed each other yet?” He chuckles at that. 

Cas laughs, oh how he missed your sense of humor. “Not that I am aware of.” He smiles at you. His smile is making your heart melt.

You suddenly realize that Steve and Cas may have been in the same room for an extended time. You need to know. “Does Steve know…” You take in deep breathe in. “Does he know about the baby?” you ask Cas.

Cas’s heart is aching, he knows that this is going to be a point of contention for some time. “Yes, he knows, but…” he takes your hands in his. “He believes the baby is his…actually...I think he has...decided to believe the child is his.” Cas correct himself. Cas’s heart sinks. The knowledge Steve is out fully believing the child you are carrying is his, hurting Cas more than he believed possible. “Should I tell him?” you have no idea why you are asking Cas this. You don't want to let Steve go on believing the child is his when it could be Cas' or even Deans.

“I would say that is your decision. I will be here for you either way.” Your eyes tear up at the love that Cas is showing you. “But you do need to make a decision soon," Cas says, then realizing that his mind is on an entirely different topic. "I believe Steve already thinks that you have. That you have chosen him, and if that is the case then it is good. But if you want to go another way…” Cas looks down at his hands clasped between his knees. “You will need to let him know before he falls too deeply in love with you.”

“Cas…I don’t know what I feel.” You turn to him reaching out for his hand. He gladly gives his hand to you, letting you pull it to you. “And now,” you move his hand over the baby inside you. “I have even more at stake.” He lets his hand stay there for a few moments then slowly pulls it away

Cas shifting slightly, taking both your hands in his. “Y/N, either way, if you chose him or me, I will be here for you. All you have to do is pray for me and I will be here.”

You feel tears falling down your cheeks, that is all you wanted to hear. Cas moves even closer to you. He hesitates, then moves to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks. You lean into the touch closing your eyes. The comfort bringing a feeling of love with their touch. You feel his fingers leaving your cheek and your open your eyes to be met with the deepest blue of his eyes. You feel his breath on your lips and lean into his lips searching for a kiss. Cas quickly complies. You reach your hands up to his face holding him there. With the touch, Cas deepens the kiss.  
Steve getting back to the bunker going directly to your room finding you curled up in the bed. He can tell you had to have gotten up while he was gone, you had changed. Deciding to let you sleep he walks out to the main room to go over their next move with the others. As Steve is walking down the hall, he runs into Cas. “Cas, how is Y/N is she okay?”

“She is sleeping at the moment. She took a hot bath earlier and requested a change of clothes. I made sure she did not do too much too quickly.” Steve nods. Cas did not tell steve that he helped you with the bath or helped you to dress. He knows that information will anger Steve immensely.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her for me.”

Cas nervously clears his throat. “Yeah…Sure.” Cas leaves quickly. Steve finds the behavior odd but dismisses it as the continuously quirky behavior of the angel. It's been a long emotional day for them all. Steve is just looking forward to getting the men who hurt you.


	24. Chapter 24

The next couple of weeks you are confined to your bed. Steve cares for you, bathing you and bringing you food. He spends his days tracking and hunting down Hydra cells and evenings cuddling you in your room talking or watching T.V. and movies. The two of you find a comfortable pattern. You would feel almost domestic if you weren't stuck in bed. The routine making you long for the simple life you always wanted. You the first time you are beginning to see the possibility for normal. A life with this man next to you slightly snoring, having fallen asleep watching the rom-com with you.

Three days later Steve stumbles into your room bloodied and beaten. You are startled from your book and quickly move to him he drops down into an armchair near your dresser. You move to help him remove his gear. "Sweetheart..." Steve sighs grabbing your hands stopping you.

"Steve..." You look up into his eyes. "Let get you into a hot bath."

His eyes immediately shoot to yours. It has had been weeks since you even suggested any intimacy. "Doll....you don't have to...."

You smile back at him. "I know..." you stand holding your hand out to him. "That isn't what I meant. I just want to clean you up...you stink." you finish smirking.

"Yeah...I probably do..." He begins chuckling getting up taking your hand, the two of you going into your bathroom. You start the water as Steve is starting to undress. You climb into the tub, Steve entering from the other side facing you. You move closer to him starting to wash his chest and arms. His eyes meeting yours. Keeping his eyes on you he moves a hand to your cheek. "You don't have to...."

You lean in kissing him fully. It is the first time you have kissed him in weeks, the move surprising him. He pulls you closer moaning into your mouth. You slowly push away. "Steve..."

"I'm sorry..." Steve whispers looking away feeling ashamed for pushing you.

"No..." You smile at him. "IT not that...I just want to take care of you." You say softly resuming scrubbing his stomach before reaching around to his back. You can feel his erection against you as you sit in his lap scrubbing his back. "There little better..." You whisper into his ear then kissing him softly one more time, pulling back grabbing the shampoo and a cup. You hold them up to him and he smirks.

"The full treatment...huh," he says smiling at you.

'Well, that depends on what you think that is?"

"Just give me the shampoo." Scolding you, he grabs the shampoo, beginning washing his hair. The two of you finish washing up and you turn to snuggle into him you back against his chest. You only move after you hear his softly snoring behind you. Carefully unwrapping his arms from around you as you try to get out of the tub. You move to let out the water when you feel arms wrapping behind you again. "Hmmm... where are you going?"

"Well, we can't live in the tub Steve." You turn your head look at Steve behind you. I was getting out...I'm draining the water. Steve looks down seeing the water level is slowly dropping. 

"Well, I guess that means we should move this to the bed." He whispers into your ear. 

"That's what I was trying to do," you say lightly slapping him on the chest playfully. You both get out of the bath, drying yourselves off, before heading into your bedroom climbing into bed. Steve pulls you into his arms and you snuggle into his chest.

"We have a lead on the main base." Feeling you tense, he leans over softly kissing you. "It seems to be the core of the cell they are bringing in monsters day and night." Steve pauses for a second knowing this next part may worry you. "Tony is calling in the rest of the team. We're going to make a plan and teak them all down." All you can do is a nod as fresh tears fall down your face. The nightmare is finally going to be over. You just didn't want Steve to leave you. You only feel safe with him, in his arms. "Hey...Hey..." He runs his hand over the back of your head. smoothing out your hair, trying to calm you. He pulls your face p to his. Looking you in the eyes. "I'll be fine...I need to do this for you....and for me." You start sobbing again while you nod.

Steve lays there holding your sobbing from. You cry out all your fears and frustrations, all your fears just come pouring out. You never cried since the day he rescued you. You keep all the pain and fear locked inside your mind, until now. When you began crying it was like a dam of emotions broke feeling all the pent-up emotions flowing out of you and onto Steves tear-soaked skin. After a few minutes, you pull away from him and look into his eyes. You can see the sadness he is feeling, also the love he is feeling for you. You need to feel more of the latter. You pull him in kissing him, he murmurs in surprise against your mouth but quickly giving in. He slows lifts himself off the bed as you lie down on to it. You feel his torso pressing agast yours. His hand slowly moving down the side his body is not pressed against. When his touch reaches you hip you panic and push him away.

"I'm sorry..." You start crying a soft whimpering cry.

Steve freezes in place watching you then moves his hand to your face wiping away the tears. "No...it's okay." He kisses you softly sweetly, your tears ceasing to fall. "We can take this as slowly as you want...." he kisses your forehead. "I waited for 3 years, I can wait for 3 more if you need me too." You nod and curl into him. "Let's just get some sleep," Steve whispers into your ear kissing he side of your head. You both lay down, your head resting on his cheat his heart beating a soothing thu-thump in your ear as you fall asleep.

You wake up the next morning, smelling coffee. As you wake more you take in the smells of breakfast cooking. The smell of bacon making your stomach grumble. Moving slowly, you climb out of bed. Your muscles are still very sore from... your abduction. Taking a quick shower, hoping it will make your body feel better.

You reach the dining area to see the entire crew gathering up. 'They must've come in last night.' you think to your self smiling at the idea of everyone being under one roof your old family and your new. Steve catching sight of you sees you quickly moves to you smiling. He is holding up a plate for you. Taking the plate from him you start adding extra bacon on to your plate. “Thanks,” you say quietly, and he smiles at you then leans in and kisses you softly. You make your way over to the table finding a spot to sit. You see the eyes of the entire team watching you, no one knowing what to say. But their silence is saying plenty. They all know what happened to you, or at least some of what happened to you.

“How are you feeling today, any side effects from the new medications?” Bruce turns to you asking you from across the table. Thor is looking at you too.

“No, I feel fine,” you answer then add. “I'm still sore, but other than that I feel ok.” Steve spins his head looking at you. "What...You never...," he fully turns on you looking you over. "Are you okay? Should you...I can bring you back to bed..." Now all eyes are on you the new additions looking on in curiosity. Giving you the impression that the relationship between you and Steve did not get much mention. "No...Steve..." you place your hand on his. "I'm fine it's good for me to move around." he nods and you smile. Trying to lighten the mood you continue. "You can't keep me in bed all the time...no matter how much I may enjoy it." Barton chocks on his toast, while Thor lets out a deep bellowing laugh. Steve's face turning a deep red, and your smile, goal accomplished, the mood is now changed. Everyone begins commenting on Steves reaction to you. The group joking with him much to his dismay. This gives you the distraction you need from all the focused attention. Your eyes looking over the table. When your eyes catch Cas's you feel drawn in. He sees the look in your eyes the need and he nods understandingly. The two of you, always seeming to know what the other was thinking with a look or a touch. You really need to talk to him about what is going on, but not sure when you’d get the time.

“Well, today is going to be about getting you back on your feet. I’m going to start training you one some self-defense.” Nat says to you. 

“NO!” five of the eight men at the table exclaiming in unison, Nat's eyes opening wide as .

“Okay??” Nat says looking around, suspicion instantly peaking. “What’s going on?”

The entire table looking to each other trying to decide who is going to spill. You shake your head at the ridiculousness of the situation, it isn’t a state secret. Although, once shield learns about it, it might become one. “Nat,” You start testing your voice, she turns to you, waiting impatiently, not liking being left out of the loop. “I’m pregnant.” She gasps in surprise and she is not the only one. You now realize that Sam, Thor, and Barton had no idea either. Sam chokes for a second, Thor and Barton immediately looking to you for answers. You look across the table at Cas who is now staring into his lap, knowing exactly what this means for you and everyone else. Bruce and Tony automatically assuming it is Steve’s baby, but the rest are either unsure what to think or are unsure who the father is. 

“Congratulations Steve,” Bruce says full-heartedly mostly fro the benefit of the group. Steve is beaming knowing that the rest of the team now knows about his impending fatherhood. You immediately look to Cas and Dean, gauging their reaction. The looks of pain and hurt evident on their faces. Cas is accepting of the situation. He wants you to be safe and happy. Cas knowing the more you and the baby are accepted by the Avenger team as one of their own, the safer the two of you will be. Cas nods at you his eyes telling you he'll be fine but his actions telling you differently, suddenly getting up from the table leaving the room. 

You turn looking briefly at Dean. Glaring back at you, he mouths, “Fix This”. You turn, looking away in shame, knowing you need to tell Steve the child might not be his. You want to open up to Steve, to tell him everything that has happened to you, but fear is preventing you, afraid if you do he won't love you anymore.

Getting up from the table, you start gathering the dishes of those who are done. You move slowly trying to decide if you really want to talk to Dean or anyone. Debating on what you want to do. You feel someone moving up behind you, assuming it is Steve. It is routine for Steve to offer helo, he always helped you with chores at the compound. When you turn to say thank you, you are surprised to see Dean there.

“Dean” 

“Y/n, you need to tell him that baby may not be his. “Cas deserves that much at least....and so do I.”

“I know Dean." You start toward the kitchen and he follows quickly on your heels. Steve watches you go, wanting to follow, but is stuck discussing baby preparations with the team. They are al extremely happy and excited for the tow of you. "There is a lot I need to tell him...and Cas...and well everyone.”

“Like what?” Dean says, not liking the sound of this.

“NOT now.” Your voice stern.

“Yes! Y/N, right now.” Dean reaches out and turns you to face him. “You’ve never held back from us before.”

Tears are starting to fall down your face. “Fine Dean!" You are done. The frustration boiling over. You had been trying to avoid talking about it. Talking about it making it real to you. You have up until now convinced yourself that it was nothing but a nightmare. You had hoped to keep the reality away. "...you want to know what is going on?” Your ire locking in on him. Taking in a deep breath, you move to sit at the small table in the kitchen. Dean sitting across from you, looking directly into your eyes. You take in a deep breath, the reality of it is about to be revealed. 

“When I was taken by Hydra, they did things to me.” Dean tensed. “They experimented on me and the baby.” Deans eyes dropped. He already knows about these things. After a moment he recaptures your eyes.

“We were trying to get there as fast as we could. We didn’t have any solid leads right away.” Dean’s voice betrayed the pain he felt for not being able to get to you faster. Everything that happened to you happened in his town, you were there to see them. But then something comes to him. They took you because of him. They only wanted to get back at him

Nodding, you know they did everything they could, both of them did. You can see that Dean is still beating himself up over it. Knowing this killing you even more inside knowing that what you are about to say next is only going to make that worse. But you know you need to finish what you started for your sake as well as theirs. You all needing the truth to come out before you can get closure. You reach out grabbing Dean hands, holding them in yours. The feeling of your touch getting his attention. The last time the two of you were in this exact position you told him that you had feelings for him, that you wanted him. It was the first night the two of you made love.

“Dean, you need to stay calm, please for me.” He can hear the concern in your voice. This alone telling him that the situation is about to get a lot worse.

“I can’t promise anything you know that!”

“At least try…”

“Ok…”

“OK...” looking him in the eyes holding his hands tighter, you take a deep breath then continue. “I was raped when they held me captive.” You feel Dean trying to grab your hands tighter. Looking away tears filling his eyes, "I know...I'm....I'm sorry." You nod. "I know you are...that both of you are. But...Dean, there’s more.”

Dean turns back facing you. Tears pooling in his eyes. The destroyed look on his face breaking you. Taking a deep breath nodding, the anger bubbling inside of him.

“It was by more than one person…” Deans grip on your hands tightens. “At the same time. And separately. More than once” You finish. You couldn’t onto his hands anymore. He ripping his hands from you, throwing the chair he is sitting on across the room. The chair shattering on the far wall while he is storming out. You immediately begin crying. Sobs wracking your body. As you are trying to taking control of yourself. Natasha enters the room, moments later Steve following in behind her. Natasha immediately running up to you. Steve, however, seeing the scene, assuming the worse. He takes in the sobbing mess that is you along with the broken chair and the empty spot at the table across from you and makes his own conclusion, silently leaving to find Dean.

Steve finds Dean in the shooting range. Dean is unloading a clip into a target. Steve can see it has already received at least one clip. Standing back watching Dean unload the clip before stepping forward getting Deans attention.

Dean taking the ear muffs off looking to see behind him, Steve. Steve can see his eyes are rimmed red.  
“Y/N is upset,” Steve says.

“She has every right to be.” Dean says moving to a small waist-high table against the wall opposite the shooting range.

“And why is that, she’s here and I am assuming safe.” Steve’s tone a mix of questions and accusation.

“Oh! You think I DID something,” Dean says shaking his head. “Oh, that’s rich!”

“Pardon me?” Steve answers stepping forward getting defensive. Dean, in turn, getting defensive and even angrier. The two squaring off at each other. Dean getting angrier by the second cracking under the weight of fear and guilt

“They did this because of YOU.” Dean's stare getting more intense. “They did this to her BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO GET BACK AT YOU!!” Dean getting more courage as he gets more out moving up into Steve’s face, poking his chest with his finger.

“I know the ..." Steve can't finish his sentence, trailing off. Before Steve can say any more Dean continues. "I know that I was the one who held her every night as is she screaming in her sleep. I'm the one who she beats with her fists and kicks with her feet, while she is struggling in her sleep. The one who is holding her as she falls apart into a sobbing mess when she wakes." Steve pausing taking a deep breath, he can feel tears pooling in his eyes. "I think I know enough."

“You don't know... She told me....what happened to her.” Dean growls stepping back looking away. A fresh wave of pain and guilt rushing in.

“Ok…” Steve freezes looking at Dean. Steve's heart sinking..."What..." pausing fighting to remain under control... 

“They raped her, Steve”

"I know she was...." Steve interrupting Dean, not wanting to be reminded of what happened to you.

"JUST LISTEN!" Dean shouts at him effectively silencing Steve. After a second replaying what Dean said in his mind. Realizing what Dean might be saying. His heart instantly shattering. “They…” he repeats, hoping Dean did not mean what Steve thinks he is implying.

“OH yeah..."Deans voice is really low at this point. The rest of the information hard to think about let alone say. "They...as in more than one…She didn’t tell me how many, but she was clear. There was more than one.” Dean, trying to compose himself while Steve braces himself against the wall. “And more than one at the same time.” Steve is suddenly spinning around, punching the wall behind him. The cement crumbles as the tile covering the wall shatters.

Dean is looking on, giving Steve a few moments to work through the same feelings that he already had processed. Steve punches slowing, his knuckles dripping blood, his head is hanging between his arms. He is leaning against the wall hands pressed on it above his head. The spanse between his shoulders shaking as it rises and falls either from tears or anger. Dean knowing from the look of the wall, Steve is not someone he wants to push at this moment.

“We are going to find them, and we are going to kill them slowly.” Steve’s voice grinds out. Dean can feel chills down his spine. Hearing that come from Steve, with the sterling image the man had for composure and moral direction, he knew that this man was deadly, at this moment. They have called out the dark side of a very dangerous man. “Agreed” is all Dean can say. The two staying in the room shooting and trying to relieve frustrations. More than ever Steve longing for his gym.


	25. Chapter 25

After you calm yourself finishing the dishes you had brought in to the kitchen, you and Natasha return to the rest of the group. You find them in the main room looking over intel. The first person seeing the two of you entering the room is Thor. He smiles striding over to you immediately wrapping you in his arms, excited about you and Steve's new edition. "Congratulations!" He exclaims very loudly, getting the attention of everyone in the room. You wince in slight pain and discomfort and how tightly Thor is squeezing you. "Thor...can't..." You get out in gasps. Thor looking down at you seeing your contorted face quickly putting you down. He moves you out to arm's length checking you over. “I’m so sorry, Lady Y/N, if I injured you, of the little one you carry in your womb.”

You can't help laughing, “I’m good Thor. You didn’t break me.” He smiles back at you, his concern melting away. “Of course not! You are a strong woman. And you baby even stronger with the genes of a mighty warrior.” Your smile falters only slightly, as you try to keep it together.

“Stop hogging her.” You hear someone calling out from behind Thor. You look around him seeing Clint.

“Clint” you are calling out as you are running up to him. "Come here, you!" He calls to you holding his arms out as you jump into them. He smiles brightly pulling you in for a hug. “Hey, sweetheart. So you and Cap? When the hell did that happen?” He asks you smiling, you blush deeply. "And in the family way...you've been a busy girl!" He chuckles softly letting you go. You take a short step back. Clint staying close to your looking into your eyes and keeping his voice low, “Are you okay? This is a lot happening in such a short time?”

“Yeh, I’m fine.” You say smiling. Clint has always watched out for you in a different way than Steve. More like a big brother and it is always appreciated, especially now.

Sam clears his throat, before speaking up. “Hello” calls out loudly getting everyone’s attention. “ Now that everyone's eaten. Let me show you around really quick. Then we can start getting you caught up on where we are at in the investigation. Both men nod and you smile back them as they grab their things following Sam to their rooms. Dean follows along behind. Not being able to wait to show the guys his new, well-equipped, ultramodern man cave. All new to him thanks to Tony. Tony got the set up fro Dean telling him if he was going to spend any more time here, Dean is in need of moving into the 21st century.

You decide to take advantage of Sam's distracting of the other men to talk to Steve. You know you need to tell him the truth about everything if Dean hasn't already. The thought of telling him about the full extent of what happened while you were being held scaring you the most. You know that he has the right to know, but telling him might scare him away. He may see you very differently. He might lose his attraction for you, or not love you anymore, this is what scares you the most.

You find him in the room your bedroom. He is looking at the pictures you put on the dresser in the room. There are only three of them, but you took them with you wherever you went. They are of the happiest moments of your life, with them, the Avengers. One is of a trip to Coney Island with Steve and Thor., the second is when you were making ice cream Sundays and Tony thought it would be funny to spray you all with the whipped cream. The last is on the day you were assigned exclusively to the Avengers. It is just of you and Steve, and under the circumstances making it even more special to you than ever.

“You were so happy that day.” Steve says looking at the picture of your first day as an official Avenger.

“I was nervous as hell.” You say sitting next to him on the bed. "You being there making me, even more, nervous." You look to Steve and he smiles.

“Really, No one could tell.” He said softly. “You were glowing.” He looked to you his eyes soft and tear rimmed. “I fell in love with you that day. It in only knew you felt something...” He turns looking to you. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Steve...I had only just moved to New York. I was only working fro Tony for a month. We had only just met. I guess I was intimidated by the image of you. The iconic Captain America." You stop realizing you are rambling. You feel yourself blushing.

Looking up to meet his eyes, your heart racing, now you know he loved you the entire time you’d known him. It made what you had to tell him all the harder.

“You might change your mind after you hear what I say,” You say looking away from his gaze, tears brimming in your eyes.

“I know already,” Steve says reaching out slowly putting his arms around you hesitantly. The uncertainly evident in his reluctance.

“You do?” You look into his eyes, he nods slowly. “Dean told me.”

Your body stiffening. Realizing Steve is talking about what happened to you at the Hydra base. All you can say is “Oh…”, burying your face into his chest. He sighs pulling you in holding you close. You can tell Steve is trying to keep strong for you. You feel safety in his arms, but you can tell his breathing and heartbeat that he is trying hard to keep from breaking down himself.

You are crying onto his chest, relief that Steve knows and is still there, still holding you. Slowly feeling the tears slowing then stopping altogether. The safety and comfort of being in Steve’s arms calming you.

“There’s something else.” You pull back slightly looking at him again. Shifting back on the bed he reaches out, putting the photo on the bedside stand Proponing himself on the headboard, he motions for you to join him, You slowly climb up to him, laying against his side.

“Okay…” He says running his hand up and down your arm, holding you close to him.

“The baby…it may not be yours.” He pauses his movements for a brief second, then starting again.

You feel him sigh. His chest rising and falling. “I know.”

Your heart speeding up with love of fear you cannot tell. “If the baby is not yours, I'll understand, if you want to leave me.”

“WHAT?” the surprise in his voice making it louder than planned. “Is that what you are thinking? That I will leave you?” Steve says moving slightly so he can look you in your eyes. “Baby, I don’t care if this baby is Hitler’s, I love you...and this baby. He is a part of you and that’s all that matters to me.”

You start crying tears of joy. “Steve…” Too overcome with emotions to say anything. You change your approach pulling him in for a deep and passionate kiss. Steve moaning into your kiss. Leaning back against the bed, he pulls you into him. Your hands moving up his chest over his shoulders and into his hair. The love you are feeling for Steve making you want to give yourself over to him. You slowly position your self further on top of him straddling his waist while deepening the kiss even more. Steve’s hands slowly and carefully moving down to your hips. Holding your hips still, slowly pulling back from you you looks up at you.

“Y/N, if this makes you uncomfortable in any way…”

Looking back at him, feeling a hint a faint fear he is talking about. You know Steve will never hurt, never do to you what they did. The memory of them flooding into your mind. Your body stiffening at the thought of them and what they did, but it is gone the instant you hear Steve's voice. "Baby...we should. Maybe this is moving to fast for you." Steve whispers softly slowly puling away from you. Your eyes catching his eyes briefly. He sees the tears pooling in your eyes, brought on by the feelings of shame rentering your mind.

“Hey…Hey” Steve says pulling you into him for a soft comforting hug. “What they did to you! It isn’t your fault. You are beautiful,” he whispers kissing your cheek, “Sexy” he whispers again kissing your other cheek, “and a tremendously brave woman.” He whis[ers one last time moving to and kissing your mouth softly and lightly. You begin to lose yourself in the feeling of his kiss. When he pulls away from your lips, you find yourself following his lips with yours. "I love you," Hw whispers to your eyes searching yours wanting to be sure you see the truth in them. 

“I love you too, Steve.” His eyes softening.

“We are going to watch a movie.” He says scolding you as you huff in frustration, making Steve laugh. “Y/N, the rest of the team is here, we need to socialize.” You pout like a child, following him into the 'Man Cave'. The rest of the team is already there, and Dean is dishing up pizza and handing out beers. Steve grabs one and you go to do the same out of habit before Steve stops you, “Nope, we made you a smoothie you.” Nat hands you a smoothie. Raspberry Pineapple Mango,” 

You look at the beer in Steve’s hand then at your smoothie then smile up to Steve. "Thank you," you whisper to him and kiss him softly and briefly. The guys offer up a couple of catcalls and you blush. There are lots of changes that are needing to be made.

You and Steve settle into your seats just as Sam and Cas enter. Sam seeming all too excited that the team is there, Cas, however, is not quite as happy. His expression remaining stoic, meeting your eyes for a moment before sitting down in the far corner of the room. The presence of the Avengers has been like Christmas for Sam. They are heroes to him, and Captain America is a childhood hero to him. You are watching Cas sit silently, you can tell Cas is slightly hurting. Seeing you cuddled up with Steve, surrounded by the other Avengers Cas is feeling it is obvious you have chosen Steve.

The Sam walks over sitting by Tony who’s sitting down with his drink and a few slices of pizza. You continue watching the room before focusing on Dean. Dean turning looking back at you. He smiles but you know that it is fake. Before you can get up and go to him, to tell him that Steve knows. Steve pulls you against him whispering in your ear. "Tony made the movie choice....he thinks he is being clever, but I don't get the joke. You'll have to explain it to me later. You hear the seat massager turn on next to you seeing Thor playing with the seats remote.

You curl into Steve deciding to enjoy the night, determined to let your problems go away for just one day. The lights go down as you nibble on the pizza slice and sip on your smoothie. “Tony picked the movie so if there are any complaints…” You hear Nat say from the love seat to the left of Steve. “Hey…" Tony scold Nat. “I provided this cozy little setting so deep-six the complaints.” On the screen pops “Ghostbusters.”

“Really, Tony.” You say giggling. 

“Hey, this is a good flick.” Dean defends and Tony smiles.

The room goes quiet and the movie starts. The team remaining quiet as they eat and drink, enjoying the time they have together. It is not often that the whole team can enjoy some downtime. It making you happy that they are all here with you, especially your old family and your new one together and getting along.

At the ending of the movie, the group begins slowly moving into the makeshift living area now taking up what was the library. The team begins sitting down together, talking about cases, each getting crazier than the next. All of them, seeming to be involving you in some way. Feeling both a sense of pride and embarrassment as Dean begins telling them about the time you had gotten stuck in a vat of marshmallow fluff while investigating a haunting in a factory. Another time, Clint telling the team about how you had sent the team to the wrong location for a mission. The team ending up at a bachelorette party. Thankfully the humiliation of the story turning to Steve. The women at the party had tried to get Steve to give the lady of the hour a lapdance. You look over to see Steve blushing deeply. The story ends with Thor stepping in for poor Steve. 

“When we left there, we had over a dozen phone numbers from the maidens,” Thor states proudly.

Your eyes turn to Steve, eyes wide. He sees you looking up at him from his chest. “I threw the ones I was given away. A long time ago. I already had my eye on someone” Everyone laughing knowing to who’s benefit the outburst was for. Cas was not seeming to be amused. He is sitting quietly watching the two of you curled up together on the corner of the large sectional.

“Those ladies were a wild bunch,” Thor recalls fondly.

“Dean is quite the ladies’ man as well,” Cas says trying to change the subject. Dean glaring at Cas.  
“Is that so?” Thor raises an eyebrow at Dean.

“I do ok…” He says looking to you.

“Then how did you let Lady Y/N go?” Thor presses on. “If it were not for our fearless leader, I would have tried to court her myself.” Your head spins as you look at Thor. This is your first-time hearing this, you feel Steve shifting and his grip on you tighten, becoming clear to you it is the first time Steve is hearing of this as well.

“I guess we just weren’t meant to be…” Was all Dean can say, looking to you snuggled in Steve’s arms.

“Well, I’m ready for bed,” Nat announces trying to distract from the awkward topic. Alleviating the uncomfortable tension in the room. “Bruce?” She says smiling at him. He quickly nods getting up moving to follow Natasha. 

Bruce taking her hand in his, “Goodnight everyone.” He says then the two turn, walking out the door, down the hall to their room.

Thor doesn’t get the hint, pushing on. “Y/N, what made you leave our friend Dean here to join us in New York?”

You can feel Steve stiffening against you. You begin debating if you should even answer. You don't want it to look like you are hiding something if you don't answer that is exactly who it will look. If you word it right you can push this away to another topic. “I guess life got in the way for one. We were always on the move, no chance to create a life that allowed for anything substantial.” Your eyes meeting Dean’s, the hurt slowly creeping in. He knows he is finally getting the answers he has been wanting. “It wasn’t that we didn’t try. We were something for a while…a few years. But...we got into some heavy missions, and it took its toll, making me think I was not a priority anymore. So I moved on.” Dean’s eyes dropping with understanding. He knew what you were talking about and it hurt him. The Mark of Cain, that being at the heart of what pushed you from him. Then there was Amara. That was the nail. Cas had told him as much, it just hurt coming from you directly.

“Yeah, parting with the king of hell and then making out with God’s sister. Those aren't exactly the best ways to show a girl how much she means to you.” Dean jokes. The room laughs at the joke, but you hear the truth behind it. He is sorry for what he did. He hurt you and he is regretting it.

“Wait wait…” Clint is holding his hand up. “You are joking right?” Clint asks looking to Dean then Sam and finally you. When he sees the seriousness on your faces, he immediately sits up stone-faced.

“You are actually talking Heaven, Hell, The devil, and God?” 

“Yeap,” Dean replies.

“God has a sister?” Clint is trying to believe what he is hearing. “And you partied with Satan.?”

“Um no…Lucifer is a different being altogether. But we locked him in a cage in hell after he possessed me for a short time.” Sam explained. Crowley is the King of hell, and well he has a man-crush on Dean.”

“DUDE!!” Dean exclaims giving Sam bitchface. you bust out laughing.

“Well, Dean it's true,” you say while still laughing.

“It is true, Dean, Crowley has a real soft spot for you,” Cas adds.

“Hold up…” Clint is really getting into this. Thor is watching on with mild interest. While Tony begins making another drink having already had this discussion with the boys before. “So not only are supernatural creatures real...but so are demons, Lucifer and God.”

“And angels” you add just to get a reaction from Clint, smiling giving Cas a knowing look. Cas is looking back at you. Your look telling him 'We need to talk.' Cas nodding in understanding.

“Ok, now you lost me,” Clint begins again. “I’ve seen enough evil in the world to know that demons have to be real. But God. Where is he? Why doesn’t he fix the mess here on earth.?”

“Well…” Sam thinks quickly. “After the whole thing with Amara, Chuck...Gog, he likes to be called Chuck now, needed some time with his sister Amara, so they took a vacation.”

Clint just sits there staring at you all. “I can’t…God and his sister are on vacation?” He looks at you. “You lived all this. You know all these beings…” Clint asking you awestruck. 

“And you call God...Chuck!”

“Well, he prefers it. He was a writer here on earth, for a while, and the name just stuck I guess.” 

“Oh yeah...because if I was God I would just choose to write as a profession…sure.” Clint throws his hands in the air. 

“Writing is a noble profession.” Thor throws out.

“Okay, so we have every monster I could even imagine, demons, the devil, the king of hell, God, God’s sister, and angels.” CLint rattles off shaking his head still trying to believe what is happening. “You honestly expect me to buy all this?”

“Well…” you look to Cas. “Cas??” 

“You want me…”

“No!” You interrupt him. "Just show them your wings.”

Clint’s head spins to look at you, then back to Cas. “He’s an…”

“Oh yeah…Cas is full of surprises, not only is he an angel... who can teleport, heal, and kick your ass faster than Steve there. He’s also a recent ex-fling of Y/N.” Tony announces entering the conversation. You can tell he is bordering on drunk.

Clint, shooting a look at you, then Steve, as you pull Steve closer to you. You are unsure if you are trying to comfort him or yourself. “No shit!!” HE exclaims

“Cas…” You say softly. Cas nods spreading his winds as the lighting the room flicker from the power. You always loved seeing his wings spread out. They were large and beautiful. The room goes silent as the whole room taking in the display. You can’t help but feel a bit proud of the awe he creates in the group of equally spectacular men.

“Holly hell,” Clint says, his eyes taking the wings in. You can feel Steve momentarily losing his breath behind you. Thor even is looking on at Cas's wings impressed.

Pulling them back in again he turns looking to you. “Thank you,” he says softly to you. “It’s nice to spread them out sometimes.” He moves over retaking his seat on the chair opposite the sofa.

Clint turns to you, “When did you date an angel and why am I the last to know?”

You just frown looking down, Steve answer for you. “They didn’t really date. They had a dalliance about a few weeks ago.

Clint looking at Cas, then you, finally turning to Steve. “Oh…” he says suddenly finding the label on his beer bottle interesting.

“In Asgard, relations with the divine is punishable by death, you are indeed brave,” Thor says to you proudly.

“So is talking about a ladies love life,” You joke, and the group laughs except for Cas who just tips his head in confusion.

“With that, I’m heading to bed,” Sam says getting up to leave, giving you a kiss on the cheek and a nod to Steve.

“Well, it’s my bedtime too,” Tony announces. “Now behave kids.” He looks to you and Steve. “And you too keep it quiet. Cause if I have to hear her screaming out your name all night again, I’m going to have to buy earplugs for the entire team.” Tony smirks winking at Steve.

Cas immediately getting up, leaving without a word. Your heart goes to him, but you know you will get a chance to talk to him tomorrow. Dean getting up moving to take Cas’s seat looking right at you. Dean's gaze is soft but urging you to go after him, you nod to Dean turning to look up to Steve. “Steve can you give me a minute.” Steve just nods and kisses you softly on the lips before you get up to leave. 

“Go Cap.” Clint is whistling and whooting behind you. Getting up, you turn to him throwing a random sofa pillow at him. He catches it and smiles. “What? I gotta catch up.”


	26. Chapter 26

You follow down the hall after Dean. Trying to figure out what the hell he wants now. As you head down the hall to Deans room, knowing that is most likely where he is. You knock on the door to his room. "Yeah, get in here and close the door." You step inside and close the door.

"Dean..." You start to say walking over to him sitting next to him on the bed. He has his head hung low, rolling a tumbler of whiskey between his hands. "...I...I told Steve everything."

"And..." He replies not looking up.

"Steve and I are still together. None of the other stuff matters to him."

"Then why are you here?" He asks you looking up into your eyes.

"I thought you...? I don't know." You finish. Sighing then getting up. Dean grabs your wrist pulling you back down.

"Wait..." You look at him waiting. "I need to know...did what you say earlier. Is that true? You think we would've worked if not for all the shit that went down. If hadn't gone dark side?"

You look away. The truth is you know that if Deam hadn't turned demon if Amara wasn't released you would still be with Dean. But those things have happened, and now you are moving on. Dean seeming to sense your hesitance.

"You do..." He shifts moving closer to you.

"Dean..." You are still trying to figure out what to say. Before you can say anything Dean's lips find yours. He pulls you into him deepening the kiss. You are unsure of how to react. His kiss is tender and loving, soft and submissive. Completely unlike anything you've experienced with him before. You put your hands on his chest gently pushing. Dean lays back pulling you onto him, misreading your intentions. Push harder this time, he releases you as you sit up. "Dean...I can't...I'm with Steve now." Dean laying on the bed looking up you, sighing then saying, "It didn't seem to stop you from kissing me a minute ago."

"Dean..." You look away. "I still care for you, I do...I just...I need to do what's best for me. I love Steve. I know this now."

"Uh Huh." Dean sitting back up again. Searching you for any clue of a crack, a point of weakness to try to convince you to come back to the bunker to him. "So...if you love him what happened between us at the bar...or with Cas. I hate to tell you sweetheart, but love doesn't let you do that kind of stuff." You feel a tear falling down your cheek. Dean pushes on, but more cautiously. " Did you ever feel that same about me? OR was it just a crush like you're feeling for Steve?"

"Dean....I..." You want to say you love Steve again. but Dean is right. You are so confused about your feelings. Your feelings for Steve are very strong. You think they are real, and you do love him...but you are all over the place with your feelings. " I don't know..." You break into tears. Dean quickly moves to hold you to him. He is angry with himself for causing you pain but glad to open you up to someone besides Steve.

After a few moments, you feel your tears drying and the having left a short time before. "Dean..." Dean is kissing you again, with more fervor than before. You gasp but give in. The feeling bringing you back. The memories flooding in of the two of you, and how right it was, how good it felt. Moments later Denas kisses leaving you lips and traveling down your neck. His hands moving to your hips, pulling you into his lap. Deepening the kiss Dean moving his hands to your ass lifting you up with me turning and pushing you both onto the bed. You feel your head laying on the pillow as Deans hands start moving up your sides under your shirt. The sensation making your mind race. You try to focus on what you are feeling, gauging if it is the right thing if it feels right for you, but all you can think is how is Steve going to feel. You panic. "Dean...stop."

"Sweetheart, It'll be okay, I won't hurt you." He murmurs against your neck.

"DEAN...I MEAN IT!" You cry out louder than you intended, pushing him away with force. Dean moves off of you confused.

"Y/N...I'm sorry...I just..." Dean runs his hands over his face. He thought you wanted him to do something different not stop completely. Your body was responding to him your voice was filled with want. He knows your reactions to him these were the reactions of wanting more. "Shit...are you okay?" he looks at you deep in concern.

"Dean, I'm fine it's not that...I just. I can't. Steve........I gotta go." You whimper running from the room.

"Y/n!" Dean calls going after you. By the time he gets to the door, you are gone. "Damn it!" He smacks the wall near the door frame. He returns to his room hoping he hasn't pushed you even further away.

You leave heading to your room. You need Steve now more than ever. You need to feel him tell him how wrong you were. tell him how much he means to you and that you love him more than anything, convince him and yourself that he is the only man you want and need.

On your way to your room you pass Cas's room. Seeing you walking by, visibly upset he calls out to you. "Y/N..." Cas appears in front of you. "...you are upset."

"Cas..." You fall into this arms. "I'm so confused." You start sobbing into Cas's shoulder. Cas looking over your shoulder seeing if anyone is following you. Seeing you're alone, he pulls back from you motionings for you to come in. You nod stepping step into the room, unsure if you should sit on his bed with him or stay standing in the doorway keeping your distance. You choose something from in between.

Standing in front of him he is looking up at you, concern covering his face. You want to spill everything, tell him how your feelings are so confusing to you, how you just want to run away from it all. Cas has always been and still is your rock. He was the one your turned to when Dean and you fought, or when you began to question your relationship with Dean, he was the one you talked to when you begin questioning if you wanted to keep hunting. 'You can talk to him...you've always been able to talk to him, just open your mouth and speak.' you scold your self.

You’re about to tell him everything about Dean and how your feelings are all over the place. Before you can say anything though you feel Cas’s hands on your hips, pulling you to him. You are now standing between his legs, he is resting his cheek against your stomach. You run your hands through his hair trying to calm him and yourself. This is similar to what the two of you had done in the past. It is reminding you of how you comforted him in the past. The time when you both thought you lost to the Mark of Cain, That was a hard time for that both of you, it was also the first moment that you began to doubt your feelings, just like you are now. You sink into your knees in front of Cas, all your emotions just making your body go weak. Cas lifts you up onto the bed laying you next to him

“Do you love him?” Cas whispers lying down beside you.

You hear Cas but are trying to get your bearings. This day has just been way too much for you, too much happening, in too short a time. You just needed a few quiet moments with your thoughts. Cas laying next to you but not saying anything is just what you need, the comfort of his presence but also silence and distance. He is looking at you taking you in, your eyes meeting his. He is trying to calm you with his own thoughts. You sigh. “Cas, I care about you.” You admit.

“I know you have feelings for me.”

“No…Cas.” You reach out taking his hand pulling it around you to your back pulling him into you. “I…I” You are shaking hoping this goes better than you think it will. “...I do love Steve very much, He has been there for me this last year every day, He is still there for me through all this. He will always be there, be a part of me...my life. He has shown me I have a chance for a life outside of this.” You motion around you. “I need that, I need him. Now that I know I can have more. That there is more to life than death and disaster.” Cas looking into your eyes seeing the truth of your words, but also the pain behind them. Getting lost in his thoughts of the pain there, knowing it is because of your longing for him but unsure of what the longing means.

“Hey, Cas…” You lift his chin making sure his eyes stay on yours. “Steve is the man that I have chosen to move on in my life with. He is giving me what I need and want, but…you… you made me see that it was possible and that I love you.”

Cas quickly leaning in kissing you softly but briefly. “I love you too.” whispering into your ear. You shift moving your head onto his chest and he wraps his arms around you. You sigh with contentment, the calming feeling you are finding in Cas's arms is what you are needing You just wanted to feel him comforting you one more time.

“Cas, I’m going to be with Steve.” You look up at him, "this doesn't change anything, me being here with you."

“I know.” You look up at Cas, surprise on your face. “I knew...the moment he came into the bunker with you on his arms. You two of you belong together.” Fresh tears staining your face. “But I also know...nothing is forever, and if how you feel for him ever changes, I will be here.”

“Cas…about the baby.”

“It’s okay if you want Steve to be the baby's father, I understand. Steve is a good man. He will make a great father.”

“What I am trying to say..." Then you backtrack your thoughts. 'Did Cas just abandon his right to your child...to Steve?' Needing to know if that is what he is doing you continue. "Is that until we know who’s baby it is? It’s easier if we let people assume what they will. But once we find out, I will make sure everyone knows who’s baby I am carrying.” Cas's eyes meeting yours, he begins to speak. Shocking you with what he has to say.

"Y/N...the baby will be safest with Steve and the other Avengers." He beings, puling you in not wanting to see your reaction as he continues. "Steve will be a good father, he and his team will keep you and the baby safe....no matter who the father is." Cas loosening his grip kissing you deeply. When pulls away looking into your eyes seeing your eyes are welling tears.

“I want the baby to know his father...no matter who the father is." you tell him only able to manage a whisper. 

“Y/N, Are you sure?”

“Am I sure I want my baby to know his father?” You say with more authority as frustration replaces sadness. “It shouldn’t even be a question. Yes, I want my baby to know you.” taking his hands in yours. “Either as uncle Cas or Daddy.” You finish smiling. Cas smiling back, enjoying the idea of fatherhood.

“But I am with Steve now." You want to reaffirm this with Cas, making sure he doesn't think this is an opening to be with you. "I don’t regret the time we had, it will be a fond memory but that is all it can be.”

Cas nodding, “I will remember it fondly as well. And I look forward to meeting the baby.”

“Ok…” Moving off the bed, then standing before turning back to Cas. “It’s been a long day and I need to sleep.”

Cas standing then pulling you into a warm, soft embrace whispering in your ear while he is holding you to him. “Goodnight”


	27. Chapter 27

Entering your room you see Steve standing in front of your dresser staring at your picture. 

“So you going to come to warm me up?” You say softly moving in behind Steve. You wrap your arms around him resting your head on his back. Feeling him tensing, knowing something is wrong. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m surprised you're here?”

“Well, it is my room…” you say casutiously

“I thought you’d be staying with Castiel.” 

“Steve?” Hurt filling you voice.

“I saw with Cas, in his room, in his arms.” Steve turning facing you. Seeing the hurt, anger and then sadness in his eyes you quickly try to explain.

"Steve, I was just talking to him..." you start pulling him to sit on the bed with you. "We were talking about you, and our future. He was comforting me. I had a bad night. A lot has been happening so quickly and I have hardly had a moment to talk to him. I needed to tell him that I am with you, regardless of anything else." Your eyes pleading with him to understand. 

"But... Our child...it might be his right?

"Steve...you already know that it might be...there's a very small chance, but it is still a chance." Your eyes dropping to your feet

"You plan on letting him be in the child's life, in your life, if the baby is his?" Steve's eyes begin studying his hands.

"I was going to talk to you about that....but yes. I want the baby to know his father, no matter who he is." You pause figuring you might as well tell him the full truth. "And...even if the baby is not his...I need Cas to be a part of my life. I have felt empty these last three years and I think it is because he has been gone. I'm not saying that you aren't enough...trust me you are. It's just that he is the person who had my back for over 10 years. He was in my life before I came to New York…to you. He is...like what Bucky was to you”

Steve's eyes shoot up looking you in the eyes, tears welling in his already red-rimmed eyes. “Bucky, was like a brother to me...this...what the two of you have....it's different.”

"Steve...I know Cas and I...things are complicated. I want him to stay in my life as a friend! I'm trying to put my past relationships where they belong. In the past." Your hands moving to his face, turning him to face you. "I am trying to clean up my life so I can make the future I want. A future with you and OUR baby! Steve...I love you!"

The shock on Steve’s face giving you pause. You are unsure of how he is going to react. “I love you too..." After a few moments pause, he continues "So you do love me, you do want to be with me?” 

Pulling him to you, you kiss him with more passion than you ever have in your life. Kissing him, wanting him to know that you are choosing him over everything. Steve begins kissing you back, wrapping his arms around you deepening the kiss. His touch flooding your body with the electricity. Steve picks you up laying you under him on your bed before slowly pulling away from you. Confusion filling your face, your body aching for him. Looking you in the eyes." Hey, you don't have to do this." You see the concern in his eyes hearing it in his voice and you never wanted him more than in this moment.

"Steve...I more than want this." You whisper to him, pulling him down to you kissing him deeply. Steve rolls over pulling you on top of him. He begins slowly moving his hands under your shirt pushing it up over your head. He tosses the shirt side, moving his hands over you as you start removing his shirt as well. you toss the shirt aside. you resuming kissing him running your hands down his sides. When they reach his jeans you playfully linger then. Steve going the same to you. He groans in your mouth. his hand moving to slightly push you back. Looking into your eyes he asks again. "You...you're okay?"

Smiling you answer, "Steve, stop asking me. You're ruining the mood!" You sit up and begin unbuckling his pants. "Now...where did we leave off?" you smile mischievously pulling down his zipper. You begin shimming down his legs pulling his pants and boxers with you. Once you get them past his legs you slowly move back up over his body. You are about to stop midway seeing his rather large erection. You start to lower your mouth to not quite touching when Steve pulls you up to him. He kisses you fiercely rolling you back over the bed underneath him. with one hand he quickly removes your bottoms. Steve breaking the kiss, studying your eyes. You know what he needs, so you move your hand between the two of you lining him up with your entrance. You thrust up a bit the tip penetrating you and he growls. You pull him down to kiss him as he slowly pushes into you. You can feel every inch of him as he stretches you. The slow movement is agonizing and pleasurable. You hold on to him your hands clamping onto his shoulder blades trying to keep yourself from bucking into him. Knowing after what happened you need to take this first time slowly. Once he is fully inside of you you wrap your legs around him. He waits for a second before he starting to move a slow languid pace. You are instantly groaning the feeling quickly bringing you to a new level of high.

"God...Steve...You feel so good..." You are panting into his ear as he continues moving slowly.

"Baby...You okay..." he whispers into your ear. You can tell he is straining to maintain control. You moan nodding. He captures your lips with his continuing moving slowly. You can feel your orgasm building driving you crazy. You break the kiss then reach a hand around pulling his ear to your mouth. You nip his lobe softly and he growls. You smile at his reaction, whispering in his ear. "I'd be better if you show me I'm yours...Captain." He pulls away from you quickly, looking you in the eyes. Seeing your need and desire he moves his hands to yours grabbing them and quickly pinning them above your head. You squirm under him willing him to move again.

"Are you sure...? He asks you leaning over you closely.

"Very..." you whisper seductively.

Without another word, he starts moving in you faster and harder. You cry out, then begin moaning loudly. "GOD YES...STEVE!" you feel yourself quickly reaching your plateau. His pace keeping steady. You know however that he can move a lot faster and a lot harder. At the moment, however, what he is doing is perfect. You slowly begin meeting his thrusts with your own causing him to moan out. You try to pull him closer to you digging your nails into his bad that only seems to urge him to thrust into you harder. The new strength in his thrust building you faster. "Steve...GOD...YES....." You voice raising as your pleasure is raging to that peak moment...." STEVE!!!! Oh, GOD!!!!" You feel yourself leaving your body as your orgasm wracks your body. Steve keeps moving now as hard but fasters helping you through your high. when you return to your senses your eyes meet his with pure love.

"You..." But before he can ask again if you are okay you kiss him fiercely.

"Now...Captain... I thought I said to show me I'm yours..." You say softly. His eyes glow with lust and his jaw clenches at the challenges, you can see his trying to hold on to what he has left of his control. You want all of him nothing held back. So you decide to give him that extra push. "Captain Rogers! That's an order!" You say with clear authority.

Steve seems to snap, letting go of your hands he grabs tightly on to the back of your thighs hoisting them up pushing them and himself to you. He doesn't move just yet. "Baby if I do this you must tell me the second you want to stop, or if I am hurting you."

"Captain...Just fuck me." He instantly slams into you and you scream in pleasure. You quickly nod and he continues the same force starting slow but quickly increasing the pace until you are crying out his name as loudly as you can. You walls spasming around him. you are struggling to find something to hold onto as Steve's pace keeping getting faster. Your hands grab onto his forearms. You hear the bed slamming into the wall behind you faster and faster with the increase of steves pace. Your screams of pleasure have long gone silent with the overwhelming orgasm begins to wash over you. Steve shuddering against you as you both peak. He pulls you into him as he comes inside you. Holding you for a moment before you feel him hardening inside of you again.

A few seconds later he begins moving inside of you slowly but you stop him, putting your hands on his chest but keeping you legs locked behind him. "Baby roll us over." You whisper. He quickly rolls over on his back, and you begin gyrating your hips against him you spread your legs wider sinking deepening onto him, instantly feeling your orgasm rising side of you again. You groans of pleasure getting louder and you begin moving faster. Steve grabs you waist moving you up slightly and beginning hammering into you. The feeling driving you right over the edge, your thrid orgasm making you feel weightless. You feel yourself falling onto Steve but he catches you. 

He sits up with you in his lap he lets you fall back onto the bed grabbing onto you legs securing then over his bent legs, resting them on his thighs he starts pounding into you with new vigor. You take a few seconds to feel him still coming down from your orgasm. When you do regain the feel of your body you realize that your body is already reacting to Steve again. The new position has him hitting the deepest parts inside you and you can't help but cry out. 

"Steve....FUCK...GOD YES.....OH FUCK....YOU FEEEL....GOODD....YES....JUST....LIKE....GOD....I'M...." Before you can say anything else your wall squeeze around him. You see starts as yet another orgasm hits you. Spins the two of you around. HE pulls out of you quickly before flipping you over and thrusting back into you pulling your hips up to meet his. He trusts into you hard and faster a few times then sets a very rough pace. You can feel he is finally getting to a second climax... or is it his third you are so blissed out you can't think. All you can think about is this Adonis of a man filled with a need for you fucking you into peaceful oblivion.

"Fuck baby...I missed you..." He pants as his thrusts begin getting erratic. You are about to climax when run moves his hand around your waist to your core. His hand finding you click and begins rubbing fiercely. You feel your walls clenching as your orgasm rolls over you again, this time you bring Steve with you. "FUCK!!!....CHRIST!!! He cries out. His trusts slowly becoming slower. Eventually, he falls off to the side keeping you against him and himself inside you. "Baby, I love you." Steve sighs completely blissed out.

"Love you too." Is all you can manage before sleep overtakes you.

The next morning you wake to a note on your nightstand. You sigh, Steve had left early in the morning with the team to take down the Hydra base. You fall back onto the then best still feeling blissed from the night before. After lying in bed for a few more minutes you crawl off the bed grabbing a robe, walking to the kitchen. You make a pot of coffee then start frying bacon and eggs. You plate up the food and sit down about to eat when you hear Cas walk in.

"They leave you behind too?" You say to Cas motioning for him to sit.

"Steve asked me to watch over you and your baby." He replies simply.

"Huh..." You look back at your food, continuing to eat.

Cas getting up going to the fridge calling back to you, "You should be drinking milk and juice. You need to eat better." He pulls out a caffer of orange juice and a carton of milk. You watch as he pours you a glass of each then brings them over to you. "Here..." he says putting them in front of you. He retakes his seat across from you.

"Thanks..." You reach out for the juice drinking a large gulp. "So ya in for a movie marathon. Tony bought a virtual library full of movies for us to watch."

"I think I would like to see some of the movies that Dean keeps referencing," Cas replies smiling back at you. While you are finishing your breakfast Cas begins quizzing you as to where references originated, carefully writing the names down. When you finish the two of you make your way to the man cave to watch movies.

When the two of you settle in, Cas hands you the list. "Cas, that is a long list. You sure you're up for that?"

"I believe this is a restful activity, no strain on you." Cas answers. You look at him considering what he is saying.

"Steve told you to keep me from doing too much, didn't he?"

"Yes..." Cas answers hanging your head. You groan curling into Cas. "Can we just start on this list?" The two of you spend the rest of the day and late into the night watching movies, falling asleep cuddling up in Cas's arms. You wake the next morning to see Steve towering over the both of you.

"Steve..." Steve just stares. You want to disappear into the recliner.

"Steve...my apologies...We must've..." Cas tries to explain. Turning to glare at him steve raises his hand stopping Cas from speaking.

"Steve..." Your try again untangling from Cas, getting up. "You didn't come home last night...how'd it go?" You say trying to distract from the situation. Not even sure why you are feeling guilty. You didn't do anything wrong.

"Maybe I should have." His anger brimming, his knuckles turning white with pressure. "It seems I can't leave you alone with...." His ire turns to Cas. Turning back to you giving you a disappointed look, leaving the room. You stand still for a moment, fighting back the tears. This was all too much. You may have lost one of the most important men in your life because you can’t let go. 

“Y/N, you are upset.” You blink and in a second you are seeing Cas, standing in front of you. One of his hands reaches up caressing your cheek while running his hand lightly over your back, trying to soothe you. Pulling him down to you, holding onto him with all you have inside you. You feel like letting him go mean you will lose him too and in turn yourself. “Y/N…” He whispers your name into your ear. It's sinful the way his voice is making you tingle. You continue holding him, sobs wracking your body. Cas silently cursing Steve fro making rash decisions about his actions. Thinking Steve is being stupid and naive in rejecting the most beautiful girl Cas has seen in his many millennia on this planet. Standing there with you wrapped around him, wetting his shirt with your tears, he makes a decision.

You feel your body getting lighter than a feather, then just as quickly you feel your body laying back settling down on a bed that is softer than any you have ever laid on before. Pulling back from Cas you look around. You see whitewashed wood plank walls, various photos of you with the guys over the years covering the walls. In the right corner of the room is a larger antique dresser with a large mirror. You turn over your left shoulder to see a large window looking out over a lake. You recognize the view from the day you were taken. The day Cas brought you here to talk.

“Cas…” you start. Cas just puts his finger to your lips. “You are upset. You need to get away from there, from him.” With that, he kisses you deeply and you moan into him pushing his coat off his quickly. He helps you tossing it to the side. You feel him shift on the bed and soon you feel yourself being pushed back slightly and you allow yourself to fall back. Cas following you. You pull back momentarily. Your eyes meeting his, his searching yours. You feel a moment of uncertainty about what you are doing. 

Cas senses your hesitation, pulling back hovering above keeping a small distance. “Y/N, I should...I don't need to confuse the situation....” He begins moving, pulling away, you panic pulling him back to you kissing him fully and passionately, not holding anything back. Holding the back of his neck with one hand while moving the other down the front of his pants. Feeling his erection through the fabric of his pants. Feeling him hardening under your touch. You caress the bulge while pouring all your passion into kissing him. Cas, moaning into the kiss is now pushing himself against you, trapping your hand between his bulge and your core. Breaking the kiss, moving his lips to your neck. He begins kissing softly down one side of your neck then up the other. Continuing kissing you as is he moving his hands down your hips. He whispers into your neck, “If we don’t stop now, I won't be able to stop.”

Considering this your mind going to Steve. You know that you care for him. You want things to work with him, but Steve rejected you. He walked out on in you in a rage, thinking you are cheating on him, determined to believe it actually. 'What the hell!' you say to yourself, moving your hands up form Cas's waist Pull off his shirt. Taking this as a sign of your decision you begin feeling his hands slowly moving up your sides. His eyes never leaving yours, watching for any sign that you want him to stop. Your his hands sliding against your skin, moving up your body. Reaching down between the two of you beginning to undo his pants. Cas moves his hand over yours, gently pulling it above your head with the other. You feel him pulling your shirt over your hands. The way his eyes never leave yours, the simple gesture conveying the love and care he has for you. 

Your hand quickly returning to the act of removing his pants. Finishing with the button and zipper, you start pushing them down, MOving his hands over yours helping you finish, pushing both the pants and boxers down. Suddenly you are feeling uncomfortable with Cas being on top of you completely naked. The hesitance you feel quickly disappearing when Cas pulls you into him giving you a searing kiss. You push him away for a moment needing to breathe.

“I have too many clothes on," you whisper in his ear while he is kissing your neck. He hums into your ear, removing your remaining clothing quickly. He resumes kissing you, softly this time. The changing in the intensity of his passion sending your head spinning, relishing in the feeling of his body completely naked against yours. Running your hands up and down his back slowly, feeling his skin under your fingers. The sensation keeping you connected to him, to what you are about to do. Moving his hands down to your hips, you begin shifting them slightly so that he can position himself against you. Kissing you again, his kissing becoming more passionate mirroring his emotions perfectly. He quickly deepens the kiss as you ready yourself for him. Feel his tip against your core, testing your entrance and you. You yearn for him to be inside you, but he restrains himself, the feeling agonizing to you. You try to move hoping for some penetration, your desire driving you crazy. Cas quickly moves his hands to your hips, holding your hips in place. Breaking your kiss, he pulls his head back looking into your eyes. “I’m not going to enter unless I know you need me. I need to know how much I please you.”

This new side of Cas, this side taking control, makes your core start to throb. Hearing his rough deep voice telling you what he wants, making you want him even more. “Please!” you whimper. “I need to feel you inside me.” 

You try to move again, your attempts seeming to encourage Cas even more to tease you. Letting his the tip slide into you before quickly pulling it away. You feel his hand moving from your hip around to the inside of your thigh. His fingers finding their way into your folds and start to rub your clit. This makes you moan wantonly. The sound of your moaning making him move his fingers slightly faster. The increasing pleasure makes you moan louder. Feel Cas move a finger inside of you moan in pleasure. His ministrations continue and he adds a second one. They curl in side you slightly hitting you in the perfect spot. You trying to buck into him but ar pinned down unable to move. Within moments you feel your orgasm rushing through you. “Cas!...FUCK...YES!” Moving his lips from your neck meeting yours he adds a third finger begins moving the fingers together slowly in and out of you while his thumb is beginning gently rubbing your clit. You cry out into his mouth in pleasure, You are teetering on the point of orgasm.

“That’s it.” Cas whispers encouraging you. “Call for me... before I ram my cock inside you.” The dirtiness of his words and his ministration are driving you closer to the edge. You feel your self-wiggling under him as he moves his fingers inside you. Cas’s breathing is heavier, and his rhythm is getting faster.

“Cas....please....I need you inside me. Now!! Please!!” you cry out, whining with need.

“Do you need me inside you?” Cas whispers. Thrusting his fingers into you harder, making you growl in frustration.

“Yes…Please.” You cry out frustration and need taking you over.

“IF you insist.” He says softly like talking to a child begging for candy. Slowly withdrawing his hand from you completely. You feel him shifting slightly on top of you. Then you feel him lining himself up to you. You sigh, knowing relief is coming to relieve the throbbing ache between you legs and in your core. Cas giving you no warning as he enters you. He doesn't pause but immediately begins moves slowly inside you, filling you with slow agonizing movements. His hands brushing the strands of hair from your face as he begins to moving with more fluid thrusts. 

He is making love to you. He’s taking his time, cherishing the sensation. You can feel the friction inside of you, but it is not helping resolve your need. Putting your hand on his ass, you try guiding him. Willing him to move faster, he complies, ever so slightly. The increased movement triggers new sensations inside you and you feel pleasure flooding through you. You let yourself surrender to the feeling, to Cas, and your body responds. It slowly starts climbing to that plateau. 

You begin moaning involuntarily, the sound encouraging Cas, but instead of moving faster he starts pushing into you harder. His hips jerking against you, making you moan even louder. Cas's thrust faltering momentarily as Cas grabs your left leg pulling in up over his shoulder. Resuming again, the pace becoming faster and slightly harder. You feel your orgasm rising inside of you unable to keep it inside you cry out, "Love....right there....FUCK YES....HARDER.....OH FUCK!" Cas finds an angle that is not hitting your g-spot, you instantly begin seeing stars. He grabs your other leg and it joins the other on his other shoulders. 

His thrusts building in strength and speed. You come completely undone in a matter of seconds screaming his name. You are quickly becoming a boneless mess. He doesn't slow but is actually speeding up. The sensations he is making you feel, you high he is giving you, making you lose complete control. You are now screaming out for him. His name falling from your lips like a cry for help. He continues pounding into you, making your screams turn your voice horse. You feel another orgasm racking your body, he must feel it as well moving his hand down to your clit rubbing it as roughly as he is pounding into you, his pace unrelenting. Your release slamming into you again this time you feel tears falling from your eyes. You are unsure how much more you can take, but your answer comes when you feel your body reaching a rise for yet another orgasm.Y ou feel that coil in your stomach tightening, this time however you can tell that Cas is getting there too. Moving his hand from your clit and grabs your ankles pulling both of your legs of to the sides of his shoulders holding your legs widespread. He leans up so he can see himself entering you and begins to slam into you. You are screaming out his name at the increased sensation. Moments later you are seeing stars as you both find release together.

Cas gently lowering your legs on either side of him and hovers over you as he kisses you softly. You feel your body melt into the bed, exhaustion, and satisfaction overtaking you. Hold Cas closely to you. Afraid of losing him, losing the connection you have with him. You feel him slowly sliding out of you as he becomes soft. Sighing when he rolls to the side pulling you next to him. The two of you lay there quietly, both just basking in the feeling of what you did. You feel Cas moving slightly and realize he is trying to pull the blankets out for you both. You move and he works them out from under you and pulls them over you both. Getting comfortable, you snuggle into his side, resting your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat you fall into a deep sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

You wake hearing Cas talking quietly to someone from the direction of the living room area. Getting up you quickly grab your clothes, quickly dress, and head out to find some food You hadn't eaten since the pizza you and Cas split last night. Entering into the living room you hear Cas's voice getting Louder. You stop to see what is happening.

“Dean, she’s fine. She needed some space. She…No! She was terribly upset, I thought it would be best if she was…No, Dean I don’t own her…” You hear Cas sigh, his shoulders visibly slumping. You notice he is in only his boxers. 

“Yes, I will bring her back to the bunker, but…” Cas is starting to pace now. “Hello, Steve.” Walking closer to him, he turns looking at you, his eyes locking with yours. 

“She is fine...she just woke up.”

Cas sighing again holding out the phone to you. “Steve wants to talk to you.” Your start shaking, afraid and unsure of what you are going to say. You know after what was said this morning, between you and Steve, and then you just disappearing with Cas, Steve was going to be insane with rage. You are not ready to deal with that right now. Keeping your eyes locked on Cas's shaking your head, panic on your face. He nods. 

“She doesn’t feel up to talking right now.” Hearing Steve’s voice through the phone.

“Give her the phone right now!”

Cas looking at you questioningly, combined with the anger you are hearing in Steve’s voice scaring you. Trembling in fear, feeling a tear fall down your cheek, you drop on to the sofa behind you. Seeing your emotional state, Cas speaks into the phone. “You have upset her. She will talk with you when she is comfortable doing so.” Cas quickly ends the call, tossing the phone onto the armchair next to him, he sits on the sofa next to you. You quickly make your way into his arms. 

“Shhhh…I got you.” Whispering in your ear while running his hand over your hair. You start sobbing. All the worries and fears seeping into his bare chest. Moving closer pulling you onto his lap, letting you cry on him. You are not sure how long you are there, but you feel safe. You want to remain his arms for hours, but your stomach begins growling. Cas either hears or feels it. He moves holding onto you, softly moving you off his lap. “Let’s go feed you and that little one in your belly there.”

The two of you move to the kitchen and Cas starts making you an omelet. You are impressed by his ability to cook. “Cas?” 

“Hmm” 

“Where did you learn to cook like that?”

“Dean…” Cas turns pushing the omelet onto your plate. Bacon is sizzling behind him. “After I turned human, for that brief time…” He pauses considering the memory but pushing it aside. “Well, he thought I should learn some of what he called 'the Essentials'.”

“So...what are the essentials?” You can't help but smile. You remember how Dean took Cas under his proverbial wing to teach him about life, and social behaviors. You had thought Cas's innocence and naivety as enduring but Dean was frequently annoyed by it.

As Cas is starting to butter the toast you move to the stove removing the bacon from the heat. “Cooking, laundry, money, and…” He turns to plate the rest of the food for you. The meets your eyes. “and intercourse.” 

You can’t help blushing, quickly recovering. “Well, Dean is a good teacher.” 

Smiling back at him, you take a bite of your food. Looking at you for a long moment, he smiles sweetly before loading the dishwasher.

Watching him working, you finish eating. You stomach settling as it is getting full with food, wishing your nerves would too. Shortly after breakfast, you settle on the sofa enjoying the quiet of the home. It really is crazy and beautiful this home Cas built just for you. You can’t believe Cas did this all for you. Sitting on the sofa next to you, putting his arm around you, pulling you into him. “We could do this every day...if you were mine.” He says to you softly.

“I know.”

“But you’re still his, aren’t you?”

“Cas…”

“It’s okay. I understand.” You sign looking out the window at the sunrise over the small lake. The golden ripple across the lake is mesmerizing. If your mind wasn't so preoccupied with Steve, you would just here with Cas and enjoy this view forever.

But instead of taking in the view, you turn to look at Cas. “Cas…I need to figure things out...with Steve.”

Cas looks at you, leaning in softly kissing you on the lips. “You already have…at least for now. I’m just glad I was able to enjoy being with you one last time. A chance to get it right.”

“Cas, I’m not saying goodbye, I just need to think,”

“No Y/N, I am saying goodbye,” You head-spinning to meet him looking at Cas in shock. “You are happy with Steve. He loves you. He can protect you and the baby. You have a family with him and his team, a family that can do things for you that I never can.”

“Cas. I don’t want to lose you.” You feel tears falling. 

“You’re not losing me. I will be there for the child, be it Steve's Dean's or mine, I am promising you that. But I cannot be there for you like Steve can. It is time I let him do what he is meant to do, make you happy.” 

“Cas…Don’t I get a say in this?”

“You do…but...I know you will choose him. You have chosen him repeatedly, and I doubt this time will be any different.”

“Cas…” your sadness filling your voice, fresh tears falling down your cheeks.

“Y/N, just let me have this day before I bring you back to him. I promise what we’ve done here will stay here. I just…I need to let myself say goodbye.” Leaning in, kissing you softly, lovingly no longer a need to express desire. His kiss conveying all he needs to, the love he is feeling for you. The knowledge of knowing his feelings fro you warming you to your toes. The two of cuddling on the sofa and enjoying the scenery is the best end to the day you could ever imagine having. After another hour or so Cas’s phone begins ringing again. He ignores it and it goes away. But then the ringing comes again.

“Cas…”

“I already know who it is, and I am not going to answer just to argue with him.” Rolling your eyes, reaching over him, you strain while reaching for and picking up the phone.

“Dean…”

“Try again…” Your heart sinking. “Steve.”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“Why did you walk out on me this morning?”

“If is understand the situation, you left me. I came back, hoping to talk after collecting my thoughts, to apologize. But you were gone. You left with him. You left without telling anyone. What was I supposed to think? Especially after what happened the last time you left with him?” The tone in his voice telling you he is hurting, confused and slightly angry. “Can you please come back to the bunker? We need to talk, I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be back in a bit.” You say softly looking to Cas who just nods, seeing the knowledge on his face. It is just as Cas was expecting it to be. You are going back to him. You end the call and hand the phone back to Cas.

“I am assuming that means you are ready...to go back to him.”

“Cas…It’s not like that. He just…”

Cas shakes his head, holding his hand up stopping you. “Y/N, I know my place.” Leaning forward pulling your hands in his. He lifts the left one to his lips and kisses it softly. “It’s making sure you are happy. Even if it means I have to let you be happy with someone else.”

Cas…” You feel tears fill your eyes. “I’m so sorry. I love him…it’s like when I’m around him...I feel…” you are struggling for the words, Cas supplying them for you.

“He makes you feel whole.” You nod not wanting to see his face. “Y/N it’s okay…you can’t help how you feel.”

“I’m so sorry.” You say to him again. He just pulls you to him hugging you to him letting your breath him in. After a few moments, taking in a deep breath steeling yourself for what is going to come, you nod. “Ok…I’m ready.” You lock eyes with Cas, and he nods.


	29. Chapter 29

A moment later you are back in the bunker library, alone with Cas, or so you think. “Y/N…” you hear Steve’s voice. You pull your face from Cas's chest seeing Steve sitting in a chair reading. Of course, he would be here. He loves reading. He would see this as an escape.

Rising he walks over to you. “Cas...can we…”

“Of course…” He nods to you. “I will find Dean. I am sure he will want to know you are back too.” And with that, he leaves.

You turn to Steve, trying not to look at him, studying his chest instead. Both of you standing there in silence. Both of you knowing, needing to say something, but neither finding the words or the courage. You tip your head, looking up at him his eyes on you.

“I’m sorry…” Both saying at the same time. Then you both begin laughing.

“Can I start?” Steve starts, asking you quietly. “I think it will go better that way, or I hope it will.” Looking at him you nod slowly. “Okay…” taking a deep breath, he continues. “I’m sorry...I yelled at you. I just…” Stopping, he begins considering what he is about to say. “I need to know what this is between us. I can’t continue in this game. I love you...but I’m not going to compete with another man...not anymore. It’s not fair to me...or him...wither of them.” Looking down, he continues. “I just can’t keep getting pulled in, then having you push me away again.”

“Steve…I…”

“No, let me finish.” An edge coming into his voice. “I’m not some high school kid. I don’t know exactly how dating is done these days, but I am fairly sure it still involves some type of commitment between one guy and one gal. Not a gal and two or three other guys!” Steve seems to be gaining his confidence as his voice grows stronger, shoulders pulling back. “If you can’t decide, then maybe you should take time away from all of us until you do.”

“Steve…”

“Don’t say anything! Not until you are ready to...explain...why you think all of this is fair to us. How you hope to fix...." He gestures around the two of you then moving the gesture in, motioning between the two of you. "...because honestly Y/N...I look like a fool at the moment, and I feel like one too.”

You open your mouth, closing it when you find the words failing to come. Looking at him, giving some consideration to the right words, you speak. “What do I need to do to show you that you are the one I want to be with?”

“Stop running off with him, for one.”

“And…”

“After we’re done with this mission...say goodbye to them, for good.”

“What if the baby is Cas's or Dean's?”

“Then he will see the baby, I will make sure of it...but not you.”

Steve…that’s not fair to…”

“To who Y/N? To them? Why do they need to see you, to be in his child’s life?” You have nothing. “And as for fair…YOU had intercourse with both of them while we were exploring our relationship. HOW is that fair to me?” Looking away, you can tell, he is trying to hide the pain he is feeling. “I don’t think...Y/N...I don't believe anything in this is fair. I’m just telling you what I need from you. If this is going to work, I need to trust you...we need a fresh start, the two of us. Do with it what you will.” Before you can respond, Steve turns leaving the room. You sit down unsure of what to do.

The next morning you wake up feeling the other side of the bed empty. You did not sleep well the night before. Steve had slept in another room. Telling you, it is to give you space, but you know he is trying to distance himself from you. Preparing himself, in case, if you didn't choose him. Slowly crawling out of bed, you can see Steve came into the room and got a change of clothes. Hopping into the shower, you clean up quickly, needing to talk to Steve. Needing to tell him that you don't need time to think. You want him to know that you know you want a future with him and only him. You pull out some new undergarments slipping them on, you close the drawer moving further down to find clothes for today.

"Now there's a sight..." You hear a Dean's voice from your door. Dean walks in closing it behind him.

“So...you coming to make me feel even worse than I already do?” retorting as you close the dresser turning to him. You give him a brief look, his eyes dragging over you mostly nude body. Walking over to the bed, sitting down, putting your clothes aside, so you can begin getting dressed.

Dean stopping for a moment before moves over in front of you pulling your face up to look at this. “No, I’m just here to tell you if you need a shoulder, a hug or…” He wags his eyebrow at you, and you start to laugh. “There’s my girl.” He smirks smiling back at you.

He spins around dropping down nest to you on the bed. “You really got yourself into a mess, haven’t you. Being with me doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

You shake your head and giggle. “Dean…”

“I know...I know…” He is smirking, again. “I’m just too much for your delicate self. “You needed to downgrade to Spangly pants.”

You just punch him playfully and he mocks being hurt. “I missed you.” you sigh.

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” Turning to him pulling him into a hug, you breathe him in. His scent filling you with memories Before you can comprehend what he is doing, he is pulling you into his lap. He kisses you deeply then pulling back saying, “But you better go get him before he decides to go get his ass beat by Cas.” You laugh nodding, knowing that Cas may take Steve in the end, but Steve would put up one hell of a fight. You smile at Dean and start to climb off his lap. He leans in giving you one more simple sweet kiss before letting you go. Once you are fully standing Dean slaps you firmly on the ass. You yelp and jump slightly. You shoot him a fuck off, look and he laughs. You finish dressing, before leaving to go find your solider. 

You don’t have to go far. Steve is in the war room with the rest of the Avenger team and Sam. “Y/N,” Sam says seeing you come into the room, Dean stepping into the room behind you. Sam looking quickly from you to Dean and back to you, Dean resting his arm around your shoulders. After a moment, Sam continues. “We may have found the remaining men from the warehouse.” The news immediately getting your attention. Your whole body tensing. Your mind begins filling with anxiety. Dean, sensing your changing in demeanor, wraps his arms around you from behind. You lean back into his embrace, not even thinking about it is looking to Steve and the rest of the team. You are needing comfort. You lean into Dean further closing your eyes feeling enveloped in the comfort of Deans arms and voice. The feeling making the thought of what they did to you fade away. Steve's eyes shooting daggers at you in Deans arms.

“What’d ya got Sammy?” Dean's voice vibrates against your back, the feeling soothing you and you smile. You focus on the feeling of Dean for another moment before you open your eyes, but remain in his arms. You see Steve’s face. His stare making your stomach turn cold. Quickly realizing what he and the rest of the team are probably thinking, and you pull away from Dean. He lets you go easily and casually. You make your way over to Sam. Looking through the pile of papers in front of Sam, seeing what they have gathered. You want to go to Steve, unsure if you should.

“Y/N is not going on this mission.” Steve’s voice cuts above all the others in the room. Sam and Dean both look at you along with the Avenger team. Then dawns on you. Cas is not there.

“Steve!!” you protest. You did not even know you wanted in on the mission until he said you weren't going.

“Y/N, I am not going to put you anywhere near them. You are staying out of this that’s final.” Steve's eyes burning into you.

You are getting angry now. Who is he to tell you what to do? Just fifteen minutes ago, he was telling you that you had to choose between him Dean, or Cas. Now he is trying to dictate your participation in a mission. “I’m going!” Defiance in your posture and tone. You stare stubbornly at Steve, daring him to say something...anything...to counter you. He doesn’t need to say anything. His look alone making you feel like a cowering child, instantly regretting your outburst.

Steve stepping around the table stalking toward you. You try to move but are frozen in place from shock. The entire room watching as he grabs you by the arm and pulling you down the hall. “Oh someone is in trouble…” You hear Clint teasingly announcing to the room. Steve pulling you into your shared room before slamming the door behind him. There doorframe visible moving. “I am done with this!” He grits out spinning you around to face you.

“Oh YOU are?” you say to him standing your ground. “I am not a person you can boss around, we already discussed this.”

“I am trying to protect you, and YOU will listen to me!” He steps closer to you. You step back. Steve’s stance oozing dominance in waves. “I am done with these games. You are mine, and you will not put yourself in danger to spite me!” Striding up to you as you try backing away, the back of your legs hitting the bed stopping you from going anywhere. Steve is now mere inches from you.

“I am my own person Steve. When are you going to get that?”

Steve leans into you his breath caressing your lips. “Never” he whispers and connects his lips with yours. The kiss is harsh, forceful, and immediately has your legs giving out. He wraps his arms around you, keeping you from crumbling. Taking the kiss deeper, claiming you. Moan into his mouth you give into him. Steve hearing you moan for him is all it takes.

He immediately starts undoing your shorts, pushing them and underwear down to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. He starts undoing his own jeans, pushing both of his lower garments to the floor, then quickly climbing onto you. He starts kissing your neck roughly, marking you more than once, "Mine..." he is growling in your ear moving a hand down your outer thigh. You feel his fingers ghosting over the top of your thigh before moving to the inside of your thigh. He slowly brushes your skin with his fingertip moving to the wet center.

“I am going to show you once and for all who you belong to.” Panting into your ear he slows moves his hand over your mound, then quickly inserting a finger into you...slowly thrusting the finger in and out slowly. He kisses you again, less fiercely and more passionately this time. A tenderness returning to his kiss. “You will learn, I do not tolerate defiance.” He whispers as he inserts a second finger his pace increasing. “I am going to fuck you into compliance. Do you understand?”

You nod sensations Steve is creating in your body making it hard for you to do anything besides buck into him, mentally begging him for more. “I didn’t hear you.” He says in a tone you can only imagine him using for his troops. He voice and the authority behind it turning you on even more. Slipping in a third finger, your body spasming around him. Pushing his fingers in you hard a few times, making you moan loudly. “Do you understand?” When he doesn't get a response his ministrations stop. The loss of feeling making you whimper. “Answer me.” He demands. You look into his eyes, his pupils fully blown Instantly knowing you will not get what you want until you answer him.

“Yes, I understand!” you shout out, bucking onto his hand trying to renew the movement. Instead of moving his fingers for you again, he does something different. Pulling away from you, you moan at the loss shifting pressing your legs together trying to give your self friction. You try moving your hand to relive your need but realize Steve is pinning them to the bed above your head. You feel him sitting up on top of you shifting up your body slightly.

“Open your mouth for me.” His eyes meeting yours, the commanding tone leaving no room for thought opening your mouth without thinking. Mentally you are cursing him for making you react without thinking. “I am going to fuck your mouth and claim it for my own, and you will love it.” You feel your center throbbing at his dominance. You’ve never heard him talk like this, it is making your body flood with desire.

Before you even begin processing what he is doing, you feel his cock entering your mouth. Steve pushing it in fast until about halfway in, stopping for a brief moment. Taking in a deep breath he begins slowly moving in the rest of the way. His eyes on you making sure you are okay. You feel a tickle on your nose, it is hard to breathe and you feel like choking. Trying to get air, you slowly start to move your head around him, but he stops you by grabbing your hair and pulling you back so that only the tip is resting inside.

“NO! I am in control here. You WILL learn to follow my instruction.” Taking a slow breath he begins moving in and out of your mouth slowly at first, holding your head in place. Both hands holding a fist full of your hair on each side. The pace is slow and steady, but it quickly picks up and within minutes he is thrusting into your mouth with force. “Fuck baby, your mouth feels so fucking good on my cock. I need to fuck your face more often.” Your eyes are starting to water, but you still take him in, wanting to show him that you want him, both in and out of the bedroom. You feel yourself being even more turned on by his dirty talk.

“Holy Christ, you feel so good, baby. I’m going to use your mouth from now on every chance I get.” You can hear him panting and moaning as he is fucking into your mouth mercilessly. He seems to have lost control of himself. You feel your core throb with ache and you're your hand to try to relieve the pressure. You hand finds your clit and begins to rub furiously, you moan out in pleasure. “FUCK” hearing Steve cry out making you moan again.

Feel your own pleasure reaching its peak, you try to move it down to rub your clit, but your hand is stopped short of its goal. Steve grabbing your hand with his own pins it back over your head with the other one with one hand while his other moves to your clit and begins rubbing you slowly. "Baby, I am taking care of you, you are not allowed to take care of yourself.”

You groan as he begins sending you over the edge. The groaning around his cock earning you another moan from Steve. He begins faltering in his trusts. “Fuck, Y/N, you need to stop that.” He starts to slam into your face, his steady pace starting to falter again as you feel him cumming in your throat. The cum sliding down your throat making you chock again as you feel your own orgasm hit you. He moves into you hard and fast a few more times, before pulling out of your mouth.

“On your hand and knees, NOW.” You look at his returning erection. Your heart racing, staring in awe his recovery time and stamina, quickly getting yourself into position. Once you are in the position you turn to see what Steve is doing behind you. Feeling one of his hands returning to your hair as the other is running up and down your back. You relish in the sensation of his touch. You wiggle for him encouraging him to do something. Quickly smacking you on the ass with his free hand he growls. "Baby, are you trying to tell me what to do?" Asking you sweetly, sending chills down your spine, the tone telling you, you are in trouble. "I don't take orders," his dominant voice returning, smacking you on the ass again for emphasis, "I give them!" Smacking your ass a bit harder. His hand moving between your shoulder blades pushing your upper half onto the bed. Within seconds feeling the tip of him lining up with your entrance, just as suddenly his pushes into you completely.

“Steve, Christ” screaming out at the stretch, as a mixture of pleasure and pain shoot through you.

“That’s it, baby. Let them know who you belong to.” He is panting waiting for you to adjust to him. Before you can even catch your breath he is pulling out slamming into you eliciting another scream from you. “Fuck…You are tighter then the last time...if that is even possible.” Groaning as his free hand is finding your hip holding you in place, pulling out to the tip slamming into you again.

“Oh GOD! STEVE!!!!” you scream again.

“That’s it, baby, you look so fucking hot calling my name while my dick is buried inside you.” He begins setting a slow pace, relishing the feeling of you around him. Hearing his wrecked loud moaning, driving you closer to your own realize while becoming a moaning whimpering mess yourself.

He is moving slow and steady, you are finding yourself needing more. Trying to move against he quickly moves his hands to your hips holding you in place. He starts slamming into you again, your moans loud and incoherent....moving his hand quickly around your waist to your clit. He begins rubbing you in pace with his the movements of his hips. “Christ Steve...you're killing me!” you cry out as the sensation is sending you to the edge. Leaving you hanging there screaming inside for release.

“Not yet doll, I’m not letting you off that easy. You are going to learn.” Pulling his hand away from your clit, placing it on the other side of your hip. With both hands on your hips, he picks up his pace and starts to slam into you. The bed slamming into the wall so hard you are sure it is going to knock the wall down or the bed is going to collapse from under the two of you. You can’t help but scream. “Oh God…Fuck…God Steve…Yes!!”

He seems pleased but doesn’t falter. “That’s it, baby. Let me know how my cock feels in that tight pussy of yours, just remember that is my pussy and NO ONE else’s. Right?” Emphasizing his question with a hard thrust that has you seeing stars.

“YES” you scream knowing that everyone in the bunker has to be hearing the two of you by now for sure.

“Good girl,” he starts to thrust even harder into you. You are beginning to wonder if you are going to survive the intensity of his thrusts. Your hands digging into the sheet, feeling the fabric starting to give.

“Steve I... I need...” you try to string a coherent sentence.

“I know…But only when I am ready are you going to get what you want. You will cum when I allow it.”

“Steve...” you whine and that earn you’re a firm slap on the ass.

“Are you trying to tell me what to do?” You can only moan at the pleasure he is bringing you.

“I…am… the… boss… here…” He accentuates each word with a smack on you as along with a hard thrust shoving you further into the bed. “Understand?”

You nod then remember your words. “Yes”

“Good, cause I’m going to fuck your tight little pussy into oblivion if that’s what it takes for you to remember that,” Steve says his thrust picking up even faster. The pacing ending all rational thought in your mind, reducing you to a blubbering moaning mess.

“God… yes! Steve… fuck me! right there… yes God!” You are screaming in pleasure.

“That’s it baby take my cock just like that. God yes!!” he is starting to move even faster, and you know that he is reaching his end. Trying to buck into him, he grabs your hips harder instead.

Pulling your ass even higher his thrusts hitting a new spot, the new position offers him more access. He is slamming into you hard and fast. You hear the headboard slamming into the wall and cracking. You try warning Steve but all that comes out is screams of pleasure. “STEVE! ...OH GOD…YES…. Christ.”

“That’s it, baby, I love when you scream my name. Fuck yes…"His trusts send you forward and our grip on the sheets finally give, part of the sheet is sliding with you. Reaching a hand up grabbing ahold of the metal bed frame. Hearing a crunching noise, you immediately know what it is; the sound of metal being crushed similar to an aluminum can.

You can't see anything anymore, your body shutting down as the sensations Steve is bringing you body is overwhelming you. Steve’s thrusts becoming, bruising you are hurting, but you are still not to the point of orgasm. All this coming to an end when Steve reaches the bed frame with his other hand. The force he is using on you increasing. Seeing nothing but white. Hearing moans and you think your scream out Steve’s name, but you are not sure. Steve falters and you realize you are both cumming. The white is your body going into shock from release. You feel Steve spill into you while you feeling yourself falling into oblivion. The last thing you feel is Steve collapsing onto you.


	30. Chapter 30

You wake up later not sure if it is night or day, You feel very rested, groggy in fact. Making your way around the bunker, you find everyone is gone. You make your way to the kitchen grabbing a soda and deciding to catch something on TV until everyone returns. You are about halfway through a sci-fi movie when you heard the door to the bunker open. Waiting to see if you hear voices and you don’t. Curious, deciding to try to see who is there. Making your way to the war room, you pause seeing Dean throwing down a bag of gear You clear your throat getting his attention. Turning he sees you and the look on his face telling you something happened.

“Hey Dean,” trying to avoid sounding happy to see him. It is unbearingly quiet, alone in the bunker. You are glad for the company.

“So...you are still alive. After what I heard the other night... I was worried that you…” He looks down at his bag. 

"How long was I out?" 

"Two days...well a day and some hours." he pauses correcting himself.

“Where is everyone else?” You find it odd. Dean being back without Sam or Cas.

“They’re following up on a lead. They’re probably going to be gone for another day or two. I volunteered to check up on you. More like to keep an eye on you, in case it is a trap.” Dean says keeping himself busy. Continuing digging around in his bag, pulling out a bloody and torn shirt tossing it in the trash can nearby.

Seeing the shirt turning your blood cold. “Dean, is someone hurt?” Moving closer to him, trying to see if he is hurt. Sensing your movements he looks up at you, then quickly turning putting his bag in his room. You know he’s trying to get away from you, so you start following him. “Dean…talk to me.”

“Don’t worry! Cas took care of it for the most part.”

“What happened?”

Dean getting to his door turning on you. “Nothing!! Ok…It’s over and we're all fine now.” stalking into his room, you following behind him. 

“Will you please talk to me?”

“Fine! You wanna know what happened?” Dean spins on you, making you take a step back to the door. “Ii was a shit storm when we got there. They were waiting for us.” He runs his hands over his face looking at you. “I’m gonna need a drink if you wanna talk about this.”

Leaving his bag, still packed on the bed and heads for the bar. You following behind him. “If it’s as bad as you say I’m going to need one myself.” 

Dean shoots you a look. “Uh uh, little girl your pregnant...no alcohol for you.”

“Dean...” 

Dean giving you an unamused chuckle. “No, you ain't winning this time princess.”

The two of you make it to the bar. Grabbing two bottles of whiskey, tucking them under one arm, and a few cans of ginger ale tucking them under the other, he picks up a shot glass and taller one. Making his way to the sofa in the room Tony has made into a makeshift living area, he begins setting all the stuff own with your help. 

“Here,” he says handing you a filled glass of ginger ale before filling his own glass with whiskey. “First off your boyfriend lives up to the hype. He pulled my ass out of the fire tonight.”

You lock eyes with him. It is not often Dean admits he needs help and to give the credit to Steve shows a lot of growth on his behalf. “I know…He’s. Well, he’s been through a lot of war. It’s all he knows.” You say softly encouraging Dean to continue.

“We hit one of their main bases, he was right about that too. There were over 20 monsters there. Hydra was experimenting on them. I know they are...were monsters, but shit what was being done to them.” Dean takes another drink. “I saw some fucked up shit in hell, but nothing like that. They were trying to create a mutant hybrid. Some kind of ultimate killing machine.”

“Yeah, I think that is why they wanted me, to get to Steve. They wanted his blood to recreate to the super-soldier gene I think.” You remember the scientist comment. "THen they found out I was pregnant...Dean, I am pretty sure the baby isn't yours" You pause gaging his reaction, before continuing. "They seemed excited about the baby...they wanted to bring to tot erm then test on it."

"Fucking bastaards...."

"Dean did you hear..."

"Yeah..." Dean quickly interrupts you. " I figured as much..."

"Dean...I'm..." He holds a hand up to stop you. He looks deeply into his refilled glass of whiskey instead of meeting your eyes.

“Yeah…and we found the assholes that…” Trailing off, his eyes meeting yours. “They were stupid enough to taunt Steve with what they did. I took out one, but Steve got the other two.” Dean goes silent, swallowing hard. You have a feeling the next part is difficult for Dean to say “Y/N, I know he’s a good guy, but after what he did to those guys...." Dean takes his entire drink down in one shot. "I...I threw up..." His eyes shoot to yours. You feel tears falling from your eyes, for Dean to get sick it has to have been bad. Dean downs another drink then continues. "I don’t ever want him pissed at me.”

“Well, I’m glad they won’t hurt anyone ever again.” your voice straining to come out

“Oh...trust me...I don’t think hell will even recognize what is left of them.” Dean just shakes his head. The two of you let a comfortable silence fall between the two of you, drinking and taking in each other’s company silently. You get lost in the thought of Steve doing what Dean is claiming he did, Dean just trying to figure out what he is going to tell you about the mission. Dean is finishing off one of the bottles of whiskey achieving quite a good buzz, and you are also feeling more relaxed. You being thankful to have the company

“Dean, who got hurt?”

“I did.” Looking at him within seconds you are up, pulling him up by his shirt inspecting him. You see the remnants of a fairly large gouge right below Dean’s ribcage.

“Dean…What happened?”

“I got distracted.”

“This looks like it could’ve been bad.”

“It was…” Dean takes a swig directly from the bottle, now by-passing the glass completely

If it wasn’t for Cas…” Shaking his head, taking a bigger drink of the whiskey. Your mind filling in the blank.

“Dean…what is going on? You never get distracted during a hunt?”

“I…Y/N, do you know they took pictures of you when they were…” his voice drops. “When you were there.”

“No.” you feel the tears filling your eyes and spilling over.

“I found them…they were taken off surveillance cameras.” His eyes falling briefly, before turning up to meet yours. Seeing tears threatening to overflow from his too. “And I’m not the only one who saw them.”

“Who else saw them?” your voice barely a whisper.

“Steve…and Cas.”

“Oh…” is all you can say.

“Steve and I burned them.”

“Thank you.”

Dean reaching for your hands taking them in his. Look up your tears still falling. "Hey....hey...now. It’s OK..." he whispers softly wiping your tears away with his free hand.

“I will never let anything like that ever happen to you again. I’m sure Steve and Cas will both say the same thing too.” You feel his hand pause on your cheek. Lean into his hand and the touch comforting you. Feeling how lucky you are, having so many people caring about your safety, especially Dean, Cas, and Steve.

You see Dean finishing off the second bottle of whiskey. You are feeling completely relaxed now, Dean's presence combining with the lack of tension in the bunkers allowing you to let your inhibitions down, Dean well on his way to drunkenness. The two of you continue talking about old times. Talking about hunts that almost went wrong and the ones that went really well. You eventually begin talking about the relationship you both shared and why it didn’t work out. Much to your surprise. Dean admits that he was giving serious thought to giving up hunting for you, he was going to tell Sam and Cas the day you left.

“Sammy always wanted out.” He admits to you. “I think the only reason he stays in is because of me. If I were to quit…” Dean says more to himself than you. Then as if remembering that he is with you looks intently into your eyes as if he is hoping for a reaction. All you can do is start wide-eyed at him. Hunting was all Dean ever knew, for him to consider quitting because of you.

“Dean…You would never…what would you do?” you can't find the right words.

Turning to you, Dean's eyes looking in you. You can see the love in them, a depth to his emotions you have never seen before. You try telling yourself it is probably because the alcohol is lowering all his guards. For the first time, you are seeing the real Dean, the one he keeps hidden from everyone.

“Y/N…” He slides his hand under your chin tipping your head so your eyes can meet him. Your eyes instantly locking with his, you feel his other hand sliding up beside your face. His thumb caressing your cheek. “I’d go back to hell, for you, for an eternity.” 

“Dean…I.” trying to find the right words. “I never knew.”

“That’s because...I was too scared to tell you.” His face moving closer to you, the alcohol giving him the courage to say things, do things he never could in the past.

“Then why now…?” You ask, thinking you already know the answer.

“I don’t know…I guess...because I see you slipping away...with Steve and Cas. I know that if I don’t say something, I will never have the chance again.”

“Oh…” Your eyes flicking between his eyes and his lips. His lips seeming to be inching closer, ever so slowly.

“It’s now or never.” Dean whispers against your mouth as his lips claim yours, you letting him kiss you. The feeling of his kiss going to your head. You kiss him back, the feeling making you feel as if you are finally home. The memories the two of you filling your mind as you move onto his lap. You feel his hands wrap around your waist pulling you into him. You feel him pushing into you, you grinding down on him deepening the kiss. Moaning into your mouth, his hands move up to your ribs suddenly pushing you away from him. “Y/N, I can’t do this.”

“Why?” You whine, your body yearning for him.

“Because you're dealing with a lot right now, your emotions are most likely all over the place, and I am not taking advantage of you like this.” He can’t even believe what he is saying. “You’ll hate me and yourself in the morning.” He gently sets you on the sofa next to him. 

You are pouting at him. “Dean…I can decide what and who I want to do. And right now, I want you.” You say to him, giving him the look sad tear looking eyes and overly pouty lips. Dipping your head down, looking at him through your lashes. 

He groans seeing your look. “Sweetheart, you aren't playing fair... stop giving me that come fuck me look.” Your expression changing to a seductive one. Watching him as you slowly begin unbuttoning your top. One...button...at...a...time. You can see Dean's eyes following your fingers down your front. His voice getting deeper and you can hear him fighting to restrain himself. “Although...I’m sure the little devil on my shoulder would love to bend you over this couch and give you exactly what you want.”

Getting frustrated you get up off the couch, “I’m going to be…Damn it!” feeling suddenly dizzy you fall back onto the sofa. You try getting up, finding yourself stumbling, instead. Dean seeing your issue, quickly moves to help you, picking you up and carrying you out of the room.

“Dean, I can get to bed myself.” You are pouting wrapping your arms around his neck. You sigh laying your head into his chest.

“Yeah, sweetheart you can hardly walk. And you’re coming to my bed...I don’t think I can make it all the way to yours.” He is trying hs hard to maintain his balance, the alcohol fully in effect, he drank two damn bottles of whiskey trying to drown out the pain of losing you; but did he really? Looking at you in his arms, you head resting against his chest. You were just trying to seduce him a minute ago. You flop your head back catching Dean looking at you, there is no mistaking the want in his eyes. Butterflies filling you as you begin thinking he may have changed his mind.

“Dean…” you try to kissing him, again. He allows you a simple chaste kiss continuing down the hall.

“Don’t worry...no one is gonna be here until later...tomorrow or the day after at the earliest. We’ll be fine.” Nodding giving into the feeling of his chest rumbling against your head, your heart is beginning to race with the belief that he may be giving in to you.

Laying you out on his bed removing your pants and shirt. Putting them in a pile on top of his dresser before getting you a t-shirt from his drawer. You see his back is turned and quickly remove your underwear. shoving them under your pillow to hide the evidence, He is now stripping down to his boxers and climbs into the bed next to you. You quickly take your bra off more for the sake of comfort, still unsure what is happening, then climbing under the covers. Tossing the shirt he just gave you aside, you try seducing him again. Dean sees you tossing the t-shirts and notices your very almost naked form next to him. “Y/N…” He says looking for the t-shirt. “You are making this really hard on me.”

"Making it hard on you or just making you hard?" you purr suggestively in his ear, running your hand over his chest.

His hand grab both sides of your hips pushing you down hard against the bed, hovering over you. He learns in his face so close you yours you can feel his scruff graze your cheek. "Both..." he growls breathy into your ear. 

“Good,” replying in the most seductive voice you can manage. Dean licks his lips, studying you. You move in for a kiss. Your lips meeting his, your tongue slipping across his lips, tasting the liquor on his lips. Giving into you his mouth opening for you, kissing him slowly and deeply, testing him to see how he responds. When you feel him leaning into you, pushing you back to the bed, you groan knowing you are going to get what you want. Moving his hands down your waist and up your thigh. He quickly pulls your left leg up against his thigh, he begins rubbing himself against your center. You moaning into his mouth bucking up into him.

“Shit…” Feeling him trying to pull away, you panic, quickly wrapping your legs around him. Your legs pulling him even further into you, feeling him moaning and attacking your neck. He lips leaving wet sloppy kisses down your neck.

“Dean…” you moan for him, rocking your hips into him. He is biting down on your shoulder, the feeling making you gasp. You can feel his erection growing as it pushes against your core. Needing more of him, you push down the elastic of his boxers, trying to rid the only barrier between you and him.

“Whoa…” Dean freezing, then pulls back looking down to you. “We can’t do that…”

“Dean… I need you.” Your eyes are edged with tears, you stick out your lip a little. The look crushing Dean. The Dena who is trying so hard to restrain himself, but you keep pushing his limits.

“Sweetheart...if this happens, I’m not letting you go back to him or Cas. You’ll be mine.” His eyes looking deeply into yours. The sincerity there telling you he means it.

You look away. 'You love Steve...what are you doing?' one part of your brain screaming at you. Another part, however, is saying something very different. 'You were his once and he left you for Amara...you want him to take him. No one will know!' You look back at him into his eyes and are instantly taken back to the times you spend with him in this very room. Before New York, and Steve, and Cas, and before everything went sideways. 'FUCK ME!' you tell yourself and give ingot the devilish voice in your head. You push your head up capturing Dean's lips with a deep passionate kiss tugging on his boxers again. Hissing as he begins removing the article himself. Dean pulling you against him despite his better judgment knowing you will go back to Steve in the morning. He only wants to let himself enjoy the moment with you. Letting himself have one more night with you before he has to say goodbye forever.

Moving your hand between the two of you rubbing him slowly, torturously kissing him fully. He clamps his eyes shut at the sensation of your hand on him. His self-control slowly slipping, feels himself bucking into your hand, trying to increase the friction. Pull yourself from the kiss you move to pull him on top of you. Looking at you for a moment, considering what is about to happen, but still compiling with you need. 

As he is positioning himself over you, you start placing wet sloppy kisses on his chest, running your fingernails lightly down his back. You hear his breathing increasing as his anticipation rises. Slowly making your way down to his waist, your hands finding his hips. You did into his hips getting a grip on them, he groans even louder. You quickly push him off you rolling the both of you over so that he ins not on his back.

Removing one hand from his hip to his shaft. You slowly begin shimming down his body, keeping your legs on his sides. When you ass is rubbing his knees you lean forward, making sure your eyes are meeting his. Slowly, teasingly you move your mouth over the tip licking the beading pre-cum circling your tongue around the tip a few more times before taking the tip into your mouth. Continuing your tortuously slow movements, punishing him for trying to stop you. You begin moaning and humming around his cock while slowly up and down only taking him in halfway. “Shit...FUCk....when did....” he cries out. Within seconds his hands are entwining into your hair. He isn't trying to take control of you, more likely trying to control himself. You begin moaning softly around him, the idea of him losing control turning you on deeply. “Fuck...Sweetheart...you’re going to be the death of me.”

Keeping the slow pace, feeling your own arousal building, hearing him moaning and losing himself driving you to continue. Slowly you start increasing your speed, setting a steady faster pace driving Dean even closer to the edge. After a few seconds, you increased the pace again. You can tell his is losing his mind. He is now pulling on your hair, exerting more control over your movements, and you begin feeling your own orgasm rising in your core. Moaning you quickly move a hand between your legs rubbing yourself fiercely. You new heightened reactions encouraging him. Gripping your hair harder, he starts pushing into your mouth. Feeling your own arousal rising your core now throbbing, suddenly he stops moving pulling you up to him. His lips capturing yours. His hands pulling you to him, rolling you both over. With him on top of you, looking into your eyes, seeing his eyes are completely lust blown. “Sweetheart...if there is even a remote chance you are going to regret this in the morning...tell me now, because I’m about to fuck you into next week.

“Dean…” you are a moaning quivering mess you just want him inside you that is all you can think.

“You have to say it.” Dean is groaning and panting in your ear. The desperation in his voice making your core throb even more. “If you can’t say it...I will stop right now....but I’m telling you right now baby, I am fighting it really hard right now.”

You move your hands to both sides of his face making him look you in the eyes. “I need you, Dean. I need you to fuck me, make me scream for you.” 

Dean is growling as he slams into you, your words sending him over the edge of control. “Christ…Dean” you scream out at the sudden fullness he is giving you. Setting a brutal pace, he is slamming into you with reckless abandon. He quickly slows himself, regaining some sense of control. Your eyes brimming with tears, both with bliss and emotions. The feeling of release is slowly building. Your eyes meeting Dean's, his eyes locking with yours as he moves inside of you, slowly, languidly.

“Baby…You have no idea...how good you feel...do you?” leaning in kissing you softly, sweetly. The feeling of being with him is vastly different from Steve. He is taking you slowly, not trying to convey ownership or desire, just pure emotion. He is taking his time with you. Letting you feel him, your connection with him. The slow pace of this movement is matching the slow build inside you.

“Dean…” 

“I know baby…I know this is a one-time thing. I get it” Feel your heart clench, that is not what you are thinking. You are wanting to ask him to move faster, hearing him say that, the hurt in his voice, you are torn. Realizing that the way he was being with the slow deliberate movements, the intense looks, he is making lvoe o you, for the first time ever. No one has ever made love to you. The idea of his intentions making you panic. You need him to stop, You want to fuck him not rebuild the connection you had with him. Running your hands from his upper back, down his back to his ass, grabbing on with both hands you take control showing him what you want. He groans as he looks into your eyes reading your expression, he beings to move a little faster and his trust becomes a little harder. The new sensation making you moan.

"God Dean that’s it just like that...” you pant, and you feel your orgasm slowly building. You feel your walls tightening around him, reacting to your arousal.

“Fuck baby...your too tight I can’t…God, you feel so good. He growls latching his teeth onto your shoulder, making you cry out bucking faster into him. Dean grabbing your hips with his hands holding you still. “Baby if you keep doing that, I will be cumming all too quickly. I want to take my time and enjoy you. I want you screaming my name....begging for release. 

He changes his pace, moving slightly faster and forcefully into you. “Dean... God yes…. Fuck…God baby. I forgot how good you make me feel” you cry out trying to focus on not letting go until he says you can. Dean senses your restraint.

“Oh, baby you can let go…You are going to cum more than once for me tonight…You are going to cum all night long.” The promise pushing you closer to the edge. You try to thrust into him again, but he pushed your hips down again. “I am in control here, let me take care of you.”

“Dean…” you whine. He is smirking looking into your pleading hungry eyes before leaning in kissing you fiercely and passionately. He moves his hand from your hip down your thigh then hikes your leg up around his waist his thrust changing with the new position. Soon he is pounding into your g-stop. “OH God Fuck ME!!!” you are screaming, the sensation rocketing your impending orgasm to the point of eruption.

“Baby that’s what I'm trying to do.” He answers thrusting into you with a harder steady forceful pace. You feel yourself reaching teetering on the edge. Dean moves your other leg over his shoulder and sits up to get a better angle it works.

“Dean…oh FUCK…GOD yes…. I’m Cumming…. OH MY God!!!” falling into oblivion your whole-body tingling as he continues fucking into you chasing your orgasm. As you are coming down from the high, he continues to fuck into you. “Dean…I…”

“I know baby, but we aren’t done yet. I told you I’m going to make you cum all night. We’re just getting started.” He groans continuing thrusting into you pushing your legs off his shoulders, holding them in front to him. With both of your ankles in his hands, he starts pounding into you again. You feel your next orgasm rising inside of you quickly.

“Dean....Christ, I think I’m going to....cum again.” You cry out for him "Dean...GOD....fuck.....YES!!!...DEAN!!!!!.

“Good baby....cum for me....tell me how good I am at fucking you...I bet no one has made you feel this good before.” Dean grunts as he starts to pound into you even harder. His own orgasm reaching its tipping point

“Dean…I can’t…I…this is...too much…Fuck...God....you feel so fucking good…” you can’t express let alone even comprehend what you are feeling. It is all too good.

“Shit…God damn...How can you be so tight…Fuck. I can’t stop fucking you…I’m never...going to stop....FUCKING YOU!” he is grunting and slamming into you even harder. His grip on your ankles getting tighter. Feeling yourself gripping him tighter inside of you, you grab the sheets, trying to keep yourself from sliding further up the bed. You are starting to feel the headboard hitting the top of your head with each thrust.

“Dean…GOD… I'm going to…” But you so silent the most intense orgasm in your life is now rushing through your body.

“FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s it baby......wet my cock. Milk my dick with that tight fucking pussy of yours." Dean is panting and growling, he actions turning primal. "Christ…holy shit…God...Fuck baby...If you get any tighter…” he thrusts getting harder and faster into you pushing you over the edge of another orgasm, following behind you. You feel yourself falling into the sweet oblivion. Your body is feeling exhausted. You feel Dean slowing down and think maybe he is going to give you some time to rest. 

Pulling out of you, moving to the side. “Move onto your stomach, ass in the air.” You look at him incredulously, your eyes trailing down to his almost fully erect cock in his hand. He is pumping his cock slowly working it to it's full length again. You begin repositioning yourself, complying with his request. “Good Girl.” Feel him move behind you, his hand reaching in between you folds finding the spot he wants while his other hand reaching your hip pulling your ass higher. “There we go.” He says softly.

“Dean…I” but before you can finish, he is trusting back into you. “Fuck” you cry out, the new position feeling different, hitting a different angle inside you.

“God....your cunt is even tighter from this angel.” He moves slowly at first testing the feeling of you, slowly increases his pace. Placing a hand on the small of you back for balance, his pace increases. You can feel your body reacting to him, the slow-burn building, rising in your stomach.

“Baby...I’m telling you...I’m never going to stop fucking you. You’d better get used to it. You feel too good...I can’t help myself. “His moans getting louder and more gutteral, slowly increasing his pace.

“Dean…I… FUCK… RIGHT THERE…. Dean…. Christ, you feel so fucking good... Fuck me harder…faster…God, I can feel you all the way…” you moan unable to stop yourself from spewing the obscenities.

“That’s it a baby....let me know who good I am fucking you!” his thrusts getting harder. Pushing your hands against his headboard, needing to brace yourself from slamming into is as well as wanting to begin meeting his trusts with your own. You feel your another orgasm rising inside of you. “Jesus…I…Dean, you’re…fuck...God....you’re amazing!” You feel him growling behind you. His hands digging into your hips, his trusts get harder. You are trying your hardest to keep from flying into the headboard. 

“Baby…you feel so fucking good. Christ…I just I…” Pulling his hips back pulling out of you completely before slamming back into you, You scream in pleasure and he begins repeating the motion, liking your reaction. Pulling you into his thrusts. “I…just…can’t…stop.” He accentuates each word with a thrust that sends you further into the headboard.

“DON’T STOP!!!” your voice caught between a plea and a scream as you feel a very intense orgasm building inside of you. “Dean fuck me HARDER…I’m going to CUM…”

“Christ!!!” Dean growls loudly, answering you with harder thrusts the bed is now bouncing with the movements. Your orgasm is rushing at you full force. “I’m close…IM going to Cum inside of you.” He strats grunting you leaving little room for argument.

Feeling his movements becoming erratic, his grunts becoming louder as his thrusts are becoming harder. You know he is about to cum too. “Baby...tell me you’re close. I can’t hold back much longer.

“Yes!! God!!! Yes....Dean I’m soo fucking close. Fuck!!!! Dean cum with me!”

You feel his grip on your waist tighten as your orgasm washes over you, feeling him cumming inside you hard. Your orgasm rushing through you. “Oh Fuck…” Your eyes screw shut, and you see fireworks. “Dean…”

“I’m here baby...I got you.” You feel him still moving in and out of you riding out both of your orgasms. You feel him falling onto you. You collapse onto the bed reaching around behind you, touching him where ever you can reach him. He slowly moves off you, pulling you into him, kissing you softly. “I’m sorry, I think being drunk affected my libido…”

You just look at him and blink. “Dean...if that is you on a bad day…” Your voice trails off, pulling him into a deep kiss.

“You are awesome…It never felt so good before. I…” You can tell he is wanting to say something, but can’t. Instead, he settles for pulling you in for a deep passionate kiss. “I think we need to sleep for a bit. I’ll wake you up for round two in a bit,” he winks at you, your jaw-dropping. He smiles and pulling your head down to his chest.

Falling asleep quickly you snuggle closer ign to Dean. He, however, cannot find sleep despite his exhaustion, laying there for another 30 minutes or so watching you sleep. He is studying you trying to commit to memory the feeling of you in his arms, knowing it will probably be the last time. Eventually surrendering to his dreams of a life with you


	31. Chapter 31

You wake with Dean's arms wrapped around you. Your first thought is panic, realizing you still have clothes on, looking over your shoulder you see he does as well. At least, if someone walks in on the two of you together you have an excuse. You suddenly feel a headache coming on, Your overworked body moaning in protest. The sounds of your moans causing Dean to shift a bit tightening his grip on you. Relaxing and willing your headache to go away, you allow yourself to melt into Dean. “Good morning beautiful,” hearing Dean voice somewhere between a whisper and mumble. You can tell he is still very sleepy. Answering him with a groan he laughs softly. “Little too much last night?”

“How are you even talking?” you ask him. Rolling over to face him. 

“I wasn’t as worn out before we started as you were and I was drunk...so more limber....” his smirk evident in his voice. Pushing his chest playfully, your eyes meeting his, intangible force pulling your lips meeting his. The kiss is sweet, soft, and sensual. Leaning into him, he leans back. Wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you with him. Settling on top of him, his other arm coming around to meet the first.

Within a few moments the reality of what you are doing hits you, making you quickly pull away from him. The sudden movement making you feel dizzy, you struggle to focus. Regaining your senses you see Dean's hurt face.

“Dean, I’m sorry...I’m with Steve.”

“I know…like I said last night…I think everyone knows.” You can't help blushing, Dean is moving back slowly.

“Dean...I’m sorry. If I only knew how you felt before Steve. If you had told me you felt so strongly about me BEFORE I left…”

“I know...I waited too long...I get it.” He lays back on the bed, sighing, unconsciously he lays his arm out for you to join him. Moving away from him and his outstretched arm, you curl up on your side not wanting to move. Dean continues laying next to you looking to the ceiling. This is exactly what he knew was going to happen. The two of you laying there silently for untold minutes. “I’m going to make some breakfast." He announces breaking the silence. "When you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen." Turning over on the bed watching him leave.

'Damn it Y/N! You need to get your shit together before you piss everyone off.' scolding yourself. Lay on Dean's bed another couple of minutes before getting up. You head to your room and pull on leggings and one os Steve's T-shirts. Making your way down the hall to the kitchen in search of the source of the smells that are making your stomach growl. The quietness the bunker is held in making you uncomfortable. Reaching the kitchen, you pause, seeing Dean shirtless and frying bacon. The smell making your stomach growl, the ripples of the muscle in his back awakening a warmth inside you.

“There is a pitcher of orange juice on the counter. You'll want to drink at least two glasses of it. It’ll help give you some energy and get rid of the lightheadedness.” Pouring a large glass of the juice, you drink half before refilling it. You move to sit at the table in the kitchen hearing the crackling of eggs .

“Dean, I didn’t mean to…I know I pushed myself on you.”

“I'm a big boy, I could’ve stopped you.”

“You tried…” he doesn’t say anything, continuing cooking. The sound of toast popping up in the toaster drawing your attention away from his back. Getting up to butter the toast and put in more. “I just…” shaking your head, changing your mind if you tell him what you were intending it will only make the situation worse. After giving it a few moments, deciding he has the right to know, you continue. “I think...I’m still in love with you.”

Dean stops moving his head dropping down. He sighs deeply before resuming cooking. “It doesn’t matter now...Does it!”

“It might.” You say trying to get him to listen to you. Turning on you two plates in his hands, he walks over for you. 

“Toast” his voice flat. You can tell he is hiding behind his wall, putting the slices on the plates, you follow him to the table.

“Dean, I thought I knew what I wanted...when Steve and I started...dancing around a relationship with each other. But then I came back here, seeing you. All the feelings I thought were gone came rushing back. I tried denying them but…” You pause and taking a bite of eggs. Chewing for a moment. 

“But you decide to fucking Cas was a better idea instead!” Flinching at his tone. 

“Dean it wasn’t like that. He kissed me…back when I left for New York. He brought me there and then told me how he felt and kissed me.”

“So...that was what... 3 years ago?”

“And when I saw him again…we just connected. He wasn’t scared of showing me how he felt, and I had...I have feelings for him.”

“So let me get this straight.”Dropping his fork, hitting his plate loudly. The loud clang hurting your already throbbing head. In hindsight, this isn’t the best time for choosing to have this discussion. “You have feelings for Steve, Cas and me.” He is now glaring at you waiting for you to answer, you swallow hard nodding. “And so you think....what? You can just play with all of us, until you decide who you want?”

Saying it like that, making you cringe. “Dean, I didn’t mean to…I am so confused...about everything.”

“Ok…Well, ya know what I do when I’m confused?” Looking at him, you sit silently waiting. “I…I don’t know…but what I do know is that I don’t go fucking with people’s emotions. And now your pregnant…and you don’t even know who the father is…” Looking down pushing your food on your plate around with your fork, knowing he is hurt, knowing he’s saying these things because he's hurting. You also know he is telling you the truth.

“Dean, I just need to get my mind straight. I need some time alone I think.”

“Oh...is that what you need?” Shooting an angry look at you. “Why? So you can stop fucking everyone?” HIs going wide, freezing, knowing he has gone too far. You feel the tears falling, pushing away from the table, needing to leave right now. “Y/N!” Dean gets up following you and calling after you. You begin running away from him. Running into your room, locking the door, starting to pack your things. Knowing where you are going. You grab the keys for the rental car and storm down the hall to the garage. 

“Y/N wait…” You hear Dean calling after you, but you keep walking faster now. "Tell the guys I’ll be back in a few days." With that, you are gone.

Taking you only 30 minutes to make your way to the small cottage Cas made for you. Pulling up, you silently thanking him for giving you a key. You enter immediately going to the bedroom, hoping to try to sleep off the hangover.

When you wake up the smell of food is in the air. It smells good. Confusion as to what is going on, you get up, walking into the main room seeing Cas cooking what looks like a stir fry. “Cas?”

“Hello…I know Dean said you wanted some space, but I thought I would make sure you are eating. I am making you some food. I will leave when it’s done.” 

“Cas you don’t have to leave...stay…eat.”

“I don’t need to eat.”

“Cas, can you please stay for a little bit?”

Looking up seeing you and the look in your eyes has him agreeing, nodding simply. Sitting at the bar, you smile while watching him moving around the kitchen. Deciding you need some music and remembering seeing a docking pad on the end table next to the sofa you pull out your phone and open up your playlist dropping your phone into the cradle. The sound music is filling the room making you feel a lot calmer.

Cas making up two plates, putting them on the small dining room table. You notice a lit candle there, wondering if this was his plan the entire time. He helps you into your chair before sitting across from you. You take a bite of your food, it is delicious. “I’ll never get used to how good you can cook.”

“Y/N…I know about you and Dean.” Trying to avoid the topic yo keep eating slowly, pretending you don’t hear him. You are quickly becoming afraid of who else knew. Deciding the best way to find out is to talk about it

“Cas…”

“It’s ok.” He says interrupting you. “I figured it would happen eventually. Dean is persistent and you are very confused about your feelings. It makes sense you would explore all your options. You need to make the correct choice.”

You can’t help staring at him, he is so calm about the situation. “I…I am so completely confused. I care so much about you and Dean... but Dean had such a special place before, and when I came back. He was so hurt when he saw me with Steve. I just…” You decide to be brutally honest. "I love Steve. But last night with Dean..."

“It reminded you of the old feelings.”

“Yes”

“I understand.” Looking down his eyes move to your food. “Eat.” YResiming eating in silence, letting him watch you. After you finish, the two of you move to the sofa. You curl up trying to get more comfortable.

“Cas… do you think the baby will be okay? I mean I...this baby is going to be sought after more than Steve...especially is it is a nephilim.” 

Cas looking at you closely, taking in a shallow breath moves his hand toward you, putting his hand on your stomach, pausing he looks up to you. “Is this okay?”

You are stunned by his question, “Cas...we’ve made love three times now. I think you can touch my stomach.”

Smiling at you, putting his hand on your stomach for a brief moment before pulling it away. “He’s fine.” Smiling, glad that the baby is ok, but you sense he is holding something back, and since he is not telling you...

“Cas…” You wait, seeing if he is going to tell you what’s going on. When he continues simply looking off to the lake outside the window. You decide to make him tell you. “Cas! What’s wrong?”

He looks at you. “Nothing…I just…” Putting his hands on yours giving them a slight squeeze. “Do you want to know who’s the father of your baby?”

You freeze, mind is racing. Will it make a difference in who you chose to be with? Taking a breath. “Yes, I would love to know.”

Looking into your eyes, taking in a breath he says “It’s Steve’s” You feel tears filling your eyes. 

“Cas…I’m soo.”

“It’s okay. It’s for the best. If he was my child, he would have the angels after him as well as Hydra, and demons.” You can tell he is disappointed. You pull him close to you, holding him. 

“Cas...you would have made a great father.” Cas tightening his grip on you pulling you to him. you continue talking, “I still would love it, if you would watch out for him....and...for me.”

“Of course.” He whispers against your ear, hearing the hurt in his voice. He obviously wanted this baby to be his, to have a family with you.

Pulling away from him, “Cas, I hate to ask but…where is Steve?”

“He’s still on the mission.” Cas straightening up pulling further away from you. “They found another base two towns over.” Cas looking away begins moving to get up. 

“Cas… Do you think?”

“Yes...right away.” You sigh he is just too perfect. You realized at that moment you need to talk to Steve. You need to tell him the news. He deserves to know, but you are not ready to share your special place with him. It is a part of you that you only want to share with Cas. You are wanting to keep between the two of you.

“Cas. I’m going to go back to the bunker. I just want to keep this place ours for now.” Cas smiles sweetly, your desire giving him a small piece of hope.

“Of course. I will tell him to find you there.” And with that, he leaves. 

Leaving your bags at the cottage, promising yourself you are going to come back as soon as you talk to Steve. Telling him you are needing some space. You are hoping he lets you go. After telling him you are caring is his baby, he may never let you leave his side.


	32. Chapter 32

Pulling into the bunker’s garage, sitting for a few moments, collecting your thoughts. This is going to be a big step for you and Steve. You knew the entire team will be excited for you and Steve, most of them already knew anyway. You know that Steve will give you the life with the baby you always wanted, you are ready to commit to him. You want to commit to him, but until you can honestly say you feel nothing for Dean or Cas, or at least that you are no longer drawn to them, can you let yourself truly be with him.

After taking a few more minutes to walk into the bunker you see Dean sitting at the war room table. Walking down the stairs you keep watching him waiting for him to see you. About halfway down the stairs, he looks up seeing you. Your eyes meeting his for a second, seeing the pain in his eyes you feel your heart sink.

“Cas was here, he told me the big news. Congratulations. You and Steve will be really happy.” His voice is slurred. He is drunk again.

“When did you start drinking?” 

“Right after you ran out on me.” Taking another swig of the bottle, pulling it out from under the table.

“Dean…I just need time. You are right I need to get my head straight.”

“Yeah…I bet it’s straight now, isn’t it? You have your perfect family with Captain Perfect.”

“That is not fair.”

Dean scoffs. “Oh, you want fair?” Standing abruptly, spinning to face you. “You know what I think would have been fair.” Taking another drink of the bottle before continuing. “Fair would have been my mother not dying when I was barely four. Fair would have been Sam being able to finish college, fair, would have been me never having to know the hunting life.” Stepping closer to you. “Fair would have been you never leaving me to begin with.” Your eyes dropping, the reminder of how much loss he suffered in his life and here you are the latest reminder. 

“Dean…I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” He gowls walking off past you.

Dropping into one of the armchairs, you wait for Steve, an hour later you decide to go try laying down for a while. Mentally you are exhausted, you need to try to play out in your head what you are going to say to Steve. “Oh Steve, I found out the baby I’m carrying is yours. And I’m going to go hideaway for a week until I can get my head straight and decide who I want to be with, See you later.” Is just not going to cut it. You keep trying different ideas, but every idea ends the same way. Steve getting pissed at you, then begging you to stay, and finally giving in. None of that getting anywhere with your feelings. You’re not sure how long you are laying there when you hear someone clearing their throat at the door. Looking, seeing Steve standing in the doorway, his face smeared with black ash. A loving smirk on his face. “Castiel tells me you have something you wanted to talk about.”

“Why are you so happy?” you ask hoping Cas didn’t already tell him. 

“We just took down a top-level base today.” His smile growing wider. “and we have intel of three more.”

“That’s great.” You jump off the bed, running to him. You jump into his arms wrapping your arms and your legs around him. Pulling you closer up against him, walking you into the room, kicking the door behind him. Kissing him softly as you both fall on to the bed, you pull away from him ending the kiss. Not wanting to let things progress even though you can tell Steve wants them to.

“I need to talk to you,”

“Ok…” Steve whispers against your neck continuing kissing you down to your shoulder.

“Steve…” you say pushing him back gently but firmly, sighing then relenting. You move away from him sitting up and he does the same.

“I found out who’s baby I’m carrying.”

His eye dropping down to your stomach then slowly move to look up at you. “You know, but how?”

“Cas…I’m sure it has something to do with the presence of grace and power. Angels can sense that.”

“Oh…” his eyes dropping to the floor, the disappointment in his voice giving away the thoughts he is having. Reaching out to him taking his hands in your, pulling them to you. 

“Steve…You’re going to be a father.” Looking up at you, shock briefly slides across his face before it is replaced by joy.

“Really?” You can't help but smile at the sheer joy and excitement in his voice.

“Yes…you are.”

He pulls you in for another crushing hug, pulling you against him than just a quickly lets you go. “Oh…did I hurt you?” immediately looking at you and then down at your stomach. You feel your heart melting with how much care and affection he is showing you. It is at this moment that your mind tells you where you belong.

“No, I’m fine…” Steve needing to hear no more capturing your lips in a passionate but sweet moment. The kiss lasting for a few brief moments before he pulls away. Looking into your eyes, you can feel the love flowing off him.

“We have to celebrate.” Steve smiles to you. "We have already started planning one...but now..." Putting his hand on your stomach, his lips brushing yours with a brief kiss.

“Steve, everyone already knows the baby is yours.”

“But Tony is still throwing a party, especially now that the Hydra cell is eliminated.”

“Ok…” 'So much for getting some alone time.' you think to yourself. Steve reaching out, grabbing your hand in his, pulling you from the room. He has bigger plans in mind for tonight, hoping it doesn’t blow up in his face. You spend the remainder of the day with Nat and Clint, going over catering and attire. For some reason, Steve was insisting tonight should be a formal event. Meaning more shopping again. After the catering is settled on, you leave Clint to meet and aid them with setting up. The rest the boys are rearranging the war room to make it a small area for the food and entertainment to be set up.

Seeing everything is under control, you and Nat leave to do some more shopping. The two of you drive in comfortable silence to the only formal shop in town. You are thankful for the opportunity to get some time to clear your head and give your situation some serious consideration. Neither you nor Nat says anything to each other until you reached the shop when Nat breaks the silence. “Y/N, do you love Steve? I mean genuinely love him?”

“I think so…I’m really confused. I mean I know I love him I have for over a year now, but these feelings I have for Cas and Dean, I thought I was past them but now being back here again, they just flooded back in.” Nat nods. 

"Y/N...you need to figure it out and fast."

"I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am carrying his child after all..." You respond coyly.

" Y/N...you know who the father is?"

You can't help the grin spreading across your face. "I do."

"And...." Natasha looks at you for a moment before continuing. "the baby...it's Steve's right? Y/N...please tell me its's Steve's." Her gaze turning stern. Your eyes meeting hers, then you nod. "Good...if it wasn't it would crush him. He wouldn't admit it....but I know him and it would kill him inside." Natasha quickly changes from a threatening tone to a happy go lucky tone and you feel mental whiplash at it all.

"Nat...Steve and I already discussed this. I love Steve, he loves me, and we are planning a future together. Steve knows the baby is his. I just need to find a way to say goodbye to my past...to Dean and Cas."

"But...do you really love him?" She asks you, her voice softening. "More so now than before...oddly...it took me seeing Dean again to realize how much I really do love Steve." Nat seems to accept this, pulling you in for a brief hug. After a moment you take a deep breath before moving away from Natasha. Both of you get out of the car to go try on dresses. 

After trying on what feels like a hundred dresses, you find yourself settling on a campaign sequin maxi dress. It has a sequined top with the flowing chiffon floor-length is both elegant and comfortable. It is perfect. Natalie choosing a completely different direction. Picking a full sequin blood-red dress with a very deep "v" neck that almost goes to her belly button. “Nat, Bruce is going to have a heart attack when he sees you in that.”

“That’s the idea!” She smiles giving you a devilish look before walking over to the jewelry display case, looking for accessories to match. “And besides, I think that you are going to steal the show anyway. You have at least three guys drooling over you already...and in that dress,” She smiles motioning to the dress draped over your arm. “I think I’ll even have a hard time keeping Bruce’s attention.” She giggles softly turning back to the jewelry counter. You hand over your dress to the salesperson to do curiosity steam cleaning before bagging it for you. While the attendant is cleaning your dress you decide to see what they have for bracelets, since you have to wait anyway.

After the two of you finish at the jewelry counter Natasha spots a clothing rack in the back corner of the room and drags you over. "I think tonight needs a little something special." She calls out over her shoulder. When you see what is on the rack you blush. Natasha giggling at you, "Ok...you don't get to play modest anymore...If everyone can HEAR your two...then... I think we've earned the right to talk about it with the blushing." she teases while poking you playfully.

"Fine..." You find begin skimming the racks and find a black lace panty and bra set. You pull your size off the rack and bring it to the counter, quickly paying for everything before Nat can add any more. To your disappointment, she walks up behind you with a matching garter and stocking set for what you picked out plus adding an addition corset. The new garment is white with a very fluffy white trim on the top and bottom. it also has a matching garter and stocking set. Shooting Nat a 'what the hell?' look she just smiles back at you innocently.

"Steve likes stockings...he told me on the last mission. And he also told me that he always has had a thing for ladies in corsets." motioning to the additional outfit she brought to the counter. Nodding, you know not to argue, paying for the items.

Pulling you down the street to a salon, another surprise for you, Nat insisting you must look best. the two of you get a full mani-pedi, before settling in getting your hair done. While the ladies are working on your hair, you decide to ask Natasha about the plans that Steve has for tonight. You are getting a distinct impression that there is a lot more going on then what you have been told, but she beats you to the questioning.

“So...at this moment...if you were not pregnant or if the father wasn't Steve, would you still choose him?” looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

“Nat…” You want to give her your best answer. “If I were to have to choose now, I would choose Steve, I do love him. I can’t imagine my life without him. WE ARE having a baby together, and life with him would be more stable. I would have chosen him before all this, and I know even if this baby was Deans or Cas's...I'd still chose Steve. We already discussed that possibility and decided together we would get through it as a couple."

“Wait, what?” Nat turns, facing you eye wide, “Steve would be with you? Even if the baby was an angel? Isn't that unholy?” The stylist glaring at Natasha in the mirror before grabbing her head and repositioning it before continuing her work. 

“Yes. And Yes, they are called Nephilim, and it would have been a rough life. We would have been even more hunted, but Steve was ready for that. But fortunately, Steve and I can be a true family.” You saw with a big smile reforming on Nat's face. Some good news for your team is much needed after everything that has been happening with the invasion and the whole Ultron fiasco, where Tony created a murder bot.

“That's beautiful…” Nat is in tears with happiness. Nat calms as her stylist firmly moves Nat's head to face the mirror. You laugh to yourself. Nat huffs while remaining still.

You both finishing your styles with a loose curl hanging over each cheek, the rest of your hair held in back in a messy bu, held with a jeweled hairpin Natalia purchased at the dress shop. Now that you were both ready for the party, you head back to the bunker just in time to see the catering truck pulling in. When the two of you get inside, the room is set up, but everyone seems to be missing. Making your way to the bedroom to change, you are expecting to find Steve there. What you find instead, is a small box sitting on the dresser though with a small note laying on it.

TAMMY,  


I saw this and thought of you.  


Love you,  


Steve

P.S 

I’m helping Thor figure out suit clothes. Wish me luck.

Smiling at the note you feel a new flood of love, the little things like this gesture are what made you love him. He always has you on his mind, He always does little thoughtful things for you. Little notes. Flowers for no reason, or just simply being a gentleman, No one has ever treated you this well. You open the box and almost drop it. There is a large pendant. It is on a rose gold chain and contains a clear crystal heart with another very light pink crystal heart inside with a third red crystal heart inside that. You immediately think of your new family, the little one that is just now starting. You feel your eyes tear up and are glad that you have yet to apply your make-up. “Damn it, Steve.” You curse trying in vain to hold back the tears threating to pour from your eyes. Your decision so much easier, and you are even more confident in it now.

You spend the next twenty-five minutes getting ready. When you are done you peek your head out to see if anyone is in the hall. You hear music and talking from the war room. Thinking the party must have started, you head down the hall seeing you are the last person to arrive. Everything is looking beautiful, there is a campaign fountain, lights hanging from the ceiling looking like raindrops and the music is soft jazz mixed with big band music, definitely Steve’s choice. You are about to step into the room to begin mingling when you feel an arm wrap around your side, turning you see Steve next to you in a black suit. You immediately smile, accepting the brief kiss he offers you. As he pulls away, he leans into your ear. “You look absolutes stunning, can’t wait to take that off of you.” 

“Well, soldier, only if you are prepared for what’s underneath.” You wink at him and walk away playing hard to get. 

You take the two steps into the room seeing Thor striding towards you. Lady Y/N, the beauty you behold would make Freya herself jealous, can I steal you away for a dance?”

“Yes, I would love to.” Let him pull you to the small dance floor. It is only when you reach the floor that you realize that Pepper is there as well as Laura, making you wonder who else made the trip. “Thor, what’s the occasion?”

Thor looking at you confused. “We had a major victory today? This calls for revels.”

“Yes, I know...but Pepper is here and Laura,” You tip your head to the two couples who dancing in the corner of the room. “Clint’s wife never comes to Tony’s parties. Especially on such short notice.”

“I am unsure of what I should say,” Thor says. A comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you finish out the song. He is about to say more before he is interrupted by a man placing his hand on your shoulder. You assume it is Steve, but turning out it is Dean. 

Your breath catches as you take him in, the suit making him look like the cover of a GQ magazine. You’ve seen him in suits before, but those suits were ill-fitting. The one he has on now appears to be tailored and makes him look like a walking model. “May I?” He asks Thor looking to you as you nod. he bows lightly kissing you hand before stepping away allowing Dean to sweep you into his arms.

Putting a hand on his shoulder, he wraps your other hand in his pulling it close to his chest. “You know that this is not a celebration party, right?” You look into Deans eyes, there’s something there but you’re not sure what.

“No...I didn’t know that.”

“I overheard Steve telling Tony something about an announcement.” Moving his hand up to guide your head to his chest and you allow him resting it against him. You know you won’t get many more moments like this and you want to take full advantage of the ones you do have. "Is there something I should know about?"

“Dean, can we just enjoy each others company for the moment.”

“Of course sweetheart.” The two of you finish out the song and most of the next before you see Dean looking over your shoulder. “I think someone else wants some time with you before Steve takes you away.

You turn seeing Cas standing at the edge of the dance floor. His eyes locking with yours. You walk to him quickly, the pull between to the two of you still extraordinarily strong. Wrapping you in his arms, he pulls you tightly too him. “You look more beautiful than I have ever seen you.”

“Thank you, Cas. You look sexy as ever.” You whisper back teasingly. Wrapping your arms around his neck, leaning your head onto his chest. His hand immediately finds a place one on the small of your back the other resting between your shoulder blades.

“I don’t think we'll have much time here, Steve has been eyeing you all night,” Cas whispers resting his head on the top of your head.

“I know…I think that the only reason he hasn’t cut in yet is that it would appear to be rude.” You giggle softly at Steve's moral restraint. You know it must be killing him to see you dancing with different men, especially Dean and Cas.

Surprisingly, you and Cas do three complete songs, without anyone interrupting the two of you. Deciding you are needing a drink, you walk over the fountain for a glass of Champaign. “Baby, you aren’t allowed to have that.” You see Steve’s hand reach around you to take the drink out of your hand. “We have non-alcoholic stuff behind the bar just for you.” He guides you to the bar with his and on the small of your back. 

He signals the bartender, who immediately knows what to do. “And you are mine...for the rest of the night.” He whispers in your ear. “...and I don’t share.” The commanding tone in his voice sending pleasant shivers through your body. His hand moving from the small of your back finding the side of your waist. He quickly spins you and kisses you deeply and passionately. The kiss ending just as quickly as your drink arrives. You take a sip. It’s not great but is not bad either. It stills your thirst and that’s enough.

You place your glass back on the bar and begin making your way back into the crowd. Steve following right behind you. Seeing Sam over by the buffet talking to Thor, you start to make your way over to them. Steve stops you, pulling you into him your back flush against his chest. “I said your mine for the rest of the night. That means you’re not leaving my side.” you can feel his breath against your neck. When he stops speaking you feel his lips moving up your neck before nibbling softly on your ear and quickly driving his point home. The two of you walk over to Thor and Sam. They seem to be discussing the theory of multidimensional multiverse and it quickly bores you.

“Steve...can we dance.” You turn looking at him and he smiles. 

“Of course. Anything for my best girl.” Taking your hand in his, he leads you to the dance floor. You see Nat and Bruce, as well as Tony and Pepper, were already there. Nat looking over to you and Steve smiling. You smile back as Steve pulls you into him. You and Steve ance a few songs, you lose track of how many songs have played, feeling lost in the comfort and loving embrace of his arms around, you protecting you from the world around you. The sound of someone tapping on the microphone breaking you from the dreamlike trance. You and Steve turning, seeing Tony on the stage as he begins to speak. “Well everyone, as most of you know. I am always looking for a reason to throw a party," there is soft laughter that spread in the room, Tony smiles at the group of friends, family, gathered watching him. "but this night is special for another reason.” Tony turns looking at you and Steve smiling broadly. You look to Steve, who gives your hand a squeeze then moving away from you walking over to the stage, stepping up on the small stage. You are confused for a moment, but then you feel two hands on your shoulders and turn to see a giddy Natasha and a Smiling Bruce next to you. “I’m SOOO jealous right now.” She says to you quietly confusing you even more. Turning away looking back at Steve trying to figure out what he is doing.

“Well...Wow! There’s a lot of people here.” Steve shifts nervously. “Only once in your life, I genuinely believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find strength in knowing you have a devoted friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. I believe I found that person.” 

He gestures to you and you feel butterflies filling your heart. A tear slips out of the corner of your eye. “Y/N, please come up here with me.” You look around, for a second you are unsure what to do but Nat starts nudging you lightly. Turning to her she nods smiling, Bruce standing right next to her holding her around the waist. You slowly make your way to the stage. 

When you get to the stage Steve is there holding a hand out to you. You take it and make your way up to join him on stage. You quickly scan the crowd, seeing Dean scowling, a drink in his hand. Cas is on the opposite side of the room from him looking as if he is about to try an escape. You make a mental note to talk to them later. Steve pulling you from your thoughts putting a hand on your shoulder turning you to face him. You look at him and he takes both of your hands in his. “Being deeply loved by you has given me a strength I’ve never known. My loving you so deeply has given me the courage to do things I would normally never do.”

“Like actually make a move on this lovely lady?” Tony comments not so quietly and everyone laughs lightly. 

Steve blushes. Looks to you and you can’t help but chuckle. “He does have you there, Cap.” a giggle escaping your lips.

Steve sighs shaking his head. “I have this whole speech planned” another soft laugh erupting from the group of onlookers. 

“Ok, Steve...I’m sorry what do you want to say?”

Steve sighs. “There is always some madness in love, especially when you have friends like ours.” He looks pointedly at Tony who puts up his hands and backs off a bit. “But there is also always some reason in madness. Sometimes the best things come from unplanned or unexpected events.” Steve smiles putting his hand on your stomach briefly. Then clears his throat. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. Y/N you loved me because of and despite who I am. You accepted the way I go crazy protective over you, a man who would die to protect you. But you also fell for a man who you would have to share with the world. A man with two faces. One that the world knows, Captain America, a man who is sure of himself. A man who seems in continuous control, and a beacon for America. But you also accepted the other man that he is attached to the icon, Steve Rogers. A man who is an insecure, scared man who felt emotional vulnerability would destroy him, A little punk from Brooklyn who couldn’t get a girl if his life depended on it.” Another quiet wave of a giggle from the crowd. You can feel the tears flowing, the vulnerability he is showing in front of all these people affecting you deeply.

“You are my life, you saved me from myself, and I will forever love you for that.” And with that Steve drops to one knee pulling a small box from his pocket. “Y/N, you have saved me in every way imaginable, I couldn’t imagine living another moment without being able to call you mine. Will you Marry me?” 

You go into shock. 'Is this really happening?' You feel a full-on flood pouring from your eyes. “Yes,” you say it so softly that Steve is the only one to hear it. He moves to put the ring on your finger, and it is only then that everyone knows your answer. Steve has you in his arms and is holding you tighter than he ever has before. The next few moments are nothing but a blur of congratulations and well wishes. Several people looking at the ring on your finger, Steve explaining that the ring was his mothers. It is quite beautiful. It has an old European princess cut diamond set into the center. The sides directly next to the center stone are each accented with, princess cut diamonds at the sides of the center stone. Shortly after the last well-wisher moves back to mingle with party Tony gets back on the mic. 

“Well, I think we deserve a little dance form the newly engaged." Steve nods and pulls you out to the floor. The entire dance floor empties leaving the two of you alone.

“Steve, how long were you planning this?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“It’s been in the back of my mind for about 6 months. I knew I loved you and Natasha told me you were head over heels for me. It just didn’t go as I had planned. I was hoping that we would have more time, but well given the circumstance...I decided to move the timeline up a bit.”

“Steve, in our life, what does?” Putting a hand on his shoulder, he places yours under his over pulling them to his chest. Sighing deeply, laying your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, allowing yourself to get lost in him. The song playing quickly prematurely melting into At Last by Etta James.

“I don’t want to presume, but I thought maybe this could be our song for our wedding. It was my mother’s favorite and…it is a perfect representation of how I feel about you.”

“I love it, Steve.” looking into his eyes. “And I love you.”

“I love you too baby.”


	33. Chapter 33

As you and Steve finish your dance, you both go to mingle with the others a little bit more. Steve getting caught up in some animated discussion with Thor, Clint, and Tony. Watching from a distance, admiring the man who will be your husband one day, the father of your child.

“So...I guess this means your leaving soon.” The voice startling you, but you instantly recognize it.

“I’m sure Steve wants to get home.” You say to him without looking.

“Yeah, I bet.” Disappointment in his voice is strong.

“Dean, I don’t want to do this right now.” Turning fully onto him. “It’s my engagement party.”

“Yeah an engagement party, but who did you spend the night with last night? Oh, wait…ME?”

“Dean...stop it.”

“No...Y/N....do you really want to marry this guy?” 

“Dean, if insist on having this conversation…” You grip Deans arm pulling him down the hall to the first available room you can find, which happens to be Dean’s room.

“If you wanted to take me to bed you know you just had to ask…”

“Dean…what happen last night. It was wrong…I was wrong.”

“Don’t give me that...it was a mistake...crap. I tried to stop you several times and you kept pushing me.”

“Dean…I...that’s not what I mean. My emotions took over. I wasn’t thinking rationally.” pleading taking over trying to reason with him. “I let my feelings for you get away from me, and I…”

“So you do have feelings for me,” Dean stepping closer to you, taking advantage of your shock, moving in for a kiss. For a few seconds, you are trying to register what is happening, when you register what is happening you shove him hard. Dean falls back unprepared for this. Falling away from you, his back hitting the door, slamming it shut with his weight. The state of his drunkenness showing in his unsteadiness and overly confident behavior.

“DEAN JUST STOP!” 

“Why...that’s not what you said last night…last night you were begging for me.” Dean begins moving toward you again, a predatory look on his face. The look triggering something inside you. You feel yourself cowering, backing into his bed, instinctively grabbing the first thing you find to try to shield yourself, which was a pillow. 

“Dean…please don’t” you close your eyes hoping wishing for someone to come in. You feel Dean grabbing the pillow away from you. Closing your eyes, bracing for whatever he is about to do. Suddenly, you hear Dean cry out. “Son of a Bitch”...then hear a loud crash. You stay there for another moment eyes closed. After a few seconds, you hear another voice.

“Y/N…are you okay?” Your eyes open at the sound of his voice.

“Cas…” running to him, tears falling, seeing Dean knocked out. “I don’t know what got into him…he just.”

“What did he mean about last night?” you hear Cas asking you kneeling on the floor in front of you.

“Cas, I don’t want to talk about it.” You move to leave the room.

“You were with him weren’t you, that’s why he was being so despondent today.” You say nothing.

“Is that what we were a mistake?”

“No Cas…never.” 

“Then why am I different?”

“I loved you, I can’t explain it, but I feel a connection to you. Something drawing me in and holds me. I can’t explain it.”

Moving in closer to you, putting his hands on your hips. Cas starts reassuring you, “I know I feel the same way about you. I try to stay away, to let you live the life I made for you in New York. That is the reason I sent you away, so you could have a safe life away from all this.” Pulling you into him, kissing you softly. “But you came here, after all that time you came back, and I couldn’t fight it anymore.”

“Cas…I wanted to be with you, but I met Steve, and he…I just fell fast and hard. He just took over my thoughts, my dreams, He is everything I want and even thing I didn’t even know I wanted. I love him, Cas, and I’m going to marry him. We are going to raise our baby, together. But I don’t want to lose you either, you have a special place in my heart and soul, I can’t lose you...ever.” Pulling him in, kissing him deeply passionately, but briefly. The kiss only lasts a few moments, but it conveys all the feeling you want Cas to know.

“Y/N…What do you want me to do?”

“Just don’t leave me.” You sigh. You know that will be hard for him to do with the way Steve feels about either him or Dean being around you much. “I need you to just be there for me if I need you.” Looking at him, his eyes locking with yours.

Cas nodding slowly, keeping his eyes on you. “I will always be there for you, you don’t have to ask.”

“Is Dean going to be okay?” you say pulling away from him, looking at Dean laying on the floor. “I mean he looks adorable, sleeping quietly, but…”

“He’ll be fine. I just put him to sleep for a bit, he’ll wake up and probably want to apologize to you for his behavior.”

“What behavior?” you turn to see Steve, A very pissed looking Steve. You are instantly wondering how much he heard.

“Cas had to put Dean to sleep.” Steve looking from you, to Cas, then down to Dean, then back up to you.

“Is that before or after that happened?” He is pointing at your shoulder. Looking down you see a strap is off your shoulder and slightly torn from the seam connecting it to your dress.

“Steve…”

“Before or after!” he raises his voice. “This is our engagement party and I find you in your ex’s bedroom. I deserve an answer.”

“I...”

“He was drunk and acting like an idiot.” Cas, interjecting on your behalf, informs Steve.

“First off...that is every day...and second I believe I asked MY FINANCE.”

“Steve, he got angry, he was upset and…”

“Did he hurt you?” Steve's voice going soft examining you closer.

“No…he was just…Cas stopped him.

Steve turning to Cas, his posture was protective, and Steve knowing who the protective mindset is focused on, nodding to him, “Thank you.” 

Steve gently putting an arm around you. “Let’s go back to the party, Pepper is looking for you, she wants to discuss possible themes for the wedding.”

“OK…” turning to Cas. “Cas, thank you for being here for me.” The underlying meaning lost on Steve, but Cas understanding and nodding.

The rest of the evening is spent talking to Pepper. regaling her and Laura about how you and Steve finally got together, the wedding plans and the baby. You also caught Steve from time to time his eyes glued on you. You smile back, your heart calling to him, feeling both anxious and nervous about the life you have ahead of you with him. The idea of making him your awakening your desire for him. Spending a few more minutes talking to Pepper, and now Nat who is rekindling the conversation about your wedding ideas.

“Y/N, did you even think about it?”

“Not really Nat, like I told Pepper, I had no idea any of this was even going to happen.”

“Not even fantasies when you were younger.” Pepper is shocked. “Every girl fantasizes about their wedding.”

You just shake your head not wanting to discuss this right now. What you really want to do is go to your fiancé, take him into your room, and have him make love to you. But instead, you are trying to be polite. “I guess...if I were to plan anything, I would like something intimate, small. I don’t want or need a huge ceremony just close friends and family.”

Nat seems slightly disappointed, but Pepper just smiles. “That sounds lovely, I think Steve would love that.”

Then it hits you that song he asked to have played for your wedding. “Maybe something late 40’s vintage, art deco.” Your mind is inspired. “Simple colors, blacks, champagnes, whites and reds.”

“Oh wow, that sounds so beautiful.” You smile at the images filling your mind, happy that the others are loving the idea as well.

“I can work with this…” Pepper wandering off obviously inspired, wanting to start writing down ideas. You turn to Nat who is looking at Bruce, then looking at you again smiling walking over to him. 

Finally free, you go find Steve, it doesn't take long before he finds you. “Care to dance beautiful?” His voice bringing your longing for him higher. You let him pull you in and slowly move with him. “So what were you ladies talking about?”

“Our wedding.” looking up at him, he is looking down at you smiling. “I picked a theme and color scheme. It should keep them busy for a few weeks.” Feeling Steve laughing silently, endearing him to you more. 

“Can I ask?”

“I was inspired by you.”

“So ice-themed…or red white and blue?” He says joking.

“No, I was going for the 40’s art deco. Your song choice inspired me...to be more precise.”

“Y/N…I…”

“You don’t like it?” this is not the reaction you are expecting. You didn’t know what reaction you are expecting but it is not this.

“No...baby...that’s not it…I want this to be about both of us and our future. Not me and our past.” He looks worried. “I want the wedding to be about you, the woman I love, and want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Steve…first of all...you are my future. And that era, it’s romantic and beautiful. Perfect for our wedding. Plus it’s uniquely you.”

“Well, in that case, I love it.”

“Good...cause Pepper and Nat are already working on it.” You laugh softly as his smile grows.

“You know they are going to be fighting over that coveted spot in the wedding.” 

“I know...maybe I’ll just have Cas be my maid of honor.” Steve laughs full-heartedly at that.

“God, I love how you make me laugh.”

“Oh is that all you love?” You say flirtatiously.

Smiling back at you he whispers, “Oh no there are a lot of things I love about you.”

“Is there now?”

“Yes, I love your eyes, how they sparkle when you say my name,” he says innocently. “That sweet laugh that you have when I don’t get a reference, but then you explain it to me it too me before I make a fool of myself.”

You mock yawn. “Ok…” 

He pulls his chest back from you looking at you amused. “Am I boring you?”

“Oh no,” you feign dismissiveness. “I was just thinking I’d get more juicer info.” looking to him batting your eyelashes in mock innocence. Picking up the clue, he changes gears.

“Or the way you call my name out, while I’m making love to you,” he whispers in your ear kissing you lightly behind it. “The way your hips move, mesmerizing me, when you make your way through a room, making me want to take you right there.” The way he is talking is driving you crazy. You are fighting to restrain yourself from pulling him to your room. “but there is always the way your pussy clenches around me as we cum together milking me for every drop.” His deep seductive whisper almost making you cum right there in front of everyone.

“Steve…” you moan softly.

“What’s wrong baby?" he is devilishly whispering. “Are you getting hot for me? Should I take you right here in front of everyone? Bend you over the bar and show everyone you’re mine.”

Your knees going weak, about give out, but Steve is holding you firmly to him. “God...Steve,” you say barely above a whisper. Slowly letting go of you, before quickly pulling you off the floor, stops to tell Tony and Clint that you need to go lie down. Watching the two of you leaving the party, Tony giving Steve a knowing nod, saying quietly, “I’m handing out earplugs tonight.” You stifle a laugh, Steve blushing before walking away. It amazes you how Steve can be so shy about sex when talking to others, but with you, he is so open and demanding of what he wants.


	34. Chapter 34

Stumbling into your room with him, your lips attached in a deep kiss. Letting go of you for a moment, he closes the door, locking it. Grabbing the nearby dresser moving it in front of the door, raising your eyebrow at him. “You think I’m going to run away?”

“No, I just don’t want to be disturbed.” The implications of his tone making your core drip with anticipation. He moves towards you. You smiling at him as you back yourself up to the bed, you're about to climb onto it when he stops you. 

“Stop!” You freeze unsure of what is going on. “I want you to stay standing.” His voice commanding, movings to you. “I want to undress you myself.” His chest lightly presses against yours while reaching behind you and slowly unzipping your dress. The dress falling to the floor slowly revealing the outfit Nat picked out fro you earlier. The white sheer corset with silky white inlay under a floral strip running down the center from below the breast to the crotch. Watching Steve's eyes taking you in starting at the top and following down to the clips holding the thigh high stockings, the look in his eyes going from passionate need to ravenous hunger making you moan softly.

“God, you are killing me.” He growls out. Reaching for you, you take the opportunity to tease him.

“No.” You say teasing him seductively. He groans and you really don't want to delay your own satisfaction, but you want to make sure Steve knows that you have made your choice. “I want to undress you too.” Moving to him, you begin slowly removing his jacket, then his tie, sliding it off his neck slowly running it through his fingers while you grace his lips with a brief kiss. You slowly start unbuttoning his shirt, seeing his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. Reaching up with your hands, slowly running them over his chest, over every curve and ripple of his chest. Tracing each line with your fingers gently memorizing his body through your touch. Hearing the catch in his breath knowing that he is getting more anxious with each touch. When your fingertips reach the edge of his waist, you drop to your knees. Ignoring his look, knowing he is watching you closely. Knowing he is watching making you more daring. You remove your hands from his abdomen and place them on his thighs, they are hard and tense as your grip them softly moving your hands sinfully slow to his waist. Hearing him taking in a deep breath, his hands lightly running down the back of your head smoothing over your hair. Determined to torture him you move your mouth over his now bulging erection under his pants, giving you a soft open mouths kiss. "Fuck..." He moans. One of his hands gripping your hair, the other moving to remove himself from the restraints of his pants. Quickly batting his hand away, you undo the button on his pants, dragging your tongue down to the zipper taking it in between your teeth pulling it down. Reaching your hands round behind him, brushing your fingers across his firm pert ass, before pulling his pants and boxers down in one swift motion. Leaving them in a puddle at his feet. Pulling back a bit you take in the look of him, running your hands slowly around to the front of him. One hand moving to his stomach the other moving to grasp his fully-erect penis. You begin moving your head forward when you feel him pulling your head back gently by your hair.

“Baby...you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to…” Moving your lips to him, running your tongue over his tip circling it slowly. After a couple of circles, you move slowly to take the tip completely into your mouth testing the feeling. You move him into your mouth hen throat slowly both teasing him and allowing yourself to adjust to him. You feel his hands in your hair and the slight pull makes you moan around him. He shudders at the vibration his hands tightening to keep his control.

You start moving your mouth up and down his shaft, slowly, increasing your speed. Within minutes moving his length in and out of your mouth with reckless abandon, his moans filling the room. Feeling him tightening his hold on your hair, he quickly pulls himself out of your mouth. “Damn it, baby, you feel good, but I don’t want to cum yet.”

Reaching down pulling you up, pushing you against the bed, stepping out of his pants. You slowly begin moving up the bed, laying back he climbs onto the bed remaining by your feet. “I’m such a lucky man.” He says mostly to himself, his eyes rack over your body. “You are absolutely gorgeous, but you know that don’t you.” watching him, not saying a word. He slowly starts kissing up against the inside of your leg, nibbling at a spot here and there leaving a make high inside your thigh. Making his way to your inner thigh he stops. “Tell me what you want” His voice low, the vibrations against your thigh sending shivers down your spine.

“Steve, Please.” You whine.

“Tell me what you want, baby?” His eyes locking with yours before kissing your inner thigh one last time before moving up to kiss your stomach.

“I want you inside me.” Steve moving slowly up your body, peppering you with kisses and nips, watching you squirming when he hits sensitive or ticklish spots. “Steve…Please.” Your impatience showing.

His breath soft against your skin. “Is my baby getting impatient?” Your eyes closing cherishing the feel of him as his lips leave a wet trail along your neck. Reaching for him trying to pull him into you, he clasps your hands with his above your head.

“No…tonight is about us, about our engagement. I’m going to take my time, enjoy this, and enjoy you.” Your frustration lets itself known in a growl. You feel Steve moving his hand slowly up and down your side caressing your skin while kissing you passionately. Feeling his hand stalling on your hip, pushing you firmly into the bed. His other hand moving slowly to your other hip then to your core, kissing your neck leaving another trail of wet kisses making his way to your ear whispering. “Baby, are you for me to make sweet love to you?”

“Please”

“Hmm…Let’s see.” moving a single finger into you, you bucking into his hand at the sensation.

“God...baby is that for me?” He adds a second finger, pushing in deeper. 

“Steve....please…”

HIs lips capturing yours, starting to pump in and out of you deliberately, combining sensations. Breaking the kiss, biting into your shoulder, sending you over the edge.

“Oh GOD...Steve.”

“That’s it baby” Steve continuing to move his in and out of you taking you through your orgasm, feel yourself melting into the bed as you come down. Steve kissing you softly before pulling away, feeling the bed shifting slightly as you moan at the loss of him.

“Steve?” raising your head looking for him, seeing him moving down to your core, kissing around your stomach and then working his way to your hips. As he shifts you feel his erection gently brushing your inner leg. His hands moving to hold you down by the hips, making you move up onto your elbows watching him. Your eyes catching his before he buries his face between your thighs sliding his tongue between your folds, the sensation making you moan loudly.

“You like that baby?” he says against your folds doing it again, moving his tongue between your folds again, running his tongue from your entrance to your clit, circling it a few times before taking your nub between his teeth. Pinching it gently. He quickly returns to licking your clit with his tongue. After a few more licks, pushing his tongue inside you again, removing it and replacing it with his fingers. Starting to suck and nip at your clit with more vigor. in only a matter of minutes to feel your climax approaching. You’ll know you will never get used to what this man can do to you.

“Steve…I’m close…” you cry out. 

“It’s okay baby, I want to taste you.” He starts to move his tongue faster, his fingers matching pace. 

“Oh, God.” You cry out, the new pace sending waves of stimulation through your body. You can feel your orgasm. “Steve…”

“Cum for me baby…” Your wrap your fingers into his hair, gripping hard, making him moan into you, the vibrations sending you over the edge. He continues to lick at your center, licking up all your juices, as you come down.

“God baby...you are beautiful.” He kisses your hips lightly than your stomach. Licking his lips slowly the look absolutely sinful. He resumes kissing up to your body, worshiping it. “And sexy.” A couple more kisses. “and strong.” Sucking on your right nipple, his eyes meeting yours as you lie back. “And all mine.” He says as he captures your lips with his, tasting yourself on his tongue. Moving your hands from his hair and slide them in between the two of you. “Steve, I need you, please…” Your hand finding his extremely hard erection and you stretch your fingers around it, moving slowly up and down his length, hearing him hiss.

“Fuck…” Steve sounding destroyed. “I want to take my time.”

“Baby, we have forever together.” Reminding him, tightening your grip on him a little tighter moving him to line up with you. “I need you now,” kissing him fiercely increasing the pace of your hand around him.

“Fuck…” You know he’s giving in. Pulling your hands away from him, pinning them above your head with one hand, the other moving to line himself up with your entrance. “You are going to be the death of me, baby.”

“But I thought I was the one who saved you,” playfully quoting his own words from earlier. Groaning in response as he enters you slowly. You lean up to him, pulling him in with a deep passion-filled kiss. Once he is fully inside of you, you try moving, but his free hand is holding your hips down.

“Baby, let me make love to you.” You see in his eyes how much he needs this and you give in.

“Ok…I love you.” You whisper in his ear stilling your hips. His hand letting go of your wrists, both moving to the sides of your face. He begins to move with a slow purposeful pace. His eyes locking with yours. You kiss him softly and relish in the feeling of him inside you.

“God...you feel so good...I love you soo much,” Steve whispers to you.

“I love you too.” Your hands moving to the back of his shoulders, feeling the muscles flexing under your touch. Pulling him in for another kiss, the kiss is deep and sensual, Moaning into him as Steve slightly changes the angle of his hips, getting deeper into you.

“Baby…I love you,” he begins slowly kissing down your neck to your shoulder. His hips starting to move a little faster. “I just…”

You know what he is feeling because your body is verging too. “Baby...it’s okay, we have all night.” Your hands move to his ass coaxing him to keep increasing his pace not wanting to push him. You know he wants to make tonight special, but his need is driving him as well.

“Christ baby you feel so good I can’t control myself.”

“Its okay baby let go, I’m here with you,” At the encouragement, his hands tightening on your hips and his thrusting increasing in pace.

“God...baby...I just…” Groaning loudly, starting to push into you harder. You move your legs around his waist.

“Fuck me…deeper...harder.” You wrap your legs tighter around him. He immediately moves into action, pulling your hips up to him, his trusts coming faster and hard enough you start to nudge you up the bed. “God…YES…Fuck Yes.” Your nails digging into his back, holding on as you feel Steve starting to throb inside of you.

“God baby you feel so tight…you fit me just perfectly.” You feel his mouth on your neck. He bites down making your moan, licking the bite soothing it.

“Steve…God...Steve…I…” Thrusting up to meet him, feeling you tighten around him, spurring him to move even faster. 

Baby…You're so tight…You feel so good…I’m getting close.”

“Me too…I...God....you fill me soo…good....right there.” He is feeling deeper, feeling him moving one leg over his arm, instantly pushing you closer to the edge.

“Steve…God…YES…just like THAT!” Your voice filling the room. You are crying out in pleasure, you are on the verge of screaming out, Steve moaning in response as his hips are moving faster and his thrusts getting harder. “Just…GOD Steve…MY Christ…” You scream out unable to maintain control.

"Y/N…I…I can’t.” Steve is slamming into you. Grabbing onto him, trying to stay with him, Then you feel it, the full sensations of yours and Steve’s orgasm filling you. “Steve…God…” You scream out as you hear him calling out to you as well. The two of you continue riding out your orgasms. As Steve is stilling inside of you, you pull him down for a full, passionate kiss that slowly turns to a gentle loving one.

After a few moments, Steve rolling to the side pulling you onto him. You start tracing his chest with your fingers. He is lightly tracing his fingers just above your hip. “Baby why can’t we make more than one baby?”

You laugh softly. “How about you get used to the one we have before we start creating more?”

Hearing his pout in his voice, “But making them is so much fun.”

“Well, who said we can’t just keep in practice, so we can get really good at it.” You joke climbing up his chest capturing his lips with yours pouring all the love you are feeling for him into the kiss. 

“Can we start now?” Steve whispering to you once you break the kiss, pulling you on top of him. You feel his partially erect penis against your leg. 

“Captain, I think YOUR stamina is going to be the death of me…” you whisper softly smiling. Your hands lightly messaging his pecks.

“Baby, I won’t ever hurt you.” Smirking he continues. “I may fuck you into this bed...and make it so you can’t walk for a week...but you’ll love every second of it.” With that, he pushes himself into you. The shock of him filling you again making you call out to him. 

“OH...GOD,STEVE...FUCK”

“Yes…that is the plan. Fuck you until you can’t move!” setting a brutal pace his hips pounding up into you while his hands are gripping your hips, holding you into place. All you can manage is moans, whimpers, and screams of his names as he is keeping up his relentless pace.

“Steve…God…You…Fuck…How…OH GOD YES!!” Soon he is reducing you to a moaning mess. You regain control of your sense and shift placing your hands in his chest for leverage beginning to bounce on him, moving him deeper into you. “God Steve…I swear…. you get…. bigger…every…time…Christ.” Your orgasm sneaking up on you your walls spasming around him.

“Christ...Yeah baby, ride me, just like that.” He guides your body as it is starting to falter from your third orgasm, “Com’ on baby don’t stop now.”

You feel yourself starting to collapse on him, sensing it flipping the both of you over, pulling your legs over his shoulders and rises on his knees and resumes the relentless pace he was using before. “Baby, I know you have another one in you.”

“Steve…I can’t…I…” your mind exhausted from overstimulation, but your body reacting to him, feeling another orgasm rising inside of you. “Steve…Fuck.”

“Captain…call me, Captain.” You look at him and realize he is serious.

“Captain…I…Christ.” Shifting slightly, hitting you exactly right, your impending orgasm skyrocketing, feeling your combined fluids seeping out of you as you cum yet again.

“That’s it…I love it when you call me Captain.” shows no signs of reaching his own release. After a few more trusts bringing you down from your high, slowly pulling out of you. You are both relieved and curious. “Rollover, ass up.” You obey. He quickly lines himself up with you, slamming home. “Fuck” he yells out then quickly resumes a brutal pace. You brace yourself on the headboard seeing the damage Steve made the last time you were in this position. The memory causing your fifth orgasm of the night to begin creeping up on you.

“Steve…” smacking you lightly on the ass, you yelp, it is a gentle reminder, as he continues slamming into you. “Captain…” you pant trying to keep your voice low. “I’m getting close again.”

“Good girl…” Steve whispers, his trust becoming faster but more precise hitting your g-spot every time. Cum for me again baby.” You hear the headboard hitting the wall with each thrust.

“Cap…please…” Steve sensing your need, moving one of his hand from your hip to your core and rubbing your clit slowly as his thrusts become erratic. “FUCK…” you scream at the overstimulation, feeling your orgasm rushing to its peak. Steve’s pace becoming quick and erratic. Both of you finding release at the same time. “Fuck…Captain. You are screaming as he cries out your name with his release. You collapse onto the bed. Steve falls on top of you but quickly moves to the side so you can breathe. 

“Wow…that was…”

“Amazing…” Steve finishing for you, running his knuckles over your back lightly his breathing heavy as well. 

“You, you are amazing.”

You roll to face him. “No baby. You are the only one who can do this to me. You get all the credit.” kissing him softly, snuggling into him. 

He kisses the top of your head. “Sleep baby…” That is that last thing you hear from him, falling into a deep sleep in his arms.


	35. Chapter 35

Making your way to the kitchen early the next morning. You are wanting to make breakfast for everyone before they get up. Steve and the two Sams, so far are the only ones up. They had fallen into the habit of doing their morning runs together. You’re in the kitchen making pancakes when you hear some shuffling behind you. “Good Morning.” calling out over your shoulder to whoever is there.

“Mornin’” you hear Dean’s rough voice. “Hey...about last night.”

“Dean...it's ok. Besides...I’m not the one you should be worried about, Steve is not too impressed.”

“Fuck…” he says more to himself than to you. “Is he going to kill me?”

“Well…” giving the matter some serious thought. You start pouring the batter out for another set of pancakes. “I have never known him to be a killer, he is not the violent type...normally, but…well think about it this way. YOU made a move on his fiancé the night of their engagement, and he is a very protective man.”

“Great…just great.” Dean drops his head to the table, you return to cooking. Soon after Cas entering into the room, catching your eye, looking at you then Dean, before moving to stand next to you.

“Morning Cas.” Your voice lighter Dean sensing this raising his head eyebrow cocked.

“Can I assist you?”

“You can fry up to the sausages for me. Cooking for this group can be quite an undertaking." Cas smiles nodding before starting on his task.

“Well...isn’t this domestic,” Dean's snide comment coming from behind the two of you. Ignoring him, knowing he is trying to gain information about something, seeing the way Cas is too comfortable with you, in his determination. “Why aren’t you on Captain Perfects radar?” his growling tone directed at Cas.

Cas giving you a sideways glance before turning to Dean, “Because...we have an agreement.” replying simply, making Dean more irritable.

“Oh...so what? You sharing her now?.” motioning to you, he words getting your attention. “She’s his three weeks in a month and you get her one week and every other weekend?”

“Dean…That is enough. I’m not a toy to be handed around.” Glaring at him his eyes meeting yours, you can tell he isn't backing down, so you continue. “I made my choice and I chose Steve. Cas has accepted that. He and Steve discussed it, and I asked that Cas be able to be around. I need someone who can be there for our baby when we cannot.”

Dean looking at Cas, who simply nods to Dean. “OH that’s perfect," Dean throw's his hands in the air. "and on the side, you can sneak a little something from time to time.”

“Dean, that is inappropriate!” Cas scolding Dean.

“Not if it’s true.” And there is the sullen teenage voice you know. The voice that comes out when Dean knows he’s lost the argument but doesn’t want to admit it.

“Dean…I’m not having this conversation right now. You just have to accept things as they are or not. There is nothing I can do to help you.” You plate another set of pancakes and begin pouring out another set to cook. Cas watching Dean a moment longer before returning to cook his sausages.

The room quieting to only the sound of the sizzling of sausage and the occasional sound of pancakes being flipped. The smell of the cooking food filling the room beginning to permeate the bunker. The team slowly starting to make their way to the kitchen. The first to arrive is Thor with Clint in tow. “Lady Y/N, you are a gift from the heavens.” Grabbing you quickly from behind as lifting you up in a tight embrace. “Thank you for the wondrous feast you have prepared.” Putting you down, filling his plate with the cakes and links.

“Yeah, Thanks...Y/N…Cas.” Clint says from behind Thor. “I wasn’t sure you’d...uh...make it for breakfast. Steve...he was...uh…he was pretty hard on you last night.” You feel your face blush.

“Clint… Lovemaking should always be vigorous and long-lasting. They have much to celebrate.” Thor responding to Clint, making your face deepen to a darker shade of red. You can now feel the heat radiating from your flushed face. Hearing a chair sliding across the floor, turning you see Dean storming out. Cas noticing Dean leave too before turning looking to you, you frown back at him sadness in your eyes.

Your finish making the food as the rest of the team slowly begins making their way in. Steve and the Sams entering last, having showered after their run. Steve making his way over to you, pulling you in for a deep kiss, making you moan softly in appreciation. “Baby you need to eat, here let me get these for you. Grabs the plates of food, while Cas is grabbing the syrup and juice, all of you moving to the other room to eat. 

Sam quickly looking around the kitchen. “Where is Dean?”

“He got angry at me and left,” Cas answering. looking to you. You smile to him grateful you don’t have to attempt explaining yourself. Sam nods a grim expression on his face. He can tell there is more to it than what he’s being told. His eyes catching your eyes for a moment letting you know the two of you are going to talk more. You look away moving to sit next to Steve. He is making a plate for both of you. Cas sitting at your other side.

“Y/N, so when we get back, I am going to show you and Steve your new quarters,” Tony announcing as he slathers butter on his pancakes.

“New quarters?” Both you and Steve ask in unison.

“Well...yeah…you need room for your expanding family.” You look to Steve who is smiling at you. “I had a floor that was two down from my living area. I was going to use for something else, but this seems more fitting.” He motions at the two of you. “Pepper already started on construction. It should be plenty of room for you and your growing little family.”

“Steve, did you?” Steve taking your hand in his. 

“I came here hoping to leave with a girlfriend, but…well plans change.” He leaning over, kissing your cheek.

“You two are so cute! You're making me jealous,” Nat says and Bruce looks at her.

“Hey, I’m romantic. Aren’t I?” Bruce asks her. 

“In your own way.” She replies sweetly kissing him briefly. 

“So, what’s the return plan, then?” Clint asks trying to avoid all the feelings.

“We were hoping to head back tonight if that’s okay?” Steve says looking to you. You nod. 

“Tonight is fine, I really need to get out of here and clear my head a bit.” Feeling a slight sadness at leaving here, but you are ready to move forward with your life.

“Well ...good then, tonight it is.” Tony putting both hands on the table in finality. “Jarvis, have the jet prepped and ready for departure tonight.”

"Very good Sir." 

After breakfast, you and Steve go to your room to start packing. It doesn’t take long. Steve gathering up your luggage, taking it to the plane, and give you some time to talk with the group. You find Sam in his room. You stand silently in the door, watching him lounging on his bed. Giving him a moment before speaking. “Sam, can we talk?”

“Anytime, what’s up?”

“We’re leaving today.”

“I know…congratulations on the engagement by the way.”

“Sam, I’m a mess.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, thanks for being gentle.”

“Y/N...is that what you? DO you want for me to be gentle.”

“No, I guess not.” Smiling at him. He puts the book he is reading aside, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. He pats the bed beside indicating that he wants you to sit there.

“Well...DO you love Steve?”

“Yes, I do I know that for sure, now.”

“And what about Dean or Cas?”

“I thought I loved Dean, but I think I just loved the romanticized version of him I had of him in my mind.”

“Well, that is something I never thought you would use to explain my brother.” chuckling he repeats. “Romanticized.” You laugh softly at yourself.

“Yeah, I suppose that is a little weird. I just created this image of him in my mind and…” Looking down, shaking your head, feeling like a stupid school girl. “Well...let’s say I wanted something from him he is unable to give me.” Sam nodding in understanding.

“I can tell you that Dean, does care about you deeply. His problem is, he simply isn’t good at admitting it until he is forced to. Even then, he doesn’t do well with commitment. He is a hunter, through and through, and that life, for his always comes first.”

“Yeah, I figured that out too late.” Looking to Sam, tears falling at the reminder of your heartache. “That’s the reason I left. I needed more, and well...what we had...wasn’t going anywhere.” Sighing you wipe a tear away. "I will always love him, don’t get me wrong, he is the first real love of my life. I just needed a more mature relationship...then bars and bed.”

“And Cas…”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about. I Love Steve, I see my life moving forward with him.”

“But…” Sam turning facing you, concern forming on his face.

“Cas...he blindsided me,” you feel tears brimming your eyes, again. “I knew he cared for me. That day he left me in New York, he kissed me, but before I could react, he just disappeared. I was scared to call him. I didn’t want Dean to know where I was. If Dean came to see me, I would have left with him, and I knew that it would be a bad choice.” Looking at Sam, he nods in understanding.

“Dean would have drug you back here. He was pissed at Cas. They didn’t talk for months. Dean was in a constant state of drunkenness almost as long. He actually got into a few physical confrontations with Cas.”

Sams information making your head spin facing him. “You’re kidding! Cas never told me that!”

“Cas just let Dean hit him, then I stepped in. Cas was pretty beat up, I think he regretted letting you go too, in hindsight.”

“I had no idea it was so bad here.” You look down at the floor guilt filling your mind.

“Y/N, don’t do that. Don’t feel guilty for doing what is best for you.”

“But is it?” you think for a second. “I love my life. I love how Steve is treating me. HE is perfect…to me...He loves me.”

“Why am I sensing another but?”

“Cas…he had plans for us…he was hoping...if Dean and I fell apart...that he would be there for me. I feel something special with him. There’s a connection between us I just can’t seem to push away.”

“Plans like what?”

“He built a cottage for us…Sam. Not far from here.”

“What!” it is Sam’s chance to be surprised. “He built you a house?”

“Yeah, …he showed it to me that day I was… The day I went missing. That was where I was coming back from when...”

“Wow…” Sam smiling slightly, unsure of what to think. “Now...that is commitment.”

“I know. And it is beautiful, simple but beautiful.”

“So…what happened between you and Cas?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t let him go…”

“Y/N...you have to, you’re engaged to Steve now.”

“I know Sam, trust me.” You consider your next words. “I think that if I was carrying Cas's baby...this would have ended a lot differently.”

“You care about him that much?”

“Sam, I think I love him.”

“Y/N...you need to let him go, for the sake of everyone involved.”

“I know Sam, but I don’t know if I can.”

“Y/N, you have to.” Sam looking away, seeing his shoulders rising and falling in a huff. “If you keep them both in the dark...you are just being selfish. And that is not it will tear all three of you apart."

“I know.”

“You want my opinion?”

“That is what I am hoping for by talking with you.”

“Then go back with Steve. Y/N it is obvious that you love him. He loves you more than I have ever seen a man love a woman.” You can’t hide the shock you feel, but then you sile realizing Sam is right. 

“I thought you would tell me to be with Cas?”

“Is that what you wanted me to say?”

You give this a moments though. “I don’t know... I just thought, with your relationship with him.”

“Y/N, I’d love to see Cas happy, and I’d love to see you stay here with us, but I am telling you what I think would be best for you. You love Steve, he loves you. HE CAN give you security, safety, and comfort.”

“But Cas…”

Sam holds his hands up. “Cas would give his life to protect you, but that is what would happen. If you ever have a child with Cas, the full force of heaven would come down on the two of you. And Cas is still a hunter. The chances of him not taking work home are slim. And with you and the baby, you need a safe, stable, environment.”

You nod, that is what you are thinking as well. “Yeah, You’re right. Thanks for breaking it down for me.”

“Y/N, I know this is hard.” Placing his hand on your shoulder. “But believe me, sometimes the obvious choice is not clear from inside the situation.” Sam hesitating, pulling you in for a hug. You hold him tightly to you. Silent tears falling from your eyes. You know what you need to do, but it hurts so badly. 

“Sam, I don’t know if I can.”

“Y/N I know it will be hard, but you’ll need to soon. Or you will run the risk of losing them both.”

“I know.”


	36. Chapter 36

“Y/N” You hear a voice from the door. Sam stiffens in your arms for a second before letting go of you, your eyes meeting Sam's. Sam nodding to you, turning you see Cas. This is the first time you are seeing Cas since last night.

“Cas…” standing you walk over to him.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” Cas's voice is low and unsure, the sound unsettling to you. Cas is usually so confident around you.

“Yes, I think that would be a good idea...before I leave.”

Nodding, Cas takes your hand in his. You put your another hand on Cas's he looks at you questioningly, seeing the answer in your eyes. Turning to Sam, looking down to his feet. “Can you…”

“Yeah, I’ll tell Steve you’ll be back.” Sam smiling at you then looking to Cas. “Make sure she gets back here soon, I think they are leaving in a couple of hours.”

“I understand.” Cas answers, and with that, you both disappear. You looking around finding the same comfortable sofa from before, dropping onto it. Cas moving to sit next to you. Crawling into Cas's side cuddling yourself up to him.

“Cas, I don’t want to leave…”

“I know…”

“But I made a choice…”

“I know…” this time you feel him running his fingers through your hair. Your tears wetting his coat.

“Cas, I don’t want to choose. I don’t want to lose you. I just found you.”

“You won’t” Cas tipping your face so you can see his. “You asked me to be there for you and I will, however, you want me too.”

“That’s not fair to you.”

“Let me decide what is fair to me.” Your eyes searching his. He sighs. “I love you. I have watched you from afar while you were with Dean. I watched and I waited. When I got my chance, I sent you away. I'm not making that mistake again. Now...I know that you love me and you know I love you...I am not going to lose you again. Even if it means I have to watch you living a life with another man.”

“Cas, you need to live your life. And what about Steve? I have to give him a chance.”

“And you will. I will give you the space you need. I did the same with you and Dean. The only difference is that I will be there, whenever and however, you need me to be.” Cas shifting closer to you. “That way, if or when, you decide you need me, I’ll be there.” Your eyes falling from his to his lips, licking your own. You eyes meeting his as he leans in kissing you softly. You intensify the kiss slightly. The kiss continues for a few minutes before he pushes you away. You sigh looking at him in confusion.

“Y/N, are you sure you want this to go further? You just got engaged to Steve.” Looking at Cas seeing he is hurting, you nod. Curling back into him. “Cas, are you sure you are going to be ok with this arrangement. I mean you may have to see me with Steve.”

“I’m going to even be there for you, even when you don’t know you need me to be. When you love someone, you do what is best for them even when they don’t want you too, Sam and Dean taught me that.” Looking away seems to be considering the situation. Laying your head against him, waiting for his response. “Yes, but you miss understand me.”

“How so?” Tipping your head up, looking to him for clarification. 

“I will only be there when Steve cannot.” Looking down to you. “If Steve can fill the role you need, then I will not be needed.” Staring at him unsure how to react to him. “If I am there when he is, it will make things confusing for you, and for the young one. Steve will also be cheated out of his chance to be the husband and father he can be.”

Pulling him tighter to you, you feel the tears building then bursting out, you begin to sob, Cas holding you to him letting your feelings flow. The two of you sitting in silence contemplating the future lying ahead of you both.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Securing the luggage in the jet, Steve sighs sitting down. He can’t figure out how everything went to hell, in the beginning, when the two of you met everything seems so perfect. Then the two of you came here and now he is fighting for the one person he thought would never leave. You have never shown interest in anyone before, you never told him about your past with Dean, and you definitely never told him about Cas. Feeling like he is going crazy trying to make it work with you. Knowing you had feelings for another Dean and Cas. Despite all of this he still loves you, he would give anything including his own life to protect you. "What the hell am I doing?" He says to himself, but loud enough from the other person in the plane to hear him.

“Steve, you okay?” Looking up Steve sees Bruce.

“I don’t even know…” he admits.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah…Bruce, am I doing the right thing?”

“That depends...what are we talking about?”

“Am I wasting my time chasing someone who…” Steve stops talking shaking his head.

“Do you love her?” Bruce asks him knowing exactly what Steve is going through.

“Yes, with everything I am.”

“Then yes, you are.” Steve is surprised to hear those words looking at Bruce. Bruce looking at him for a moment then to the back of the jet. “Trust me...sometimes the most impossible situations turn into the best circumstances.” Steve giving Bruce a quizzical look, urging Bruce to explain. “Bruce, I think she is in love with another man, how can anything good come from that?”

“Steve…She loves you! It is all over her face when you are with her. The way she looks at you, the way she smiles at you, if I could feel half of the love she feels for you, I’d be glowing and not in the bad green-way.”  
Steve remaining silent considering him. Bruce, shaking his head, continues on. “My God, you don’t even see it, do you? She may care for Cas or even Dean, but she is head over heels for you. She has been since she first met you. She pinned after you for months before you asked her to dinner. All she ever talked to me or Nat about is you. The night you asked her out she thought it was a date. She was over the moon, you had her from the beginning. That kind of love, nothing can break that. She waited three years for you to be hers. Don’t question it, just enjoy it.” Bruce gets a distant look in his eyes. “You’ll never know how long it will be...until she’s gone.”

This last part hitting Steve hard. Peggy coming to his mind instantly. He had just lost her when you arrived at the tower. He was grieving her for months before he even decided to move on. He did not want to go through that pain again if he could help it, losing you would be worse. Losing you would kill him. He feels things for you he had never felt for anyone ever in his life.

“Bruce, the rest of the team, they know what has been going on.”

“Yeah, they do, they also know how much you two care for each other.” Getting up, Bruce slowly starts walking across the jet. He starts rearranging and securing some of the lab equipment. “They also know they have no room to judge. We’ve all made some questionable choices in our professional and private lives.” Turning quickly facing Steve. “But you choosing Y/N is not one of those types of choices. You two are meant to be. There are too many variables that had to come into play for the two of you to meet.”

“Bruce, I don’t think I can handle losing her.”

“Why are you thinking about leaving her then?” 

“I don’t know I just… I can't stand to see her leave me...”

“Steve, Did I ever tell you about Betty Ross?” Steve looks up, shaking his head. “She was the first love of my life. And I…or the other guy put her in the hospital.” Steve’s eyes widening. “She begged me to stay, she wanted to continue to help me. She loved me. But I ran.” 

Steve’s head dropping, Steve would kill himself before he could ever hurt you like that. “I’m sorry Bruce, I had no idea.”

Bruce waving it off, continuing. “When I finally did come back, she had moved on. She still wanted to help me, but I just couldn’t bear to watch her with another man. It hurts too much, I was too selfish. So, I left...for good.”

“Bruce…”

“She got married two years ago to that man. They have a baby girl.” Bruce turning to Steve, with a new firmer voice. 

“Don’t let what happened to me, happen to you. Don’t let pride or shame drive you into making a mistake.”

Steve thinking over what Bruce ahs told him. “What about you and Natasha?”

“We are great, we…we just don’t have a true future. She cares for me, but she wants something I can’t give her. Something Cas can’t give Y/N. A normal, stable life.” With that Bruce turns walking down the ramp leaving Steve to sit and think.

“Cas, I need to get back.” Seeing the sky darkening, you know Steve is probably beginning to worry. The sunset was beautiful. It was the perfect way to end the day. 

“I know.” Neither of you moves, not wanting your last night together to end. Some moments after your phone rings. You look down and see that its Steve. You look at Cas, seeing he can see the caller I.D., nodding as you get up.

“Steve…”

“Y/N, we’re about to head out. Can you please come back to the bunker?”

“Yeah, we’ll be right there.” Looking at Cas the disappointment evident in both of your eyes.

“Y/N…”

“Yeah…”

“Thank you...for saying yes.”

“Of course...Steve, I love you.”

“I love you too baby, see you soon.”

You end the call. Turning to Cas. “I’m sorry. But…”

“I know…” Cas kisses you softly. You pull him to you and deepen the kiss with him responding in kind. After a minute he pulls away. “I could do that all night, but we need to get you back to your finance.” 

You nod. “Okay” He wraps his arms around you and you stuff your face into his chest. You pull away a few seconds later to find yourself in your room back at the bunker.

“Goodbye Y/N.” Whispering in your ear, Cas giving you one last soft kiss before disappearing. Drying your eyes while looking around the room. Everything is packed except for a couple of pictures. One is of you and the guys at Bobby’s. It is right after you celebrated getting Cas back from purgatory. The other is a dual-frame, holding two pictures one of you and Dean at the roadhouse, the other was of you and Cas by his old Lincoln. You laugh remembering how much he loved that car. Grabbing the pictures, walking out of the room looking for the rest of your team.

You find Steve sitting by himself. There is a small duffle next to him on the floor. Tony has left all the updates to the bunker intact. You’re sure that Dean and Sam will appreciate that. Tony justifying the gift saying, “Just in case we need a remote base of operations.” But you think it is because Tony has a soft spot for Dean, they are to be two people of the same mind.

“Steve…” you say softly getting his attention.

“Y/N…I know where you were and who you were with.” You stand still silently, unsure of how to respond. “I know you care for him, you love him.” Looking to you, the truth his hurt evident in his eyes. But...I also know that you love me.”

“I do…”

“I just hope that my love for you, the love you have for me and our baby will be enough to keep us together.”

“Steve…” Moving to him, but he holds his hand up, stopping you in place. 

“Baby, I’m not going to pretend I am the only man in your heart, but I want the chance to become the most important one.”

You reach out pulling his hands into yours, as he moves to meet you. “Steve, I chose you. I love you.” Wrapping your arms around him. “I’m leaving with you.”

Pressing his forehead to yours “Is that why you're bringing those with you?” He motions to the two pictures you have in your hand, the ones you brought from your old room.

“Steve...they are a part of me, my memories. I spent ten years with them. They are my friends.”

“Friends? Is that all?”

“Steve...you don’t have to be jealous.”

“I’m not...I just…”

“Steve…baby,” You pull him to you, your eye on his, your lips brushing against his cheek. “I love that you get jealous, it's turning me on.” You move your lips to his starting the kiss soft and sweet, wanting to show him how much you love him. Quickly, Steve turns the kiss forceful and needy. You quickly lose your breath, pulling back, 

“Steve…I think...the team is waiting.”

“When we get back home, we are going straight to our room.” Steve groans in your ear.

“Oh, so you want to break that bed too?” Smirking at him. You laugh softly at Steve ‘s embarrassed blush.

“Oh no, that frame it made from vibrainium.” You laugh.

“Tony must have pulled some strings for that one.” Kissing Steve's cheek before grabbing the bag from the floor putting your pictures into it. “Either he got sick of replacing beds, or of hearing our banging on the wall.” Turning seeing Steve’s face turning a darker red. “Baby, your face gets any redder and I’ll think you have a sunburn.”

“Let’s go…” Grabbing the bag and your hand pulling you to the door, hurriedly.

“Hey, were you going to leave without saying goodbye, Again!”

Steve stopping as you turn seeing Sam standing in the doorway to the war room. “I thought maybe you all were mad at me for leaving again.”

Sam holding his arms out to you, as you run to him wrapping yours around him. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Sam chuckles pulling you in tighter. “You make sure you come back and visit.” Nodding against Sam’s chest, a fresh set of tears falling down your cheeks. “Both of you.” Sam directing the last comment to Steve, turning you see Steve is now standing behind you.

“Of course, I wouldn’t take Y/N away from her other family.”

“Well, that’s good to hear, since she left us once already.” 

Stepping back from Sam, you see Dean standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest taking in the scene. “Dean...” unsure what to say, your anxiety is going through the roof.

“Y/N, you gonna come say goodbye, or are you back on your leash.” The last half of his comment directed at Steve.

“Y/N can do whatever she wants,” Steve’s defensive tone evident.

“Dean…” You put a hand on Steve’s chest, looking at him, your eyes silently telling him to stay. Steve nods, you turn back to Dean. “I was hoping you’d show before I had to leave.” walking over to him.

“Oh...is that why you spent half of the day hiding out with Cas?” Your movement faltering slightly. You know that he is trying to sink doubt into Steve’s mind, drive a wedge. Steve determined to not let Dean get to him or you speaking up.

"Dean, I am very aware of where Y/N was, and who she was with. We have no secrets." Steve replies with a forced smile. 

“No...Dean...we just lost track of the time.”

“Sure you did, just like we did the other night.” You freeze. There it is. Your body tenses and you know Steve both heard him and is now glaring a hole in your back. You pretend to ignore the comment.

“Dean, I’m leaving. Can we at least part in a civil manner? Not like last time.” You are standing in front of him now.

“Sweetheart...is this what you really want?” he voice is low.

“Yes, Dean, it is, please respect that.” Dean looking over your shoulder at Steve who is now pissed. Steve's whole demeanor daring Dean to make a wrong move. Dean eye moving from Steve to yours and back again before turning his full attention onto you.

“Fine, I’ll let you go, but I won’t have to like it.”

“Thank you...” sighing you pull him in for a hug.

“But...if he ever lets you get hurt...or he hurts you in ANY WAY, I will kill him.” Pulling away you see his gaze is fixed on Steve, you can see from his gaze he means it.

“Don’t worry Dean, if he does anything there will be a line.” Looking down at you he smiles, looks up at Steve one last time. Before he pulls you back into him catching you by surprise, he moves in quickly capturing your lips. It is quick, forceful, and surprising.

“Dean!” you push him away shocked at his sudden boldness. Before you know it you see Steve’s fist is in Dean's face, Dean flying to the floor, blood pouring from his nose.

"Y/N...we're leaving…now!!!” Steve grabs you pulling you bt the arm.

Worring about Dean you look at him again, hurt flooding your heart, seeing Dean lying on the floor hand on his face trying to stop the blood. “Dean…” Dean is moving into up slightly, moaning softly. His nose was obviously broken and bloody.

“Y/N, I got him,” Sam says sympathetically. “I’ll call you in a couple of days, to check-in.” Looking at Sam then back at Dean, who is now slowly getting to his feet. The anger he was feeling fully transforming into full-on hurt.

“Sam, I…”

“It’s ok..he deserves it.” You hug Sam one last time, turning to leave. Steve guiding you out the door, less forcefully this time.

Once outside Steve is strapping the duffle onto the back of his bike. Standing there you are unsure if he is going to ask you about what Dean said. Standing there waiting in silence. When Steve finishes securing the bag he quietly mounts his bike. “Are you sure you want to come with me? Or would you rather stay here with them?” His words breaking the silence

You know immediately why he is asking. “Steve…”

“Y/N, at least spare my dignity. I know he was trying to piss me off. I also know that what he said is true. Your body language confirmed it.” He can’t even look at you. You feel your world falling apart. 

“I ...I don't know how it happened...I was upset and alone and he was there and....” 

"Y/N..." Steve is wanting to hear the truth, not the details. 

"I Cried after...I told him it shouldn't have happened... He was pissed that I told...He thought it meant we were together...becasue of what happened....but I told him I wanted to be with you, and I did...I do...I don't feel anything..."

“Are you saying he forced himself on you?” Steve looking to you, his hands making fists on his thighs. After the behavior he has witnessed from Dean when it came to you, he believed it to be a possibility.

“No…I just wasn’t thinking that night.” Steve nodding. “And now? Are you thinking right with me, about us? Is this what you want?”

“Steve,” You place your hand on the side of his face turning him to look at you. “I wouldn’t have said yes to marrying you if I didn’t want you” 

Feeling better, Steve nods. He still has his doubts that you are solely his but at least you had the chance to get the two men out of your system. “Well then, let’s go home.” You start to move to get on the back of his bike, but Steve grabs you, pulling you around to face him giving you a quick kiss. After you get on the back of the bike and the two of you drive off. Looking back over your shoulder at the bunker, you wonder when or if you are ever going to be back again.


	37. Chapter 37

When the jet lands you remain sitting for a few moments. You want this new life, this new beginning. It is why you left for New York, to begin with. At least that’s what you keep trying to tell yourself. Steve standing next to you waiting for everyone else to unload off the jet before offering you a hand.

“I read that while pregnant, air sickness can be a thing. Maybe you should rest for a bit.” Nodding you take Steves hand in yours allowing him to lead you off the jet. You want to lay down not because you are feeling ill from the plane ride, but because you are back. You are at the Avenger Compound, back in New York, 1300 miles away from Cas. The finality of your decision, the full weight of its meaning is hitting you. Heading down the ramp, Steve holding your hand in his with his other hand holding your waist, his arm wrapped around you. As your feet touch the ground, you begin feeling dizzy. Your vision blackening around the edges, before you know it you are feeling yourself dropping.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

“Bruce, she was fine a little tired but she looked fine and she said she was fine. She suddenly just went pale, looked at me and then dropped. If I hadn’t been…if I hadn't been by her side...is she going to be okay?”

“But...you were Steve...you are...,” Natalie reassuring him. “Steve, she’ll be ok. She is under a lot of stress a lot has happened to her and…”

Bruce glancing over the chart again lookup at Steve over his eyeglasses. “When was the last time she ate?”

Steve looking around unsure, he was so concerned with getting you home that he never thought about it, you were gone with Cas all day. “I’m not sure, I was so involved with getting everything ready for us to leave, and she was with Cas all day...” 

Looking to Nat who shrugs, turning to Bruce. “I was packing our things, while you were packing up the lab.”

Steve getting angry. “She was with Cas all morning…” his anger bubbling. “Does he not realize she needs to eat?” Before anyone can say anything, Steve is pulling his phone out.

Three rings then a voice answers. “Steve.”

Steve, taking a deep breath, then continues. “Why didn’t you make sure she ate something?” The others in the room can hear the restraint he is practicing. “You had her, God knows where, all day, doing God knows what, and you didn’t think that she’d need to eat?”

“She didn’t say anything about being hungry.” Cas replies simply then thinking for a second. “Is she okay?” realizing this would be the only reason he could imagine for Steve to be calling, especially so soon.

“She passed out. We have her in the med bay right now…” Steve doesn’t finish. Cas simply appearing in front of him. Steve looking at Cas, then down at the phone, then back at Cas before ending the call. Steve maintaining eye contact with Cas putting his phone away. “I don’t think what she needs...what WE need, is for you to be here.”

“I made a promise to her...I can help her.” Cas replying dismissively to Steve moving around him to your bedside. Putting his hand on your stomach. Below Cas's hand, appearing a small white glow, within moment your breathing visibly relaxing, you features melting into ones of peace. “There…her and the baby are no longer in distress, she should wake shortly.” Steve is standing on the other of your bed watching both you and Cas, watching what Cas is doing unsure if he should thank Cas or punch him for keeping you away all day and not feeding you.

Cas stepping back giving Steve space to look you over. “Thanks.” Steve mumbling quietly, taking your hand in his, not looking at the angel.

“I told Y/N I would watch over her and the baby, I am simply keeping my promise.” Steve hearing what sounds like the flutter of eagle’s wings, looking and seeing Cas is gone. Steve turning back to you, placing a kiss on your forehead. Bruce and Nat continue silently standing there unsure of what to say.

“Can I bring her to our room now?” Steve asks Bruce.

“Yes,” She does need rest, probably fluids and some fruit when she wakes up, but I see no reason for her to remain in the med bay.”

“Good,” Scooping you up, Steve carries you to the elevator. The ding of the bell along with the jostling of you in Steve's arms waking you slightly.

“Steve…” opening your eyes just enough, seeing a fuzzy vision of face. “Where am I?”

“Back in the compound.” Steve redirecting his attention. “Jarvis can you take us to our rooms please.”

“Yes, Captain Rogers.”

“Steve, the baby?”

“He’s fine.”

“Good.” The two of you riding up in silence, snuggle into Steve. His solid form comforting you in your disorientated state. “I love you.” You say falling back asleep in his arms.

“I love you, too.” He says kissing the top of your head. The elevator stops with a ding and the doors open to your floor. There are only two apartments on this floor yours and Steve’s shared apartment and Thor’s. The floor was originally contained four-apartments on this level but with Tony’s renovations, it became a two-apartment floor.

Steve leaning in for the retinal scan, entering the hall, walking to the end of the hall to your room. Gently placing you on your bed, before going to grab some pajamas for you. The remaining clothes you left behind have been moved with the rest of your belongings to the new place after the remodel was finished. Slowly and carefully Steve begins redressing you in the pajamas, crawling into the bed next to you, pulling you into him.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

It’s been a week since you left the bunker. You haven’t heard from Dean, Cas, or Sam. You also didn’t have a chance to call them either. It is eating you up inside. You want badly to talk to Cas, to show him the new nursery, the new quarters you have at the compound. You have just finished getting everything settled into your new quarters from your old apartment, not sure what else to do you sit in the living room of your new place, and think about your current life situation. There is a lot of white, grey, and black in your apartment, after a few moments you decide to purchase some colorful décor, to make the place homier and not so sterile. 

The only sign of movement, of life, is a large floor to ceiling fireplace separating the living area from a small eating area. Without thinking, comparing the surroundings with the cozy feelings you felt at the cottage Cas had built for you, the feeling you have around Cas while there. The cold sterile atmosphere here is upsetting. Rationally, you know the reason the place is such a blank canvas, it as so you and Steve can make it your own. You are wishing it was already cozy and perfect, the way Casa made the cabin for you, he knew you so well, sighing you lean back, finding yourself longing for Cas. You begin longing for the quiet peace of the lake cottage, the comfort, and safety of Cas's arms holding you, the way his chest would vibrate when he talks, the sound of his voice. The more your thoughts dwell on him and the sanctuary he made for the two of you, the more it upset you, ad soon you begin crying.

You find yourself wishing Steve is here for you, but he isn’t he is in a meeting with Fury going over the information your team recovered from the Hydra base. Feeling yourself becoming even more upset, remembering Bruce telling you that you needed to keep your stress levels to a minimum. You try taking deep breaths to calm yourself. It works for a short while but then you start to think about your baby and how you are pregnant, knowing the sex of the baby, and not even bothering to name him, then there is the wedding. Tears are falling again, your heart is starting to race, you are starting to feel dizzy, again. Knowing you need to do something, you do the only thing you can think of, so you pray. Within moments Cas appears by your side. “Y/N, are you okay? You look upset.” Sitting beside you on the sofa, you leaning to him relishing in his presence, the comfort there, falling into him, letting his embrace calm you.

“Cas, I can’t...it’s too much.”

“Shhh…” Holding you to him, lightly running his hand over the top of your head. Feeling him resting his cheek against your head. “Y/N, you’ll be fine.”

“I can’t…”

“Luv, you’re just feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Talk to me.” Sitting there letting him hold you, you take a few moments gathering your thoughts. Focusing on calming your self his essence enveloping you.

“Can we go somewhere else for a bit? This place, it’s just too much.”

“Yes, But you…”

“I know...I’ll leave a note for him, just in case.” Getting up you search around for a notepad and pen. Finding one on the bar in the kitchen, wiring out a simple message. 

I need some fresh air. I'll be back. I love you.

Y/N

Placing the note where you know Steve will find it, turning to Cas “Ok Cas, I need fresh air, sunshine. Just someplace relaxing, any ideas?”

Looking at you, Cas smiles. “I have a perfect place.” Wrapping his arms around you, grabbing onto him as if he is life itself, the two of you disappear. 

“Were here.” Cas’ lips brushing your ear whispering. Opening your eyes, looking around you see a cavern with a skylight shining down through the center. Looking to your left, seeing a small exit to a beautiful beach, it is warm, but not overly warm. The smell of salt air filling your senses as a light breeze rushes over your skin. 

“Cas...this is beautiful…” the awe still in your voice. “Where are we?”

“A small island on the southwestern side of Mexico.” He answers softly, reminding you of how things could be with Cas. He could show you sights that you only dreamed of. This is just a small sample of what he could do for you, He is utterly devoted to you.

“Cas…how did you know about this place?”

“I found it a few months ago. I was preparing.” Looking at him studying his face you are waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t.

“Preparing for what?”

Moving towards you pulling you into his arms. “For you…” Leaning his head down brushing his lisps against yours, “For this…” he whispers against your lips before kissing you softly and sweetly.

You pull him into you, holding him tighter. Your need for him overtaking your moral compass, the part of you that is telling you this is so wrong. Deepening the kiss, moaning with need. Cas’s hands moving down to your butt lifting you into him. Your legs wrapping around him. All the worries and anxiety you are feeling, vanishing with his touch. The feeling of his arms around you pushing that discomfort away. Feeling Cas pushing you against a rocky wall. The feeling of the wet smooth rocks against your back jarring you into reality, pulling back looking at Cas, he catches your eyes fro a moment before moving to kiss down your neck.

“Cas…” 

“Mmm..hmm” feeling the vibration against your neck. 

“Cas…I can’t”

“Yes...you can, you just move your hips a little…”

“Cas. That’s not what I mean…” you interrupt him, pushing him back slightly, sighing before pulling back.

“I know…” He says avoiding looking you in the face.

“It’s not that I don’t want to...its just that...”

“You’re with Steve.”

“I don’t want to do anything...with anyone...until I know what I truly feel. I can’t love you both. It’s not ...”

“Y/N,” Cas placing his hand on your chin turning your head up looking into your eyes. “Come here.” He asks reaching his hand out to you, taking it in yours. He walks you the large opening in the ceiling of the cave, light is pouring down into a large 4-foot circle, on the white soft sand. Looking in the circle you see a cream blanket spread out on the sand. “Here...fresh air, sunlight, and quiet, as you asked.” Cas smiles at you, gesturing to the blanket. You sit down, looking up at him.

“Are you going to sit with me?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes…” feeling a moment of hurt. You can tell Cas is feeling rejected, and this hurts you.

Cas moves to sit by you, but not next to you, keeping a slight distance. You wait from him to get settled before moving over next to him, resting your head on his shoulder. At first, he does nothing. Then he lays back pulling you into him. You curl into his side as you both gaze at and through the hole in the ceiling of the cavern into the sky above. Laying there watching a cloud floating by in occasion, listening to the soft slow steady beat of Cas’ heart. Finally feeling free to let your mind wander for the first time this week.

“Cas, you know I never even thought about naming the baby yet. I was so caught up in my own personal bullshit.”

“A lot has happened these last few weeks. I think he understands.” You laugh lightly. “That is such a beautiful sound.” His voice low, drawing you into him. Looking at him, you see he is already looking to you, seeing a sense of awe in his eyes. “Your soul looks so beautiful...when you are content...happy.” His voice is even quieter than a whisper. Leaning in you kiss him.

Cas pulling you onto him, his hand snaking into your hair. His fingers softly holding your hair as he deepens the kiss. This time you don’t pull back, letting him kiss you. Letting yourself get lost in him. The sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks outside your little cove falling away as your body becomes attuned to him. The sound of his heartbeat mixing with yours is the only thing you hear. You move your hand slowly up to his face, running your hand over his cheek, the slight stubble rough but oddly comforting against your thumb. You pull away for a second as a moment of doubt suddenly sneak up on you, your eyes meeting his. Cas looking into your eyes, you can see the love there mixed with the hurt and doubt. You can see he is as confused about what to do as you are.

“Cas…I…”

“Don’t. I know what happens after today. I just need this...I need you to need this.” That is all you need to hear, moving in to kiss him again, this time with renewed passion. Cas responding by rolling you over onto your back. “Y/N…this. It will be the start of something...I don’t think I can stop.”

“I know…”

“I don’t mean just now. I mean…”

Moving you lips to his kissing him quickly. “I know…I need this too...at least for now.”

“I love you,” He says, his hands moving quickly, first to the loose-fitting pants you have on making quick work of removing them. Breaking your kiss briefly to remove your shirt. Taking a second to admire your body. You start unbuttoning his shirt running your hands over his chest.

“There’s too much.” Whispering in a raspy needy to him. Nodding, he quickly sheds his coat, shirt, and tie, kissing a wet trail down your neck to your shoulder. “Cas…” moaning in frustration, attempting to remove his pants, blocked by the way his body is pressing into yours. IN an attempt to further show him what you want, cupping his bulge with your hand rubbing it gently.

Moaning in return, he quickly removes all of his clothes. Pulling him to you, kissing him deeply, moving your hand back to him. You begin slowly moving your hand over him, slowly pumping his half erection, getting the desired result. He goes to work removing the only pieces of fabric separating the two of you.

“Luv…are you sure you want this?” asking while slowly moves your panties down your legs and off of your foot. “I won’t be able to walk away after this...not again. I’ll be crossing a line I won’t be able to return from.”

Look into his eyes, waiting for them to meet yours. When they do you answer him. “Cas, I have never stopped wanting you, needing you.” Whispering to him, the truth of your words are clear to him through your eyes. “I love you, always.”

Those four words seem to drive him. His eyes turn from soft and longing to lustful, kissing you deeply. Without warning, thrusting two fingers inside of you. You cry out in shock, beginning to moan from the pleasure they are bringing you as they move in and out of you, seconds later. Setting a pace that is not fast but steady, you feel the coil in your body tightening with the rising of your pleasure. “Cas!!!" you moan loudly, encouraging him as he moves a third finger inside of you, moving his thumb to massage your nub. The increasing sensations causing you to buck into him. Cas moving to place his other hand to hold your hips down increasing his pace. His lips moving to yours, swallowing the uncontrolled moaning coming from you. You feel the building fire inside, filling you, feeling as if you are about to explode. Cas seems to feel you impending release as well, pulling away from the kiss, looking into your eyes.

“I want to look into your eyes while you cum for me.”

“Cas…Please…I…” you try to speak but your mind is scrambling with the sensations he is bringing you.

“That’s it, love, let go.” His eyes locking with yours, moving his fingers in and out of you faster, curving them just slightly, hitting your special spot inside. Within seconds you are screaming out his name.

“Look at me.” He commands and instantly your eyes lock with him, thrusting his fingers harder and faster into you, hitting your spot as you continue fumbling over the edge your eye locked with his.

“Cas…” slowly coming down from your high, bringing you down before pulling his fingers out of you.

“Yes, luv…” sucking you off his fingers one at a time. “I have wanted to taste you for so long” the image turning you on. Feeling your body already preparing for him again. “I think I need a better taste.” He whispers into your ear, quickly moving his face to your core. His tongue slowly lapping at the juices still coating you, moaning against your center, causing you to moan softly at the sensation, your body is still sensitive from your release. His mouth latching onto your clit sucking on it gently.

“Cas…shit…” crying out, the sensation causing your body to skyrocket into a near orgasm. 

“That it little girl, call out for me, tell me how good I make you feel.”

Cas talking dirty turning you on more than what he is doing. “Oh…fuck.” You say as his tongue is joined by his fingers, the doubled sensation driving you to the edge. “Cas…I’m…Fuck…I can’t”

“Don’t hold back…Cum for me...let go.” His mouth goes back to your nub squeezing it lightly between his teeth as his fingers hit your g-spot, you screaming for him, convulsing as you have an extremely intense orgasm. 

“Fuck…CAS…YES…right there…” your fingers dig into the back of his head, making him moan loudly, sending you over the edge. You can feel your release running over his face onto your thighs. He releases your clit, quickly lapping at your entrance, removing his fingers as his tongue is now entering you. 

You don’t even have time to recover before he removes his mouth from you. You moan at the loss, your body still throbbing and humming from your orgasm. He moves up your body quickly, kissing you roughly as he begins thrusting fully into you. “Cas…” you cry out. Feeling him fully inside of you, he is setting a brutal pace. The orgasm you were coming down from already on the rise, your body thrumming. A tear falling from your eye, the stimulation overwhelming you.

“Cas…God…I’m so close…” you moan out. Pulling his lips away from your neck, he looks into your eyes. 

“Yes...love…that’s it squeezes me good, show me how hot you are for me...How good I can fuck you.” He pants out above you.

“Fuck…that’s…fuck…. Cas!”

"It’s okay...you can cum...again...if you need. I’m not even close yet. I’m not done with your tight little pussy. I am going to make you mine.” The wrecked tone in his voice, along with the understanding that you are getting thoroughly fucked by him causing a reaction in your body. Your body speeding to your edge that is already so near. Wrapping your legs around his hips, changing the position slightly, is all it takes. His movements changing to hard and fast, another orgasm rushing through your body. Cas not showing any sign of slowing pushing you through your orgasm. “You are never going to satisfied by another man after I am done with you." he moans.

“Cas…I can’t…” you beg him. “I need…”

“Love...You can… You are going to cum for me until you see stars...fireworks…. even if it… takes… me… all… day… and …night…” He pants out as he pounding into you between his words.Shifting, pulling your legs in front of him holding them to his chest while his other hand moves to rub your clit.

"Fuck…Christ…. Cas…God…That’s…. Right there…. Oh My GOD…” Your body tensing and throbbing, you feel yet another orgasm rising in you. The new position causing you to see stars and pleasure filling your mind with complete bliss.

“Fuck you are soooo…. tight and…squeezing me…. you feel so fucking good.” Cas swearing as he is fucking you sending you over the edge again. “That’s it, baby…you feel so fucking good...I am going to wreck you.”

“That’s it, baby, squeeze my cock with your perfect pussy. Milk me good.” He keeps thrusting into you hard and fast.

You think he is about to finish, his thrusting starting to falter, but you realize he is preparing to pull out of you. “Over on your hands and knees.” 

Moving into he new position, feeling him quickly lining himself up. Without warning, he is back inside you. “That’s it, baby,” fucking into you hard and fast. Your body bouncing forward from the force of his trusts. “baby girl...you will know who owns you…” grabbing your hips tight. “I…will…fuck…you…until…you…can’t…walk…” He grunts out, each word accentuated with a thrust.

“Cas…” you whine unsure if your body can handle any more.

Putting his hand on your back pushing you lower. The new position allowing him to hit your sweet spot. You feel yourself building yet again, slower this time. Once you are positioned how he wants, you feel him moving his hand back onto your hips, thrusting into you harder, feeling him hitting your cervix with each thrust. “You feel so good” he pants into you. “Why didn’t I try this before.” Moaning loudly his thrusting picking up pace, continuing hitting your cervix. Your core tightening around him, feeling your body readying for release. “Baby...cum for me please.” He moans, moving a hand from your hip to your clit, rubbing it fiercely making you fall over the edge.

"Cas...God…” You cry out.

“Yes! Baby...that’s it, worship me when I’m inside you.” He growls out.

“Fuck...Cas...I can’t hold… It’s too much...” Your body is starting to give out, your orgasm washing over you. Cas slowing, rubbing a hand over your body, holding you against him.

“Love…I have one more thing I need to try.” whispering to you from behind. His fingers moving into your core, wetting his fingers. 

“Cas...I just can’t...not anymore…” Exhaustion slowly overtaking you. “My body…it’s…”

“Baby...hang on.” The hand not in your core moving over your cheek, suddenly making you feel batter, less used.

“Cas…” wanting to ask him what he did, but before you can, you feel his fingers against you, but not where you expected.

“It’s ok baby…this will feel good…” He whispers against your cheek entering a finger in your other hole. You wait for the feeling of pain, but there is none. It feels odd but good, different. “You ready for the next finger?” he says slowly moving the first one in and out of you.”

You simply nod, unsure of how this is going to feel, but you trust him. “Good girl,” his rough voice whispers against you. He holds you against his chest with one hand, the other pushing two fingers inside of you, feeling the stretch slightly. He angles the fingers, pleasure shooting through your body, instantly.

“Cas…” you moan.

“That’s it baby relax for me…” he whispers, moving his fingers a little faster as his lips clamp onto your neck. “Go you feel so good…I can’t wait…” he moans and nibbles at the bite he made on your neck, soothing it. “Oh, that’s going to leave a mark.”

He shoves a third finger into you, effectively removing any protest you may have been about to make, instead you cry out. “Fuck me…Cas…Fuck…”

“Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you”

“Yes!! God...Yes....Cas. I need your cock…” Crying out fro him.

Moving his hand away from you, slowly nudges his tip against your entrance, slowly pushing into you, penetrating you, squeezing your eye try to breathe through the feeling.

“God baby…You are too tight.” Moaning, moving into you. Once he is fully seated inside of you, he pauses. “Fuck...I can’t move…You are so tight, God baby. Is this the first time you've done this?”

“Yes,” you whine.

“I'll go slow then…” Whispering to you softly, know it is his first time too, pulling out slowly, the friction feeling delicious inside of you.

“Cas…” you moan.

“I know baby, I know.” Caressing your ass reaching the end, moving back into you, slightly faster.

“God…Fuck...” You call out as you fist the blanket under you.

“Baby...your so tight…Let me know when you are ready.” Pulling out slowly again and moving in a little harder this time. The sensation driving your crazy. 

“Cas…please…faster.” you cry out.

“Fuck…yes…yes, baby.” Starting a slow but steady pace. Your body responding as you feel your core getting wet. You try to move your hand you rub yourself but you feel your balance faltering.

“Love...do you need some other attention?” Cas moaning over you. His hand running over you to your core. His fingers quickly moving inside of you.

“God Yes…. Just like that Cas…Fuck…”

“Baby....is such a dirty little girl. Needing both holes filled with me.” Panting from behind you, his pace picking up slightly.

“Fuck me...Cas....harder…faster…” You want his fingers to move faster into you, but instead, you feel something else, you feel his hands grabbing your hips but the feeling of his fingers inside of you remains, the speed of both increasing faster, the increasing pleasure making you cry out.

“Cas…GOD…YES…OH MY GOD…How can this feel so good.?” Asking no one.

“Com’ on baby…give me another…I need another…” he starts to move his cock into you faster something is now on your clit rubbing faster and harder. You feel yourself falling over the edge into oblivion. Cas quickly grabbing you roughly onto your hips. He starts to thrust into you with a fierceness that makes you scream out.

“Cas FUCK…SHIT…WHAT…MY…FUCK...” all thought leaving you. 

"Baby hold on I got one more thing to try." His voice wracked with desire. You feel something wring itself inside your cunt, moving inside of you, both holes are now being filled, the sensation momentarily confusing you, but the passion building inside of you sending all thought away.

“Y/N…I’m close…I can’t…God, you are so tight…you feel so fucking good.” His thrusting is bordering on painful. You feel so full, so complete your orgasm teetering.

“Fuck me harder…Cas you…God...you fill me so full…I can’t” The feel of him entering both holes, increasing your pleasure and you can’t do anything but moan and cry in pleasure. His thrust quickly becoming frantic, feeling your body spasming around him. 

“That’s it, baby…Cum with Me. Milk every bit of me...I’m going to fill you so full…So fucking full. I’m going to rip you in half.” His thrusts getting even harder and faster. Before you know it you are screaming in pleasure. Your orgasm filling you, closing your eyes, fireworks filling your vision, feeling Cas’s cum filling you.

“That’s it, baby, take it...take it all in…Milk me dry…” Panting as he slows inside of you. Feeling him stop, holding you to him, collapsing next to you, still inside you.

“Cas…that was…”

“Perfect…I love you.” He kissing your shoulder from behind, holding your too him, feeling him slowly softening inside of you.

“I love you too.” You whisper in complete contentment. The two of you laying together for some time. You notice the sky darkening overhead, realizing how long the two f you have been gone. “I need to get back.” You whisper.

“I know.” Cas shifting behind you. “When will I see you again?”

“Steve has a mission in three weeks.” You answer knowing in your heart, this is wrong, knowing you should remain faithful to Steve, but you aren’t ready to let Cas go. You now know, you may never be ready.

Cas nods. “We should get dressed.” Having forgotten your state of dress, you blush. Both of you dressing quickly.


	38. Chapter 38

The two of you arrive back to your apartment. You quickly give Cas a kiss before he disappears. Seeing the note you felt Steve is gone, you hope Steve is too. Quickly, making your way to the shower, needing to get the traces of your time with Cas off of you. Stripping down, climbing in, the hot water rushing over you, you begin crying as guilt rushes over you.

“Baby…you okay?” Steve’s voice coming from the other side of the shower door.

“Yeah…” cursing your shaking voice. 

“Want some company?”

“OK…” Looking down as the bruises Cas left on your hips. They are dark and very noticeable. You are sure the mark on your neck is in the same state.

Your eyes meeting Steve’s as he closes the door behind him. You can hear his taking off his clothes and then feel him stepping in the shower behind you, taking just a second from him to see the bruises. 

“Baby, what happened, did I do that?” Your mind racing…then it hits you. Last night, he thinks he did this to you. 

“it’s ok...gorgeous.” And there it is, not really lying, but not being honest with him either, the first time of many if you continue your relationship with Cas. Feeling a pit forming in your stomach, but you know the truth would be worse, much worse. 

“Well, I need to learn to be more careful with you, and him.” Whispering in your ear, head resting on your shoulder, reaching around placing a hand on your stomach.

“About that…” You look to him hoping to take advantage of the change of subject. Turning to grab your body wash, lathering up your loofah, handing it to Steve. He begins gently scrubbing you; the routine having become normal after you began your relationship, even more so since you moved into the apartment together. “I have an idea for the baby’s name.”

“Oh yeah?” moving the loofah to his other hand, he reaches up turning you to face him. You start as he begins scrubbing the front of your body lightly.

“Grant Buchannan Rogers…” His hand stalls for a second his eyes meeting yours.

“Are you sure?” Steve’s eyes meet yours. “That’s a little…old fashioned isn’t it?”

“I think it’s perfect.” You smile wrapping your arms around him. “What could be better using the middle names of the man I love and his best friend and closest family?”

Smiling Steve looks at you lovingly. “I think…since you put it that way...It’s perfect.” Leaning in kissing you. You kiss him back softly before pulling away, turning, grabbing his body wash. 

“Your turn.” You say brightly. His smile faltering at first, but he recovering slightly, his eyes remaining locked with yours.

“Of course.” Reaching around you grabbing his shampoo.

“Any chance I get to run my hands over this masterpiece.” You say with a smile, placing your hands on his chest, Steve laughing heartily.

“Baby...you don’t need to take a shower with me, to touch me.”

“I do...if I want to touch you while you're all...wet...and sexy.” Winking at him, scrubbing his chest slowly. Mentally trying to concentrate on what you have in front of you, and not what you left at the beach in Mexico.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

“Dean, it's been a week.” 

“Sammy, don’t start.”

“So...What? You want me to watch you drink yourself into oblivion?”

“No…Yeah....Why do you care?”

“Oh, I don’t know…Could it be because you’re my brother?” 

“So...now you care?” Dean half shouting, glaring at Sam.

“I've always cared.” Sam shoots back.

“Oh, you cared so much that you told her to leave.” Dean retorts taking another drink of his beer. “Or better yet...You encouraging Cas to make a move on her…CAS!”

“Dean, I did what I thought was best for everyone.”

“Everyone...but me.” Dean growls glaring at Sam.

“Dean, you only showed a genuine interest in her when someone else showed interest. You had years with her, and the best you could do was have sex with her, with her without even giving her the courtesy of exclusivity. You were still screwing other women when you were with her.”

“We weren’t a couple.”

Sam sighing deeply, shaking his head. “Exactly my point. You couldn’t even commit to her a Dean. At least Cas has done that, in his own way.”

“Whatever…I would have done that eventually if that was what she wanted. But obviously, she didn't.” Dean grumbles.

“SHE DID want that Dean! She waited YEARS for you to commit, but you didn't, so she left. The only reason anything happened between the two of you at all, is because she still had some lingering feelings, maybe even guilt. The reason why she and Cas almost became a thing, is because he faced his feelings, he told her, pursued her. He didn't run from his feelings, or bury them with alcohol.” Sam’s voice full of frustration.

Dean glaring at Sam, swallowing a large gulp of whiskey before replying. “I don’t run from my feelings, I just don’t go around announcing them.”

“Dean…” Sam starting to chastise his ignorance but his focus is distracted, his attention moving to something over Deans shoulder. Dean turns, seeing Cas standing behind him.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Away” Cas looking at Sam avoiding Dean's glare.

“Oh? Away? Can you be any more vague?” Dean criticizes.

“Cas, everything okay?”

“Yes, Sam.” Moves to the other end of the table, Cas pulls out a chair sitting down. There is something about him that Sam can’t put a finger on. Cas seeming different somehow...lighter.

“Cas…Where. Were. You.” Dean grounds out. Moves to the edge of his chair, Leaning towards Cas. Sam can see Dean is trying to intimidate Cas, examining him. “You look…pleased? You went to see Y/N. didn't you?.” Dean is about ready to come off the chair. Sam puts a hand out attempting to stop Dean from attacking Dean. Sam, having a feeling, now, that he knows where Cas was and what he was upto.

“Yes, I was. She was calling out for me.”

“Is she okay?” Sam asking in concern for you.

“Yes...Sam, she’s fine, she just needed some time away from the compound." Cas turns from Sam to Dean. “We went to Mexico for the day.”

“Oh yeah…because that’s what we do when we need time for ourselves, we leave the country.” Dean snorts

“Dean…” Sam trying to intervene. “I’m sure Cas did what Y/N needed.” Cas nodding as if in answer.

“Yeah...because she couldn’t just go to the park. No...we go all the way to FUCKING Mexico.” Dean turning to Cas. “So Cas, where in Mexico did you go?”

“A beach.” Cas thinking for a second, deciding that additional clarification is needed. “It is a cavern we went to, leading to a beach between two mountain ranges.”

“Well, that sounds cozy…” Sam glaring at Dean silently telling him to stop verbally attacking Cas. “What? It sounds very romantic…But Cas knows better than that. Right, Cas!” Dean' voice rising looking back to Cas. “Because...Y/N is engaged! Right, Cas?”

Sam continues staring at Dean. Giving him bitch face. Dean, ignoring Sam is starting to get smug. He knows he is onto something.

“It was romantic and private.” Cas replying simply. “It was the perfect place for us to make love,” Cas stating matter of factly, knowing it will piss Dean off. Hoping that letting Dean know what happened between the two of you, that it would show him that you moved on to himself and Steve. Maybe then, Dean will find a way to do the same.

Sam’s head whipping around in shock, staring at Cas, his jaw hanging open. Dean, on the other hand, is doing everything in his power to keep himself from attacking Cas.

“Cas…” Cas looking at Sam, tilting his head in curiosity. “Yes, Sam?”

“Did you just say what I think you said?”

“That I made love to Y/N all day at the beach?” Cas repeating as if he said something so common like "Pass the salt.".

Sam is speechless. Dean, however, is now up out of his chair. “You Son-of-a-Bitch!” Dean pounding his fists into Cas's face before Sam can react. Cas throws Dean across the room, pinning him to the wall.

“Cas…” Sam pleads trying to calm the angel down

“Sam. Y/N is not Dean's. He has no right to attack me for being with her.”

“I know.” Sam sighs looking down to the floor conceding. “Dean, you lost her. You had your chance and you lost her. Blaming Cas, or Steve or even me. If she chooses to be with Cas, then we should respect her choice.”

Cas, slowly letting Dean down from the wall, waiting for him to react. Dean, resentful, glares at Cas, then at Sam. After a moment, Dean stands up grabbing the six-pack on the table, storming off down the hall.

“What the hell Cas?” Sam turning on him. “Do you have to antagonize him like that?”

“I thought if he knew...then he would understand...Y/N has moved on.”

“Cas,” Sam pausing taking in a deep breath. “That is kinda a dick move.”

“Sorry…” Cas looking to the floor, his voice lowering. “I just thought.”

“Cas, I know what you were thinking. You thought you would rub in Deans face that you have Y/N and he doesn’t”

“Sam. That was not my intention.”

“No, but it was a perk…” Sam shaking his head, looking at the beer in his hand. “You have been spending way too much time with Dean. You’re starting to act like him.”

Cas continues sitting in his chair, unsure of what to say if anything. Sam continues starting at the table, contemplating the situation. “Cas, if you are…with…Y/N, what happened between her and Steve?”

“Nothing. They are still together.” Sam starts choking spitting out his beer.

“Then she is what? Cheating on Steve.”

“She is unsure of what she wants.”

“She is engaged!!!! Cas.”

“I know”

“Cas…Umm.” Sam shifting in his seat. “Cas...if Steve found out...what the two of you...are spending time together...he’d kill you.”

“Steve knows I spend time with Y/N.”

Sam’s face goes completely pale, struggling to find words. “uh…hmmm…Well…” He sitting still studying his beer for a few more seconds. “Cas, what exactly does he know?”

“Y/N told him she needs me around. So...Steve is allowing it.” Cas is being evasive, and Sam knows it.

“Cas…Exactly what did Y/N say to Steve.”

“She told him she needs me to be there for her and the baby. To keep them safe and offer comfort.”

“Cas, Steve thinks you’re her best friend. Not her lover. There is a BIG difference.”

“I am aware of this, Sam.”

“Then why?” Sam sighing shaking his head. Wondering how in the hell he gets stuck helping Dean and now Cas with these fucked up situations. “Y/N is happy with Steve, he is good for her, they are engaged. Cas, you....need to step back.”

“I am giving Y/N her space. She only calls for me when she needs to see me.”

“Cas, you need to let her go. All you are doing is confusing her.”

Cas keeps looking at Sam. There is a truth to what Sam is saying. In his heart, he knows that you may love him, but he also knows that, if he keeps coming to you, allowing you to be with him, lying to Steve on, you will end up unhappy. “Sam…She’s like a drug to me. I just can’t say no to her. I love her.”

“I know Cas.” Sam sympathizing with him, knowing what addiction can be like, having been addicted to something himself. “But sometimes the best thing for someone is to cut them out of your life. You are probably an addiction to her, too. The love the two of you share is what is keeping her from being happy with Steve.” Cas already knowing this but hearing it from Sam makes the fact hit him hard. “You need to let her go so she can explore her relationship with Steve. Give them a chance. If it doesn’t work, then step in and be there for her.”

Cas considering this option. “Sam, I need to go…think about this.” Instantly, Cas disappears.

“God, if you are even listening. Cas in a big mess, he…we…need your help here.” Sam saying to the empty room, taking another swig of his beer, heading to bed.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Finishing your shower, you and Steve dress taking lunch on the balcony. Slowly losing the guilt you were feeling from earlier as the day continues on. The two of you go shopping after lunch to find some décor for your new home. Steve starting by picking out items for the nursery. Focusing on blues, you sneak in a few star-shaped pillows and a pillow that is in the form of Steve’s shield. The two of you seem to be in sync with your decorating styles making the shopping trip easy and fun, the only issue coming with the art choices. You want more fun contemporary art where he is more into scenic and antique art choices. To compromise you combine both styles. When the two of you get back to your new apartment, you begin unpacking the nursery items, pulling out the shield pillow, you see Steve smiling shaking his head. “That is a little over the top don’t you think?”

“I think it is adorable.” Smiling placing the small pillow inside the white crib Thor gave you as a baby shower gift. “Grant is going to need someone to aspire to. Who better than his daddy?” turning looking at Steve. Steve moving to you, wrapping his arms around you.

“Well…I hope I give him something good to aspire to” Kissing you briefly.

" Steve...You are the most moral, confident, loving, loyal and decent man I know. Plus you're the unofficial leader of the Avengers, earth's mightiest heroes. And you're his Daddy, what little boy doesn't want to grow up to be like his dad." You answer leaning your head against his chest. “Well..." Steve's face turning a light shade of red. You feel his breath catching in his chest. When he starts speaking you can hear a sense of pride in his voice. "Maybe we should get a few posters, some stars and stripes curtains…or one of those nightlights that project the entire team on the ceiling.”

“Wow…” You laugh. “Maybe not quite that crazy.” Sliding out from in front of him, trying to avoid what he is working himself up to. You can’t deal with the guilt right now.

“I’m going to go figure out where to hang some of those pictures.” Leave the room, leaving Steve standing next to the crib, watching you leave. You don’t see the hurt on his face or the knowing look he is giving you, knowing something is wrong, having a suspicion as to what it is. He is wanting to confront you, but his mind keeps going back to what Bruce said to him. He loves you, but how far is loving you going to get him? How long is he going to pretend nothing is going on before he can't take it any longer?

“Steve, is this a good spot for this?” Calling to Steve from the other room, taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he comes into the living room to help you hand pictures in your new home.

Finishing your decorating, you look out the floor to ceiling windows or your apartment seeing that the sun is setting, dropping down onto the sofa, exhausted. Steve is standing by the window looking out over the field below. You lean back on the sofa watching him and the sunset beyond him. Guilt having already come and gone, now you are feeling emotionally drained. Your mind wandering to all the craziness that has been going on. Looking around you, feeling the finality of the situation, feeling like this is it. This is home. That man standing by your window. He has stood by you through everything. When you were crying yourself to sleep because you missed the boys. And again, because you were unsure if you made the right choice. He was there to comfort you more than anyone ever has before, except Cas. You mind moving to Cas. You love Steve more than anything. You also know that as much as you want to be with Cas, it is not where you belong. Fate has told you the truth, you are having a baby with Steve, Chuck would never have let that happen if you were meant to be with Cas. Suddenly it hits you, Chuck. You need to talk to Chuck.

Before you can even give it another thought, he appears before you. “Y/N”

“Chuck…” looking st Steve, seeing that he and the word is frozen around you.

“Y/N.” Chuck moving across the room, over to the sofa sitting by you. “You already know what you need to do. Why do you feel the need to ask me?”

“I don’t...Chuck, I’m confused.”

“No, you just don’t want to say goodbye. You don’t want to hurt anyone. But deep in here.” Pressing his finger to your chest over your heart. “He will be fine. He understands, and he has accepted it. He has been holding onto you because he loves you, but you are meant to be with someone else.” Chuck finishing, looking at Steve. “That baby was supposed to be a clue, it was supposed to be a tipping point for you. You just care too much about him.” He smiles at you lovingly. “That’s what I get when I change my mind, mid-plan.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Cas was supposed to be your mate. I thought that you would be good for him, and he for you. That is why he found you all those years ago.” Chuck turns looking to Steve again. “But then Steve defies all my plans, and appears here.”

“Steve was never…” You realize the issue.

“No...he was supposed to stay dead. When his plane went down, but thanks to some unruly fates, he was brought back.” Chuck looking to you. “It was then that I saw it, that you needed him and, he needed you.”

“What about Cas?”

“Cas will be fine,” Chuck says softly. “Although this is his first brush with love. It will be a learning experience.”

“So I'm meant to be with Steve? What if I want to be with Cas?”

“Do you?”

You know deep inside the truth, Chuck is right, you always have known. “No, I feel drawn to Steve, like he is a part of me. It is confusing because I realized when I saw Cas again, back in Kansas, that I feel the same way about Cas. Cas is a part of me, and when I saw him again, I finally felt whole again. I was instantly drawn to Cas, I will always have feelings for him. Dean was a distraction. I felt an attraction to him. I think it was the way he was with me. He was so confident and flirty, showing me affection and care that I never received from anyone before. I was attracted to Cas even then but I didn't know it was mutual. I didn't know that our feeling for each other could be so strong. I loved being with Cas but at the same time I knew being with Cas is wrong, I just didn’t know why.” You feel tears filling your eyes. "I had Steve, have Steve, but I kept being drawn to Cas, I feel like the worst person on earth. I am playing with their emotions.” You drop your head in shame. 

"Y/N, you were only going with your feelings. I should have...I need to work on this soul mate thing. Especially with the reincarnation aspects."

"So...you're saying Steve was my suture soulmate?" questioning Chuck. Your mind is completely blown by this whole situation. "And Cas was meant to be with me now?"

" Well...yes. That was the original plan." Chuck admitting his face turning somber. After a moment brightening. "What was it like when you first met Steve, I have always wondered how it feels when soul mates meet." 

A smile running across your face, you feel your heart speeding up thinking about Steve. “The first moment I saw him I felt drawn to him. I wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him, I never wanted to leave his side. I feel like I am on fire inside, whenever he is around. ” Looking at Steve than turning to Chuck, “But I guess that is my soul calling out to him.”

Chuck smiles then nods simply. “You felt that before, with Cas. I made you forget. But Cas, well, Cas remembers, unfortunately. I can’t make angels forget things like this. An angle with a mate is a rare thing, and once mated it is impossible to erase. That’s why he can’t back away, it's my fault that the two of you are drawn to each other.”

“So, that is why I feel so drawn to him, part of me is drawn to the part of him that knows I am his mate." You feel tears streaming down your face. This explains so much. You feel angry at Chuck for palying with your emotions but you realize that you were fdiong the same with Steve and Cas. You figure it is only fair. "What now?”

“Well, now you move on. You make your life with Steve. As for Cas…well...I will talk to Cas. He will be angry, but he will be fine. He will watch over you and guard you. You and Steve will have a good life, a happy life.” Looking to Steve again, his still form reminding you, time is at a standstill.

“Chuck, will I remember Steve...in the next life?”

“No, Peggy was supposed to be the love of his life. She will be his in the next life.”

“Why?” You are suddenly completely overcome with emotions.

“Because...sometimes free will gets messy. Sometimes, I need to improvise.”

“But why me. I can’t be jumping around like this. I need…my soul needs to belong to one man.”

“Y/N, it doesn’t work like that…”

“I know you told me that free will messed with the order. But can’t we make the order change forever?” You know who you want, and you don’t want to lose him in this life, or the next.

“I can…if that is what you want.”

“I do…”

“So be it. You will be with him for every life from this moment throughout eternity.”

“Chuck,” He looks you. Your eyes meet his. “Thank you,”

“No problem kiddo, I just needed to fix this, that little one.” He places a hand on your stomach. “He's very important to me, to everything.”

Suddenly he's gone and everything feels different. You see Steve breathing again, at the window. Your brain feels cloudy like a distance memory is trying to scratch at the back of your mind but you are unsure of what it is.

You are startled by Steve as he turns coming to you. “So baby, you ready for cuddles and a movie. It’s been a long day.”

“Yes...of course. I love you.” You feel more love for him than you ever had before.

“I love you too.” Steve looking at you, wondering where the new need to express your love is coming from.

“Pick out a romance, I want something mellow and sweet.” You tell him, reaching for your phone. Steve smiles to you. “I know the perfect movie.”

While Steve gets the movie ready you shoot off a text to Cas. “Hey, tell Dean I'm sorry fro being such a bitch, I'm with Steve and he just needs to respect that. Steve and I are excited to show you the new nursery.”

You wait a moment before he responds. “Looking forward to it.” Cas answering you. After a few moments, he sends another text. "I will miss us" You are confused not sure what he is talking about, dismissing it as Cas being Cas.

The wedding is beautiful, yet simple, just close family and friends. The guys showing up making you happy, Dean is finally getting past the rejection. He tells you it is mostly because he met someone new, but what you doing know it mostly has to do with Chuck and his repairs on your life, and timeline alteration. Cas does a good job hiding his feelings for you, smiling at the wedding, even during the reception, giving a great speech about how lovely the two of you are together. The speech moving you to tears, because of the beauty of it, but also because you feel his pain and loss in some hidden part deep inside of you. No longer doubting Steve or your relationship with him. The only ones who remember the indiscretions you had in the past is Cas. Grant is born and is all the buzz at the compound and eventually your house in Brooklyn. Steve finding a small home not far from where he grew up for you and your ever-growing family. You are now pregnant with a second child and could not be happier. Cas continuing to check in on you and Grant. Grant has the most stunning blue eyes and the brightest smile.

“Doll,” You hear Steve whisper from behind you as you change Grant's diaper. “Where are you?”

“I’m right here!” you say knowing he means something else.

You finish fastening the diaper turning to him. “You seem somewhere else?”

Sighing looking into his eyes. “You ever wonder...would have been happier... if you were able to stay with Peggy?”

Steve looking at you shocked for a second seeing that you are serious. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’m just thinking about everything that had to happen to bring us together.”

“No baby, I am completely happy with everything at this moment, in this life.” Kissing you on the forehead. “If I could choose, I'd to do the same thing all over again, every time.” Leaning down further, capturing your lips., sensing your hesitation. “Why did you? Are you wishing you were back in Kansas?”

“No... Steve...no...I made my choice. You have no idea how much it took to get here. I was wanting to make sure you are happy.”

His face goes from concerned to predatory., taking your hand in his, pulling you down the hall to your bedroom. “Let me show you how happy I am.” Your heart jumping in your chest. You know, in that moment, you made the right choice.


End file.
